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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26012245">Fait accompli</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentRain91/pseuds/SilentRain91'>SilentRain91</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teenage Bounty Hunters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Continuation, Coming Out, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I Ship It, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Secrets, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, don't steal my fanfic, my attempt at season 2, very minimal bounty hunting because I'm a gay disaster</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:21:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>107,609</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26012245</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentRain91/pseuds/SilentRain91</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just when Sterling had enough of surprises, she turned 17. And then the mark appeared. She used to think soulmates were fiction; made up by hopeless romantics. Or maybe she ate the wrong kind of brownie and had the weirdest hallucination ever. But the ink stayed, and suddenly being a bounty hunter wasn’t the most exciting thing in her life anymore.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sterling Wesley/April Stevens</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>961</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1633</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Fait accompli: a done deal, something 'set in stone,' if you will. </p><p>----Disclaimer; do not read this unless you've seen the show or don't mind spoilers----</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“We…we’re not sisters? That’s insane. What about our twin thing?” Blair declared mere seconds after yet another sledgehammer came down on Sterling’s life. “She has to be lying,” Blair went on, “right, mom?”</p><p>“I’m sorry, girls,” their mother uttered with a sigh. “Your daddy and I never meant for you to find out this way.”</p><p>“We wanted to protect you,” their daddy added.</p><p>“It’s true?” Sterling croaked, although deep down, she knew it was from the moment Dana said so. Her second realization was the fact this news wasn’t easy to process for Blair either. “You’ll always be my sister,” Sterling promised as she grabbed Blair’s hand, “I don’t care if we didn’t share a womb.”</p><p>“I don’t care either, I probably would have absorbed you anyway because I love you so much,” Blair replied while she smiled through her tears.</p><p>Sterling started smiling while she cried, too. She hugged Blair and when more tears came, she wasn’t sure anymore whether they were out of sadness or relief. Not being kidnapped anymore was definitely a good thing, but she hadn’t forgotten about April. And while Sterling was positive she was attracted to both boys and girls, she wasn’t upset when she broke up with Luke, even though they were together for six years. But the sudden end of her short-lived relationship with April left Sterling’s heart in shambles.</p><p>And if that wasn’t bad enough, she kissed Luke! Sterling hadn’t meant to, not really. What she actually wanted was to stop him from asking out April because the only thing worse than not being able to kiss April anymore, was the thought of Luke kissing April. Sterling knew April only crushed on girls, but she had a feeling April might date a guy to hide the truth.</p><p>Sterling needed to sit down and when she finally did, during their car ride home, she didn’t talk. Not that she had to because her mother – not her biological one, but still her mother no matter what – went on a rant of how much she loved both of her daughters and how tonight’s events didn’t change the fact Sterling was hers.</p><p>“Do we still have the same birthday?” Blair questioned. “Was I born first? Oh and, when did Sterl and I first meet?”</p><p>“Let your mother breathe for a minute, Blair,” their father interrupted with a gentle tone.</p><p>“Yes, sir,” Blair relented, slouching against the back of her seat. </p><p>“Your daddy and I know you have a lot of questions,” their mother said while she turned around, eying Sterling and Blair, “and we will explain everything.”</p><p>Sterling lowered the window and rested her elbow on top. A gentle breeze blew through her hair while tonight’s events played through her mind on a loop. It was a lot to process, more than she felt she could handle, but she had to live with it either way.</p><p>“Should we be mad?” Blair asked Sterling through their not so twin-telepathy. “I think I’m mad, but I’m also curious and confused,” Blair continued. “Our parents kept a huge secret from us and yes, we are keeping a secret from them too, but that’s totally different.”</p><p>Perhaps if Sterling confessed to being a bounty hunter, she could ease some of the weight resting on her shoulders, but that idea flew out of the window faster than her phone did when Dana snatched it away from her. Dang, she had pictures on there she forgot to save to her cloud!</p><p>No, her double life as a bounty hunter had to stay a secret. Sterling loved being a bounty hunter and so did Blair, and they were really good at it; Bowser said so himself. Not in those exact words, but he did tell their parents they were good. Sterling decided to keep her lips sealed because the last thing she needed was to lose that part of her life, too.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Snippets of memories flashed through April’s mind. She hated the fact she turned away when every fiber in her body was drawn to Sterling. Breaking things off and seeing that hurt look on Sterling’s face was seared into April’s brain. But she felt she made the right choice, the<em> only</em> choice. The world was harsh on anyone who was different and her parents were raging homophobes who would never accept their precious daughter being a lesbian.</p><p>April wished she could be as brave as Sterling, for even a fraction. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. April didn’t want her parents to resent her, not while she lived under their roof and depended on them. Besides, her mother went through enough already thanks to her father. And if her father didn’t blink beating up a hooker, who knew what he would do to April if he found out the truth?</p><p>The thought of coming out absolutely terrified April. She couldn’t risk anyone finding out. She trusted Sterling enough to know she wouldn’t out her, but what worried April was the knowledge Sterling told that obnoxious sister of hers, who hated April’s guts. Sterling claimed Blair didn’t hate April, but she knew better because the last time they had Spanish class together, Blair snapped at April. Apparently, the fact Sterling was laughing completely went over the older twin’s head.</p><p>God, April missed that laugh. She missed the brightness in Sterling’s eyes and the way they sparkled when she smiled. April’s stomach gnawed. She wanted to text Sterling, ask her if she was okay, but April was the last person who had a right to know.</p><p>“Hey,” Luke spoke when he returned to April’s side after she saw him talk to the band kids. “Sterling and I are back together,” Luke announced with that dorky grin of his. He reminded April of a puppy, the riddled with fleas kind. “We kissed,” Luke declared.</p><p>“When did I ask!?” April bit out before she could swallow it down to the pit of her stomach, along with her heart. “Ask for an extra pillow,” April attached with a forced smile.</p><p>A second later, her eyes hardened. “Because I can’t sleep on the floor unless I have two,” April explained while she faintly hoped Luke would shut his pretty mouth.</p><p>“Do you want my pillow?” Hannah B offered. “I have back problems anyway, it doesn’t make a difference.”</p><p>“Girl,” Ezekiel said while he fixed Hannah B with a look, “you should get your head checked.”</p><p>April pursed her lips together. Hannah B was a pushover who desperately needed to grow a spine. “No,” April sighed, “I changed my mind.”</p><p>The smile on Luke’s face stayed while he typed out messages on his phone. Luke wasn’t the brightest bulb, but he wasn’t a liar, which meant he did kiss Sterling and vice versa. April thought Sterling was upset, although clearly she moved on fast, right back to her ex. But it was what April deserved for not being strong.</p><p>Sleep refused to come and as Luke kept talking, April silently prayed for him to stop torturing her. Tonight wasn’t a good time to be nice and to be his friend. There were worse guys than Luke, but April didn’t want any guy – or girl – with Sterling. Not right now when the wound was still fresh, at least.</p><p>After an hour or perhaps longer, Luke stopped smiling altogether.</p><p>“Sterling hasn’t answered any of my messages,” Luke shared with a frown. “Should I give her space again?”</p><p>April shot upright. “People are trying to sleep, Luke,” she whispered, glancing over the bodies of their peers. “Maybe she is too,” she reasoned, but at the same time, she had a bad feeling in her gut.</p><p>When did breathing become such a struggle?</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“You haven’t said a word since we got home,” Blair whispered, cutting through the silence. “And you completely ignored me in the car.”</p><p>Sterling rolled over so she could face her sister. “I kissed Luke.”</p><p>“You kissed Luke?” Blair repeated, eyes wide one moment and frowning the next. “I thought you were hooking up with your former arch-nemesis?”</p><p>Tears welled up in Sterling’s eyes. “I caught her flirting with Luke at the lock-in, or at least it looked like she was. And she said she was going to save me a spot, but then she didn’t, and she embarrassed me in front of others so I tried to leave and…and,” she explained, hiccupping, “she broke up with me.”</p><p>“Oh, Sterl...,” Blair sighed softly, snuggling closer.</p><p>“All I wanted was to hold hands, is that too much to ask?”</p><p>“Fuck her,” Blair replied with a scoff. “She’s not good enough for you anyway.”</p><p>“Language,” Sterling pointed out.</p><p>Sterling let her tears flow freely while Blair held her, finding comfort knowing at least their relationship was unbreakable, despite the bomb Dana dropped. The thought Dana abducted her for another reason than to ask for ransom, scared Sterling. She didn’t want her evil bio mom to come between her and the only family she ever knew.</p><p>Footsteps came up the steps, close to their door. Sterling saw a shadow, but there was no knock and nobody opened the door. A couple of seconds later, the footsteps retrieved down the hall. Sterling felt kind of bad for her radio silence toward her parents, but the truth was a lot to take in, and while she loved them unconditionally, she also wanted to scream at them for having lied to her for the past sixteen years, eleven months, and two weeks.</p><p>Blair’s phone lit up and when she looked at the text, she groaned and tossed her phone aside. “I don’t need your apology,” she mumbled under her breath, “or your excuses.”</p><p>Sterling bit her lip. While she was with April, she hardly paid attention to her sister, which ruined what Blair had with Miles. If Sterling could go back to that night, she would do things differently and she would have been there to do her job instead of making out with April.</p><p>“How did it go with Miles?” Sterling pondered.</p><p>“I professed my feelings for him in front of his family, who had no idea who I am because it turns out he’s ashamed of me more than I felt ashamed of myself. So basically, I’m fine and ready to never fall in love again.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The petals of a red rose twirled toward the grass, one by one. April released another from between her fingertips while her left hand tightened around the thorns. Her skin pleaded for a softer grip, but she had to feel something on the outside to combat the pain she felt on the inside.</p><p>“I should call her,” April whispered, plucking at another petal, the second to last one. “I…shouldn’t…I shouldn’t call her,” she breathed out. She grasped the wooden surface of the bench she sat on, anything for something to hold on to.</p><p>The odds were stacked against them from the start. If April crossed the line again, she would have to hurt Sterling again. And if Sterling wasn’t safe at home in her bed, Blair would have been here by now, looking for her. Maybe April was overthinking too much to have an excuse to reach out.</p><p>“What should I do, God?” April questioned, peering up at the sky for a second before she hung her head. “Can you give me a sign? I’m lost.”</p><p>April tried picturing what it would be like to tell people she was a lesbian. The more she thought about it, the more she felt she would be spat on. It didn’t matter if times changed because bigots didn’t. She wasn’t ready to walk through the halls and keep her head up high while others called her a fag. There was no place for her in the community unless she locked up her desires.</p><p>“Oh goodness, sweetheart,” Ellen uttered suddenly. April hadn’t heard or seen her approach and hoped she wasn’t in trouble. “Your hand,” Ellen said while she pried the flower from April’s fingers.</p><p>“Oh, it’s nothing,” April responded, smiling as she moved away from Ellen’s concerned stare.</p><p>April wasn’t worried about the palm of her hand. It was just a few scrapes, similar to when she used to scrape her knees as a kid. The wound that needed tending to wasn’t visible to anyone but herself.</p><p>“Can’t sleep, hm?” Ellen noted, sitting down on the other side of the bench. “Are you feeling homesick?”</p><p>April’s eyes stung, but she refused to tear up. “Yes,” she answered, jaw clicking. “Just a little homesick.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sterling stirred her spoon through her porridge. She scooped up some of her gooey tasteless breakfast, turned her spoon sideways, and sighed while she watched it drip back into her bowl.</p><p>“Pancakes?” Blair scoffed at the stacked goods resting on a plate in the middle of the table. “This isn’t making anything better, mom.”</p><p>“You have to eat something,” their mother insisted. “Both of you.”</p><p>Blair crossed her arms. “You owe us an explanation,” she demanded, lifting one leg up on her chair.</p><p>Blair had a point. Sterling blinked and dropped her spoon. “Who’s my father?” she questioned, breathing shallowly. “My biological father,” she clarified, glancing away from the only father she knew her whole life. “Is it Levi?”</p><p>Their mother ran a hand through her hair. “I don’t know,” she answered with a deep sigh. She sat down in front of Sterling and reached across the table for her hand while reaching for Blair’s with the other. “Dana never told me,” their mother continued, rolling her lips into her mouth. “I didn’t even know she was pregnant until she showed up on our doorstep one night, asking for help. She was on the run and didn’t want to raise a child.”</p><p>Sterling swallowed while her father placed a hand on their mother’s right shoulder.</p><p>“You were born on the same day,” their father explained. “Mere minutes apart.”</p><p>“Am I the oldest?” Blair queried. “Or was that a lie, too?”</p><p>“You were born first,” their father confirmed.</p><p>“Your daddy and I decided to raise both of you, as twins,” their mother shared. “We adopted you,” she told Sterling, “and in exchange, we helped Dana. She promised she would stay away from you. She knew how much your connection with Blair means to you.”</p><p>“You should have told us,” Sterling uttered, pulling her hand away. “We have to go to work.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Blair chimed in. “Bowser needs us.”</p><p>Sterling didn’t bother to listen anymore when their parents started arguing about now not being the time for them to go to work. She caught something along the lines of taking a break right before she headed out the door with her sister. Going back in less than twelve hours after having been abducted seemed fast, but Sterling needed the space.</p><p>Blair hopped into the driver’s seat. “So…,” she said, rapping her fingers on the wheel, “what do you want to listen to?”</p><p>Sterling fastened her seatbelt. “Anything but slow burn,” she responded, officially never wanting to hear that song again. “I don’t mind if you want to listen to metal,” she expressed with a shrug. “I think I’m dead inside anyway.”</p><p>“I know the feeling,” Blair mumbled while she tinkered with the radio.</p><p>“Hey,” Blair spoke when she started the car and ‘die motherfucker die’ blasted through the radio. “If we happen to pass by April, can I run her over?”</p><p>If Blair wanted to run someone over, it should be Sterling, to knock some sense into her. Despite everything, her feelings for April weren’t gone, and the craziest part was the fact Sterling would push April out of the way if a car was about to hit her, to make sure she was safe. God, why was Sterling so hung up on a girl who spent years being mean to her?</p><p>“I’ll deal with April,” Sterling answered, though knowing Blair, she wasn’t going to stay out of it that easily. “Promise me you won’t do anything reckless to take revenge.”</p><p>“I’m not going to out her or anything if that’s what you’re thinking, Sterl,” Blair scoffed. “I’m not an asshole. Twin-” she paused and pulled the car aside.</p><p>Sterling locked her pinkie around her sister’s. “Twin-swear,” she spoke, strong and confident.</p><p>Blair cracked a smile. “Twin-swear,” she repeated. “But if we run into Miles, I might run him over.”</p><p>Sterling doubted her sister would do such a thing, although Blair was intense when she got mad.</p><p>When they arrived at Yogurtopia, Bowser stood in front of the door with a suitcase, twisting the key in the lock.</p><p>“Girls,” Bowser said, frowning at them. “What are you two doing here?”</p><p>“We came here to work,” Blair answered, slamming the door of the car shut. “We’re not still fired, are we?”</p><p>Sterling placed her hands on her hips. “Are you going somewhere?” she pondered, tapping her foot against the pavement while she glanced at Bowser’s luggage.</p><p>It looked like Bowser was ready to skip town, which would suck. Sterling couldn’t take another blow when she was already processing more than she felt she could handle. She relied on this job to offer her a distraction from the mess that was her life right now.</p><p>“I don’t have a skip today,” Bowser announced. “I was thinking about going away for a short while, but I changed my mind. Anywho, you’re not on my schedule today. I think you should take a break.”</p><p>“What?” Blair exclaimed. “We can’t take a break. Come on, we love this job.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Sterling chimed in, “we need this.”</p><p>“What she said,” Blair nodded. “Come on, Bowsie wowsie.”</p><p>“Fine,” Bowser grunted. “But only if you never call me that again,” he added, raising his index finger at them. “And what’s with the matching getup? Y’all look like a couple of burglars.”</p><p>Sterling’s eyes shifted between her sister’s skinny yeans and Slipknot tee, and the black leggings and black shirt she threw on this morning. They didn’t usually do the matching thing, like ever, but in light of the recent events, they decided to strengthen their connection and try something different. And Blair refused to wear any color other than black today.</p><p>“We’re mourning the end of an era,” Sterling answered while she held her sister’s hand and pressed the other close to her chest.</p><p>“Yes,” Blair agreed, squeezing Sterling’s hand. “These are tragic times,” Blair mused, resting the back of her other hand against her forehead.</p><p>“I had to ask,” Bowser mumbled to himself just loud enough for Sterling to hear, shaking his head. “Go get changed and meet me in an hour. I’ll go talk to Yolanda.”</p><p>Blair sighed. “I can’t believe I look this great and nobody’s here to see it.”</p><p>“You so do,” Sterling agreed, smiling. “You totally rock that black eyeliner.”</p><p>“Oh my god, I was about to say the same thing to you.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April stuffed her pajamas in her backpack. Arriving in them in the dark was one thing, but there was no way she was going home like that in broad daylight. Then again, her outfit wasn’t the problem. She dreaded the thought of going home where she had to hear her mother cry while her father voiced one excuse after the other, while April waited for the other shoe the drop where one of her parents would tell her they were getting a divorce. It seemed inevitable given the circumstances.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Hannah B asked. “Your aura looks sad.”</p><p>“I’m fine,” April replied, pulling the hoodie of her jacket over her head.</p><p>“Don’t poke the bear,” Ezekiel hushed, elbowing Hannah B, “you know what’s going on with her dad.”</p><p>April yanked her zipper about halfway up. Her friends had no idea what went on in her head because their friendship didn’t include her talking about her thoughts and feelings. She pretty much stopped sharing those when Sterling quit being her friend in the fifth grade. The betrayal hit too hard for April to trust anyone with things that mattered. She couldn’t give anyone any leverage against her.</p><p>During the short time where she got close with Sterling again, April had started to open up to her. It was so dang easy to talk to her, even before they kissed. Sterling was genuinely sweet and caring, and she was the only one who asked April if she was okay when her father was in prison.</p><p>Hannah B and Ezekiel proved they were quick to ditch April whenever she went through a rough patch. Although partnering up with Sterling to build Solomon’s Temple went much better than she expected. Definitely better than the cardboard cross Hannah B and Ezekiel dared to show up with.</p><p>“I’ll see you on Monday,” April said with a smile she didn’t mean.</p><p>“Should I drive you…?” Hannah B questioned, wringing her hands together. “Or…?”</p><p>April didn’t have the patience for Hannah B’s awkwardness, which was frankly put sad. “I’ll walk,” April decided, and with that, she left her friends who whispered as soon as she turned around.</p><p>It took April roughly fifty-three minutes to get home. The table was all set and while she wasn’t the slightest bit hungry, she sat down at the table anyway, to avoid questions. If she obeyed and kept her head down as much as possible, she wouldn’t create more tension than there already was.  </p><p>“Did you have fun at the lock-in, princess?”</p><p>For a split second, April forgot about the wrongs her father did. In that short glimpse, he sounded and acted like his old self, but everything had changed. Her mother sat at the other end of the table, the furthest away from her father as she could possibly get. April’s heart ached painfully while her mother stared blankly ahead of her with empty eyes, reminding her of the ruins her father created.</p><p>April wanted to yell at her father, ask him why her mother wasn’t enough for him. Did the vows they made at their wedding mean nothing to him? She hated how aside from love, she now also felt hate toward her father. Everyone at school knew what her father did and now that he was no longer in prison, April worried the rumors would get worse.</p><p>“I had pizza,” April answered with a tight-lipped smile, which wasn’t a lie.</p><p>Truthfully, April wanted to forget last night, shove it all down and bury it there. Her throat closed up at the memories, at denying Sterling’s request of holding her hand. It sounded so easy in theory, but God, it wasn’t simple at all. Everyone would talk and ask questions, and turn their lives into hell. Sterling, bless her heart, was too naïve to understand the weight of coming out, of taking things public.</p><p>April’s father gasped. Oh God, did she say any of that out loud?</p><p>“And you didn’t save me a slice?” her father spoke, smiling at her, fueling the fire.</p><p>April swallowed at the sudden urge to slap her father in the face. She knew exactly what he was doing, but as far as she was concerned, he shouldn’t have been dumb enough to get caught. Ignorance would have spared her mother a lot of pain and wouldn’t have destroyed the image April had of him. The image where her father was kind and read stories to her.</p><p>“I’m a little tired,” April whispered, hoping to get excused from the table.</p><p>“You should get some rest,” her father replied, patting the top of April’s head.</p><p>April shoved her chair back and she was about halfway to her bedroom when her father asked her another question.</p><p>“Are those Wesley girls still your enemies?”</p><p>April stood with her back directed at her father, frozen in place. She slowly worked her jaw while her heart sped up. “Yes, daddy,” she told him calmly, “sworn enemies since the fifth grade, why?”</p><p>“There’s something you should know about them.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling leaned against the hood of the car while Blair waited inside, in case she needed moral support. She would have been fine coming to school on her own, but she knew her sister struggled to be apart from her out of fear Sterling would get abducted again and possibly disappear forever.</p><p>“Hey!” Luke called out as he ran onto the parking lot. “I didn’t see you at school today and you haven’t responded to any of my texts,” he said breathily, stopping short in front of her.</p><p>“I um, lost my phone,” Sterling replied, taking a step away from the car, toward Luke. “And I’m sort of dealing with a family thing,” she explained, chewing the inside of her cheek.</p><p>Sterling didn’t want to get into the details and that wasn’t why she came to school, so she quickly cleared her throat. “I want to apologize to you for Friday night,” she began, watching while the expression on Luke’s face shifted from confusion to understanding. “I kissed you and I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.”</p><p>“You were upset about something,” Luke recalled, nodding.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Sterling voiced again because she really meant it, what she did wasn’t cool. “Friends?” she offered, holding out her right hand.</p><p>“I…eh, I guess so,” Luke replied, scratching the back of his head. “I’m a bit confused, Sterli.”</p><p>“I know, I know, and it’s my fault. I’ll understand if you need space or if you don’t want to be friends.”</p><p>“Of course I’ll be your friend. I’ll always have your back.”</p><p>“You’re a good guy, Luke,” Sterling smiled. “And you’re going to meet an amazing girl someday.”</p><p>“About that…” Luke shifted on his feet. “Is it cool if I ask out April? She’s been kind to me and she liked my sleeping bag.”</p><p>Sterling inhaled a sharp breath and her eyes widened for a second. “Yes, you should ask her,” she nodded, but her heart lurched at the thought of April’s tender lips being touched by someone else.</p><p>When Luke left, Sterling told Blair to give her five minutes, promising to stay in sight. Slowing her breath before she started crying, Sterling plopped down onto the bench. But then she remembered last time she was on there, next to April, and she had to go.</p><p>Sterling got up and wrapped her arms around herself. She couldn’t get away fast enough until she heard a familiar voice.</p><p>“Where are you leaving to in such a hurry?”</p><p>“I have work,” Sterling answered, a little too fast.  “We’re combining new flavors of yogurt,” she added, and while she didn’t owe April anything, it hurt to lie to her.</p><p>“Be careful it…it’ll be dark out soon.”</p><p>“Why do you care?” Sterling scoffed, facing the shorter girl. “As far as I’m concerned, we’re back to being enemies.”</p><p>April took a beat, mouth ever so slightly ajar. “Do you really mean that?”</p><p>The vulnerability in April’s voice sliced right through Sterling’s heart like a knife through hot butter. She couldn’t bring herself to look April in the eyes and answer that question.</p><p>“How could you flirt with Luke right in front of me?” Sterling shot back, and she hated how her voice cracked in the middle. “That hurt, April.”</p><p>“Well, at least I didn’t kiss him,” April retorted. Her voice came out just as bad as Sterling’s had, but Sterling didn’t stop to register what that meant.</p><p>“We weren’t together when I kissed him!” Sterling all but shouted, louder than she had wanted to. She glanced sideways to check if anyone heard and noticed April doing the same. “But we were when you flirted with him,” Sterling pointed out in a much lower tone. “Or at least I thought we were.”</p><p>Sterling wanted to shove April or jab at her with her finger, but she refused to lose control of her emotions more than she already had.</p><p>“I don’t want to fight with you, Sterl.”</p><p>“Good because I’m leaving,” Sterling huffed, immediately putting her actions where her mouth was.  </p><p>“I miss you and the way you twirl your hair when you’re lost in your thoughts.”</p><p>There was a gentleness in April’s voice that pulled Sterling back to their first date. The honesty in those words chipped at the wall Sterling so desperately tried to pull up to shut April out.</p><p>Sterling stopped in her tracks. “Try sitting behind me,” she sighed out, sparing a small smile. “You touch your hair all the time, it’s quite distracting.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m distracting?” April challenged with that killer smile of hers.</p><p>Sterling forgot to breathe when April stepped into her space. “When you’re this close to me, all I want to do is kiss you,” Sterling confessed in a whisper, and she knew she would regret it as soon as those words left her mouth.</p><p>But it was the truth and Sterling wasn’t going to stand there and lie to April. Especially not after April admitted she missed her, toying with Sterling’s heart when April made it very clear that she didn’t want this. Sterling caught April looking at her hand and if April reached out to hold it, Sterling might just let her and give their relationship a second chance.</p><p>All April had to do was touch her. How difficult could that be? Sterling was right there in front of her.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” April uttered, barely audible. “I can’t,” she spoke, backing off.</p><p>“Can’t?” Sterling voiced, doing her best not to cry. “Or won’t?”</p><p>“Sterl…,” April whispered, fingertips hovering close to Sterling’s jaw, but then she took in their surroundings and dropped her hand like a hot piece of coal. “My father-”</p><p>“You’re not the only one with issues, April!” Sterling lashed out in a moment that got away from her. “At least you didn’t get abducted and held at gunpoint by a criminal who turns out to be my biological mother.”</p><p>April’s jaw dropped.</p><p>“Fuck,” Sterling mumbled, burying her hands in her hair. “I…I have to go. Bye.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I've decided not to fix Blair/Miles. I gave it some thought and I think breaking up was what was best for them.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>April would camp out in Sterling’s yard if that was what it took to get to talk to her. Sterling dropped scary news and ran off, which scared April more. She needed to know Sterling was okay. April wondered if the abduction took place during the lock-in, where she left Sterling alone, outside, assuming she would text that obnoxious sister of hers to pick her up. The sister who didn’t show up at the lock-in for some unknown reason.</p><p>The first place April checked was that yogurt shop where Sterling worked, but it was closed. She had asked Hannah B to drop her off there under the guise her blood sugar felt a little low. And now April waited in front of the Wesleys’ house, where Sterling and Blair’s car was absent, holding the empty wrapper of a waffle, which Hannah B had thrust in her hands before leaving her at Yogurtopia after April insisted she could walk from there.</p><p>On her way to Sterling’s home, April grew hungry and ate the waffle. As someone strictly opposed to littering, she had no choice but to hold on to the plastic. She stayed away from the windows, chewing her lip at the risk of getting caught. An hour passed, and then another.</p><p>By the time that dang car rolled onto the driveway, April was half ready to yell at Sterling for worrying her half to death.</p><p>“Oh my God, April!” Sterling jumped when April came out of the bushes.</p><p>Blair narrowed her eyes. “What the hell are you doing here?” she grumbled, arms crossed. “Want me to run her over now?” she whispered to her sister.</p><p>April contained a roll of her eyes. With the little information that was shouted at her earlier, she didn’t know if Sterling and Blair were actually twins. They weren’t identical, although the co-dependency was crazy strong with those two.</p><p>“We need to talk,” April insisted. “And I’m not going anywhere until we do,” she spoke firmly, putting her foot down.</p><p>“Leave,” Blair growled lowly, pointing her finger toward the street. “Leave,” she repeated, “or I’ll-”</p><p>“Blair,” Sterling interrupted. “Can you cover for me?”</p><p>April released a breath she didn’t know she was holding. In her relief, she took Sterling’s hand in hers. It was a mistake and a moment of weakness and the slap on her fingers came when Sterling pulled her hand away.</p><p>Blair scoffed. “Seriously?”</p><p>Sterling spoke to Blair with only her eyes, which had the older twin relent in a matter of seconds. April couldn’t blame her for not being immune to those doe eyes. They were so infectious, Sterling could ask April for her soul, and she might just surrender it to her.</p><p>April sank into her thoughts, but abruptly got pulled away from them, rather literally, when Sterling grasped her hand and tugged. The touch burned right through April. It felt warm and familiar at first, but then it felt cold and empty. She wished she had the freedom to hold Sterling’s hand whenever she wanted to if only she wasn’t held back by the other people in her life.</p><p>Sterling led April up to her room, much to April’s horror and shock. The absolute last thing she needed right now was to get caught in Sterling’s bedroom by Mr. Wesley or Mrs. Wesley and have them call her parents. April had to take steadying breaths to focus rather than freak out.</p><p>“Those BTS posters aren’t mine,” Sterling shared with a chuckle, gesturing at the wall.</p><p>“I’m not here to see your room, Sterl,” April responded with a smile, feeling a bit more at ease. “Although I may have dreamed of being here someday,” she admitted, sighing softly as she sat down on Sterling’s bed.</p><p>Sterling moved to sit next to April, their thighs nearly touching. “Where do your parents think you are?” Sterling queried, gazing into April’s eyes.</p><p>“They think I’m at the library, studying for my Spanish oral exam.”</p><p>“An oral exam, hm?” Sterling mused, lifting her hand and running her fingers through April’s hair. “I think you’ve studied that part plenty.”</p><p>April guffawed, albeit quietly and lightly smacked Sterling on the arm.</p><p>“Quit distracting me,” April pointed out, pleased to prove Sterling did most of the distracting, rather than the other way around like Sterling claimed.</p><p>Sterling held up her hands. “Don’t look at me. You started it when you brought up the dream.”</p><p><em>Dreams</em>, plural, was a more accurate term, but April kept that part to herself.</p><p>“About earlier,” April began, sadly having to burst the bubble. “What happened?”</p><p>Sterling sucked in a shuddering breath. She tucked her hair behind her ears a couple of times and finally placed her hands in her lap. April hated seeing her struggle like that and she didn’t mean to poke around in Sterling’s wounds, but she had to know Sterling would be okay.</p><p>April glanced at the door, throat tight. She hoped that whatever it was Blair did to cover for them worked, so she could have this private moment with Sterling without getting in trouble. On top of worrying about getting caught, April feared Sterling getting punished.</p><p>“Promise me you won’t tell anyone,” Sterling pleaded, eyes glistening with tears. “No matter how angry you might be at me in the future.”</p><p>April had a strong feeling she knew why Sterling worried about her getting mad at her, and while it was a valid reason, it was complicated. She wasn’t sure yet how to feel about Sterling being responsible for her father going to prison. April had trouble processing the fact Sterling hit her father with a gun.</p><p>“Cross my heart,” April replied, moving her finger across her chest, noticing the way Sterling’s eyes followed.</p><p>“It all started Friday night…I texted Blair to pick me up and then my mother arrived, in her pick-up truck. But she acted differently and drove in another direction…”</p><p>April barely breathed while Sterling relayed the abduction to her. Sterling mentioned how Blair was actually her cousin, but how they promised each other to stay sisters. April listened as Sterling talked about Dana and by the time Sterling’s story ended, tears rolled down Sterling’s cheeks.</p><p>April wrapped her arms around Sterling, rubbing her back as Sterling sank into the embrace.</p><p>“You’re okay,” April whispered, kissing the top of Sterling’s head, “you’re safe now.”</p><p>“Don’t let go yet.”</p><p>April’s chest ached. Her heart felt splintered because she never wanted to let go, she wanted so badly to be able to say ‘I got you,’ but reality didn’t allow her to. In a different world, she would have held Sterling all night long, dried all of her tears while telling her she was going to get through this.</p><p>For a moment, neither of them moved, but then the door swung open.</p><p>April let go so fast, she stumbled out of Sterling’s bed. Her eyes were round, beads of sweat coated her forehead, and her heart constricted in her chest.</p><p>“What’s taking so…,” Blair trailed off, staring from April on the floor to Sterling on the bed. “You have to go,” Blair said to April, giving her arm a strong tug.</p><p>Blair muttered something about not covering just so they could make out while she practically shoved April out of the room.</p><p>“Dad’s gone to the drugstore and mom’s taking a shower,” Blair explained when Sterling pried her hands away from April. “Now’s your window to leave,” Blair informed. “If you hurry, you might get home around nine.”</p><p>April choked on air. “Nine?” she uttered, seeing her life flash before her eyes.</p><p>The library closed at eight, which meant April spent way longer in Sterling’s room than she thought she did. It felt like twenty minutes, half an hour maybe, when in reality it was two whole hours. The walking distance between the library and April’s home was twenty-seven minutes, something her parents would know.</p><p>“Yeah,” Blair confirmed. “It’s…,” she said as she unlocked her phone, “eight o-five.”</p><p>“Hey, um,” Sterling cut in, twirling a lock of her hair. Dried up tears stuck to her cheeks, along with parts of her mascara that ran out. “Maybe we should give April a ride home to make sure she doesn’t throw rocks at our window later tonight,” she chuckled dryly, rolling her eyes. “We could say we were supposed to lock up the store and forgot.”</p><p>Blair eyed her sister.</p><p>Meanwhile, April calculated how fast she could get home if she ran most of the way. Perhaps getting in trouble with her parents was God’s way of punishing her for lying.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Blair uttered, parking the car after mowing over one of their mother’s new garden gnomes. “Want to tell me why I spent eleven minutes driving around Miss Daisy?”</p><p>“Because I made you stop so we could help that sweet old lady cross the street?” Sterling responded while she checked her Instagram on her sister’s phone, which she had to borrow for now until she got a new phone.</p><p>Sterling meant to buy one, but she kept forgetting due to certain distractions. There was enough money hidden in Blair’s pillow from the skips they caught to afford nice things, although thinking about it, Sterling realized they needed a better place to keep it all.</p><p>“She gave us gum,” Blair nodded, “so sweet.”</p><p>“But that’s not my point,” Blair added, shaking her head. “And what was she doing in your bed?”</p><p>Sterling opened her mouth, but her sister beat her to it. “Did you see how high she jumped when I walked in?” Blair laughed as they got out of the car.</p><p>“That’s not funny, Blair,” Sterling sighed because as much as she wished she could look back at that moment and laugh, she couldn’t. She never saw that kind of fear in April’s eyes. “She comforted me and now we’ll go back to being enemies because nothing has changed.”</p><p>Dropping off April wasn’t part of Sterling’s plan tonight, but it was the least she could do. She couldn’t let April walk home when the library had already closed and would unravel her lie. April didn’t voice it, but it was obvious to Sterling she stayed longer than she intended to.</p><p>Sterling kneeled next to the broken gnome. “If we glue the pieces together, mom might not notice,” she suggested, looking up at her sister.</p><p>“You can’t fix what’s broken, Sterl,” Blair responded, pushing the tip of her shoe against the cracked red hat.</p><p>As she stood back up to get inside, Sterling knew her sister was talking about more than garden decorations. Blair was right, which was precisely why Sterling told April she didn’t know when April told her ‘<em>maybe someday.</em>’</p><p>April couldn’t expect Sterling to wait around for something that might never happen. Ironically, that seemed to be exactly why April broke up with her; because April knew she couldn’t take their relationship any further. In that aspect, it was the right move, but it was also a dang painful one.</p><p>At least this night felt more like closure than Friday night did. And that hug was nice. Sterling had wanted to kiss April, to ignite that spark between them which she felt never left, but she fought her desires. She had to move on, just like April would and might soon with Luke, who was set on asking April out on a date.</p><p>“What did you do to cover for me?” Sterling pondered aloud, knowing Blair wasn’t keen on spending time with their parents all by herself.</p><p>“We watched a documentary,” Blair answered with a groan. “It was torture. They made me sit in the middle. In the middle, Sterl! While you were in our room, waiting for April to climb you like a tree.”</p><p>Sterling gasped. “Did I talk in my sleep last night?” she whispered, feeling her cheeks heat up.</p><p>“You had a sex dream?” Blair responded, mouth dropping open. “I hate you,” she huffed, opening the front door.</p><p>“Blair, I had a sex dream about my ex…,” Sterling silently pointed out. “I pretty much hate myself right now.”</p><p>It was an interesting dream, but without being able to turn it into reality, it was torture for Sterling. Those luscious lips were no longer hers to kiss and she couldn’t shamelessly stare down April’s blouse anymore. April was officially forbidden fruit and oh God, that only turned Sterling on more. What was wrong with her?</p><p>“Girls, there you are,” their father breathed out. “Your mother and I want to talk to you.”</p><p>“Yawn, so tired,” Blair mumbled around the worst attempt of a yawn ever, stretching out her arms.</p><p>“Mhmm, yeah, me too,” Sterling copied, waving her hand in front of her mouth. “So sleepy, so little time.”</p><p>“We want to talk about your upcoming birthday,” their mother spoke up as she approached. “Your daddy and I thought you might want a party.”</p><p>“Wait,” Blair whispered, face shifting from one of boredom to one with a twinkle in her eyes. “A party? Like an actual party with a Dj?”</p><p>“No, not that kind of party,” their mother answered. “But I could bake a pie and you can invite a couple of friends.”</p><p>Sterling zoned out pretty quickly after that. Her thoughts slipped back to April and the one thing she couldn’t put her finger on was why April wanted her to be careful because it would be dark out soon, before Sterling mentioned the abduction. It was too random to ignore or to brush it off like it was nothing.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April ran her hand through her hair, brushing it over her shoulder. She slid her hair-tie from her wrist, gathered her hair, and secured her ponytail. She liked how smooth it felt, especially now that she had a new coconut shampoo, which added volume and a lovely smell.</p><p>But then she recalled Sterling mentioning it distracted her, so April stopped. She was used to playing with her hair, but she didn’t want Sterling to think she did it on purpose. The hug they shared was engraved in April’s memories, branded there to never be forgotten. Part of her wished they could go back, play Skee-Ball, and kiss while oblivious strangers played laser tag.</p><p>Sterling was ready to shout it from the rooftops and her confidence, while admirable, was too much. April wasn’t on the same level as her. She couldn’t tell anyone because she couldn’t even tell her friends. April didn’t have a twin sister, or a cousin, who loved her unconditionally no matter what.</p><p>Señora O'Reilly instructed everyone to practice in duos. Without giving it a second thought, April turned around, facing her crush.</p><p>“I already partnered up with Blair,” Sterling announced, followed by Blair giving April a little wave, though April was certain there was one finger in particular Blair wanted to show her.</p><p>That car ride four days ago only made Blair detest April more, April was sure. None of them said a word and when April thanked the twins for dropping her off at the end of her street, Sterling gave a weak smile and Blair scoffed.</p><p>“You can partner with Luke,” Sterling suggested, “since you two are so close anyway.”</p><p>April swallowed her emotions down. She deserved the bite in Sterling’s tone and she knew they couldn’t team up and laugh like they used to. April knew her decision meant she had to sacrifice the only thing that made her feel alive. But maybe someday, she could be happy with someone and raise a family.</p><p>The idea of maybe helped April hold on to hope. Without a spark of hope, she had nothing.</p><p>With everybody partnered up, April had no choice but to sit with Luke. It wasn’t the end of the world, although his knowledge of Spanish could be the end of his passing grade.</p><p>“Hola,” Luke started. “¿Cómo estás <em>(how are you)</em>?”</p><p>“Hola,” April greeted back, sitting up straighter. “Soy buena y tu <em>(I’m good and you)</em>?”</p><p>“Eres bonita <em>(you’re pretty)</em>,” Luke said with his dorky smile. “Muy bonita <em>(very pretty)</em>.”</p><p>“Gracias <em>(thank you)</em>,” April replied, smiling back at him. “Creo que eres ... varonil <em>(I think you’re…manly)</em>.”</p><p>“¿Quien…quieres ir conmigo a una cita <em>(who…do you want to go on a date with me)</em>?”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Blair moved her head from left to right, wiggling her shoulders to the tunes of The Cure. Meanwhile, Sterling held her fist close to her mouth, using it as a microphone.</p><p>“Monday you can fall apart,” Blair sang, rapping her fingers onto the wheel in sync with each beat.</p><p>“Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart,” Sterling chimed in, shaking her head, moving her fist close to her sister.</p><p>“Oh Thursday doesn’t even start!” Blair continued, and then together they screamed, “It’s Friday, I’m in love!”</p><p>Sterling wasn’t in love with anyone, though she was getting there with April before it all ended in shambles. She never felt for Luke what she felt for April, having wasted six years on a relationship built on circumstance. Then again, Luke was a good first boyfriend for Sterling, and everything with him was familiar and easy, so dang easy.</p><p>But Sterling didn’t want to settle for something simple. Life was meant to be exhilarating, to excite her the way bounty hunting did. She wanted the intense orgasms and the desire to completely ravage someone.</p><p>“Let’s go get our next skip!” Blair all but cheered when they arrived.</p><p>“Yes!” Sterling agreed. “Let’s do this so I can try out my new gun.”</p><p>Blair rolled up her pants. “I can’t wait to kick in doors with these,” she smiled, showing off her combat boots.</p><p>Their enthusiasm lasted for about sixty seconds.</p><p>Standing around, waiting for customers to come into the shop sucked when there were skips to catch. But for some reason, Bowser took the night off. Well, as far as sitting in his office, moping around, counted as a night off. Sterling considered feigning a cold when someone on a motorcycle pulled up.</p><p>“Wow, sweet ride,” Blair whistled.</p><p>Sterling didn’t particularly care for motorcycles, but she knew her sister was dying to have one someday. Not that their parents would approve because according to them, those things were coffins on wheels.</p><p>Sterling dipped her spoon into her strawberry yogurt while she observed the daredevil. Said devil turned out to be a tall guy, shaking his wild curly locks as he took off his helmet. His leather jacket matched his black skinny jeans and the sunglasses he unfolded.</p><p>“Now that’s what I call a snack,” Blair commented, licking her lips.</p><p>“He’s coming in here,” Sterling noticed, dapping at the drool on her sister’s chin with a napkin. “Act natural,” Sterling whispered, tossing the tissue in the bin.</p><p>“Ahoy matey, what can I get you?” Blair spoke, leaning over the counter. “Yogurt? A tall glass of water? My phone number?”</p><p>The guy smiled at Blair, with dimpled cheeks. “I’m here for-”</p><p>“Spencer,” Bowser said, stepping out of his office. “You’re late.”</p><p>“You two know each other?” Sterling questioned.</p><p>“I got stuck in traffic, Uncle Bow.”</p><p>“Uncle?” Sterling noted with a gasp at the same time Blair snorted and said, “Bow?”</p><p>“You two must be Sterling and Blair,” the guy commented, flashing another smile. “I’m Spencer, but my friends call me Spence,” he shared, reaching out his hand.</p><p>Blair was the first to shake it. “I’m Blair, but you can call me tonight.”</p><p>“I should’ve gone to Florida,” Bowser grumbled.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'll be swamped this week, so it'll take a while to write the next chapter. (I'll see if it's ready by Sunday). </p><p>I hope you liked this one though! #Blencer ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Proverbs 23:20f,” April quoted, wrapping up her lecture on alcohol, “do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.”</p><p>April smiled while a few praised her for her leadership, but it all fell flat when she noticed Sterling sending thunder her way through her eyes. Sterling slipped up with alcohol once, everyone knew that, and perhaps Sterling thought April discussed the topic on purpose, but that wasn’t true. She didn’t judge Sterling for her mistakes, although she did come down on her hard when Sterling lost her virginity, with the goal of taking the position as fellowship leader from her. And in addition to that, she wanted to show everyone Sterling wasn’t the perfect angel she pretended to be.</p><p>It was a decision April regretted, but there was too much at stake and she needed it for her college application next year. She worked hard to be the picture-perfect student and the perfect daughter her father wanted. April didn’t have the time to tiptoe around Sterling’s feelings.</p><p>“Do not dance with the devil at parties, people,” April warned as her peers began to leave.</p><p>“Don’t worry about that,” Blair replied, “I’d never dance with you.”</p><p>“And you won’t be invited to our birthday party,” Sterling added before whispering something inaudible to her sister.</p><p>If that was meant to hurt, they sorely failed. April wasn’t planning on being there, even if by some odd turn of events she were to receive an invitation. Her father would never stand for her setting foot in that house and if he knew she already did, her life would be ruined. Last night, her father said Sterling and Blair would get what was coming to them someday. His hatred drove a chill down April’s spine.</p><p>April knew her father well enough to understand his stubbornness to hold on to a grudge. She was her father’s daughter, after all, for better or worse. Sterling and Blair were the criminals, in his eyes, even though ending up in prison was nobody’s fault but his own. April wanted her father to take responsibility and repent for his sins. What he did was wrong.</p><p>“I overheard Luke asking you out,” Sterling mentioned once everyone else had cleared out. “Are you two…going on a date?”</p><p>If April said yes, no matter the truth, she could push Sterling away and live with the fact that they would go back to being enemies, for real. A friendship between them wasn’t feasible when Blair couldn’t tolerate her existence while her father wished Sterling and Blair ill.</p><p>But Sterling’s eyes glistened and April couldn’t handle being responsible for her tears again, so she opted to be honest.</p><p>“I told him no,” April shared and she was aware it contradicted her behavior during the lock-in.</p><p>Sterling frowned. “Why?”</p><p>As if that wasn’t as clear as the brightest summer day. But of course Sterling had to ask. April would have too.</p><p>April fluttered her lashes. “You know why,” she spoke, sighing softly.</p><p>The thought of making out with a guy was beyond repulsive for April. And she already hurt Sterling enough, she didn’t have to cause her more pain by dating her ex, though that wasn’t to say she hadn’t considered it given what Sterling did. For a solid second or four, April explored the possibilities of saying yes to Luke.</p><p>Publicly establishing a relationship with a guy meant April could stay under the radar, but she didn’t want to live that kind of lie to hide her truth. Dating a guy also meant people would stop gossiping about her being too frigid or a bad kisser, though rumors were nothing but a web of lies. Ultimately, she didn’t want to force herself to push down her identity any farther than strictly necessary.</p><p>“How, err, how are you?” Sterling questioned, leaning against the back of the couch. “How are things with your father?”</p><p>“It’s…tough,” April answered, swallowing while she tidied up. “But it’s also none of your business, Sterling.”</p><p>“A-April,” Sterling whispered, blinking. “I thought…”</p><p>Sterling reached out for April’s hand, but she refused to let her.</p><p>“You thought wrong,” April replied icily.</p><p>Her words sliced through the air and when Sterling’s throat bobbed, April had to look away. Sterling wasn’t the only one who got hurt, but April didn’t have the freedom to wear her heart on her sleeve. They went back to being enemies, something Sterling ought to remember, although she seemed to recall just fine whenever Blair was around.</p><p>April worked her jaw. She felt like punching something for letting Sterling get under her skin, time and again.</p><p>“Why are you so mad at me?” Sterling questioned, touching April’s arm.</p><p>April backed Sterling into a corner and gripped her elbows, unsure whether she wanted to kiss her or yell at her for pretending to be clueless. But then Sterling moaned and as she bit her lip to drown out the rest, April let go. That sound intensified her desire to completely ravage Sterling and April had no doubt it would result in sleepless nights.</p><p>Sterling’s nipples poked through her blouse and she breathed funny, and when April opened her mouth to speak, no words came out. She tried to form a sentence, but she wasn’t sure what to say. Sterling was so close it hurt to be near her without being able to act on her feelings. So she walked away.</p><p>April walked out of the door without looking back. She kept going until she was home, in her room, where she took it out on her pillows.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“The only person I care about coming to my birthday is Spencer,” Blair shared with a heavy sigh. “And he can’t come because he has to study for his SATs.”</p><p>“Maybe we could get away with printing flyers with the wrong address,” Sterling suggested, though unlike her sister, she didn’t want to invite anyone at all.</p><p>There was nothing to celebrate and there was nothing special about turning seventeen. Sterling wasn’t in the mood for her parents’ gifts, which were bribes so she would forgive them. She understood why they felt they had no other choice, but they lied. For years, they pushed her to be the ‘good’ daughter while barely acknowledging Blair. Well, those days were over. So if Sterling wanted to drink and…puke out her liver, then that was her decision.</p><p>“Look at this picture Spence sent me,” Blair said, grinning while she unlocked her phone. “I can’t wait until he takes me for a spin.”</p><p>“No talking about no sex when I’m around,” Bowser grunted, shaking his head at both of them.</p><p>“Bowser, ew,” Blair replied, “I meant a spin on his motorcycle.”</p><p>“Yeah, Bowser,” Sterling chimed in. “That’s gross.”</p><p>Blair brought her index finger and her thumb together, making a circle, and moved two fingers from her other hand through it, while mouthing ‘yes, oh yes.’</p><p>Sterling nudged her sister just in time for her to stop before Bowser caught her through his rearview mirror.</p><p>“So, Bowser,” Blair spoke, clearing her throat. “Why didn’t you tell us you have a nephew?” she questioned, something Sterling wanted to know as well.</p><p>As far as Sterling knew, Bowser had an ex-wife and a mother who didn’t like his posts on Instagram – sunsets were so beautiful to look at! And then there was Yolanda, the one who got away, the woman Bowser was so obviously in love with, and the one he should have married instead. But Bowser never said anything about a nephew. And if he had a nephew, then he probably had a sister; the greatest gift in the world.</p><p>“Cause y’all too nosy,” Bowser explained in his usual grumpy grandpa manner.</p><p>“We’re not nosy,” Sterling disagreed.</p><p>“We’re curious,” Blair added, “because we care.”</p><p>“So do you have a sister?” Sterling queried.</p><p>“Or a brother,” Blair guessed.</p><p>“Girls!” Bowser interrupted. “We have a skip to catch. I don’t got time for no bedtime story.”</p><p>“Ugh, fine,” Blair sighed, whispering. “I’ll ask Spence.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Fellowship went without a hiccup until Sterling bumped into April and stepped on her toes. The taller girl didn’t even bother to look or form an apology, and it felt like it was on purpose.</p><p>“Watch where you’re going,” April warned in a low tone.</p><p>Sterling scoffed. “Speak for yourself.”</p><p>April crossed her arms across her chest. “You stepped on me,” she pointed out, eyes indignant.</p><p>Sterling leaned forward, bringing her lips close to April’s ear. At first, Sterling’s hot breath melted her anger, but then Sterling whispered, “You’d know all about stepping on people.”</p><p>Before April could physically shove Sterling away from her, Ellen stepped in. Ellen took Sterling by the arm and then April as well, guiding both of them to the couch while the others whispered and left.</p><p>“You two made such a wonderful team recently,” Ellen spoke. Her assessment wasn’t wrong, in all fairness. “I’m sure that with a little love, you two can be friends again. And to help you, I want you to look at each other, and name three things you like about each other.”</p><p>Only three things? If this was an assignment, it would be an easy A. April didn’t have to think long and hard to come up with a few things she liked about Sterling because even when she was angry, April couldn’t stop thinking about how much she wanted to be with her.</p><p>“Go on,” Ellen ushered, gesturing for them to make eye-contact.</p><p>“After you,” Sterling said sweetly, but there was a hint of disgust in her voice.</p><p>“No, after you,” April retorted, lifting a brow. “I,” she punctuated, “insist.”</p><p>Going first all the time didn’t have to be April’s thing and she was dying to hear what Sterling had to say. If Sterling still felt something for April, she did a good job hiding it, better than that night in Sterling’s room. April wanted Sterling to like her, but given all of the circumstances, it was better if they pretended nothing between them ever happened.</p><p>Coming out already wasn’t an option before April knew what Sterling did to her dad. If Sterling hadn’t done what she did, they might have had a shot someday.</p><p>“Fine,” Sterling sighed, narrowing her eyes. “I’ll go first.”</p><p>April mimicked Sterling’s movements and glared right back at her, though deep down she yearned to stare at Sterling like this every day.</p><p>“You’re good with tools,” Sterling complimented. “I wouldn’t have been able to build Solomon’s temple without you. The way you handled that wood, firm and smooth…” she explained, pausing to swallow. “…was impressive. You’re quite skilled with your hands.”</p><p>Sterling stared at April’s hands and then, ever so slowly, raked her eyes up April’s body.</p><p>For a split second, April almost snapped and shot forward to kiss Sterling. Instead, April took a beat to breathe and smiled thinly at Ellen, who thought she was quite the matchmaker. If only she knew how friendly April actually wanted to get with Sterling.</p><p>Right, April’s turn then. She dragged her eyes up Sterling’s body, feeling something jolt through her when she reached those mesmerizing blue eyes.</p><p>“You have beautiful eyes, it’s easy to…,” April paused and reframed her thoughts to something less akin to declaring she was a raging lesbian in front of Ellen. “Easy to, um, notice,” April concluded, holding her breath for a moment while her nerves were on high alert.</p><p>One corner of Sterling’s mouth inched up. She flicked her eyes down and brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear before looking April in the eyes again.</p><p>When it was Sterling’s turn again, she proved to be just as hopeless as April, if not more. “I like your lips,” Sterling blurted out. “When you smile!” she tacked on with a loud tone and the hand gestures of a maestro.</p><p>April lost her composure, snorted, and smiled because Sterling was adorable when she got all flustered. But it wasn’t fun for long. April slipped into her stoic mask when she noticed Ellen staring at them intently, remembering she wasn’t alone with Sterling. Once again, someone ruined a good moment, although Ellen was nowhere near as rude as Blair.</p><p>Silence fell to the point of discomfort. Sterling plucked at the cuffs of her sleeves, eyes flitting mainly between Ellen and the floor. But April swore she caught Sterling glimpsing her way, once. April wondered if she should say something, anything, to distract Ellen from connecting the dots and picking up on the lack of heterosexuality.</p><p>“I knew my two superstars could do it,” Ellen spoke, smiling brightly at them.</p><p>“May I go home?” Sterling asked, shifting on her seat. “I have, uh, chores that need to get done and I don’t want to be late.”</p><p>Again with the bounty hunting? April bit her tongue instead of sneering at Sterling and revealing she knew all about her dirty little secret, but God, acting clueless was frustrating.</p><p>Bounty hunting was a reckless, dangerous job, which was in no way suitable for teenagers. April didn’t understand the appeal of chasing criminals as a civilian when there were trained police officers with bulletproof vests to take care of those. She was willing to bet Mr. Wesley and Mrs. Wesley had no idea about their daughters’ after school activities.</p><p>But April bit her tongue. For now.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling sped into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She grabbed the sink, panting above it, face red as she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Maybe the brownies someone brought with them didn’t sit well with her. Something about her body acted funny, but different from that time she drank alcohol at that college kids’ party. Oh God, what if they were an edible? What if there were drugs in her system right now? Her parents would ground her for life and have her sleep outside in a tent until the dawn of time.</p><p>“Ah!” Sterling hissed, reaching for her stomach.</p><p>Holding a washcloth under the tap with one hand, Sterling lifted her shirt with the other. The cloth slipped from her fingers with a wet thud. She stared at her abdomen, gasping as black ink appeared out of nowhere. It started with a branch, intricately woven, intertwined with roses. Then, butterflies materialized around it, in various sizes. The piece covered the left side of her stomach, right up to her navel. And then it stopped.</p><p>Okay, so not a bad brownie.</p><p>Tripping over her own two feet as she went, Sterling exited the bathroom and jogged toward her joined bedroom. She opened the door without knocking and leaned against it after she closed it.</p><p>Blair lowered the headphones which rested atop her head. “Sterl?” she said, uncrossing her legs, scrambling up. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”</p><p>“I…,” Sterling breathed out. “Tattoo,” she uttered, grasping the hem of her shirt, showing the mysterious ink to her sister.</p><p>“Holy fudge nuggets!” Blair exclaimed, eyes wide. “You got a tattoo without me?”</p><p>Sterling lowered her shirt. “I didn’t,” she uttered, shaking her head. “I would never let those needles anywhere near my body. You know mom said tattoos can give us skin cancer.”</p><p>“But...,” Blair whispered, gesturing at what definitely looked like a tattoo underneath Sterling’s shirt.</p><p>“I felt something burn, but not in a painful way, more like when you put a potato in your mouth that’s too hot so you spit it out kind of way,” Sterling explained. “I don’t know what’s happening, Blair. I sound calm, but I’m freaking out here.”</p><p>“We’re going to figure this out,” Blair assured, studying the ink. “Twin-swear,” she promised, opening up her laptop.</p><p>Sterling bit her lip, pacing back and forth through their room. Downstairs, she heard a song from Adele play, causing her to groan. Make that a couple more songs she never wanted to hear again. There was some laughter, though overall their party kind of sucked. Blair hadn’t even left their bedroom all night!</p><p>It hit Sterling like a tidal wave how her sister wasn’t feeling well and didn’t blink twice to help her with her issues; again. Sterling still felt guilty she wasn’t there the night Blair needed her, while her sister always had her back, although Blair made it clear she wanted nothing to do with Miles anymore, and had started moving on with Spencer.  </p><p>“Okay so, I Googled it,” Blair said, waving her sister over, “and marks like that are a rare phenomenon that appears on someone’s body between the ages of seventeen and nineteen. They exist in the shape of animals, symbols, lyrics, a quote, or initials. At the same time, someone else gets the same exact mark mirrored on their body. According to research, less than zero point zero zero one percent gets a mark like that.”</p><p>“Holy shit, Sterl,” Blair gasped. “That’s like seventy-eight thousand people in our world of billions!”</p><p>“Okay, you’re seriously good at math,” Sterling commented, reading over her sister’s shoulder where that calculation wasn’t mentioned.</p><p>Blair turned around. “Do you have any idea what this means?”</p><p>“That you’re reconsidering applying to Harvard next year because you’re a genius?”</p><p>“What? No. I mean yes, but no,” Blair replied, shaking her head. “You have a soulmate! An actual soul-”</p><p>Sterling clamped her hand in front of her sister’s mouth and flit her eyes urgently at the door. She was not interested in broadcasting the news, not when she just found out herself. Sterling used to think soulmates were, well, romantic and such, but purely made up. She lowered her hand when Blair bit her.</p><p>“I can’t believe you have a soulmate,” Blair whispered. “Who do you think it is?”</p><p>“Not Luke,” Sterling answered without a shred of a doubt. “I mean, he’s a good guy. He’s sweet and kind, but he’s…”</p><p>“Not soulmate material,” Blair filled in with a shrug. “For you,” she added quickly.</p><p>Sterling nodded because she never loved Luke the way he loved her and if he had a soulmate, he deserved someone who truly wanted to be with him until the end.</p><p>“I don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl,” Sterling groaned, and while she was fine with being into both before, it sucked a little now. “What if they don’t even go to our school? What if they live in China or in New-Zealand?”</p><p>“Oh, dude,” Blair said, gripping Sterling’s shoulders, “what if it’s the evil temptress?”</p><p>Sterling swallowed. “Don’t call her that, she’s not all bad.”</p><p>“She broke your heart and trampled the pieces like a bull in a China shop. Why do you still defend her?”</p><p>The answer was too obvious and painful to vocalize. Sterling couldn’t get the words past her lips.</p><p>“Sooo…,” Sterling trailed off, having another peek at her ink. “I guess I’m looking for someone with this mark on the right side of their abdomen.”</p><p>Blair touched the outlines with the tip of her finger. “Does it hurt?” she queried, frowning when Sterling winced.</p><p>“It…it burns,” Sterling whispered, feeling a sort of spark move across her stomach as if the ink was appearing all over again. “Do you think my soulmate feels this, too?”</p><p>“Oh God,” Sterling uttered, eyes round. “I have a soulmate!”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>♪ Marry me, Juliet. You'll never have to be alone. ♪</em>
</p><p>
  <em>♪ I love you, and that's all I really know. ♪</em>
</p><p> </p><p>April was lying on her stomach on top of her bed, with her elbows propped up, wiggling her legs back and forth as she quietly sang along with the playlist on her laptop. Tonight, all she could think about was Sterling, and the birthday party she wasn’t allowed to attend even if she would have been invited.</p><p>But April wasn’t alone. Her parents agreed to let her have a sleepover with one of her best friends. April wanted to invite both Hannah B and Ezekiel, but her parents weren’t okay with a boy being in her room. Frankly, the thought a boy and a girl being in a bedroom together meant they were going to have sex was dated and wrong. But as always, April didn’t argue and agreed to only have girls sleep over.</p><p>Hannah B opened up a zip-lock bag and emptied the contents in between the two of them. “Can I paint your nails?”</p><p>April considered herself more of a chapstick kind of girl. “Depends on the color,” she responded, filing her nails.</p><p>“You’ve cut your nails really short,” Hannah B commented.</p><p>“I like to keep them clean,” April explained while she curled her fingers toward the palm of her hand to check if they were immaculate yet.</p><p>“How about pink?”</p><p>“What am I, Malibu Barbie?” April scoffed. “You know my favorite color’s blue.”</p><p>Hannah B opted for a soft shade of baby blue and started painting April’s nails. It made the night feel more or less normal and she was grateful for her friend’s company, even though she didn’t do a good job of showing her friends she appreciated them.</p><p>“What do you do when you like someone?”</p><p>“Why are you asking me? I’m not interested in anyone,” April all but bit out. She sighed when Hannah B stared down at her lap. “But…I suppose if I liked a guy, I’d ask him out,” April guessed, somewhat frustrated her friend picked tonight to act like a hormonal teenager.</p><p>On the plus side, there were no magazines with half-naked men that made April want to gouge out her eyes. If Hannah B wanted to spend this sleepover gushing about guys, April could feign interest and mention one of those men from Twilight other girls seemed to adore so much. She knew one of them was a vampire while the other was a werewolf, but aside from the female lead, that movie was nothing but a snooze fest. And she never understood the love triangle Bella had with them when Alice and Rosalie were right there.</p><p>“I don’t know how to ask him out,” Hannah B whispered, chewing her lip. “We’ve been friends for so long, what if he says no?”</p><p>April’s jaw dropped for a moment there. “You like Ezekiel?”</p><p>“Yes,” Hannah B confirmed with a smile and a blush on her cheeks.</p><p>It was cute, but it didn’t affect April like it did when Sterling got all flustered.</p><p>“Ezekiel is…,” Hannah B sighed softly.</p><p>Gay and so deep in the closet he walked right past Narnia.</p><p>“Dreamy,” Hannah B concluded, humming contently.</p><p>April felt genuinely sorry for her friend. Unrequited crushes resulted in hopelessly yearning to be near someone in a way that would never happen, no matter how much wishing and praying was involved in the process. Straight people couldn’t be turned gay, just like gays couldn’t be turned straight, regardless of the claims made by those who supported conversion therapy. The latter was one of April’s worst nightmares and she hoped for a future where anyone who wasn’t straight wouldn’t be punished for existing.</p><p>“Sometimes I stare at him in class,” Hannah B continued. “I hope that’s not creepy…,” she added, wringing her hands together.</p><p>“No, Han, I get it,” April sighed, squeezing her friend’s hand. “When you like someone they’re the sun in your life and you know staring comes with a risk, but you can’t help yourself. You’re naturally drawn to them, taking notice of their mannerisms and the sound of their laughter. It’s infectious and even better when you’re responsible for making them laugh, for putting a smile on their face. And you don’t mean to stare, you don’t, but you do because somehow, they’ve become the center of your universe. You’re not sure how it’s happened or when, but before you know it, your stomach is filled with butterflies, fluttering whenever they’re near or whenever they cross your mind. And-”</p><p>Hannah B’s mouth was agape and April knew she went too far, said too much.</p><p>“Books,” April declared with a nervous laugh.</p><p>“It’s okay if you like someone, April,” Hannah B stated. “It doesn’t matter what he looks like or where he’s from, you don’t have to be ashamed.”</p><p>April almost corrected her friend to say she had the gender pronoun wrong, but she didn’t have the strength to take that leap. Suddenly, she didn’t feel well. It began with nausea she passed off as anxiety, but then her stomach burned.</p><p>“I have to go to the bathroom for a minute,” April announced, all but bolting out of the door.</p><p>April sat down on the edge of the tub, wincing as she hoisted her shirt over her head. The right side of her abdomen tickled and out of nowhere, black ink covered it with a branch, decorated with roses and adorned by butterflies, scattered around the branch.</p><p>“What in tarnation…?”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you liked it! :-)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“When you said you wanted to try something new today, I didn’t think you’d go to jail.”</p><p>The outer walls of the prison were a pale washed up grey. Pieces were chipped here and there, and parts looked like someone climbed the thing with gum. Clouds covered the sun, making this day all the more dreadful as if going to jail was ever a picnic to begin with.</p><p>Sterling exhaled and reached to unbuckle her seatbelt, but she stopped and let her fingers hover there, faintly touching the plastic. “I need answers,” she informed her sister, inhaling. “<em>She</em> knows things mom and dad won’t tell me,” she added, loosening her seatbelt then. “I have to know, I just…I have to, Blair.”</p><p>Blair bit her lip. “I should go in there with you.”</p><p>“I’ll be fine,” Sterling assured with a smile, although her heart shooting all the way up in her throat said something else.</p><p>But Sterling couldn’t help being a little bit afraid of facing that woman again. She also worried she might not like whatever her bio mom – which was what she was going to call ‘Aunt’ Dana from now on – had to say. The fact they were related caused Sterling’s stomach to turn, but she reminded herself they had nothing else in common. Except for disliking sour patch candy, which her bio mom mentioned amidst the abduction. Then again, many others in the world would agree and it didn’t mean they were similar.</p><p>Sterling would never burn down an abortion clinic! Women had the right to choose what they did to their bodies, regardless of her personal feelings toward abortion. She could never picture herself having one, but she wouldn’t spit on someone else if they decided to walk that path. Her bio mom was an arsonist and therefore a criminal, while Sterling helped catch bad guys so justice could be served, as it should.</p><p>Blair slouched back against her seat with a sigh.</p><p>“Go have fun on your date with Bowser’s hot nephew,” Sterling commented, poking her tongue out of the side of her mouth. “I know you’ve been dying to get some time alone with him.”</p><p>“Aaaaa, I can’t wait to go for a ride!” Blair exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear.</p><p>Seeing Blair light up like that warmed Sterling’s heart. “Wear protection,” she cautioned, softly elbowing her sister.</p><p>“Speaking of, I should’ve kept that bulletproof vest,” Blair mused, nodding to herself. “If Bowser finds out, he’ll probably kill me or worse, tell mom.”</p><p>“If Bowser wants to kill you, he’ll have to go through me first,” Sterling promised, flexing her arms. “Twin swear.”</p><p>Blair gasped. “Oh my God, I would totally die for you too!” she responded, resting a hand on her chest.</p><p>Sterling got out of the car and leaned against the brick wall next to the fence while she waited for her sister’s date to arrive. She wasn’t too keen on Blair hopping onto the back of a motorcycle, though on the other hand, there was nothing wrong with living a little and exploring new things.</p><p>Spencer’s motorcycle revved as he pulled up into the parking lot. “I got you a helmet, babe,” he called out to Blair while holding a purple helmet decorated with a fire-spitting dragon.</p><p>“He called me babe,” Blair whispered to Sterling before accepting the helmet with a smile.</p><p>“Be careful with my sister,” Sterling warned the guy, “she’s precious cargo.”</p><p>“No worries,” Spencer chuckled. “I’ll treat her like the special lady she is.”</p><p>Blair grasped Sterling’s arm. “If you don’t see me tonight,” she hushed in Sterling’s ear, “it’s because we’re on our way to Vegas to get hitched.”</p><p>Sterling gasped at that. If her sister ever dared to get married without telling her every little detail, she would be so mad she probably wouldn’t talk to her for a full day – twenty-four long and painful hours – where Blair could reflect on her actions. Then again, Sterling couldn’t imagine a world where she didn’t get to talk to her sister for a whole day, and she would forgive Blair like she always did.</p><p>Holding her breath, Sterling stared at the road until Blair and Spencer disappeared out of sight. Her breaths came in shudders then as she turned to enter prison. But Sterling pressed on; head held high while she walked through the gates, swearing to herself she would never put herself in a position where she would end up in jail.</p><p>Sterling was a good Christian girl, who lived by the bible. Well, mostly. But she prayed lots and spread the good word of the Lord, without taking his name in vain. And earlier this week, she like totally gave a sandwich to a homeless man.</p><p>“Hello, officer…sir,” Sterling said, pushing the strap of her bag higher up her shoulder. “I’m here to see Dana Culpepper.”</p><p>“Wait in there,” the man responded, pointing at a room on their right.</p><p>Sterling lifted her feet, but each step was more of a struggle than the last. Her throat closed up to the point of suffocation if she didn’t get fresh air soon, and her eyes stung. She didn’t quite register sitting down, but she must have because what felt like a second later, the officer came back with her bio mom.</p><p>“Sterling,” Dana spoke, and the sound of her voice nearly made Sterling flinch, but she refused to give her that power.</p><p>Sterling forced her lungs to inhale, ignoring the way it hurt. “Aunt Dana,” she uttered with a tone just as bitter and cold as her bio mom’s heart.</p><p>“I’m so happy to see you, muffin,” Dana exclaimed with a smile. But it was crooked and fake like the nail polish she wore to copy Sterling’s true mother. “How are you?” Dana questioned, turning her chair the other way around and placing her arms atop the back.</p><p>Sterling’s mother would never sit at a table like a hick, although it did look comfortable if one ignored the lack of a proper posture. She shook her head for a moment, suddenly too aware she compared her biological mother to the one who raised her, and while they were twins, they couldn’t be more like a snake and a mouse.</p><p>“Oh you know,” Sterling sighed, “I’m terrific, couldn’t be better spending my time in prison.”</p><p>“Don’t you sass me now,” Dana prompted. “At least you don’t have to share a cell with three other women and have them watch you pee.”</p><p>Sharing a small confined space with women didn’t sound so bad, but Sterling kept that part to herself, along with her snide remarks how she wasn’t a criminal who brought it upon herself to get locked up.</p><p>“Who’s my father?” Sterling queried. “My biological father,” she clarified, crossing her fingers it wasn’t Levi or an even worse guy than him.</p><p>“I know you’re confused, muffin,” Dana replied, and Sterling wished she would stop calling her that already. “But the truth is I don’t know,” Dana revealed with a shrug. “I went from place to place before I had you and my mind wasn’t so clear back then.”</p><p>Sterling squeezed her fingers into tight fists. She should have known coming here wouldn’t give her the result she hoped for. Everything inside of her screamed to leave, to make a dash for the exit, and to never look back.</p><p>“Since you’re here…,” Dana began. “Maybe you could put in a good word for me with the judge, help your dear old mom.”</p><p>Sterling guffawed at the request. “You held a gun to my head,” she pointed out, shoving her chair back as she stood.</p><p>“You’re my daughter. I was never going to hurt you.”</p><p>“I am not your daughter,” Sterling all but spat. “You didn’t raise me.”</p><p>“I may not have raised you,” Dana admitted, “but I’ve always loved you.”</p><p>Love? Sterling doubted her bio mom would even know the definition of love if a dictionary hit her in the face. She felt herself grow taller as the fear she used to feel ebbed away. Tears broke free from her eyes, but they weren’t out of sadness or grief.</p><p>“I’m bisexual,” Sterling shared and as soon as she did, she felt relieved. “God, I’m bisexual,” she repeated, smiling in earnest.</p><p>Every bit of color drained from Dana’s face. “Oh lord, I should’ve never left you with those Wesleys,” she whispered, burying her hands in her hair. “Lord, what have I done?”</p><p>Dana reached across the table, coming up with nothing but air. “We can pray for forgiveness together.” </p><p>“Forgiveness?” Sterling repeated with a chuckle and a shake of her head. “God made me, so he must have had a reason.”</p><p>Sterling considered showing her mark. All she had to do was lift up her shirt to prove she received a sign from God, but at the same time she had no obligation toward Dana and she didn’t need to prove her desires were allowed to exist. Sterling didn’t need to convince her biological mother because she didn’t need her approval. Dana’s opinion didn’t matter. Sterling only cared for those of her actual family, the people close to her heart.</p><p>“You may not forgive me,” Sterling uttered, lifting up her chin. “But I choose to forgive you. That doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget what you’ve done, but I won’t let your actions take a hold of my life any longer. I choose to be free.”</p><p>With every step away from Dana, Sterling felt lighter and breathed easier.</p><p>“Hey, God,” Sterling sighed on her way out, folding her hands together. “It’s me again. I have a small favor to ask, but it’s not for myself. I want to ask if you could please bless Dana by shining your light on her, so there can be more love in her heart rather than hatred. Thank you.”</p><p>Sterling climbed into the driver’s seat of her car and at that moment, all the emotions of today washed over her at once, breaking the floodgates. She needed to call someone, except for her sister, who deserved a drama-free day.</p><p>With a quivering breath, Sterling pressed two on her speed dial. “Hi,” she whimpered when the line connected after the first ring. “I don’t want to disturb you I just…”</p><p>“You’re crying.”</p><p>“I went to prison to visit <em>you know who</em>,” Sterling shared with a scoff.</p><p>“I’ll be right there, let me call an Uber.”</p><p>Sterling couldn’t help but chuckle. “April Stevens in an Uber?” she mused, smiling. “Once again, you’ve made my day infinitely better.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The doorbell rung mere seconds before April was about to step outside. She specifically instructed the driver to wait for her at the end of the street, not show up on her doorstep. How hard was it to follow a simple request? If her parents knew she was getting into an Uber instead of Hannah B’s car and that her destination wasn’t the library, she would be in serious trouble.</p><p>In hindsight, April needed to work on a new excuse, something that didn’t force her to bury herself in books half the night to get higher grades. But what was a girl supposed to do when her crush needed her help? Sterling was her Achilles heel and she wouldn’t call April unless it was an emergency. And Sterling wouldn’t have called if Blair was available, which meant she wasn’t.</p><p>April could go back to pretending to resent Sterling later. Right now, she had an Uber driver to quietly yell at and a prison to get to.</p><p>April swung the door open and her argument got choked up in the back of her throat just as fast.</p><p>“Luke,” April noted, blinking. “What are you doing at my house?”</p><p>“Hey, April,” Luke responded with a goofy smile and a little wave. “I got you flowers,” he shared, revealing a bouquet of red roses from behind his back.</p><p>April stared at the dozen roses while a pit formed in her stomach. Friends didn’t give each other flowers, not without a valid reason such as a home warming or to congratulate someone. But even then, roses were hardly appropriate and everyone knew red ones were a symbol of romance. April didn’t need to analyze her thoughts to know precisely what this gesture meant.</p><p>“I, ah, was wondering…,” Luke spoke, standing there with the flowers still in his hand.</p><p>April wanted to apologize to Luke as much as she wanted to tell him off for daring to pull this kind of stunt on her doorstep while her parents were home. And in how many languages did April have to tell him no? She already let Luke down in Spanish, which should have sufficed.</p><p>“Who’s at the door, princess?” April heard her father ask from the living room.</p><p>“Just a friend from school, dad,” April replied, feeling nauseous.</p><p>“I was wondering,” Luke repeated, so darn oblivious it was no longer cute. “If you’d like to grab pizza together sometime? There’s this buy one get one for free deal at-”</p><p>“No,” April uttered, shaking her head for good measure. “I don’t want to go out with you, Luke. Not now, not ever.”</p><p>Luke staggered a step and sure, it sounded harsh, but April had to do something to get it through his thick skull that they would never be more than friends. April had a soulmate, for Pete’s sake! There was a girl she was meant to be with, her beacon of hope in a dark world full of bigots, although she ought to get over Sterling first.</p><p>The mark which felt like a curse the night it appeared had turned out to be a blessing when April conducted a thorough research in her father’s library, which had old scriptures and scrolls.</p><p>“Please leave,” April urged, shutting the door to shut out the dejected look on Luke’s face.</p><p>April waited for a beat, watching through the curtains as Luke left.</p><p>“I overheard that boy asking you out,” her father commented. “Creswell is a good kid, why did you turn him down?”</p><p>April took a second to inhale and consider her answer.</p><p>“Sterling broke up with him and I deserve better than being someone’s second choice. Right, daddy?”</p><p>“Of course you do, my angel,” her father nodded, grumbling a little. “No boy getting involved with a Wesley is good enough for you.”</p><p>April hummed non-committedly. She mumbled a short bye, headed out the door, and made a beeline for the end of the street where her Uber driver waited for her, as agreed. While she got in the car, April made sure her can of mace was in perfect view. She was willing to take small risks here and there, but getting abducted or murdered weren’t among those risks.</p><p>When April arrived after a truly horrible twenty-eight minutes and nineteen seconds of hearing her driver listening and singing along to heavy metal, she was greeted by Sterling who all but leaped into her arms. She barely managed to balance herself as she caught Sterling, wrapping her arms around her waist.</p><p>“You came,” Sterling breathed out, nudging her nose against April’s cheek.</p><p>April straightened herself. “I said I would, didn’t I?” she replied, and she thought of creating space between them, but that would defeat the fact she drove all the way out here.</p><p>April was pretty sure that the last part was all in her head until Sterling took a step back.</p><p>“I, ah…,” Sterling said, combing her hair behind her ears. “I told my birth giver I’m bisexual.”</p><p>“Oh,” April whispered, swallowing.</p><p>Of course, Sterling would be brave and bold enough to come out to someone other than her sister, although April felt confused as to why Sterling opened up to the person who entered her life like a wrecking ball.</p><p>“How did it go?” April questioned, grasping Sterling’s hand, running her thumb across her knuckles.</p><p>Sterling inhaled audibly. “I think she needs some time to process the news,” she answered, stepping closer. “I can’t believe you took an Uber,” she laughed, staring into April’s eyes.</p><p>April’s breath came in short puffs. If she leaned forward on the tips of her toes, their lips would meet. But her attention wandered lower instead, stopping where Sterling’s blouse met the waist of her jeans, and for a moment she wondered what Sterling’s stomach looked like.</p><p>Sterling had her birthday the night April’s mysterious soulmate mark appeared, her seventeenth birthday. What if her crush since the fifth grade was the one?</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hopeless gays.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sterling rested her chin in the palm of her hand, exhaling softly while she glanced – okay fine, stared – at April who pulled her hair free from its bun. April looked pretty like that, with slightly disheveled locks. It brought Sterling back to the day April walked in with a leaf stuck in her hair. Sterling’s breath caught then and it got caught again now. It wasn’t her fault April awoke some kind of fire inside of her that refused to stop blazing through her every time she laid eyes on April.</p><p>April’s lips were full and plump, and soft to kiss. But since they were no longer together, all Sterling could do was steal glimpses and hope that maybe someday, they could reconnect. She did tell April she wasn’t sure if there would be a ‘someday’ for them, but Sterling hadn’t let go yet. And to be fair, their breakup was bullshit.</p><p>“Today,” Ellen spoke chipper as always, although Sterling’s attention stayed mostly with April, “we will talk about unity and what better symbolizes unity than family?” </p><p>“Yeah right,” April muttered, sweeping her hair across her shoulder with a huff.</p><p>Sterling’s throat bobbed, detecting a spark of anger from the shorter girl which lit her nerve endings on fire. But Sterling corrected herself, nodding ever so slightly in understanding. Her hand reflexively shot out, meaning to show support, but she stopped herself short before she could touch April’s and receive a snappy remark about boundaries. Sterling doubted April was ready to let her in, to be vulnerable, despite the fact April got into an Uber for her without giving it a second thought.</p><p>The little progress they made was too important for Sterling to ruin it by making the wrong move. On top of that, she was like seventy-five percent sure April might be her soulmate. It was a feeling that resonated deep within Sterling, a magnetic pull that kept her gravitating toward April like the universe was trying to tell her ‘<em>this is it</em>.’</p><p>Okay, eighty-five percent sure. Maybe ninety, but there were almost eight billion people in the world, so who was to say her soulmate was the girl next door? It seemed like a far stretch and if Sterling was honest, April was the first girl she ever had feelings for, so maybe they were never meant to last. But then Sterling took in April’s features from her cute little nose to her tight skirt, and her heart lurched.  </p><p>“I have a fun assignment for all of you,” Ellen announced.</p><p>Sterling hoped they didn’t have to put together their family tree because she wasn’t ready to have everyone know just how broken hers was and Dana would never be anything other than her bio mom who chose a life of crime over her own flesh and blood. Anything was better than tracing her family tree, even writing an essay unless she had to read it aloud in front of the class.</p><p>“Today,” Ellen explained as she hoisted a box on top of her desk, “you will all become parents.”</p><p>Sterling frowned while Ellen held up a plastic doll in one hand and a pack of diapers in the other.</p><p>“I want you to pair up in teams of two,” Ellen instructed. “Go on, get a baby.”</p><p>“Um, Miss Johnson?” Sterling uttered, raising her hand. “There aren’t enough boys,” she accurately pointed out, without having to bother to count.</p><p>“You don’t have to partner up with a boy, Sterling,” Ellen responded while she pushed the first doll into Sterling’s unexpected hands, “Not all families have a mommy and a daddy. Some only have a mommy or a daddy, and others have two mommies or two daddies.”</p><p>Sterling blinked up at Ellen with a smile, who made a very valid point.</p><p>“Blasphemy!” Franklin shouted.</p><p>“Families come in all shapes and sizes,” Ellen said, “God does not judge and neither should we.”</p><p>Sterling’s smile widened and she couldn’t resist winking at April. She did tell the shorter girl Ellen would be supportive, and she was right. April either didn’t notice or completely ignored Sterling’s small moment of rightful smugness.</p><p>“Looks like you and I are partners,” April uttered, placing a hand on Sterling’s arm.</p><p>Sterling bit back a moan at the contact. “P-partners?” she repeated, all high and squeaky for no apparent reason, wishing she bought that invisibility cloak she saw on Amazon recently just in case it actually worked.</p><p>“Ezekiel and Hannah B teamed up together,” April answered with a non-committal wave of her hand, averting her eyes, seemingly unaffected by Sterling embarrassing herself.</p><p>“We did?” Ezekiel questioned, frowning at April.</p><p>“Yes!” Hannah B said, linking her arm with Ezekiel’s. “We share a desk and you’d be a perfect daddy, I can tell.”</p><p>“Girl,” Ezekiel sighed, rolling his eyes, “you’re lucky you’ve got good looks.”</p><p>Sterling drowned out the conversation between Hannah B and Ezekiel to observe April, who busied herself with a pencil and a notebook. “Hmm,” Sterling hummed, shifting closer. “I didn’t know you can draw,” she whispered, in awe of the flowers April sketched.</p><p>April turned the page over and closed her book just before Sterling had the chance to catch a glimpse of some of April’s other work. She tucked it away in her backpack, her face a mixture between amused and annoyed, and with her, Sterling was never quite sure which side she was going to get.</p><p>“Perhaps you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” April uttered. “What do you want?”</p><p>In her mind, Sterling pictured herself running her fingers through April’s hair, cradling her face, and melting into her as their lips met.</p><p>“The, uh, ass-assignment,” Sterling managed to stammer, cheeks warm. “Should I come over to your house?”</p><p>“<em>No</em>,” April replied curtly, kind of in the same way as someone would tell a dog they’d been bad. And Sterling didn’t mind April barking at her or even biting if she wanted to, but surely a basic question didn’t warrant such a response.</p><p>April cleared her throat and sighed. “No, I’ll…I’ll come to your place.”</p><p>Sterling wondered why April so eagerly volunteered to partner up with her when she could have picked one of her friends, or even Luke, who would have been more than happy to form a fake family with April. Sterling and April did make a good team though, they were both straight-A students who didn’t slack around, and perhaps April appreciated that quality in Sterling as much as she did in her.</p><p>During the rest of the class, Sterling couldn’t stop thinking about April’s hidden talent.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first bite of the pasta crunched in April’s mouth and the sauce contained too much salt. But she didn’t complain; she chewed until she was able to swallow it down. She glanced up at her mother, who moved her fork around with a blank look on her face. While her mother was never a seize the day kind of person who loved to stop to smell the roses, she turned into this depressed shell of a woman ever since April’s father cheated.</p><p>Cheating was a sin and it was selfish. Her father had the perfect marriage, but now it was full of cracks. Where on earth was he tonight anyway? He should be home to have dinner with them. Not that it was particularly edible, but it was the principle that mattered.</p><p>“Mom,” April whispered, pleading with her eyes.</p><p>April’s mother blinked. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” she apologized with a strained smile. “I’m not hungry after the lunch I had,” she chuckled, but April knew that was a lie because there were no dishes when she came home.</p><p>“Do you like it?” April’s mother questioned, pushing her plate away.</p><p>Her mother could try to hide it all she wanted to, but April saw the redness in her eyes and she heard her cry last night. She felt her heart clench and she thought about lying too by pretending the food was delicious, but she was tired of this ruse. So she put her fork down and allowed her tears to surface.</p><p>“I think you should get a divorce,” April told her mother, convinced it was inevitable either way. “You’re not happy and neither am I. You don’t have to put up with his lies. You deserve better than that. We both do. I know people might judge your decision, but God will understand. <em>I’ll</em> understand.”</p><p>“April…”</p><p>“Either you file for divorce or I’m filing for you,” April replied, wiping her tears away. She wasn’t sure if she could do that, but in God’s name, she swore she would try. “We deserve to be free.” </p><p>Her father didn’t get to monopolize them. He made a grief mistake and now he had to pay the piper. The sooner he was gone, the sooner April and her mother could build a life for themselves, away from his shadow. He was her father, yes. And she loved him dearly, but April loved her mother too much to allow her to suffer by her father’s hand. Enough was enough.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Blair peered around, sighing as they waited in line. Sterling warned her sister the showing would sell out fast, even on a Tuesday, but as usual, Blair was being stubborn and insisted it would be fine if they got there twenty minutes before the movie started. A quick headcount indicated roughly twenty-eight people were in front of them to get their hands on tickets and unless some of them were there to see Trolls World Tour, their chances to see Scoob were significantly narrow.</p><p>“I could’ve sworn there’d be like five people, tops,” Blair muttered, stomping her foot. “You’d think people would be busy with homework or I dunno, their job.”</p><p>Sterling lifted a finger to comment, but she swallowed it, not wanting to rattle her sister. Surely Bowser would be fine tracking down the next bounty on his own since they were so urgently indisposed…at home. In Sterling’s defense, it was all Blair’s idea to go see it immediately rather than wait until the weekend came along. Then again, Sterling was the one who told their parents they had to work.</p><p>“Ugh,” Blair sighed, pushing her sleeve up to look at her watch. “Come on, we only have thirteen minutes left,” she groaned, scanning the area behind them.</p><p>Sterling gasped. “You invited Spencer?” she uttered, crossing her arms across her chest. “You’re going on a date during our twin-time?”</p><p>Their twin-time was sacred. The number one rule was nobody, and that meant <em>nobody</em>, was allowed to join them. Even their parents knew how serious they were about their twin-time. The last time they spent it watching a movie, they were at home, in the family room, while their parents were banned to their bedroom. It was a whole thing, a promise they made when they were nine.</p><p>“Ehh…kind of,” Blair admitted, chewing her lip. “Spence is this huge Scooby-Doo fan and you know how much I love that silly dog and-”</p><p>“Interesting term of endearment for your boyfriend.”</p><p>“Ha ha,” Blair replied, rolling her eyes. “Look, Sterl, I know I blindsided you, but you sort of owed me and I’ll like totally owe you one after this. I want to see this movie and who better to watch it with than my two favorite people in the whole wide world?”</p><p>“Two favorite people, huh?” Spencer spoke up as he arrived. “Hey, babe,” he smiled, snaking his arms around Blair’s waist.</p><p>“Heyy.”</p><p>Blair hugged Spencer and pleaded Sterling to be cool through their twin-telepathy.</p><p>“Fine,” Sterling mouthed, rolling her eyes with a smile.</p><p>Being the third-wheel sucked and Sterling didn’t need the reminder of how painfully single she was, although she comforted herself with the fact she had a soulmate.</p><p>When the line thinned, the person in front of them bought the last tickets.</p><p>“Are you effin’ kidding me!?” Blair exclaimed. “We waited…,” she paused and glanced at her watch again, “almost eleven minutes for this!”</p><p>“Breathe, babe,” Spencer said, pulling out his wallet. “I got you,” he assured, revealing three tickets.</p><p>“Popcorn’s on me,” Blair insisted, grabbing Spencer’s hand, tugging as she went.</p><p>Sterling shook her head, smiling again while she followed the happy couple. She helped herself to the largest bucket she could find, in case she needed it to throw up later, and added a bag of chips while Blair was distracted having eye-intercourse with Spencer.</p><p>“…so they no longer talk?” Sterling overheard her sister say to Spencer as she plopped down in the seat next to Blair with her hands full of snacks.</p><p>“They’re both stubborn,” Spencer shared with a shrug. “I tried to mend fences, but the mountain can’t come to Mohammed if Mohammed walks away.”</p><p>“Aww, look at you quoting religion,” Blair replied, grinning.</p><p>“Bowser has a sister,” Blair whispered to Sterling, “and they haven’t spoken a word to one another in twelve years, can you imagine?”</p><p>Sterling’s jaw dropped. “The horror,” she uttered, grasping her sister’s hand. “That’s never going to be us, I love you so much, sis.”</p><p>“I love you so much, too,” Blair replied, squeezing Sterling’s hand, “you’re like…my platonic soulmate.”</p><p>“Uncle Bow wasn’t kidding,” Spencer noted. “You two are as thick as thieves.”</p><p>During the first few minutes of the movie, Sterling was busy drying her tears of joy. God blessed her so much he gave her a platonic soulmate on top of the soulmate her mark promised her. She was forever grateful her parents adopted her so she had Blair in her life. There was no better gift than a sister.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April felt Sterling’s eyes on her, watching her every move as she changed the doll’s clothes in Sterling’s garage. It seemed silly, but an assignment was an assignment, so April meant to take it seriously. This time, she didn’t have to come up with an excuse because neither one of her parents were home. It was a relief not having to lie for once.</p><p>“I can see you staring,” April spoke up, wriggling the doll’s right arm into the sleeve of pink footie pajamas.</p><p>The corners of Sterling’s mouth curled up. “Can you blame me?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t have partnered up with you if Ezekiel hadn’t partnered up with Hannah B,” April pointed out, for the record.</p><p>April knew Hannah B wanted to team up with Ezekiel and since everyone else was pretty much incompetent at receiving a good grade, she had no choice but to choose Sterling. It was a decision based on convenience, nothing else.</p><p>“I wouldn’t have partnered up with you if everyone else didn’t avoid you,” Sterling retorted with a bit of a bite. “You’re very bossy.”</p><p>“You didn’t seem to mind much before,” April recalled. “What was it you said? You aim to please?”</p><p>Sterling huffed and fixated her eyes on the bag of accessories for the doll. </p><p>“We should come up with a name for our baby,” Sterling suggested. “Do you have any ideas, daddy?”</p><p>April swallowed, but it went down the wrong pipe and resulted in a coughing fit. “God, Sterl,” she croaked, slamming her fist against her chest.</p><p>“Oh God, April,” Sterling moaned, scooting closer as if that helped. “Are you okay?” she asked, cupping April’s cheeks in her hands, searching her eyes.</p><p>“I must’ve swallowed a bug,” April mumbled, pushing Sterling’s hands away.</p><p>“Who says I’m the daddy?” April demanded to bring the topic back to the taller girl. “That’s so sex-”</p><p>“Because you’re dominant,” Sterling blurted out, interrupting. “And you have BDE.”</p><p>“What’s BDE?”</p><p>Sterling’s cheeks flushed bright red. “No comment,” she replied, glancing down, causing her hair to fall down and frame her face like a curtain.</p><p>April filed it away in her mind as something she would have to Google later, though it sounded like a compliment.</p><p>“Maddie or Devon,” April whispered, smiling softly.</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“Maddie or Devon,” April repeated. “That’s what I want to name my daughter someday,” she shared, having picked out those names years ago. “Ethan, if it’s a boy.”</p><p>“Y-you…,” Sterling uttered, gaping. “You want children?”</p><p>“Of course,” April confirmed. “Lesbians can have families of their own, you know. Didn’t you listen to Ellen?” she countered with a slight chuckle.</p><p>Sterling smiled back. “I want children, too,” she revealed with a nod. “I’m hoping for twins.”</p><p>April gasped. “You don’t say.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Sterling laughed, throwing one of the diapers at April’s head.</p><p>April arched a brow. A smile played at her lips, thinking of ways Sterling could shut her up, but then she remembered the obstacles and she knew she couldn’t go there.</p><p>“You’re full of surprises lately,” Sterling commented. “You know, taking an Uber, drawing…,” she trailed off, toying with a lock of her hair.</p><p>“You don’t know the half of it, honey.”</p><p>“Maybe not,” Sterling agreed. “But I do know you put our child’s pajama on backwards.”</p><p>April looked at her handiwork, seeing how the buttons were the wrong way around. “Okay, smartass,” she countered, setting the doll down. “Why don’t you give this a try so your baby daddy can take a break?”</p><p>Sterling coughed. “It’s dus-dusty in here,” she heaved, waving her hand in front of her face.</p><p>Oh, this could be fun for April and they did say what comes around goes around.</p><p>“Oh my God, Sterl,” April whispered, feigning a gasp. She patted the taller girl’s back, slowing down to rub circles. “You look a little pale, do you need CPR? I became a certified instructor last year.”</p><p>Sterling’s whole face tinged red, spreading down her neck. “W-water,” she stammered, scrambling away. “I’m going to get water…from the kitchen…to drink.”</p><p>April smiled to herself while Sterling left, wondering what she would have done if Sterling had said yes. She was teasing, of course, though April might have given in if Sterling wanted to test her knowledge. On the other hand, April knew she made a mistake from the moment she suggested they could partner up.</p><p>Life was complex and April didn’t have the liberty to love who she wanted to love and kiss the girls she wanted to kiss. Darn, she shouldn’t have binged all of those shows on her laptop. Recently, she gave Supergirl a binge because those abs and biceps were irresistible. But what really moved her was Alex’s coming out scene and the fact Maggie said ‘<em>life’s too short, we should kiss the girls we wanna kiss</em>.’</p><p>“My happiness doesn’t matter if it costs me my safety,” April whispered, wiping angrily at the tears that dared escape her eyes.</p><p>She didn’t wait around for Sterling to come back. April grabbed her things and bolted out of the garage, switching off her phone to not have to deal with any soon to be incoming texts or calls.  </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling bit her lip during class, tasting her blood on her tongue. April – <em>this has been my assigned seat all year </em>– Stevens, switched with Luke. Sterling’s eyes stung, unable to grasp what on earth possessed April to ditch her the other day, without a word, while they were having what she thought was a good time. They were laughing, finally on the path to possibly become friends again.</p><p>But April left. And she hadn’t returned any of Sterling’s calls and texts. She tried to come up with an answer to what she did wrong, but she couldn’t think of anything. It was just typical April, all hot one moment and cold the next, for no reason.</p><p>Sterling’s eyes kept shifting toward April, who didn’t spare her a single glance. She pulled the hood of her hoodie over her head and slipped her hands into the front pocket, while her mind kept racing, thinking about April and how she somehow managed to break her heart all over again.</p><p>Once school was over for the day, Sterling followed April onto the parking lot.</p><p>“Why are you trying so hard to hate me?” Sterling blurted out, grabbing April by the arm, spinning her around. “Is this still about the fifth grade?” Sterling guessed, pulling at straws. “Because I said I was sorry.”</p><p>“We’re not a team anymore, our project is done.”</p><p>“Why are you hot…?” April cocked an eyebrow, promptly causing Sterling to lose track while her cheeks warmed. “<em>Hot</em>,” Sterling pressed, tugging at her collar to get some air, “one moment and cold the next?”</p><p>“You’re a clever girl, Sterling. You’ll figure it out.”</p><p>April shrugged her arm free and turned her back toward Sterling. Was she really walking away again? God, April was infuriating and just <em>so</em>…argh!</p><p>Sterling was done keeping her mouth shut. “Why won’t you communicate with me, is that <em>so</em> hard?” she called out, and oh, that did it.</p><p>April faced Sterling with such speed she might need a doctor later. Her nostrils flared as she balled her fists, but then she relaxed her fingers, sucked in a breath, and raised her chin.</p><p>“I know what you did,” April said with such a calm tone it was borderline terrifying, “and I won’t ever forget, no matter how much you suck up to me.”</p><p>Sterling stood there, open-mouthed as April left. There was only one thing April could hold against her, which meant April knew Sterling was the reason her father went to prison.</p><p>Sterling needed to talk to Blair. She needed to get away from here.</p><p>“Sterling, wait up!” Luke shouted, jogging behind her.</p><p>“Not now, Luke,” Sterling pleaded.</p><p>“Something has been going on between you and April,” Luke said as he caught up to her. “I may not be smart, but I’m not stupid, Sterli.”</p><p>Sterling wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at this point. God, how obvious could she be?</p><p>“I’m bisexual, okay?” Sterling revealed, not bothered one bit if Luke decided to go tell everyone.</p><p>Sterling was bisexual and nothing was going to change that.</p><p>Luke tilted his head to the side, frowning. “Wha-what does that mean?”</p><p>“It means I like boys and I like girls. It means I…I don’t want to be friends with April and I really don’t want to be her enemy. Don’t you get it? I like April, like a lot. I can’t stop thinking about her and I act strange because I just…I want to grab her and suffocate her with my lips.”</p><p>“And here I worried you didn’t like her,” Luke mused, scratching the back of his head. “Are you thinking about asking her out?”</p><p>Sterling laughed through the tears that came with her confession. “You make everything appear so easy. But it’s not,” she replied while she dried her eyes with the back of her hand. “It’s complicated, Luke.”</p><p>Without a word, Luke enveloped Sterling in a hug.</p><p>“I think I’m falling in love with her,” Sterling whispered.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry :(</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The dull thud followed by another first thing Saturday morning roused April from her slumber. She swung her legs over the side of her bed, exhaled a deep sigh, and wriggled her feet into the slippers on her carpet. She rolled her head and rubbed her shoulders before snagging her robe from its hook on the back of her door.</p><p>Yesterday was, well, hell. She pushed Sterling away and this time it cut her deeper than the last. April spent half the night tossing and turning, rearranging her pillows over and over again as they grew wet with her tears until she finally passed out due to exhaustion. She did not anticipate anyone being up when it was hardly 5 a.m.</p><p>April made it one foot out into the hall when the blood in her body ran cold and froze her in her tracks. In her line of sight, she noticed the noise came from the luggage her mother dragged down the stairs. Her heart jumped at the next thud as it echoed off the walls in her otherwise quiet home.</p><p>April’s eyes glazed over, lip quivering despite herself. “M-mom,” she whispered, damning the crack in her voice.</p><p>Her mother halted, smiling up at her. “I didn’t mean to wake you, sweetheart,” she said all the while maintaining her smile as if anything about this situation was even remotely great.</p><p>“There’s another suitcase in my room,” her mother informed her, nodding her head that way. “Grab it for me, will you?”</p><p>Someone must have sucked up all of the air because April couldn’t breathe. Her chest tightened and a split second later, her heart constricted. If she thought yesterday was bad, this was arguably worse. So, so much worse.</p><p>April fought back tears.</p><p>“Sweetheart?” her mother prompted, brows creasing together.</p><p>“How could you?”</p><p>“I’m not leaving. I would never abandon you.”</p><p>“You’re not?” April checked, swallowing. “But…”</p><p>She gestured at the suitcase, at what it looked like. April wondered if this was a quick excuse simply because her mother got caught. She wasn’t meant to be up at this hour, which her mother already confirmed through her surprise.</p><p>“It’s your father,” her mother revealed, lifting the suitcase with a grunt.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>April’s body deflated. But at the same time, there was a gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. She was relieved her assumption was wrong and getting her dad to leave was what she wanted, yet it hurt. Her father wasn’t an honest man, he had his flaws and poorly masked imperfections, but he was still her father. When she was younger, her father was her hero, the one who read her bedtime stories and lifted her up like an airplane.</p><p>It was her father who rushed her to the doctor and held her hand when April fell and needed her first stitches. She knew she pushed this issue, which didn’t make it any easier. April knew that if her mother divorced her father it would come at a cost, but she didn’t understand the gravity of it all until now.</p><p>The air shifted when her father walked up the stairs, past her mother, while he stared straight ahead. There was a brownish stain on his shirt and his hair stuck out at all sides.</p><p>“Good morning, princess,” her father greeted upon seeing her.</p><p>April stood up straighter. “Morning.”</p><p>“I will be going away for a while, to Hawaii. You be good to your mother, you hear?”</p><p>“Yes, sir,” April nodded, drawing her lips together into a thin line.  </p><p>April went to the bathroom where she hopped under the shower. She hummed a melody, shuddering as she stood under the stream. Outside, she heard her father’s car leaving the driveway. She didn’t say goodbye and she didn’t hug him, but as a Stevens, she wasn’t good at saying goodbye.</p><p>Around eight, April sat cross-legged on her bed, clad in grey sweats she usually kept in the back of her closet and a navy t-shirt. Sighing, she pulled her knees up under her chin. She glanced at the apple on her desk, which she took up to her room when her mother asked if she was hungry.</p><p>Once every couple of minutes, a car drove by and April held her breath, but then exhaled as it kept going. She fixated her eyes on her window, listening to one of the neighbors mowing their lawn while another tried to shut up their barking dog. April bet it was Boomer, the pipsqueak of a Chihuahua Mrs. Crumble adopted.</p><p>“Meow,” April’s cat complained while he leaped onto her bed.</p><p>“Hey, Sergeant B,” April cooed, scratching his chin, smiling as he butted her hand with his head. “A lot has happened and we might have to move. To be honest with you, I hadn’t thought the consequences through, but maybe a fresh start will be good for us. What do you think, boy?”</p><p>April’s cat curled up on her lap, which was sweet, though it also meant a multitude of hair would be stuck to her clothes. Then again, she knew what she signed up for when she practically begged her parents to let her have a cat when she was eleven. Her parents said no at first, but when her best friend gave her away and she came home in tears, her father cheered her up with a cat.</p><p>He was good at that, making her feel better whenever she was blue. April never expected him to become part of the problem. But he lied to her and that was a bitter pill to swallow. They used to tell each other everything, although April did hide a very big part of her life, but that was different. She had no idea how to tell her father that his little princess wanted to kiss other princesses rather than a frog claiming to be a prince.</p><p>April’s phone buzzed and when her screen lit up with Hannah B’s name, she groaned.</p><p>“What?” April grumbled, picking up. “Do you have any idea what time…actually, pick me up, I’ll text Ezekiel.”</p><p>Hannah B’s squeal was the only thing April heard on the other end of the line before she hung up. She carried her cat with one hand while she texted Ezekiel with the other, to let him know she was coming over. Her fingers hovered over Sterling’s name, but she decided not to go there.</p><p>After the Houdini stunt she pulled, April doubted Sterling would be running to hug her.</p><p>The whole drive toward Ezekiel’s place consisted of April staring out of the window while Hannah B gushed about Ezekiel.</p><p>“Hey, girl, hey!” Ezekiel greeted with a smile and a hug. “You look…comfy.”</p><p>God, he was so gay, April wondered what would happen if she just told him she was a lesbian. But she couldn’t spill her biggest secret. Even if Ezekiel came out, she wasn’t sure if she was brave enough to do the same. And April knew she was dressed like a hobo. Her friends didn’t have to sugarcoat it for her.</p><p>“I wouldn’t do that,” Hannah B winced. “I think she’s in a b-i-t-i-n-g mood.”</p><p>April rubbed her forehead with her thumb and her index finger. “I can spell, you moron,” she muttered, vividly recalling Hannah B losing the first round of the junior spelling bee contest, which April won.</p><p>Ezekiel took a step back. “What happened?” he questioned, waving them inside while he walked on toward the stairs.</p><p>“It’s my dad,” April admitted, chewing her lip. “He left this morning. I’m not sure if he’ll ever come back.”</p><p>“Oof, girl, that’s rough,” Ezekiel responded.</p><p>“Do you need another hug?” Hannah B offered.</p><p>April did need a hug, though there was only one person she wanted it from. “I’m fine,” she huffed.</p><p>“Like hell you are,” Ezekiel commented, fixing April with a look before he opened his bedroom door.</p><p>“I’ve survived worse,” April insisted, although she wasn’t sure she had.</p><p>Ezekiel’s room was different than the last time April set foot in it, about three weeks ago. His bare white walls were now covered in posters of various boy bands, from top to bottom. In the sea of guys, April recognized Lady Gaga, Cher, Meryl Streep, and Halsey, among other gorgeous women.</p><p>“Harry Styles,” Hannah B gasped, touching one of the posters. “His concerts are the best.”</p><p>“Right?” Ezekiel chimed in. “I’d sell my soul for tickets.”</p><p>“Anyways,” Ezekiel said, “you,” he pointed at April, “sit, spill.”</p><p>April sat down on the foot of Ezekiel’s bed, wringing her hands. “I told my mother to divorce him,” she informed her friends, looking up at them. “It’s my fault.”</p><p>“Didn’t your father beat up a prostitute?” Hannah B questioned. “How’s that your fault?”</p><p>“What she said,” Ezekiel nodded.</p><p>“You didn’t beat that woman,” Hannah B pointed out, moving to sit next to April.</p><p>April stared at her friend without blinking. “No, I…you’re right,” she managed to say, sparing a smile when Hannah B pulled her into a sideways hug. “I guess it’s not my fault,” April sighed softly. “But I still feel responsible for having a hand in his departure.”</p><p>“Do you need a tissue?”</p><p>“I’ll go get you some water,” Ezekiel offered, “and I’ll bring a box of tissues.”</p><p>“Why are you being so nice to me?” April queried with a wet chuckle. “Both of you,” she voiced while her eyes shifted between her friends. “I’m mean half the time, and that’s on a good day.”</p><p>“You’re my best friend,” Hannah B answered. “In fifth grade, you were the only one who wanted to sit with me for lunch. I used to feel alone and sad all the time, but then you became my friend and I wasn't sad anymore.”</p><p>April’s eyebrows knitted together. “Han, you never told me that,” she uttered, placing her hand on her friend’s knee.</p><p>“It was the start of the sixth grade for me,” Ezekiel shared. “My mother accidentally put her red sweater in with the white laundry and-”</p><p>“Your shirt was pink,” April remembered with a chuckle and a smile.</p><p>“Nathan and his buddies bullied me. They called me names, pushed me around, and then you walked up to us, punched him in the face, and told him to never mess with me again. And he never did.”</p><p>April hugged both of her friends tightly that day, swearing she would deny it in every language if they ever told anyone she showed them her soft side. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling zipped up her jacket and made a dash for the shop, shivering as the sky roared above her. There was a crack of light in the clouds, right before the first drops of rain broke free. She crossed her fingers, quietly praying there wouldn’t be any thunder because it was entirely too loud and it made her jumpy.</p><p>Blair, on the other hand, was completely in her element. That lovable weirdo lived for stormy weather, spreading her arms, face-up, welcoming the rain as it soaked her hair. “This calls for AC/DC,” she grinned, unlocking her phone.</p><p>Sterling reached for the door. “Who?” she asked, pausing at the entrance. She didn’t think Blair knew her because they never watched The 100 together.</p><p>Blair’s jaw dropped. “I don’t even know who you are anymore,” she whispered with a hand on her chest. “I always listen to Thunder when the weather’s finally awesome for once.”</p><p>“Oh, AC/DC,” Sterling repeated, punctuating every letter. “I thought you said ADC as in Alycia Debnam-Carey,” she explained, entering the shop.</p><p>Blair took one last twirl and followed Sterling to Bowser’s office. </p><p>Sterling rubbed her hands together, shrugging the droplets from her jacket. She wasn’t sure what to think about bounty hunting tonight. April knew the truth about what Sterling did, and when she told Blair last night, her sister didn’t see it as a problem. Blair also asked why Sterling even cared what April thought or felt, but it wasn’t something Sterling could shrug off.</p><p>Part of Sterling wanted to crawl in a cave somewhere so she could cry in peace and be away from everyone. But she couldn’t outrun the pain when it was carved inside of her. She had to make amends with April, which was no small task to accomplish when April was angry.</p><p>Bowser tossed a file onto the table. “Our next skip’s a slippery piece of…shirt.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Sterling whispered. “So, what’d this snake in the grass do?” she asked, jutting out her hip, crossing her arms.</p><p>“Winston Combs,” Bowser shared with a deep sigh, “sold fake pills in a nursing home and broke a nurse’s wrist when she caught him.”</p><p>“That mother…trucker,” Blair grumbled, pounding her right fist against the palm of her left hand. “I’m bringing my gun.”</p><p>“No guns,” Bowser warned.</p><p>“I’m still bringing one,” Blair told Sterling through their twin-telepathy.</p><p>“Same,” Sterling agreed, “but maybe you should stick to kicking in doors.”</p><p>“Are you saying I’m a lousy shot? Because I’ve been practicing, you know. I went to the shooting range with Spencer and I totally hit bull’s-eye twice in a row. He said as long as my aim is true, it’ll be good.”</p><p>“Now,” Bowser continued, “this guy has a weakness he can’t shake and my source told me he’ll be at the strip club tonight.”</p><p>“Ooh, we’re going to the strip club again,” Sterling noted.</p><p>“Hey, can we have some one-dollar bills?” Blair asked, shrugging a shoulder when Sterling gawked at her. “What?” Blair uttered. “We didn’t tip anyone last time, which isn’t very polite.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Sterling admitted, nodding. “That was so rude of us and the way those women contort their bodies, they deserve a-”</p><p>“Enough,” Bowser interrupted. “You want to stick bills in some thongs? Fine, but it’s coming out of your cut.”</p><p>“Now let’s go,” Bowser insisted, “before he gets away.”</p><p>Outside, the first clap of thunder struck, causing Sterling to flinch while Blair pumped her fist in the air. Sterling slid in the backseat of the car, tugging at her sleeves, stretching enough of it out to make herself a tiny pillow against the window. She shuddered at the residue of the rain when she pressed her cheek against the plastic, but it was better than nothing.</p><p>On their way to the strip club, Blair counted bills and talked animatedly about how great it was they passed for twenty-one. Bowser didn’t get many words in while Sterling didn’t say anything at all.</p><p>The lights of the club buzzed and just like last time, the bouncer didn’t blink as the twins walked by. Sterling sincerely hoped it was some kind of special bounty hunting privilege rather than a flaw in policy that resulted in minors being allowed entrance. Not that Sterling and Blair were that young. They were practically adults, who already had sex and everything.</p><p>That last bit made Sterling think back to her relationship with Luke. She felt she could always be honest with him, but he wasn’t her soulmate. She couldn’t picture herself with him in a romantic or sexual way ever again.</p><p>Sterling approached the main stage, half entranced with the woman dancing in an elegant red dress.</p><p>“I told Luke I’m bisexual,” Sterling shared spontaneously when it occurred to her she hadn’t yet.</p><p>“Oh wow, okay. Bisexual…Makes sense,” Blair nodded. “How’d he take it?”</p><p>“Bowser, hi,” Sterling uttered, suddenly remembering he was there as well. “I’m bi-”</p><p>“I don’t care who you sleep with as long as it’s not my nephew.”</p><p>“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. I sort of have feelings for this girl who used to be my best friend when we were kids, but then we became enemies, and then we kind of dated for a little bit after I kissed her and she kissed me back, but…you don’t need to know this.”</p><p>“Speaking of Spencer,” Blair commented. “What if he likes one of us?”</p><p>“I know you’ve been going out behind my back.”</p><p>“Whaaaat,” Blair laughed. “That’s so…true. But hear me out,” she said, batting her eyelashes. “I really like him and you know how upset I was when Miles broke up with me, and Spencer’s a great guy, and I really care about him. I’m serious, Bowser, this isn’t some meaningless fling. He makes me happy and I think I make him happy, too. Isn’t that what matters?”</p><p>“If he fails his studies…”</p><p>“I’ll lock him in a room with his books and make sure he memorizes them front to back.”</p><p>“One bad grade,” Bowser replied, holding up a finger, “and I don’t want you seeing each other no more.”</p><p>“Aye aye, captain,” Blair smiled, saluting. “If he flunks, I’ll kick his ass myself.”</p><p>The woman on the stage unzipped her dress and…why were they here again? Oh right, the skip. But first, Sterling needed to know where the stripper got her lace lingerie from. The tantalizing matching red set was hard to look away from. Bills, Sterling should give the woman a handful of them to show appreciation for her talent.</p><p>“Hey,” Blair whispered in Sterling’s ear, “I’ve been thinking about what you said. Do you think April’s going to tell everyone at school?”</p><p>Sterling’s throat bobbed. April wouldn’t do that, would she? It hadn’t even occurred to Sterling her ex-bae might use her knowledge to blackmail her, but April was already Fellowship leader. What more could she want? Could Sterling trust the girl who seemed determined to burn down her world?</p><p>“No,” Sterling answered, voice thick with emotion. She had to follow her gut and most importantly, her heart. “She would have done so already if that was her endgame. She won’t sell us out, it’ll wreck her reputation, and you know how dramatic she can be.”</p><p>Sterling’s gaze shifted back to the stage, but she no longer saw the stripper showing off her moves. Instead, Sterling saw April, smiling at her. April smiled at her in Spanish class and in her car, blushing while she confessed to wanting to ravish Sterling. She shook her head, but everywhere she looked, it was all April, even when she closed her eyes.</p><p>They didn’t catch their skip that night. Sterling didn’t see his face in the crowd or anyone else’s, for that matter.</p><p>Except April’s, who’s voice Sterling heard left and right. A taste of heaven never felt so bittersweet. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know... no April/Sterling interactions in this chapter, but there's only so much I can push into a chapter and I'll make up for it soon enough.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re in my seat,” April hushed under her breath, standing there with her book clasped in her hands. “I thought we had a deal,” she reminded Luke, vividly recalling the cupcakes she bribed him with, which she baked and decorated herself.</p><p>April loathed spending time in the kitchen, but her mother taught her how to cook and bake ever since she knew how to hold the utensils. It was expected of her to know the ropes so she could become a perfect housewife someday. If April didn’t have to bite her tongue so much to fit in, she would express how redundant and dated it was for women to stay home to cook, clean, and take care of the children. She wanted a life with a partner who would support her decision to work and who would help her around the house, instead of pushing her into staying home where she wouldn’t have any independence.</p><p>But April spent a portion of her weekend baking because it made her mother happy. They even made a mess in the kitchen when her mother dropped an egg after April accidentally let one slip past her fingers. Her first instinct was to apologize and clean it up right away, as her father would have scolded her to do, but he wasn’t there anymore. She flinched for nothing when the egg connected with the floor. Her father was gone and her mother stated they had to clean up after either way.</p><p>April couldn’t remember the last time she made a mistake at home without receiving backlash.</p><p>“Um, about that…,” Luke replied, leaning back. His eyes flitted around for a moment. “I don’t like to sit in the front. It makes me feel watched and I didn’t comb my hair this morning. I’m sorry, April.”</p><p>Picking an argument right now wouldn’t go anywhere, April knew that. This wasn’t a debate and she didn’t want the teacher to meddle, reminding her chairs were assigned for a reason and pointing out she requested a front-row seat at the beginning of the school year.</p><p>April released a soft yet deep sigh. “Can’t trust anyone,” she mumbled as she stalked over to her familiar seat, right in front of Sterling, who followed her every move.</p><p>April wasn’t oblivious to Sterling’s glances and more often than she liked, their eyes met. She took out her notebook, paging through her sketches, pausing at the one she made yesterday. April gripped the top of the page and pressed her palm down against the back of the one before that. Her pulse quickened while her eyes took in her creation, although it was Sterling’s parents and God who deserved the credit for that one. April gasped when she felt it tear, unaware she tugged, but she must have.</p><p>She smoothed the paper as best as she could, inhaling a deep breath to steady herself while she found a blank page. Her pencil flowed across the paper as April drew the outlines of her next piece, leaving room for the roses she was going to add next, entwined with the branch. In the background, she heard her teacher citing information from a book she read front to back and back to front last summer. One of the students cleared their throat while another sighed with ten-second intervals. It would have been annoying if April didn’t have other things on her mind that distracted her.</p><p>April sketched the mark splayed out across the right side of her abdomen entirely from memory. It was engraved there, refreshed at the end of every day while she lied down in her bed, tracing it with the tip of her finger in the dim light of her nightlight. She spent minutes, if not hours at a time, curiously mapping it out with a smile on her face. The thought – no, the <em>knowledge</em> she had a soulmate, someone to stitch up the gaping hole in her heart, filled her stomach with butterflies. They fluttered there, flapping their wings, echoing words of hope in the back of April’s mind.</p><p>And then she thought of Sterling and the very intense feeling of <em>what if</em> that coursed through April’s veins. But there was a flicker of a doubt, too, shimmering amidst her dreams, burning them into oblivion. She mentally summoned the facts while she got started on the butterflies, drawing those beautiful free insects. Firstly, Sterling turned seventeen when the mark made itself present, and while it was possible April’s soulmate was another girl who just so happened to have her birthday on the same day as Sterling’s or a girl who turned eighteen or even nineteen that day, it seemed like an odd coincidence.</p><p>Then there was also the part where April had been half in love with Sterling since the fifth grade, a feeling which never fully left. It was always there, lingering, waiting for a spark to ignite the flame, which it did when Sterling boldly kissed her. April got a taste of what living her truth would be like and she wished she could have more, but she knew she had to bury her identity. They weren’t in the fifth grade anymore, where she could walk around holding Sterling’s hand without anyone turning it into a big deal.</p><p>April’s vision blurred as her mind took a trip down memory lane.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Once upon a time in fifth grade…</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“They turned and saw the lion himself,” April read, wiggling her legs back and forth as she sat on one of the swings with her favorite book in her lap, awed by the pictures printed on the pages, bringing the story to life. “So bright and real and so-”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Noooo!” Blair’s shouting voice carried across the field opposite from the swings. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>April looked up from her book and waved at Sterling, enthused as the Wesley girl moved her arms from left to right, turning it into a little dance while she twirled a circle followed by a not so smooth slide in the grass. April didn’t understand the appeal of running after a ball and occasionally kicking it, but she loved watching her best friend from afar, who threw her all into the game, passionate and ever so beautiful. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling’s hair was half up and half down, which April thought was pretty. She got distracted a lot whenever Sterling was near, not wanting to miss a thing. Sometimes, Sterling made silly faces that made April laugh, and catching a glimpse of Sterling’s smile made April want to cite poetry to her, but the words got tangled on her tongue whenever she tried and she needed it to be absolutely perfect for Sterling. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Butterflies erupted in April’s stomach when her best friend blew her a kiss. She stretched out her hand, careful not to drop her book as she swung forward to catch it, before placing her hand on her heart where she kept Sterling close. The sweet gesture meant the world to April, her cheeks burned knowing she was the only recipient of those small yet huge tokens of love. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>April turned her attention back to her book when the game resumed, talking in different voices to mimic the characters like her daddy did every night he read to her, although lately he was too busy with work and missed a couple of nights. But that was okay, April knew her father loved her and would do everything he could to make time for his family. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A soft breeze tickled April’s cheek while she sank deeper into the story. She loved spending time alone almost as much as she loved spending time with her best friend. There was a serene peacefulness to sitting someplace quiet with a good book, exploring extraordinary worlds. Physically, she was at school, sitting on one of the swings, but mentally she was in Narnia, meeting Aslan. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hey!” Sterling spoke, sounding somewhat out of breath. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hey to you, too.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>April smiled up at her best friend, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside when Sterling took her hand in hers. The taller girl pulled, setting a pace that was a little on the fast side, but April didn’t ask her to slow down because wherever it was burning, she was ready to face the flames together. She felt heat radiating from Sterling’s hand or was it her own? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her heart skipped a beat as April laced her fingers with Sterling’s, but when Sterling smiled, April squeezed softly and smiled right back at her. She could easily spend their entire break holding Sterling’s hand, swinging their arms back and forth while talking, or even better, listening to Sterling talk. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Did you score a goal?” April prompted, and while she had no personal interest in the game, she adored the way Sterling’s entire face lit up whenever that subject was brought up. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Only…that didn’t happen this time. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling heaved out a sigh. “I think we’re losing this game,” she answered, rolling her lips into her mouth. “It’s my fault we aren’t winning. I’m just…I don’t know.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’ll always be my champion, Sterl,” April replied, lifting Sterling’s hand up, pressing a quick kiss to her knuckles. “Always,” April whispered, drawing the word out to help her best friend realize she was being serious. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh!” Sterling uttered. “Before I forget, you can’t have dinner at my place, something came up.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>April spent all week looking forward to dinner with Sterling and her best friend never canceled on her before, but she wasn’t going to let that get her down so April said nothing. They were holding hands, nothing could ruin this day for her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Being wrong hurt more than April was willing to admit. She never saw it coming, not from her best friend. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Here,” Sterling suddenly announced with a huff, simultaneously pulling her hand away. The sudden loss untethered April, washing over her like a cold shower in the middle of winter, more so when Sterling added, “April’s in your group now,” before running back to go kick around that dumb ball. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>April felt a knife plunge itself into her heart, twisting as the situation became painfully clear. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Looks like Sterling grew tired of you,” one of the kids April was left with remarked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She doesn’t need a best friend,” another one chimed in, “she has Blair.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Good riddance,” April said, tightening her jaw. She couldn’t let anyone see her cry, she was a Stevens, and so she made herself ever so slightly taller and forced a smile onto her face. “I can’t stand spending another minute with her.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>April was brought back to the present when the bell rang. With a hushed groan, she got up from her seat, slinging her backpack over her shoulder as she went. She couldn’t make heads or tails out of whatever was said while she relived one of the worst moments of her life, but today she didn’t care. All that mattered was getting home so she could cuddle her cat and dig her spoon into the low-fat chocolate ice cream her mother kept in the freezer.</p><p>“Wait, April!” Sterling called out, tapping April on the shoulder.</p><p>April turned around. “What do you want?” she questioned, and she intended to bite, but her words came out tired.</p><p>“You, uh…here,” Sterling replied, holding out April’s notebook, “you forgot this.”</p><p>April grabbed her sketchbook, eyes round while her mind explored the possibility Sterling paged through it and saw the drawing April made of her. Everything in there was strictly private! On the somewhat bright side of yet another nightmare, worse people could have gotten their hands on it if Sterling hadn’t first.</p><p>“Thanks,” April sighed, foregoing a <em>‘don’t touch my personal items or I’ll strangle you’</em> lecture just this once.</p><p>“I didn’t see you at church yesterday,” Sterling spoke, rubbing her right arm with her left hand. “And you always go unless…Is, um, everything okay?”</p><p>April didn’t make it to church because her mother didn’t make it out of her bed until noon. The rumor mill could wait another week to get a whiff of her parents filing for divorce, although she had no doubt speculations were made during their absence.</p><p>“My mother felt a little under the weather,” April provided, “so we stayed home, though I don’t see how that concerns you.”</p><p>“Just…checking in.”</p><p>Right of course, because Sterling cared. Just like she cared so much about April when her father went to prison, when the whole time Sterling knew what happened. Was it ever really about April then? Did her feelings even matter? Or was Sterling asking simply to get an update?</p><p>April’s jaw hardened. “For my sake?” she questioned, narrowing her eyes. “Or for yours?”  </p><p>Sterling dropped her hands. She stared down for a second, bottom lip quivering before she looked back up. “April, look, about last week…,” she began, clasping her hands together, wringing her fingers. “I…”</p><p>“Save it,” April responded with a shake of her head. “Whatever it is you’re going to say, save it.”</p><p>“We need to talk. I can’t go on like this and I’m not leaving unless you look me in the eyes and…and…”</p><p>April remained in place. Looking Sterling in the eyes was hard enough the first time she had to say goodbye. April couldn’t muster the strength to handle it a second time. She saw the way Sterling’s eyes shone wetly; her kryptonite, the one thing that always made her weak.</p><p>But April hated ultimatums that forced her to do something she didn’t really want to do. She wasn’t comfortable in any position where she had her back up against the wall.</p><p>“My dad said you’re a bounty hunter,” April said, deciding she might as well throw it out there now. “He said you hit him with a gun. I didn’t want to believe him at first. Why would I when he has lied before?”</p><p>“I’m a bounty hunter,” Sterling admitted aloud.</p><p>April swallowed down a scoff, nodding. “I know he’s not perfect, but he’s my dad. I wanted to hate you, but I…Why did you do it, Sterling?”</p><p>“I’m a-”</p><p>“No,” April sighed. “Why <em>you</em>?”</p><p>“He beat up a prostitute. It wasn’t personal, April,” Sterling pointed out. “I would never intentionally hurt you.”</p><p>It might not have been personal, though it felt that way. April wished it would have been someone else, literally anyone other than the wonder twins. But what was done was done and it frustrated her that it didn’t bother her more. April knew precisely why it didn’t. If she had known what her father did, she would have turned him in herself.</p><p>“What about the fifth grade?” April pondered. “Did you intentionally hurt me then or did you lose a bet?”</p><p>“I didn’t give you away,” Sterling claimed, although April’s memory begged to differ. “You were my best friend,” Sterling added, coming closer, too close. “I don’t remember exactly what happened back then, but I do know I didn’t want to stop being friends.”</p><p>“I liked you so much,” Sterling continued. “You probably could have asked me out then and I think I might have said yes,” she confessed with a chuckle.</p><p>Maybe Sterling didn’t mean to share that thought, but there was a smile on her face that didn’t falter, which told April everything she needed to know. Sterling wasn’t kidding.</p><p>April’s eyes went round, mouth dry as she staggered back. She exhaled when Hannah B honked her car and called out to her. April tucked her notebook away, opened her mouth, and closed it as she spun on the heel of her foot to catch a ride with her current best friend.</p><p><em>‘I didn’t want to stop being friends. I liked you so much’</em>, Sterling’s words resonated as if they came right out of April’s own mouth. <em>‘You probably could have asked me out then and I think I might have said yes.’</em></p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welp...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Dana called.”</p><p>Sterling froze at the bottom of the stairs, fingers clutched around the handrail while her left foot was on the first step. If she had gone up to her room a bit faster, she could have avoided this until tomorrow morning and deal with it then. She already went through the effort of putting on her pajamas and brushing her teeth, but she went down for a glass of water, which she shouldn’t have.</p><p>“She said you went to see her not long ago,” her mother continued. “Why didn’t you tell us, Sterling?”</p><p>In hindsight, Sterling should have known she couldn’t trust her biological mother. Not that she made her promise not to tell anyone she was ever there, but she thought it was obvious she wasn’t supposed to, not behind her parents’ back anyway. Not after everything Dana put them through.</p><p>Sterling sucked in a deep breath before facing the parents who raised her. “I didn’t want you to worry,” she explained, eyes flitting back and forth between her father and her mother.</p><p>“We know you have questions, honey,” her mother sighed, smiling thinly.</p><p>“We aren’t angry you went to see her,” her father added, “but if you want to see her again, we need you to tell us first.”</p><p>That wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, likely never. Dana was a stranger who was different from everything Sterling knew. She wrung her hands together, wondering if her bio mom told her parents everything, including the fact she told her she was bisexual. One day, Sterling wanted her parents to know and come out to them, but not like this, not through someone else.</p><p>“I will,” Sterling promised, nodding. “Can I go to bed now?”</p><p>“Yes, you may go,” her mother answered.</p><p>“Good night,” Sterling said, turning back toward the stairs.</p><p>“Sterling,” her mother uttered. “Your father and I love you. You do know that, right?”</p><p>Sterling cast a smile over her shoulder. “I love you, too,” she responded as warmly as she could. “You’ll always be my parents,” she assured them because sometimes grown-ups needed reassurance too. “Good night, mom. Good night, dad.”</p><p>Her parents wished her good night and exhaling a breath, relaxing her shoulders, Sterling walked up to her bedroom. As far as she could tell, Dana kept her secret, but the idea she came close to her parents finding out made Sterling’s heart shoot all the way up in her throat. She wasn’t sure how they would react and while she hoped they would welcome the news with open arms and loving support, she wasn’t ready for the possibility they would be against her liking girls as well as boys, and make her sleep outside in the tent again.</p><p>God, Sterling was such an idiot. She thought her request to April was simple, but what if it wasn’t? April’s parents were possibly stricter than Sterling’s and April’s father was a criminal. If she could go back in time, Sterling would handle things differently instead of trying to convince April they should shout it from the rooftops.</p><p>“What took you so long?” Blair asked, poking her head out from underneath her blanket. “I missed you.”</p><p>Sterling slumped over to her bed. “Mom and dad happened,” she answered, plopping down, rolling onto her side so she could look at her sister. “They know I went to see Dana.”</p><p>“Yikes, sis,” Blair whispered, sitting up. “Did they ground you?”</p><p>“No, they just…I guess they were worried. But I don’t think Dana told them anything about, you know, my preferences,” Sterling shared, making an invisible rainbow above her head like the SpongeBob meme.</p><p>Blair nodded. “And you don’t want our parents to know you listen to girl in red.”</p><p>“Exactly,” Sterling confirmed with a smile. “Wait…you listened to the songs I sent you?”</p><p>“’ Course I did, you dummy. You always let me play music in the car, it’s the least I could do,” Blair shrugged. “Besides, I’m kind of curious about this stuff,” she added, wiggling her eyebrows while Sterling gaped at her. “I’m not saying I’m into girls,” Blair clarified, “but if I was single and a girl wanted to kiss me, I wouldn’t push her away. I’d let her lay one on me, just to see for myself what the fuss is about and if girls really do have softer lips.”</p><p>“God, they so do,” Sterling sighed dreamily. “They really, really do.”</p><p>And while Blair claimed she was only into boys – which Sterling didn’t necessarily doubt, her sister did sound bi-curious. Well, possibly. Only Blair could say what was and wasn’t true for her. Sterling wasn’t going to try and slot her sister into one label or another because it wasn’t her place and not everyone felt comfortable with that sort of thing.</p><p>“I want our parents to know someday,” Sterling reiterated. “But I want it to be on my terms.”</p><p>“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there for you,” Blair promised, crossing her finger over her heart. “I’ve got your back,” she whispered, snuggling under her sheets. “Good night, Sterl,” she mumbled around a yawn.</p><p>“Good night, Blair,” Sterling replied, switching off the light.</p><p>Within five minutes, Blair’s snores filled the room while Sterling was still wide awake.</p><p>Sterling stared at the ceiling while the day replayed in her head, in particular her conversation with April. Clearly, April was bothered by whatever happened in the fifth grade, but Sterling didn’t understand what on earth made April think she gave her away when she absolutely did no such thing. And how many times was Sterling supposed to apologize for that? She put her heart on her sleeve, confessed she like-liked April back then, even though that realization didn’t hit her until Sterling actually blurted it out.</p><p>But it was true. The more consideration she gave what she told April, the more Sterling knew in her heart she had feelings for April long before she figured out she was bisexual. But once again, April walked away and Sterling was so darn tired of her running when things got real.</p><p>Sterling shut her eyes and searched her memories for the moment that somehow destroyed her friendship with April and was still being held over her head. Sterling didn’t remember it the way April claimed it went down, but she did remember the last day they were friends before April gave her the cold shoulder and acted as if she was dead to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Once upon a time; six years ago…</em>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Nooooo! Come on, Ssssteeeerl,” Blair groaned, stomping her feet in the grass. “Stop gawking at April, you’ll make us lose the game.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling bit her lip. Had she been staring that much? It couldn’t have been more than usual, or maybe a little bit because April’s hair was different today. It was loose, with a single braid on the side, entwined with flowers, which made April ten times prettier when she smiled. Sterling couldn’t help but notice, considering April was set in her ways and generally kept her hair tied together in a ponytail. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But she’s sitting on the swings all by herself,” Sterling countered with a pout. “I should go play with her,” she weighed, fiddling with her hands. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You could invite her for a sleepover next weekend and play all those board games she likes so much,” Blair suggested. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Of course! April never turned down an opportunity to play monopoly or scrabble and she was really good at it, too. She had this poised finesse and the best poker face, especially when they decided to grab a deck of cards. Sterling, on the other hand, couldn’t muster a stoic look if her life depended on it because one raised brow from her best friend, and she was done for. There was something about April that always made her give in, but maybe that was just how friendships worked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling smiled at her sister’s brilliant idea, but she still felt bad her best friend just sat there while she was having all of the fun. She waved at April and performed a dance for her, pulling out some of her best moves. Well, her twirls weren’t great because she only went to ballet once when she was six, threw her tutu on the floor, and quit. Okay, technically she only did that after Blair did it first because if her sister wasn’t staying then neither was she. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But hey, at least Sterling got April to smile and that was all she wanted. Then again, she also wanted her best friend to enjoy recess, so there were really two things. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling scanned the area, mentally pumping her fist in the air when she spotted other groups of kids, playing different games. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’ll be right back,” Sterling told her sister. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s not like you have to hurry when we’re losing anyway,” Blair muttered. “Oh, and since you’re going over to April, don’t forget to tell her she can’t come over for dinner.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling frowned. “Why not?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tonight was spaghetti night, which Sterling arranged because April always grabbed tissues for her when she got sauce on her chin and she did the same for April. Her dinners with her best friend were special and Sterling hated the idea of having to miss out on one. Spaghetti also meant April would share some of her meatballs with Sterling so she could have more. April was sweet like that, always taking care of Sterling. They were going to be best friends forever or even longer, like Pooh and Piglet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Dinner with the in-laws…,” Blair explained, moving her hands around. “You know, our precious grandparents who think the earth is flat.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling snorted. “They don’t think that,” she countered, lightly smacking her sister on the arm. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t they though? They don’t even believe in climate change. Climate change, Sterl.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That part was unfortunately true, but family was family and they had good sides as well. When her father taught her how to shoot a gun, her grandfather helped a lot. Besides, they were old so who knew how much time they had left before God beamed them up into heaven? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling ran over to the swings and placed her hands on her knees to catch her breath. “Hey!” she greeted her best friend, smiling down at her, and God April looked so darn cute.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>April returned Sterling’s smile, closing her book while their eyes met. “Hey to you, too.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling’s hand shot out to take April’s, very much looking forward to sharing her solution, but as she trudged toward Jessica and her friends, part of Sterling wanted to ditch soccer and go someplace else with April, somewhere private so they could talk. She glimpsed at the shorter girl, thinking of telling April how pretty she was, but her stomach felt strange and she couldn’t get the words past her lips. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe she was coming down with the flu, although Sterling didn’t feel feverish. Her hand holding April’s was warm though, but that was probably just because skin on skin contact provided heat. Sterling’s stomach did a little flip when April wove her fingers between hers, and she quickly smiled at her best friend as to not alarm her. April was the type of person who would show up on Sterling’s doorstep with chicken soup and spoon-feed it to her until she felt better at the slightest hint of Sterling catching a cold. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>April was fussy that way, but mostly she was sweet and kind and caring, and a lot of other things Sterling could go on and on about. She saw April smile at her while giving her hand a squeeze, and in response, Sterling swung their arms back and forth. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Did you score a goal?” April questioned, which was fair considering she was probably feeling too sad before to watch the game. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling didn’t mind her best friend not knowing what went down on the field, but at the same time, she wished April would have stood on the sidelines to cheer her on and see her play. But April wasn’t into soccer, which Sterling knew and had to accept. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Releasing a deep breath, Sterling pushed down her thoughts. “I think we’re losing this game,” she answered, rolling her lips into her mouth. “It’s my fault we aren’t winning. I’m just…I don’t know.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling was distracted because she spent a large portion of the game observing April, wondering what went on in April’s head. But she didn’t want to tell her best friend that, lest she made it sound like April was to blame when she wasn’t. Sterling was the one who fumbled the ball, nobody else. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’ll always be my champion, Sterl.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling’s ears burned. She tried to form words such as thanks or how it meant a lot to her, but then April kissed the back of her hand with a soft ‘always,’ and suddenly Sterling’s pulse decided to run a marathon, stealing the breath from her lungs. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh God, Sterling’s head spun. She should have eaten a banana this morning because clearly she was running low on energy and her body didn’t appreciate it one bit. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh!” Sterling uttered now that she was thinking about food. “Before I forget, you can’t have dinner at my place, something came up.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>April didn’t say anything, not verbally at least. She glanced at her shoes for a minute, chest heaving while she breathed in and out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>No, no, no! Sterling wanted April to be happy, to smile and laugh, and to have fun. And God, what was going on with her stomach? Sterling had the strangest feeling like there was something in there, moving around, making it tough for her to concentrate. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Here,” Sterling said, huffing out a breath when they reached Jessica. She let go of April’s hand, smiling. “April’s in your group today,” Sterling explained before turning away to play soccer. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling jogged toward the field, but her mind kept traveling back to April. Despite having fixed the issue, Sterling felt gloomy to be away from her best friend.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling cupped her hands around her mouth. “Have fun!” she yelled at her best friend, hoping her voice carried far enough to deliver the message. “Love you!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Geez, Sterl,” Blair chuckled, “we could be triplets if you two become any closer.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I do have enough room in my heart for another sister. And April isn’t a handful like you, plus she smells way better. Oh and, she won’t stretch out my clothes unlike you because she’s so tiny.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling ducked her head at the image of April wearing her shirt while her cheeks began to hurt from smiling so much. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We’re twins,” Blair shrugged, “sharing’s our thing. Su closet es mi closet.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just because they literally shared a closet didn’t mean Blair had to rummage through Sterling’s clothes. It was sort of her own fault though, considering their parents offered them separate bedrooms on more than once occasion and she kept rejecting their offer, as did Blair. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Fine, you can wear my clothes, but I’m not sharing April,” Sterling decided. “She’s my bestie. We’re going to grow old and gray together, live next to each other – with you as my other neighbor of course – and our kids will be best friends.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Err, Sterl…your face is seriously red right now,” Blair pointed out with a frown. “Are you having a heatstroke?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sterling placed the back of her hand against her forehead. “I think I might have a fever,” she sighed, touching her cheeks which felt hotter than they should. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The memory faded away, its shadow retreating as Sterling hurtled back toward the present where she was in her bed, still struggling to sleep. In some way, it was all because of April who kept running circles in Sterling’s thoughts.</p><p>Sterling bit her lip. If April genuinely wanted to avoid her, then why did April draw her? Sterling knew she shouldn’t have looked through April’s sketchbook without her permission, but she was curious to get another glimpse of April’s talent. And that piece wasn’t the only one which caught Sterling’s attention. She saw butterflies and roses and God, it was her, wasn’t it?</p><p>“Psst, Blair,” Sterling whispered while she snuck out of her bed and into her sister’s. “Blair,” she tried, stirring Blair’s shoulder.</p><p>Blair rolled over, exhaling audibly. “Hmmph?” she responded, rubbing her eyes.</p><p>“Can we talk? I think I know who my soulmate is.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There will be April/Sterling interactions in the next chapter. ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Read this at your own peril ~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>April was nothing if not determined once she set her mind to something. And with an important event coming up, she had to seize the opportunity to make it memorable. She didn’t spend the past couple of days sneaking decorations into her locker just to give up on her idea.</p><p>“I’ll lock up when I leave,” April promised Ellen with a sweet smile, accepting the keys from her. “Prepping the materials for our next fellowship meeting won’t take long.”</p><p>“Are you sure you don’t need help, sweetie?”</p><p>April shook her head. “I got this.”</p><p>Ellen was the last person she needed help from right now.</p><p>“I’ll help,” Sterling piped up.</p><p>Or maybe second to last.</p><p>God, how hard was it for Sterling to take a message? By now, April expected Sterling to move on, but it wasn’t entirely surprising either Sterling just had to be stubborn. Ever since the lock-in, all April did was hurt Sterling and while it was debatable Sterling caused her pain in the past, April wasn’t out to get even. She took no pleasure in making Sterling cry or hearing her voice break.</p><p>“Okay,” April nodded. “Thanks.”</p><p>After her revelation four days ago, April wasn’t sure how to feel about being alone with Sterling. April bit her tongue when the first thought on her mind was the lock on the door and the fact everyone else was leaving to go enjoy their weekend. Even Blair made a dash for the exit rather than shadowing her sister. April couldn’t allow her thoughts to wander there, but it was impossible to forget the way kissing Sterling made her feel.</p><p>“My two superstars reunited once more,” Ellen spoke, reaching for their hands.</p><p>April almost laughed when Ellen urged her to hold hands with Sterling, something they were both reluctant to do when they were prepping for the debate yet couldn’t do at a later time when they actually wanted to. Now, however, April felt uncertain whether she should stick to a polite shake or linger a few seconds more, toeing the line between friendly and flirty. She didn’t want to squeeze too hard and she hoped she wasn’t sweating.</p><p>Since when did something as basic as a handshake become so complicated anyway? You’d think the manual for these sorts of things was imprinted in her brain.</p><p>April’s skin burned when her palm fit into Sterling’s. The sensation was similar to what she felt the night the ink appeared, but it hurt differently. April savored what little seconds of freedom she had until Sterling’s hand slipped away from hers. If only April had searched for an excuse to do this at the lock-in so they both could have been spared the heartache.</p><p>Ellen left not a moment too soon while at the same time, April wished she would have stayed to act as her human shield. Maybe she could text Hannah B and convince her to hang out so she wouldn’t be stuck with Sterling.</p><p>April mentally shook herself. She was being ridiculous. She spent half of her life hiding her feelings; she could survive an hour alone with the recipient of said feelings.</p><p>“No bounties tonight?” April commented while she walked into Ellen’s office.</p><p>When Sterling kissed her in there, weeks ago, it sent a jolt through April’s body, awakening her heart. She didn’t think a girl would ever look at her as if she held up the moon, but Sterling did. Just being in there together again made April’s fingers tingle, remembering the keys she dropped when Sterling’s lips met hers.</p><p>April thought it was a cruel joke at first, that somehow Sterling found out her secret and played a trick on her. But then Sterling apologized and her theory collapsed. April could have walked away back then if she had just kept going, but her heart overpowered her mind that day, and now they were at war again.</p><p>“I know you lied to Ellen,” Sterling stated matter-of-factly. “You were tucking your hair behind your ear and you only do that when you’re nervous, which means you lied.”</p><p>“Ellen’s birthday is coming up and I can’t surprise her with the truth. It’s not a sin to tell a white lie.”</p><p>Sterling nodded, her eyes not quite leaving April as she followed closely behind her.</p><p>“Why bounty hunting?” April pondered. “I know you’re good with a gun, or so I’ve heard, but God, do you have to seek out danger?”</p><p>“I don’t see how this concerns you, April,” Sterling poked with a lopsided smile.</p><p>April bit back a groan. “Do you have to be so insufferably cheeky?” she exclaimed without meaning to, voicing her thoughts.</p><p>“There’s no point in bringing that up if you’re not going to do anything about it.”</p><p>April knew it was a coy trick, but it did a number on her anyway. She glanced at Sterling’s lips, tempted by desire to close the gap between them and turn Sterling into a whimpering mess. April loved it when Sterling challenged her, although it was rather inconvenient when she had a task to take care of.</p><p>“You shouldn’t play with fire,” April cautioned. “We both know how that turns out.”</p><p>“If you can sit next to me for five minutes, I’ll tell you why I’m a bounty hunter.”</p><p>Sterling hopped onto the desk, smiling while she patted the space next to her.</p><p>“Fine,” April sighed. “You have five minutes,” she agreed, placing her hands on the desk, jumping to give herself a push to get up there.</p><p>Feeling Sterling’s thigh pressed against hers was not how April imagined this evening would go, but if she couldn’t have it all, then at least she could have any crumbs she could get. That was why she said nothing when Sterling angled her body in her direction and put a hand on April’s knee, which she believed to be a subconscious gesture.  </p><p>Sterling talked about the first bounty she caught, which apparently was called a skip, and how she met Bowser, who gave her and Blair a job because they needed money to fix their father’s truck. April listened as Sterling explained the people she went after, including April’s father.</p><p>“I wish you’d wear a bulletproof vest,” April confessed, her voice a mere whisper. “It would kill me if…” She shook her head, unable to bring herself to jinx it.</p><p>God forbid anything ever happened to Sterling. It was bad enough she got abducted by that deranged woman who turned out to be her biological mother, though April knew she couldn’t pin that one on bounty hunting when she was the reason Sterling ended up outside, accepting what she thought was a ride home from her mother. April’s mind conjured the worst scenarios and her heart shattered knowing Sterling clung to her for comfort after it all went down, while Sterling had every right to hate April for putting her in danger.</p><p>“Hey,” Sterling uttered, caressing April’s cheek, “I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>April covered Sterling’s hand with her own, leaning in until they were nose to nose. With this kind of distraction, April didn’t see how she was going to get anything done.</p><p>“I answered your question,” Sterling stated, “so I want to ask you one.”</p><p>April’s throat bobbed, but it was a fair request. She gave the slightest nod, eyes locked on Sterling’s while they joined hands on April’s lap. She wasn’t sure how they got there or why, and quite frankly, it didn’t matter. There was nobody around to burst their bubble. For five bloody minutes, she was allowed to let herself be without looking over her shoulder.  </p><p>She had to give herself room to breathe. Hiding who she was suffocated April more with each passing day. She hated herself for living a lie, for pretending to be something she wasn’t. But what choice did she have?</p><p>“Hmm, what do I want to know…,” Sterling mumbled. “What do I-”</p><p>April ran the pad of her finger across Sterling’s lower lip, kicking herself in the foot for her weakness. It was as Lexa from the 100 said, but her words didn’t hold up when her heart surrendered itself to Clarke. April wanted to believe there was strength in refusing to feel, so that maybe…just maybe, there would be no more pain. She didn’t know how much longer she could survive her inner turmoil unless she found a way to silence her innermost feelings.</p><p>Sterling sighed softly. “Do I get two questions if I let you ask another one?”</p><p>“Sterl…,” April replied, lips curling up into a smile before she could stop herself.</p><p>“What are your plans tomorrow?”</p><p>“That’s what took you five minutes to ask?” April scoffed, shaking her head with a bemused smile.</p><p>“Four,” Sterling whispered. “But who’s counting?” she hummed, reaching out to tuck a stray lock of April’s hair behind her ear.</p><p>The walls were suddenly too close, narrowing further while April tried to think about anything other than closing the gap between them. And when she couldn’t, when her lips strayed dangerously close to Sterling’s, April had to get away before her heart gave out.</p><p>“Decorations,” April uttered, half-stumbling off the desk. In her haste, she nearly dropped the keys. “The decorations are in my locker.”</p><p>“I’ll give you a hand.”</p><p>She stepped out into the hallway, pulling her phone from her pocket when it dinged. April unlocked her screen, swallowing as she read the text. It was from her father, letting her know he missed her, asking her how she was doing. Her fingers hovered over the keys while she tried to come up with a reply other than telling her father to leave her alone.</p><p>“Hey,” Sterling uttered, placing a hand on April’s shoulder, causing April to flinch unintentionally. Sterling backed away a couple of inches, her eyes apologizing as she went. “Are you okay?”</p><p>April raised her chin. “Why wouldn’t I be?”</p><p>If the next words flying out of Sterling’s mouth were that she saw the message, April was going to give her a lengthy lecture on boundaries. She had a bad taste on her tongue at the thought of berating Sterling while April knew the taller girl cared about her. It was pretty much one of Sterling’s default settings to be compassionate and sweet.</p><p>“You, uh…you got a text and then you sort of walked by your locker,” Sterling answered, pointing in the general direction they came from, toward the row of lockers which included April’s.</p><p>April released the air from her lungs along with the tension in her shoulders. “It’s my dad,” she revealed, not wanting to lie, although that was just the tip of the iceberg. “My parents are getting a divorce, so he moved out. That’s why I skipped church.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Sterling uttered, moving forward. “Can I…? Is this okay?” she checked, holding her arms out, half a foot from April’s.</p><p>Looking in all directions confirmed nobody else was in the building, so once April made sure of that, she accepted Sterling’s embrace. Sterling’s arms wrapped around April and it felt like coming home. She burrowed her face in Sterling’s neck, standing on her toes.</p><p>It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but it was better than when April curled up in her sheets, alone. She hadn’t realized how deeply she missed being this close to Sterling, to hold on to her without reservations. April needed more of this, more of Sterling anchoring her when she felt like she became a shadow of who she used to be.</p><p>“The worst part of it all is I’m happy he’s gone,” April laughed, though on the inside a dam of tears threatened to break and cause a flood. “But at the same time, I’m not. Does that make me crazy?”</p><p>“You are many things, but crazy isn’t one of them. You’re the soberest, clear-minded person I know and your emotions might feel like they’re out of whack, though that doesn’t mean you’re nuts. It’s possible to love and hate someone at the same time.”</p><p>April gently untangled herself from Sterling, nodding at her words. The line between love and hate was thin, April knew that all too well, and she wondered if Sterling felt both for her. In the past, April felt both for Sterling, although she wasn’t entirely certain she ever hated Sterling. April pretended to, for six years, but her heart disagreed with her mind.</p><p>“Don’t stare at my hands,” April urged as she reached her locker. “It makes me nervous.”</p><p>A small smile appeared on Sterling’s face, but instead of using this golden opportunity to act all smug, she turned around. April scrolled the digits on her lock and once it clicked open, she quickly changed them before Sterling noticed the numbers matched her birthday.</p><p>April chose that combination six years ago and never managed to bring herself to change it, fearing if she gave up on the small pieces she had left of Sterling, she would lose her completely. Heartbroken or not, April kept the photographs they took together when they were much younger, including the friendship bracelet Sterling made for her out of yarn, which she kept in a small safe under her bed.</p><p>In the fifth grade, when their friendship came to an end, April claimed she burned everything. She wasn’t supposed to be sentimental; her family wasn’t like that, although her mother did have a mental breakdown while looking through the wedding albums not long ago. April always believed she was just like her father, but she didn’t want to be cold and callous.</p><p>“Are you going to help or not?” April sighed, picking up one of the two boxes stacked on top of one another.</p><p>Sterling guffawed. “You told me not to stare,” she pointed out while she faced April. “I thought you liked it when people listened,” Sterling whispered, grabbing the box from April instead of going for the other one, which resulted in her fingers grazing April’s.</p><p>“I changed my mind,” April stated, smiling as she hoisted up the second box. “It’s allowed.”</p><p>“Are you talking about me staring or you changing your mind? Because your communication skills haven’t been the best lately,” Sterling countered with a casual and swift deliverance.</p><p>Okay now that hurt. April knew she spent more time running away than speaking her mind, but she wasn’t made out of stone. And she did communicate plenty when they were together, which Sterling would have noticed if she had listened rather than being stuck on cloud nine. April told Sterling her parents were bigots, she made it perfectly clear she couldn’t come out to them.</p><p>“Why don’t you go ahead and ask what it really is you want to ask me,” April said when they returned to Ellen’s office.</p><p>Sterling put the box down with a huff. “So you can avoid that question, too?” she replied, but this time her voice was softer and she smiled.</p><p>“Fair enough,” April admitted, deciding she could let the taller girl have this one.</p><p>April unpacked the decorations, sighing at the bag of glitter which somehow got torn and spread everywhere. The dangly boy at the gift shop was wrong when he insisted a party required something sparkly, but it was too late to return it now. April would have to make do.</p><p>“I might do some spring cleaning tomorrow,” April explained, and she knew it wasn’t thrilling or fun, but neither was her life.</p><p>The paper garlands were thankfully not tangled, though they were longer than April thought they would be. Huh, she needed the extra set of hands after all. She grabbed one end of the first one, pushing the other end in Sterling’s waiting hands.</p><p>“I’m not sure yet what I’m going to do tomorrow,” Sterling shared while she helped decorate the place.</p><p>April reached into the bottom of the boxes for the balloons. God, her cheeks were going to be so sore by the time she headed home. Despite that knowledge, she wasn’t going to quit.</p><p>“No skips?” April queried, equal parts surprised and relieved.</p><p>“You make it sound as if that’s all I do in my spare time,” Sterling answered, snatching up a green balloon.</p><p>April sucked in the deepest breath her lungs could handle, spluttering when Sterling erupted in a fit of laughter.</p><p>“What?” April huffed, placing her hands on her hips.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Sterling chuckled, poking April’s cheeks. “You reminded me of a hamster. It’s not my fault you’re adorable,” Sterling awed, so close the smell of her perfume overwhelmed April’s senses.</p><p>It was illegal how good Sterling smelled. Jean-Paul Gaultier would be proud. April felt drawn to Sterling and when her lips touched the corner of Sterling’s, she wasn’t sure which one of them gasped.</p><p>April jumped back, muted in her fever-riddled actions. She all but tossed the keys on the desk, spun on her heel, and hurried out the door. Her legs felt like jelly, yet she kept going, hurtling herself out of the building.</p><p>Behind her, she heard Sterling panting and God, there was a time where she would have sold her soul to be chased by the girl of her dreams.</p><p>But tonight, April feared she broke their bond beyond repair. She already received more chances than she deserved to be on friendly terms with Sterling and she blew them all up.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“April, stop! Just…stop!”</p><p>Internally, Sterling still battled whether she wanted to hug April or push her away once and for all. The constant back and forth put too much of a strain on Sterling’s heart. She couldn’t go on having feelings for someone who seemed all in one minute and ran out the next. It wasn’t right. She deserved clarity.</p><p>April had no business almost kissing her only to get cold feet just when Sterling started to think there was a spark of hope. She wanted to ask if April had feelings for her or if she thought about kissing her as much as Sterling thought of kissing her, but she didn’t want to spook April, which in the end was a lost effort.</p><p>“I don’t speak mixed signals!” Sterling blurted out, exhaling an exasperated breath, on the verge of telling Speedy Gonzales to go fuck herself. “You care so much about the truth yet you keep lying, to me and to yourself. I…look, I…I saw your sketches, okay? I know you can’t stop thinking about me because I can’t stop thinking about you either.”</p><p>April slowed, shoes skidding to a stop on the concrete. Sterling noticed the rise and fall of April’s chest, even as the shorter girl stood with her back toward her. Sterling saw the way April’s shoulders slumped and how whatever fight she thought of having left her.</p><p>Sterling took April’s hand, tugging gently until she saw her face, somewhat hidden by the dark clouds and the lack of sunlight. April’s cheeks glistened, knocking the wind right out of Sterling’s lungs. But she chose to bite the bullet, for both of them.</p><p>“When you told me you’re a lesbian, you said it’s a fait accompli,” Sterling recalled like it happened yesterday. “This,” she said while she lifted April’s polo along with her blouse to reveal the strip of her stomach where her mark was hidden, “is a done deal, too.”</p><p>Sterling paused a second to breathe in, eyes wet with relief that she was right. April was the one and if their friendship had lasted, Sterling would have realized that a lot sooner. But everything happened for a reason and God knew what he was doing.</p><p>“You can run away all you want,” Sterling continued, sincerely wishing April didn’t, “but you know we’re meant to be together. You know, I know, and God knows. And God doesn’t make mistakes. We were born this way.”</p><p>April cocked her head to the side. “Are you quoting Lady Gaga to me?”</p><p>“You know Lady Gaga?”</p><p>“It’s Ezekiel’s thing,” April answered with a wave of her hand.</p><p>“Oh,” Sterling whispered, but she shook her head because she didn’t come here to talk about music. “April, I lov-”</p><p>April lifted her index finger to Sterling’s lips. “Don’t,” April demanded with a sharp yet shaky voice. “Don’t say it, just… please.”</p><p>“Why not? I know you feel it too. I can tell from the way you look at me. And when we kissed…that couldn’t have been a lie.”</p><p>“I’m not ready, Sterl. I’m not as brave as you are.”</p><p>Sterling almost voiced a response, but they already had a debate about this once and she couldn’t go through the heartbreak again. “I won’t convince you to love me,” she decided with a heavy heart, and while everything inside of her felt unsteady and ripped apart at the seams, her voice didn’t waver. “Maybe God made a mistake after all,” she uttered when in her heart of hearts, she knew that couldn’t be.</p><p>The sky cracked open above them, allowing Sterling the chance to hide her tears in the rain. She turned around on the heel of her foot and shuddered, picking up a quick pace. If she walked any faster, it would be considered running. She hugged her arms around herself, screaming on the inside as she neared her car. When she finally got there, her keys slipped from her trembling fingers.</p><p>What was the point of having a soulmate if said soulmate wasn’t interested in being together? And if the timing wasn’t right, then why did the mark appear after Sterling turned seventeen instead of waiting until her eighteenth or even her nineteenth birthday? It was as though the universe gave them a nudge to restore their connection and rebuild it stronger than ever, but Sterling kept bumping into the wall April hid behind.</p><p>Sterling’s left hand shot down to pick up her keys when someone grabbed her wrist. Slender but warm fingers rested firmly against her skin. She looked up, releasing an involuntary gasp when April’s eyes swam in sight.</p><p>Bit by bit, the rain drenched them both, pouring down without relenting. There was a storm coming, no doubt, although Sterling wasn’t certain which direction it would come from. She couldn’t move or speak, feeling her heart pound in her chest while she watched droplets drip down April’s face. Those green eyes, bright and soft with specks of something akin to sunshine stared into Sterling’s soul, wrapping themselves around Sterling’s heart.</p><p>Sterling didn’t care how slow April was ready to go as long as she was willing to move forward, together. That was all Sterling needed, a sign of hope, even if it meant holding April’s hand in the janitor’s closet in between classes while pretending to hate each other among their peers. But Sterling wasn’t going to beg for a sliver of affection, not anymore.</p><p>“I’m not ready, I can’t be,” April spoke, lifting her free hand up to Sterling’s cheek. It was completely unfair, April knew how Sterling’s maxilla went numb just thinking about April. “I can’t fully show it yet, not in the way you want me to, but I do love you. I’ve loved you since the fifth grade.”</p><p>Sterling nearly launched herself forward, but she wasn’t ready for April to take it back. It wasn’t fair she couldn’t say it when April could, although Sterling wasn’t bothered by April asserting some dominance because that was one of the things she liked so much about April in the first place.</p><p>Sterling’s focus shifted to the sentiment, to April admitting her feelings. It was somewhat hilarious to Sterling how they were both idiots, though she couldn’t bring herself to laugh. Six years' worth of feelings, bottled up while Sterling was stuck in the longest winter sleep ever. Meanwhile, April spent all that time yearning. God, Sterling couldn’t imagine how horrible that must have been or how many times April dreamed of kissing her, without acting on her feelings.</p><p>Sterling fumbled with her keys, remembering the icky weather. “Get in, you’re soaked,” she said as she unlocked her car, wondering if she had a spare shirt in the trunk.</p><p>April grabbed the door, fingers rapping against the frame while her eyes scanned the seats. Then, she studied every inch of the parking lot, painstakingly slow, even though it was empty.</p><p>“It’s just us,” Sterling reminded the shorter girl.</p><p>That finally got April to move, crawling onto the backseat. Sterling followed with a shiver, pulling the door shut behind her. She wriggled herself between the front seats, turning on the heater, before settling in the back with April, who clamped her hands around her upper arms.</p><p>Of all the days Sterling forgot to bring a jacket, it had to be today. She spotted a gym bag on the floor, however, and snatched it up with a victorious smile.</p><p>“It doesn’t smell fresh…,” Sterling explained while she fished out the shirt with their school’s logo printed on the front. “But at least it’s dry.”</p><p>“You should wear it.”</p><p>Sterling shook her head. “I’m warm-blooded.”</p><p>April’s fingers toyed with the hem of her polo. “Can I see yours?” she asked, biting her lip while her eyes stopped at Sterling’s stomach.</p><p>“Oh, right, duh,” Sterling laughed lightly, hoisting up her own polo and blouse this time.</p><p>“It really is you,” April whispered, eyes filled with awe while she traced the mark with a cold finger. “Warm-blooded, hm?” she mused, chuckling when Sterling shrieked.</p><p>Sterling’s face felt hot, so there was that. “And ticklish,” she admitted, swatting April’s hands away, though at the same time she wanted April closer.</p><p>“God, I love you,” April breathed out, cheeks coloring. She averted her eyes and sucked her lips into her mouth, plucking at the shirt Sterling gave her.</p><p>Sterling sighed softly. “He’s one lucky dude,” she commented, nodding, pointing up.</p><p>April balled up the shirt and tossed it at Sterling, who objected with a “hey!”</p><p>“I was talking to you,” April laughed, shaking her head. “I love --!” She clamped her mouth shut, shifting to lean against the window, wrinkling her nose when Sterling held out the shirt.</p><p>Sterling wondered if April refused to put it on because she wanted Sterling to be warm first, just like Sterling wanted April to be comfortable, or if April struggled with the idea of dressing down to her bra to get changed. Sterling hadn’t considered the latter until now, basically because Blair changed shirts in the car plenty of times, without batting an eye.</p><p>“Me too,” Sterling murmured while the rain pattered against the rooftop of her car. Blair called it heart-eyes and she wasn’t wrong. “I love you,” Sterling voiced out loud, “and I think it’s been since the fifth grade for me, too.”</p><p>Sterling chucked the shirt in the passenger’s seat, scooting toward April for a much more pleasant smell and the heat of her skin, which was very much there despite her cold fingers. Little by little, Sterling inched her hand closer, bumping her pinkie against April’s, exhaling a breath when April not only welcomed the touch but also returned it by turning Sterling’s palm upward, tracing the lines there.</p><p>The rain came down harder, making it impossible to look out of the window and see anything other than the rain itself dribbling down the glass. Sterling wasn’t a fan before, but right now she felt like thanking God for giving her this private moment with April.</p><p>Sterling wished she could slow time to turn minutes into hours, anything to make this night last longer. The weather wasn’t going to stop April from going home eventually and at some point, Sterling had to leave as well.</p><p>April moved her hand up and down Sterling’s arm in a light caress and Sterling imagined this was what a touch of an angel felt like. She wished she could capture this moment and live in it forever, relishing in the warmth of the intimacy between them, picking up the pieces right where they left them.</p><p>“Did it hurt when your mark appeared?” Sterling pondered, chewing the inside of her cheek.</p><p>April shut her eyes, worked her jaw, and wrung her head to the side. “Yes,” she answered, lifting her chin, eyelids fluttering open.</p><p>“It hurt for me, too,” Sterling shared, “but it wasn’t the worst pain I’ve ever experienced.”</p><p>If she could swallow her tongue whole now, that would be great. Sterling knew it didn’t take a genius to find out what pained her deeper and April knew how to put two plus two together.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” April and Sterling said at the same time.</p><p>Sterling smiled, in awe of the dimples forming in April’s cheeks. “Cute,” Sterling breathed out, poking April’s dimples.</p><p>April narrowed her eyes, which honestly just made her more adorable. “Shush,” she hushed, placing a single finger against Sterling’s lips.</p><p>“Okay, but I still think you’re cute.”</p><p>“Sometimes I’m not sure what I see in you,” April whispered, smiling throughout her words. But then her face crumpled faster than a piece of paper about to be tossed into a bin. “What-” She stopped and sighed, inhaling so deeply Sterling wondered if she was going to pass out before she had a chance to breathe out.</p><p>April exhaled in short puffs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What is it you see in me?” she questioned, her eyes so earnest and fragile Sterling wanted to wrap her up in a blanket and protect her forever.</p><p>Aside from the obvious part of April being her soulmate, there were plenty of things Sterling saw in her. She reached her hands up once more, cradling April’s face, smiling at her. Sterling’s mind raced with everything April, but she knew April needed to hear her say it out loud, to strip away the cloud of insecurity looming above her.</p><p>“Well, for one, you’re beautiful,” Sterling began, pouring her heart and the very essence of her soul into her words. “You’re so beautiful it takes my breath away and makes my head spin all at once. And you’re smart, like crazy smart. You always come up with the best ideas for projects and your finesse, the way you handle materials is unmatched. I love how fierce you are, yet underneath there’s this caring person who puts other people’s needs above her own. I also like the way you dress, although I guess you’d look great in anything, even if it’s a paper bag.”</p><p>April chuckled, her eyes bright and vibrant, stared into Sterling’s.</p><p>“A-and your hair,” Sterling continued, breath catching when April got rid of her hair-tie, locks cascading down her shoulders in waves.</p><p>“Like this?” April checked, smirking.</p><p>Sterling gulped. “Yes!” she squeaked, eyes wide while April’s hands settled on her shoulders, very much aware of the way April leaned in.</p><p>“A-April,” Sterling croaked, struggling with the torture of April teasing her.</p><p>“Sterl,” April replied, nudging Sterling’s nose with hers.</p><p>Every fiber in Sterling’s body tried to propel her forward, to close the two inches between her lips and April’s, electrified in the heat of the moment. But she didn’t move. Sterling stayed rooted in place, waiting, hoping April would take the leap this time.</p><p>April’s breath mingled with Sterling’s while neither of them moved.</p><p>“Why do you intoxicate me so?” April whispered.</p><p>Sterling huffed. “How do you think I feel?”</p><p>April traced the contours of Sterling’s face with the pad of her finger as if memorizing it all, slow and a little shaky in her otherwise steady exterior. Sterling’s mind jumped back to the fifth grade, when they went on a school trip, wandered off to sit on a bench, and time ceased to exist for two blissful hours.</p><p>Outside, the sky was darker than it was when they got in the car and the rain no longer came down in buck loads. Sterling was halfway tempted to pray for a storm, but it was all in April’s hands now.</p><p>“I didn’t start drawing until the sixth grade,” April shared out of the blue, and oh, maybe that was why she mapped Sterling’s face so carefully.</p><p>“What inspired you?”</p><p>Sterling wanted to know all of April, every nook and cranny and hidden part. She wanted to know April the way dancers knew their routine with their eyes closed, down to the littlest of details, guided by the rhythm of their heart. No information was insignificant, not when April was the one sharing a piece of herself, shining a light into the room behind that wall of hers.</p><p>“This is going to sound cheesy…,” April mumbled, dropping her hands one second, lifting them the next to tuck her hair behind her ears. “If you tell anyone…”</p><p>Sterling sighed, though she wasn’t frustrated, not because of that at least. “Knock knock.”</p><p>April’s brows wrinkled. “Who’s there?”</p><p>“It’s me, your soulmate,” Sterling answered with a smile.</p><p>“You’re such an idiot,” April chuckled. “My idiot,” she added, barely audible, exhaling.</p><p>“I know trust isn’t easy to come by,” Sterling reasoned, on a more serious note. “But whenever you’re ready to take the leap, I’ll be there to catch-”</p><p>April’s lips pressed against Sterling’s, soft and searching at first, whimpering when Sterling registered what happened and kissed back. Sterling released a throaty moan as April nipped at her skin, the sound swallowed by their kiss deepening, tongues circling one another. Sterling explored every crevice of April’s mouth, searing it into her brain, not caring how hard it became to breathe.</p><p>Sterling felt April melting into her, hands roaming to weave through April’s hair, nails scraping her scalp, while April’s hands gripped the back of Sterling’s neck. Lips overlapped lips, full of passion and desire, and Sterling felt the rest of her body awaken, gravitating toward April. Heat coiled low in Sterling’s belly while she surrendered herself to April, letting her set the pace, chasing her lips with the same fever as April chased hers.</p><p>Their kiss abruptly came to an end when they both gasped. Sterling scrambled to look at her stomach while April did the same, chests heaving. There was no burning sensation and no pain, but something felt different.</p><p>“The…the butterflies a-and…,” Sterling managed, comparing her mark with April’s. “They’re in color now,” Sterling observed, rendered speechless at the abstract beauty of her tattoo seemingly coming to life.</p><p>There was purple and blue with a swirl of pink in varying shades and under her watchful gaze, the entire branch filled in with color, and it tickled like when she found caterpillars as a kid and had them crawl around her fingers. It was something truly incredible to behold and Sterling loved she got to share it with April.</p><p>Smiling from ear to ear, Sterling leaned in for another kiss, encouraged by the blessing of God himself.</p><p>“I can’t,” April said, sighing against Sterling’s lips.</p><p>“April…”</p><p>“I can’t do this in the light where others might see,” April explained. “But I can love you in the dark. I don’t expect it to be enough, but if you’re willing to wait until I’m ready to take the next step, I can be with you in private.”</p><p>It should have been enough the first time they were together and Sterling couldn’t even begin to express how much she wanted this. She would do anything to hold April’s hand when nobody else was around and to kiss her like the rest of the world ceased to exist for a while. April didn’t need to shout their love from the rooftops as long as she whispered it to Sterling, preferably once or twice every day.</p><p>Sterling nodded. “I do have one condition.”</p><p>“You want to tell Blair.”</p><p>Sterling could argue her sister already knew about her mark and pretty much everything else because she didn’t keep any secrets from Blair, or how having someone know about them could benefit their relationship, but she didn’t want to voice an essay for her reasonable request. Blair wasn’t going to tell anyone, Sterling was willing to bet her life on it, positive her sister would never spread a rumor about her.</p><p>“Please,” Sterling uttered in the small confined space of the backseat of her car. One syllable, whispered gently into April’s ear, lips brushing her skin before Sterling planted a kiss on April’s jaw.</p><p>April’s breath hitched. “Say that again,” she demanded, knotting her fingers in Sterling’s moist polo, pushing Sterling deeper into the cushions, moving to straddle her lap.</p><p>Sterling wished she could speak to give April anything she desired, but oh God, April was <em>on top </em>of her, and just like that she couldn’t remember a single word aside from asdfghjkl.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Don't talk to me, I'm processing my feels. </p><p>But if you feel like screaming about Stepril, I'm @Silent_Rain91 on Twitter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>April moved her hands down her front, getting rid of as many crinkles in her blouse underneath her polo as possible. It was neatly ironed when she put it on this morning and it would have stayed mostly wrinkle-free if it hadn’t been for Sterling’s hands, gripping the fabric with all her might. April checked her buttons, sighing out when each one was still there. Once her clothes were neat enough to avoid suspicion, she took out a little pocket mirror.</p><p>In the middle of April’s bottom lip, the surface of her skin was broken. Thank God for chapstick though. She wiped her cheeks with a tissue, getting rid of the residue of Sterling’s lipstick. April carefully folded the tissue as if it were a letter and placed it inside the left cup of her bra. Sucking in a deep breath, she went inside while she held her breath.</p><p>It was a quarter past ten. School ended five hours ago and April had said she wouldn’t be held up for more than three hours at most. Even the weather couldn’t help her out because sometime before she kissed Sterling, it was no longer raining or drizzling. April’s stomach knotted, throat closing while she tried to come up with a proper excuse as the lights in the living room flicked on.</p><p>“There you are,” her mother said, collecting the candy wrappers which were spread all over the coffee table, along with a half-eaten bag of chips.</p><p>April frowned at the sight, never having known her mother to have a sweet tooth. Growing up, chocolates and the likes were banned from their house, except for when her father snuck in a box just for her.</p><p>“I’m about to watch a documentary,” her mother announced, tossing everything in the bin, including the chips.</p><p>April opened her mouth, opposed to food-waste, but she closed it, unsure this was worth the debate. She knew her mother tried to cope with adjusting to their new reality and she was doing her best. Her mother faced scrutiny for filing for a divorce because April encouraged her to, so berating her mother over half a bag of chips was not the way to be supportive.</p><p>“Oh,” April whispered, averting her eyes from the clock on the wall above the mantle. “What’s it about?”</p><p>April’s mother plopped down on the couch. “Politics,” she answered, grabbing the remote. “Come sit down with me. You must be so excited you’ll be old enough to vote next year.”</p><p>April pulled her lips into a tight line. “Thrilled.”</p><p>The Stevens consisted of nothing but republicans for the past four generations, something her father was proud of. April knew his opinions and while her parents were devoted republicans, she contemplated siding with the democrats. Not out loud though. She couldn’t defy her parents, not as long as she lived under their roof, at least. They would never forgive her for tarnishing their reputation, even though April believed she was allowed to be her own person and make her own decisions.</p><p>“I’m going to call it a night, actually,” April informed her mother, clearing her throat.</p><p>“You must be exhausted,” her mother replied, eyes softening. “I’ll save the documentary so we can watch it together tomorrow.”</p><p>“Sounds perfect,” April nodded. “Thank you.”</p><p>April headed for the stairs but lingered at the bottom. She turned her hand over, gripping it with the other to stop herself while her pulse quickened. On the bright side, her mother seemed utterly unaware just how long she was gone for tonight, sparing her an argument.</p><p>“Hey, mom,” April said, clearing her throat, mentally whispering to herself it was no big deal. “Can I have a sleepover next weekend?”</p><p>“Of course, angel,” her mother answered, smiling at her. “Do I need to prepare the guestroom for Ezekiel?”</p><p>April blinked. She was never allowed to invite him before. Even for school assignments, she had to ask permission to have Ezekiel come over at her place. But her father wasn’t around anymore, so her mother called the shots, and for the first time in years, April felt like she was finally given a sense of space and trust she wasn’t going to make out with Ezekiel.</p><p>Not that her parents ever had any grounds for worrying April would hook up with a guy. She knew with every fiber of her being that her lips would never so much as touch those of a guy and now that she had a soulmate, the most wonderful soul of all, she was destined not to lock lips with anyone other than Sterling. It was somewhat romantic to April, knowing Sterling was the only one she ever kissed.</p><p>“That won’t be necessary,” April decided with a shake of her head. “Good night, mom. Don’t stay up too late, okay?”</p><p>“Don’t worry about me, sweetheart. I took a nap while you were gone.”</p><p>April heaved out a sigh. She knew it was a lie because her mother wasn’t fine, but she let it go because unlike her father, her mother didn’t do it for selfish reasons.</p><p>The remains of Sterling’s lipstick on the tissue were faint, but as April got on her hands and knees, retrieving the safe from underneath her bed, she put it in there anyway. It was a reminder of their first kiss as soulmates, one that flowed into many. The thin layered paper resembled hope and helped April breathe, albeit shakily.</p><p>April sat down on her bed, crossing her legs, pulling the safe onto her lap. The cold metal touched her bare knees, though she didn’t shudder. Her hands reached for the items inside, the photographs and other trinkets, which were somewhat worn down over the years, but priceless nonetheless.</p><p>April’s fingers toyed with the bracelet, feeling the yarn while her thumb moved it around her other digits on repeat. Her heart squeezed inside her chest at the all too vivid memory of telling eleven-year-old Sterling she burned it all to ashes. April hastily put all of the items back and shoved it under her bed, aside from the one piece she couldn’t let go of. She never believed she could right her wrongs, but what if she could?</p><p>April sat up, leaned against her headboard, and called Sterling, who picked up after the second ring.</p><p>“Hey,” Sterling breathed out while her lovely smile appeared on the screen. “Miss me already?”</p><p>The corners of April’s mouth inched up. “Something like that.”</p><p>In the background on Sterling’s end, April heard someone gag, which no doubt had to be Blair. April knew Blair hated her and she understood the older twin didn’t sign up for this, although April had no say in the matter either. Not that she could complain when her soulmate was Sterling, the girl she was in love with for the past six years and thought she never stood a chance with. No, the universe gave April a beautiful gift by linking her soul with someone she didn’t deserve.</p><p>“So, um…,” Sterling spoke, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger. “What are you wearing?”</p><p>“Jesus Christ, Sterl!” Blair exclaimed with a loud groan. “I get that she’s your girlfriend and you’re thirsty to get some, but if you’re going to flirt, at least give me a head’s up first so I can leave. I’m trying to enjoy my sour patch kids in peace here.”</p><p>April covered half of her face with her hand, laughing against her palm while Sterling’s cheeks turned beet red. Underneath her bemused appearance, April’s stomach was filled with jitters. She agreed Blair was allowed to know about Sterling and her, but April worried about the possibility of everything going awry.</p><p>Blair was an unpredictable whirlwind of a girl, quick to anger. One wrong word or move directed at Sterling and Blair came running to be her human shield. Their connection reminded April of a lioness protecting her cub, baring her teeth to scare off threats. April wasn’t spooked easily, though she would be lying if she said Blair didn’t intimidate her.</p><p>If push came to shove, soulmates or not, Sterling would always place her sister first. And April feared making the wrong step would drive a wedge between Sterling and her, in the form of Blair convincing Sterling the mark didn’t necessarily mean Sterling was tied to April. April read a story online of someone with a tattoo similar to theirs, who married someone other than their soulmate.</p><p>That person defied the odds and April wondered if it was a sin against God to ignore the gift. The bible didn’t have an answer, but one thing was for certain. April would never force Sterling to stay with her because of the mark, regardless of how much it would pain her to see Sterling with another girl or a boy.</p><p>“There isn’t much to see,” April stated with a wink, satisfied when Sterling choked on her own spit.</p><p>Sterling opened and closed her mouth like a fish on land. “Are you…?” Her tongue darted out, wetting her lips.</p><p>April cocked her head to the side, batting her eyelashes. “Am I what?”</p><p>“Lord have mercy,” Sterling whispered, waving a hand in front of her face, breathing hard.</p><p>April gulped at the sight of her girlfriend – God, she loved the idea of that – struggling to hide her desires, leading April to wish she stayed in Sterling’s car five minutes longer to kiss her neck, which was now as flushed as her face.</p><p>When April closed her eyes, just for a split second, she recalled the way Sterling begged, surprised she didn’t ravage Sterling right then and there. Sterling had no idea how weak April was hearing her say please. It was unnerving, highly intoxicating, and so wickedly sinful, but in a good way.</p><p>“I’m wearing a tank top and shorts,” April revealed, deciding to end the teasing there to avoid being too wind up to sleep.</p><p>She changed the angle of her camera, showing her outfit to Sterling to prove she wasn’t naked. April didn’t miss the way Sterling’s eyes drank her in and lingered at places, such as her abdomen.</p><p>“There,” April sighed, lifting her phone back up. “Satisfied?” she questioned with a lopsided smile.</p><p>“Gottagotosleepsotired,” Sterling rushed, dropping her phone.</p><p>“Don’t --!” April groaned when the call disconnected.</p><p>April flopped down on her mattress, humming softly when her cat curled up next to her. Her screen lit up with a good night message from Sterling, followed by a bunch of hearts and kisses, and as April typed out a response, she swore something inside of her healed.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling pulled up onto the parking lot and to say she was nervous was an understatement. Friday night went amazing, way better than she imagined it would, and for that, she was happy. Telling her sister she got back together with April wasn’t that hard either, considering Sterling already told Blair she had a huge suspicion April was her soulmate, which helped to break the news. And the weekend went by without any hiccups. April stayed in touch through texts and short calls, Sterling ate free yogurt whenever Bowser wasn’t looking, and she binged the first season of the L-word with Blair, who was the best ally Sterling could ever wish for.</p><p>But even so, Sterling’s heart raced, her palms were all sweaty and gross, and she wasn’t entirely certain if she put on her bra when she got dressed on auto-pilot this morning. Friday suddenly felt like forever ago and she swallowed, wondering how April would act today, hoping she hadn’t changed her mind again. Sterling wanted to move on, truly she did, but the fear April might break up with her again was etched into the back of her head.</p><p>“Okay,” Sterling breathed out, partially to motivate herself that she could do this, that she could get out of the car and walk in with a confident smile on her face. And on the other hand, she did it to get Blair’s attention.</p><p>“I know you don’t like April…,” Sterling cautioned.</p><p>“Nah, but I know she’s your soulmate so I guess I’ll make an effort.”</p><p>“You’re the best,” Sterling replied, feeling lighter.</p><p>“But if she breaks your heart again I’m breaking her face,” Blair added with a grumble, smacking her fist against her hand. “You’re sure she’s your soulmate, right?”</p><p>Sterling sighed. “One-thousand percent sure,” she confirmed, biting back a smile.</p><p>Muttering something intangible, Blair opened the door and slammed it behind her. Sterling followed after her sister, quietly praying Blair would behave before changing the topic to talk about Spencer, which turned Blair’s frown upside down in a split second. Blair gushed about Spencer being the greatest kisser in the world. He wasn’t though because that spot was reserved for April Stevens whose lips made Sterling’s ink burst out in color, but she let her sister talk without voicing her opinion, not wanting Blair to feel bad for not having a soulmate yet.</p><p>Deep down, Sterling wished it into existence. She knew soulmates were rare, but their lives weren’t ordinary to begin with, and technically Blair had two years left for a mark to appear so perhaps hers was simply late. Sterling didn’t want her sister to feel left out and it would be cool if they both had one, even though Blair pretended to barf when Sterling mentioned romance. What was so wrong about her wanting to give flowers and chocolates to April? As if Blair wouldn’t jump in joy if Spencer showed up in their garden with a boom box in his hands.</p><p>“Quick, hide!” Ezekiel yelled the moment they set foot inside of school. “I think she’s coming!”</p><p>Sterling grabbed Blair’s hand, ducking behind the couch as best as she could with her skirt. Starting tomorrow, she was so switching to slacks, for convenience purposes only. Sterling owned at least three pairs of those, but she wasn’t used to wearing them much because Luke always told her how pretty she looked in a skirt.</p><p>“One…two…,” Hannah B spoke. “Am I supposed to say three or do we yell on three?” she questioned, gazing at Ezekiel and April while she crouched next to Sterling.</p><p>“Does it matter?” Blair commented. “I bet she’s still parking her scooter.”</p><p>“Anything is fine, Han,” April said, smiling at Hannah B.</p><p>Sterling tilted her head in April’s direction, confused for a moment if she just called Hannah B hon as in honey, or Han as in I’ve gone soft and nicknamed my best friend.</p><p>“I hear footsteps!” Hannah B exclaimed, wriggling between the twins. “One…,” she began, grasping one of Sterling’s hands and one of Blair’s. “Two…,” Hannah B continued, smiling innocently, utterly unaware of the death glare Ezekiel sent her way, no doubt for interacting with their enemies, albeit unintentional.</p><p>In those seconds, Sterling caught April’s eyes and the chuckle that slipped past her lips, which seemed like a positive sign. The old April Stevens, who swore she was Sterling’s enemy, would have probably scolded Hannah B by now.</p><p>Hannah B was a sweet girl, so Sterling truly didn’t mind her childlike enthusiasm, though her sister might. Blair gaped at Hannah B’s hand holding hers, wide-eyed before using her twin-telepathy to whisper a string of profanities Sterling preferred not to hear.</p><p>“Three!” Hannah B shouted, jumping upright, yanking Sterling and Blair along with her.</p><p>Blair snagged her hand free but smiled nonetheless when Ellen walked in.</p><p>“Happy birthday!” the students yelled in semi-unison.</p><p>“Oh my,” Ellen uttered, waving her hands in front of her face, tearing up. “You are all stars, brightening my day. I wish I could hug all of you at once.”</p><p>April approached with a smile. “I hope you’ll enjoy this cake I made. My secret ingredient is love,” she said, presenting a chocolate cake.</p><p>Blair coughed. “Suck up,” she mumbled, groaning when Sterling elbowed her ribs.</p><p>Sterling gave her sister a pointed glare. “You said you’d try,” she reminded her in a whispering tone.</p><p>April’s eyes traveled briefly in their direction, but she snapped them back up, wishing Ellen a happy birthday once more. Sterling watched her girlfriend set the cake down, cutting it into pieces with a knife, arms on full display, muscles rippling every time she lifted the knife and brought it down again.</p><p>Sterling licked her lips and hurriedly helped herself to a slice. She settled on the couch, shoveling a forkful of the gooey treat into her mouth to have an excuse to moan without receiving strange looks. The chocolate melted on her tongue the same way she melted under April’s tongue when they kissed Friday night.</p><p>Another weight shifted onto the couch and when Sterling caught a glimpse of a guitar, she forgot to swallow. But when she registered it was just Hannah B, Sterling relaxed. Luke was a sweet guy, but hearing him sing was worse than listening to a cat being strangled, unlike Hannah B who actually knew what she was doing and had a soft baby-like voice.</p><p>“Hey now, you’re a rock star,” Hannah B sang.</p><p>“Nerd,” Blair snorted, leaning her arms onto the back of the couch. “Not bad though,” she mumbled, swiping her finger over the top of Sterling’s piece of cake, gathering a dollop of the frosting.</p><p>Hannah B strung the chords on her guitar, disappearing into the background when Sterling’s gaze met April’s. Sterling devoured her cake, nearly choking when April cleaned her fork with her tongue, and oh wow, she had to be doing that on purpose, right?</p><p>Sterling got up to discard her plate on the table, blushing when she bumped into April, although it might have been the other way around.</p><p>“Your cake’s delicious,” Sterling blurted out, fainting on the inside when April gave her a dazzling smile.</p><p>“I can tell,” April chuckled. Dimples formed in her cheeks, she bit her lower lip, glancing about before her right hand came up to touch Sterling’s jaw. “You have a little something…,” April whispered. “Here,” she spoke even quieter, moving the pad of her index finger across the corner of Sterling’s mouth.</p><p>Sterling’s lips parted, speechless while April sucked her finger clean, wrapping her tongue around the single digit. Lord have mercy, Sterling was only human, there was only so much she could take without losing control. But then she lowered her eyes and stopped at April’s wrist, taking notice of the green yarn, woven into a bracelet.</p><p>At that moment, April walked away, headed toward the bathroom. So Sterling did the only sensible thing she could do; follow her.</p><p>April rinsed her hands when Sterling turned off the water. She took a step closer to April and another until her back hit the wall. Sterling placed her hands next to April’s head, narrowing her eyes.</p><p>“Your bracelet,” Sterling gulped, eyes flitting briefly toward the trinket. “I made this for you in the fifth grade,” she whispered, voice laced with hurt and relief, “and you…I never thought I’d see you wear this again.”</p><p>April’s eyes roamed around before she took Sterling by the wrist and pulled her into the nearest stall. Sterling’s heartbeat pounded in her ears, the sound of her blood coursing through her veins suddenly louder than the music from Ellen’s birthday party. And then the lock clicked, deafening everything else.</p><p>“I never burned it,” April revealed, “any of it.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Sterl,” April whispered with a slight tremor in her voice. “I accused you of bullying me, but that wasn’t true. I assumed you grew tired of me, so I pushed you away until we became enemies. I was the bully.”</p><p>April touched her fingertips to the bracelet, eyes shimmering, but then she blinked and raised her chin, so much more powerful than she claimed to be. “Do you believe in second chances?”</p><p>“Does this mean you forgive me?” Sterling countered with a cautious smile.</p><p>“Forgive you?” April laughed, eyes wet with unshed tears. “Babe, I’m the one who made a mistake and the only question here is can you forgive me?”</p><p>“You called me babe,” Sterling pointed out, smiling. Her head felt lighter while her heart felt so much fuller.  “You love me, you wanna hug me,” she whispered, half-singing the words as she hugged her arms around herself, swaying on her feet.</p><p>“I’m trying to apologize, you hopeless sap,” April replied with a roll of her eyes, a sigh, and ultimately a smile.</p><p>“Oh, so I’m the hopeless sap?” Sterling snorted. “I don’t recall filling a book with sketches just of you.”</p><p>April gasped. “That’s not…I…”</p><p>Sterling grasped April’s chin between her thumb and her index finger, having to kiss her for being precious. The crash came not of two sets of lips colliding in a battle of passion, however, but rather from the bathroom door swinging shut with a loud click, followed by footsteps and a fist pounding against the wood that kept April and Sterling away from curious eyes.</p><p>April’s hands shot out, squeezing Sterling’s and for someone who was barely taller than a fifth-grader, April had one heck of a grip. Her nails dug into Sterling’s skin, inappropriately causing her to swallow down a moan while heat pooled low in her belly. Sterling had to get out and splash some water onto her face before April’s touch soaked her underwear.</p><p>But Sterling’s affliction meant nothing when she looked into April’s eyes, round and unblinking as she gulped in more air than she breathed out. Her cheeks, which were perfectly rosy before, had grown pale. Sterling helplessly caressed the back of April’s hands with her thumbs, but April’s hold only grew stronger, the blue veins in her wrists an angry contrast with her skin. If Sterling had an invisibility cloak, she would wrap it around April and carry her outside, away from prying eyes.</p><p>Sterling, while not fond of taking the Lord’s name in vain, cursed loudly in her thoughts. April had turned into a statue, face struck by what Sterling could only describe as fear, and she knew this was bad. She shouldn’t have cornered April, leading to them quite possibly getting caught. Sterling racked her mind to find an excuse why they weren’t in separate stalls, but the best she could find was feigning a stomach bug and claiming April held her hair back for her, and while Sterling knew in her heart it was something April would definitely do without a shadow of a doubt, their peers didn’t.</p><p>April’s skin was ashen by now. Maybe Sterling stood a better chance of keeping April in the closet and staying in there with her if she told the intruder April had an upset stomach. Sterling did enter the bathroom a couple of seconds later and it sounded like something she would do, even for someone she supposedly didn’t like. But even so, she couldn’t explain why the door was locked.</p><p>“Two people and one locked stall,” Blair’s voice taunted. “Real subtle, you guys,” she deadpanned, scooting her shoe under the door. “Or should I say, you gay-”</p><p>“Shove it, Blair!” Sterling grumbled while she opened the door.</p><p>Sterling released a deep breath, but when she inhaled, it got stuck in her throat. April slid past the door, left hand clutched around her upper right arm, eyes downcast, ogling the exit. Sterling couldn’t for the life of her will her lungs to fill up with air while her heart constricted. </p><p>April took a step toward the door, stopped, slumped her shoulders, and turned around. She sighed softly before pressing her lips to Sterling’s cheek. “I’ll call you after school,” April promised, sparing a smile. She shifted her gaze toward Blair, acknowledging her with a nod.</p><p>“Ugh great,” Sterling muttered after April walked out, turning on the water. “Why are you cockblocking me?” Sterling breathed out, cupping her hands under the stream.</p><p>The right corner of Blair’s mouth inched up. “I think you mean clamjamming,” she corrected, grinning wider. “But I’m proud of you, sis. You’re officially hornier than me.”</p><p>“Thanks to you we didn’t even kiss,” Sterling huffed, bringing her face closer to the sink, splashing water onto her cheek, avoiding the one her soulmate’s lips touched. “And how do you know about clamjamming?” she wondered aloud, frowning.</p><p>“Google,” Blair explained, shrugging a shoulder. “It has all of the ABCs of lgbt. Did you know there’s this, like, huge spectrum?” she shared with a smile, waving her hands in half a circle, spreading her arms out. “And not just sexuality-wise,” she continued, shaking her head, “but like, gender too. There’s a ton of information out there, you should check it out sometime. Oh and, I’ll send you the link of this test I did. I mean, I know you’re bisexual, but you could do it for fun.”</p><p>Sterling turned off the water. “Wait, wait,” she interrupted, holding up her hands. “Are you saying you took a gay test?”</p><p>Blair nodded. “I was curious about the questions,” she answered, walking toward the exit. “And the results, I guess,” she tacked on, grabbing the door handle. “It’s funny thinking you’re straight and then some random test is like, <em>syke</em> you’re not.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, so...Blair and Sterling don't actually share a room, but I wrote it that way so it's staying like that. </p><p>The next update will probably be in 4-5 days. ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>April sat at one of the picnic tables with her friends, as far away from Sterling as possible, as usual, though that didn’t stop her from stealing glimpses of her, wondering how she got so lucky. God could have chosen anyone as Sterling’s soulmate and for some reason, he chose April, for which she was truly grateful. She memorized Sterling smiling while she interacted with her sister and the way the sun complimented her hair as well as her eyes, storing it away so April could draw her later.</p><p>Sterling stood up and April nearly choked on a bite of her sandwich when Sterling discarded her orange polo. She looked different today with the sleeves of her blouse rolled up to her elbows and her black slacks with the hem of her blouse tucked into them. Her confidence intrigued April, the way Sterling spoke animatedly and laughed freely with seemingly no care in the world. April pictured Sterling bounty hunting, telling a skip there was no point in hiding with a certain authority in her voice, and the more April imagined it playing out like a noir movie, the more she gulped down air at the thought of Sterling laying down the law.</p><p>April didn’t know how much she needed Sterling to assert dominance until now, although that time Sterling kissed her in Ellen’s office had April’s imagination running wild too. Not to forget yesterday when Sterling had the guts to corner her in the bathroom, which unfortunately didn’t result in a make-out session. On the other hand, April loved being the one in control, and the alternative quite honestly frightened her, despite her desires.</p><p>“I didn’t see you at the young republicans meeting yesterday,” Ezekiel pointed out with a frown. “And according to the girl with the smelly breath, you quit, which doesn’t sound like you. So where were you, girl?”</p><p>“I did quit,” April revealed with a tight-lipped nod. “There’s too much on my plate as is and I simply do not have the time to attend, hence my decision to revise my extracurricular activities.”</p><p>April shouldn’t have taken part in that club to begin with, though it made her parents proud when she did. But times were different now and her father was no longer in the picture to dictate her actions. April didn’t support gun rights and disagreed with her father’s opposition to abortion, although the bible claimed it was murder. Her father, like other individuals, were pro-life yet ignored the conditions of which those not allowed to get an abortion were forced to live in. Meanwhile, foster homes overflowed with children. April felt much more comfortable in the pro-choice narrative.</p><p>“And the straight-straight alliance?” Ezekiel questioned, reaching for one of Hannah B’s baby carrots. “I didn’t see you there either,” Ezekiel noted, taking a bite from the carrot.</p><p>“As I said, I’m busy,” April answered, sighing quietly to herself.</p><p>Perhaps dropping two extracurriculars at once was cause for suspicion, but she couldn’t stand sitting through another one of those meetings, tired of the hetero nonsense she forced herself to live through. April couldn’t come out or hold her girlfriend’s hand in public, though she felt she could stop overcompensating so much. And Blair, while utterly annoying, had a point about the straights already being aligned. Plus, if April had to hear one more person suggest they’d organize a straight pride parade, she was going to scream bloody murder.</p><p>“I understand, sweetie,” Hannah B spoke. “You look a little tired,” she said while holding one of her carrots. “Baby carrot?”</p><p>April sharply turned her head to face her friend. “Tired?” she repeated, spitting the word out with venom.</p><p>There may have been a late-night call with Sterling, but April used a cream to deal with the bags under her eyes and according to her mirror this morning, she was nothing short of fabulous.</p><p>“Yeah, Hannah B, rude,” Ezekiel chimed in, plucking the tiny vegetable from between her fingers. “You look like a solid ten,” he told April.</p><p>“Right, of course,” Hannah B uttered with a slight pout that was somewhat cute. “You’re always pretty, April, even in the morning when we have a sleepover and I wake up next to you. You’re one of the top three prettiest girls in Willingham.”</p><p>April’s brows crinkled while her lips parted. “What?” she whispered, tilting her head to the side.</p><p>Maybe April was more tired than she thought because it wasn’t possible for both of her best friends to be gay. She quickly shook that idea away, remembering Hannah B had a crush on Ezekiel and didn’t shy away from very friendly compliments, without realizing what she said. Hannah B was a bit of an airhead, but she had the purest heart in the entire school, and if anyone ever hurt her April would skin them alive.</p><p>“I’m thinking of quitting the straight-straight alliance, too,” Ezekiel announced, dividing his grapes between the three of them, counting each one. “It’s too pretentious for my taste.”</p><p>April wished she could glimpse into Ezekiel’s mind for that final confirmation that he was indeed gay and a safe person to come out to someday. It would be so much easier if she could just tell someone the truth, but April didn’t want to risk being wrong about Ezekiel and him outing her to the whole school.</p><p>Hannah B stared at the grapes. “I only went because you did,” she said, eyes shifting between Ezekiel and April. “I thought it was a friends thing,” Hannah B concluded.</p><p>“Same,” Ezekiel hummed, pointing at Hannah B while nodding at April.</p><p>This was the weirdest game of Simon says ever. April hated the idea of her best friends feeling obligated to join a club because she did. She knew she had her bossy moments, but she wasn’t the boss of them and if they weren’t interested in an extracurricular, they should have told her. They weren’t her followers, they were her friends.</p><p>“I’m more of a circle anyways,” Ezekiel mumbled, popping a grape into his mouth.</p><p>Hannah B rested her chin in the palm of her hand. “I don’t get it,” she said while April gaped at Ezekiel, stunned into silence.</p><p>“I’ll explain later,” Ezekiel told Hannah B, getting up from the table. He walked around to April’s side, placing a hand on her shoulder. “You’re not alone,” he whispered before picking up his trash and walking away toward the bins.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling hovered above the sink, rubbing her eyes with one hand while she brushed her teeth with the other. Whoever invented schools had to start bright and early was a meanie who failed to grasp the importance of a good night’s rest. Blair hated mornings even more than she did, but Blair didn’t grumble or throw herself into a rant about the patriarchy being responsible for this somehow.</p><p>Sterling spat out her toothpaste while Blair kept brushing, even though they passed the three-minute mark, according to their miniature sand clock. Blair’s eyes were fixated on the mirror, yet her mind seemed elsewhere seeing as her toothbrush kept cleaning the same spot over and over. Sterling tried to use their twin-telepathy to communicate, but the signal didn’t go through because Blair didn’t respond.</p><p>There was only one culprit Sterling could think of.</p><p>“Hey, uh, about that test you mentioned…,” Sterling brought up, unable to let it go.</p><p>Forty-five hours went by since Blair dropped that bomb without further explaining the why and what and Sterling felt she gave her sister enough time to approach her first to discuss the subject. They had a twenty-four hours turnaround rule to share information with one another, which Blair very much insisted on. After Blair’s casual way of making such a huge announcement two days ago, Sterling could no longer contain her curiosity.</p><p>Sterling filled her cup with water. “You said you’re not straight and then you stopped talking about it, and I can’t stop thinking about it and I really want to respect your privacy, but I’m like shocked and excited and it would be really helpful if we could just talk about this,” she rambled in a single breath before bringing her cup to her lips.</p><p>Blair gathered her ponytail in one hand, turned on the tap, and rinsed her mouth by bringing her face as close to the stream as possible.</p><p>“I’ve been thinking,” Blair started. “I dated Jennings, then Miles, and now Spencer. They’re guys so surely I’d have to be straight? That’s what I believed because why wouldn’t I? Even when you came out to me, I didn’t think I was anything other than straight, but it did make me curious. I did all of this research to support you and took the test to see which questions you’d get, and when I got the results it messed with my head. All this time I thought I knew exactly who I was, but apparently, I know fuck all.”</p><p>Sterling bit her lip, reaching out to caress her sister’s back. “It’s okay to be confused, I was too,” she told Blair with a kind smile. “I think…,” Sterling reasoned, “no matter how old we’ll get, we’ll always discover new things about ourselves, and that doesn’t mean you don’t know who you are. You’re still you. You’re still the best sister anyone could ever have.”</p><p>Blair shook her head. “No, you are,” she countered. “You’re the best sister and if we’d shared a womb, I’d have totally absorbed you with my endless love for you.”</p><p>Sterling internally winced at the reminder they weren’t sisters biologically, but their bond was stronger than ever, and that gave her strength.</p><p>“I’m bisexual,” Blair revealed. “Probably,” she added with a frown. “I’m not sure what to think.”</p><p>Blair untied her hair and grabbed her comb. “Oh, and demiromantic, which actually makes a lot of sense,” she said while brushing her hair, facing the mirror.</p><p>Sterling blinked. “Demi…?” she questioned, eyebrows creasing together. “As in half being into romance?” she guessed, new to the concept of romantic orientations.</p><p>“I looked it up and being demiromantic means I’ll only be romantically attracted to someone once an emotional connection is formed first, which is so me,” Blair explained, smiling this time. “I wasn’t romantically attracted to Jennings and the moment we figured out that connection wasn’t there, we broke up.”</p><p>“Huh,” Sterling whispered, nodding while the information sank in. “I’m happy for you, sis,” she uttered, sparing a bright smile, excited they were both queer.</p><p>Blair laughed when Sterling enveloped her in her arms, hugging her right back. This year was one heck of a rollercoaster and Sterling wasn’t planning on getting off anytime soon, though technically she sort of already did last night and the night before that, and the one before that, but in a completely different April-centric way.</p><p>Sterling made her way down the stairs with her sister once they both dried their tears of joy – at least they were for Sterling, though it might have been relief for Blair – and joined their parents at the table for breakfast. A sweet mixture of blueberries and chocolate tickled Sterling’s nose, automatically making her inhale the scent deeper.</p><p>“Choc chip pancakes!” Blair exclaimed, swatting their father’s hand away to claim the first one.</p><p>Their father laughed lightly. “Slow down, princess,” he urged, smiling while Blair stacked four pancakes onto her plate, “there’s more than enough.”</p><p>“Chocolate chip pancakes and blueberry pancakes?” Sterling said to her sister through their twin vision.</p><p>“You’re right, something’s up,” Blair hummed, cutting her knife through her pancakes like she was on a mission to break the plate in half. “They’ve been smothering us since, you know, that night.”</p><p>“I feel kind of sad for them because they feel bad.”</p><p>“They should feel bad, Sterl,” Blair replied with a harsh tone. “They lied to us.”</p><p>Sterling glanced at the pancakes and then at her parents’ faces, seeing the way they looked at her, waiting for her to dig in, so she did. She knew they lied, but Sterling kept secrets from them, too. And she was willing to forgive them and move on, unlike Blair who had a penchant for holding on to grudges. But Sterling believed her sister would come around eventually.</p><p>“Hey, mom,” Sterling uttered, clearing her throat. “Can I invite April to come over tonight and eat dinner with us?”</p><p>Blair coughed and sent a chunk of her pancake flying halfway across the table. “I should take smaller bites,” she muttered, wrapping her fingers around her glass of water, gingerly bringing it to her lips.</p><p>Their mother cocked her head. “April Stevens?”</p><p>Sterling hummed and nodded. “We, uh, rekindled,” she explained while grabbing an orange. “We’re friends again.”</p><p>“Well, all right,” their mother replied, sighing out a smile. “But she can’t stay long. It’s a school night.”</p><p>Now that she had permission, all Sterling had to do was convince April to say yes. It wasn’t Sterling’s way of trying to force her girlfriend to take the next step, although she would understand if April wasn’t comfortable with visiting as a friend. Sterling wanted time alone with April, even if it was just half an hour in her room after dinner, so she could finally kiss her again before the lack of physical affection killed her.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April tangled her fingers in her hair, toying with her ponytail while she waited for the announcement they could team up, so she could turn around and pretend she wasn’t happy to be stuck with Sterling. Before class began, April received a text from her girlfriend, promising Blair would volunteer to partner up with Luke. Not that April particularly minded practicing with someone else, although Sterling’s Spanish was significantly better than everyone else’s, and April wanted to nail her – it! She wanted to ace the class so she could get a perfect grade and make her parents proud, or rather her mother, considering her father seemed to have vanished into thin smoke, seeing as how he no longer texted her.</p><p>Getting him out of the picture was exactly what April wished for, but why did she feel sad about his absence? Her father ruined their family and yet part of her missed him. She pushed her thoughts down, breaking them up into pieces, stuffing them into tiny boxes. She had two best friends who were there for her and a soulmate, more than enough to be happy.</p><p>“Ahem,” Sterling spoke behind her, tapping her on the shoulder. “I guess we’re partners again,” she stated with a heavy sigh.</p><p>April spun around, flexing an eyebrow. “I don’t know what’s more tragic,” she countered, looking the love of her life up and down from the close proximity they were in. “Partnering up with you or your lack of spatial awareness,” she uttered just loud enough for their peers to hear before they got distracted with practicing.</p><p>Sterling slid back behind her desk, eyes narrowed while failing miserably to bite back a smile. But she had it easier because she wasn’t facing the entirety of the class, unlike April and fudge, Sterling’s smile was infectious and very difficult not to return.</p><p>“Hola, Abril,” Sterling teased, rolling the R. She poked out the tip of her tongue and gosh dang it, April was going to kill her for causing her to chuckle and lose her composure.</p><p>April shook her head, smiling while she tried to get her footing back, inhaling and exhaling. She observed Sterling’s bright eyes, the mirrors of her soulmate’s soul, staring directly into hers. April felt the connection between them, tethered by an invisible rope made out of materials stronger than anything on earth. In her mind, she saw herself as a mime, able to loop a lasso around Sterling and pull her close, through the walls of her castle where the only fire-spitting dragon protecting the girl was April herself.</p><p>Throughout the years, April learned to keep herself safe by hiding in her fort on her own personal island, surrounded by a moat. She kept her drawbridge closed, even to her friends, who never saw the interior of her castle and were stuck facing the exterior. But then Sterling pole-vaulted over the obstacles and now Ezekiel swam through the water and was on the brink of wedging one of the bricks of the castle loose and catching a glimpse of April’s heart.</p><p>“Vienes aqui a menudo <em>(do you come here often)</em>?” Sterling asked with a cute dopey smile, which made April wish she could lean over Sterling’s desk and kiss her.</p><p>“Tienes una sonrisa muy bonita <em>(you have a very beautiful smile)</em>,” April responded, genuine and with ease, proclaiming nothing but the truth. “Cuando Dios inventó la belleza se inspiró en ti <em>(when God invented beauty he was inspired by you)</em>.”</p><p>Sterling’s cheeks reddened, laughing lightly at the compliment. She brushed her hair behind her ear, biting her lower lip. “Te pareces a mi siguiente novia <em>(you look like my next girlfriend)</em>.”</p><p>April couldn’t stop smiling if she tried at this point. She was head over heels, utterly smitten with Sterling, that can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of love. April wondered if Sterling knew she held her fragile heart into her hands, able to do with it whatever she desired.</p><p>“Quieres salir conmigo <em>(do you want to go out with me)</em>?” Sterling asked, batting her eyelashes as if April wasn’t going to say yes anyway.  </p><p>“En tu casa o en la mia <em>(your place or mine)</em>?” April teased, wiggling her eyebrows.</p><p>“Mi casa <em>(my place)</em>,” Sterling answered, lips curling up into a ten-thousand-volt smile. “Esta noche, para cenar <em>(tonight, for dinner)</em>.”</p><p>“No estoy bromeando <em>(I’m not kidding)</em>,” Sterling added. “¿Qué dices <em>(what do you say)</em>?”</p><p>April slowly worked her jaw, stopping when she felt it click. Her mother wouldn’t argue if she texted her she was having dinner at a friend’s tonight and wasn’t likely to ask details. If someone saw her getting into a car with the Wesleys, April wasn’t sure how to explain why. At the same time, she yearned to be with Sterling and perhaps tonight was her chance to hold hands with her girlfriend.</p><p>Sterling leaned the upper half of her body onto her desk, which brought April’s attention to the two top buttons of her blouse that were undone, showing off a hint of Sterling’s cleavage, just enough to leave the rest up to April’s imagination.</p><p>“You’ll have me as your company,” Sterling whispered in English then.</p><p>April sighed out a smile, nodding. “You make a good point,” she winked to the truthful debate champion.</p><p>The rest of the class was spent flirting back and forth, while occasionally attempting to tell jokes so April could catch more of Sterling’s smiles directed at her. April kept finding herself staring more at Sterling’s soft kissable lips than her eyes, imagining herself taking Sterling by the hand, into the janitor’s closet, and stealing the very breath from her lungs.</p><p>When the bell rang, Sterling gathered her things and it was only after she got up, April realized she was supposed to move on to her next class, too. She hated tardiness, so she hurriedly grabbed her stuff and headed toward the door.</p><p>April was about to exit the classroom when an arm shot out, blocking her path. She turned her head to the side, ready to give whichever idiot dared halt her a piece of her mind, but ultimately faltered when her gaze met Blair’s.</p><p>The older twin stared at April for three torturous slow seconds, eyes following the movement of April’s right hand when she used it to run her fingers through her hair. April weighed her options. She could push Blair’s arm out of the way and deal with whatever snide remark she would receive after or duck under her arm and look ridiculous for trying to escape that way.</p><p>April exhaled as quietly as she could, though not silent enough to hide it from someone who was in her personal space. “Yes?” she queried, voice laced with an inkling of frustration.</p><p>“I heard some of the stuff you said to Sterling,” Blair answered, “cause I sit behind her.”</p><p>“Was there something you needed to tell me?” April prompted, crossing her arms over her chest.</p><p>April wanted to keep it polite for Sterling’s sake, but Blair’s timing interfered with April’s schedule. She wasn’t keen on skipping class or showing up late unless it was an emergency. And this did not count as such.</p><p>“You make her laugh,” Blair said to April, sucking her teeth. “Maybe you’re not so bad, Stevens.”</p><p>“Thank you, Blair,” April responded, dropping her arms to her sides, taken aback. “That’s…that…”</p><p>“Don’t make it gross,” Blair commented, crinkling her nose. “Later, skater,” she mumbled, punching April’s shoulder on her way out.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So yup, Blair is bisexual because her character totally reads that way.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sterling was no James Bond and as she leaped over the hood of her car in an attempt to slide to the other side faster than she could walk there, the loud thud of her bones connecting with the thick metal proved to be a somewhat painful mistake, though the biggest damage was her now bruised ego.</p><p>The passenger’s door swung open. “Oh my Gosh, Sterl,” April gasped around a whisper, running to her aid. “Are you okay, baby?” she asked with a gentle lilt in her voice while holding out her hands.</p><p>“Yes,” Sterling whimpered, climbing off, her attempt to be smooth completely gone in the wind.</p><p>But Sterling still had a shot to race to the front door so she could get there first and hold it open for April, so perhaps not all was lost. Plus, on the drive back after dinner to drop off April, Sterling could totally give being chivalrous another attempt by actually going around the car rather than over it.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re ok-”</p><p>“That was awesome,” Blair interjected, laughing while she got out of the backseat of the car. “I don’t know why you did that, but you should definitely do that again sometime.”</p><p>In the second April’s eyes traveled from Sterling to Blair, Sterling furiously shook her head at her sister, wide-eyed, hoping Blair wouldn’t start blabbing about anything bounty hunting related. Tonight was all about a nice relaxed dinner, followed by Sterling finally getting some alone time with April in her room.</p><p>Sterling cleared her throat. “Shall we, milady?” she spoke, offering her arm to April, smiling when April playfully shoved her.</p><p>“Aw,” Blair cooed. “I’m gonna run along before my lunch decides to say hello to dinner.”</p><p>Sterling rolled her eyes, but she wasn’t going to let her sister’s faux disgust stop her from being sweet to her soulmate. She settled on walking next to April, inhaling each time their arms brushed, and she really, really wanted to hold April’s hand, but Sterling knew she had to wait just a tad longer.</p><p>The scent of macaroni greeted them when they went inside and Sterling almost pumped her fist in the air when she saw the table arrangements. She usually always sat next to Blair, but God smiled down on Sterling today because Blair’s heart-shaped glass stood next to the plate right next to her mother’s seat, and her father already sat at the head of the table, leaving two empty chairs for Sterling and April to sit side by side.</p><p>Blair got that glass as a gift from Spencer and that – pardon her language – bitch had the audacity to act like she wasn’t sentimental. But Sterling also knew Blair used it to make their parents uncomfortable about her being in an interracial relationship again. Their parents claimed to be supportive and Sterling swore they did their best, but she had to admit they hadn’t fully rid themselves of their racist way of thinking.</p><p>“Well hello there, April,” Sterling’s father greeted. “It’s been a mighty long time since y’all been friends. Welcome back.”</p><p>“Thank you, sir,” April responded, and as she wrung her hands and ducked her head slightly, she looked much smaller. “Ma’am,” she greeted, nodding at Sterling’s mother with a polite smile on her face.</p><p>“Mr. and Mrs. Wesley will do,” Sterling’s mother told April.</p><p>Sterling’s heart sped up at the thought that one day, April might call them mother and father, but Sterling tried not to get too excited just yet. Their relationship, while obviously meant to be because of the mark and all that fun stuff, was still fresh. There were so many milestones they had yet to reach together, like their first day of senior year, making love, and moving in together. Her enthusiasm faded when her mind jumped to April’s parents.</p><p><em>They’re bigots</em>, April had said. Sterling hoped April’s mother would come around someday and show nothing but loving support, but April’s father was never going to be on good terms with Sterling. She destroyed that chance when he decided to be someone who beats women. Sterling stood by her actions, but she hated the pain it inflicted on April and she sensed the lack of a connection with April’s father would be a problem in the future.</p><p>Sterling strongly disliked Mr. Stevens, but she was in love with April so for her, she would be willing to make reparations someday. April was worth it to jump through hoops of fire for and everyone deserved a shot at redemption.</p><p>When dinner was served, Sterling’s mind battled between eating properly and reaching under the table in the hopes April would do the same so they could hold hands. Ultimately, Sterling used her cutlery while playing footsie with her girlfriend, who returned the gesture.</p><p>“So, April,” Sterling’s mother said. “Which university are you thinking of applying to next year?”</p><p>“Harvard,” April answered, smiling politely. “I want to study law.”</p><p>“Well, you don’t say,” Sterling’s mother responded. “Our Sterling is thinking of applying there, too,” she shared, smiling at her husband before looking at April again. “You have the same ambitions, then.”</p><p>Sterling put her knife down, surprised yet crazy happy to learn she might get to spend more time with her girlfriend in the near future and possibly share a dorm with her.</p><p>“Great minds think alike,” Sterling uttered, squeezing April’s thigh under the table.</p><p>“I was surprised to hear y’all are friends again,” Sterling’s mother said next, much to Sterling’s horror. “Y’all sure were close when you were younger,” her mother added.</p><p>April drank from her glass, not voicing a response even after she sat it down. The air felt different, leaving Sterling to worry if this was all happening too soon. Maybe she should have eased her parents into the idea of her being friends with April again, so they could have gotten used to it before Sterling invited April. Sterling didn’t want April to freak out for kind of being put on the spot like that.</p><p>“This mac n cheese is the bomb,” Blair uttered, stabbing some of it with her fork.</p><p>“I bet it’s a new recipe,” Sterling chimed in.</p><p>“Delicious,” Blair hummed, nodding. “You should make this again sometime, mom.”</p><p>“Why thank you, girls.”</p><p>Sterling watched her mother smile like the compliment was going to keep her spirits lifted for at least a week and she was grateful for the distraction, but April finished her plate in silence and the only other movement she made was the shallow rise and fall of her chest.</p><p>“Mom, dad, April and I are going to my room,” Sterling announced, resisting her spontaneous urge to grab April’s hand.</p><p>Back in the fifth grade, they held hands plenty of times and reached out to one another, but they were teenagers now, bordering on entering adulthood, so the gesture would no longer be viewed as an innocent token of friendship. Sterling disliked how being close to someone was cause for scrutiny. Gosh, this one time when she was thirteen, she kissed Hannah G on the cheek when saying bye to her, and then her mom called Sterling’s mom because she thought they were ‘lesbianing’ and wrongly assumed they kissed each other on the lips. Hannah G’s parents were so angry, they banned Sterling from spending time with their daughter and then Hannah G told Sterling she was dead to her.</p><p>“Okay,” her mother responded, getting a start on rinsing the dishes. “But leave your door open.”</p><p>Sterling halted. “Why…?” she asked, frowning.</p><p>“I have a basket of your and Blair’s laundry. I’ll carry it upstairs in a minute.”</p><p>“Oh,” Sterling said, smiling. “I can do that.”</p><p>Sterling bounded toward the storage room where she spotted the basket sitting atop the dryer. She was about to reach for it when someone gripped her elbow and pulled her aside, into a corner, away from the door.</p><p>April’s eyes bored into Sterling’s, wide and intense while her fingers remained firmly wrapped around Sterling’s skin. April stood on her toes, chin tilted upward, throat bobbing with each swallow. Sterling figured she should say something, but she didn’t want to break the tension in case it led to a kiss in the heat of the moment. Only, this wasn’t like the time April grabbed her arm at the debate. Her nostrils didn’t flare and the vein in her neck didn’t particularly stand out.</p><p>April opened and closed her mouth several times, letting out a quivering breath, hand easing up then, dropping it to her side. “Does your mother know?” she asked in a mere whisper.</p><p>Sterling blinked. “Know what?”</p><p>“About this,” April answered, gesturing between them. “Us,” she clarified, taking a step back, creating space between them.</p><p>Sterling didn’t know if it was a subconscious gesture or not, but the twenty or so inches separating them from one another were about sixteen inches too many. “No,” she uttered with a reassuring smile. “Of course not,” she ensured, not having told her parents anything about her dating someone, let alone her ex-best friend who was now her soulmate.</p><p>Her parents were completely in the dark about the tattoo on Sterling’s abdomen. As far as they were concerned, she restored her friendship with April, and that was all they were; friends. Just two gals being pals. Blair was the only one who knew everything and aside from her, Sterling only came out to her criminal biological mother who she didn’t tell about April. With a start, Sterling realized she told Luke she was into April, but she hadn’t provided him with any updates and wasn’t planning to.</p><p>“Our secret is safe,” Sterling promised, hoisting up the basket of laundry, placing it on her hip for support. “Only Blair knows, like we agreed.”</p><p>“Okay,” April replied, chest deflating. “Good,” she said with a smile.</p><p>Sterling walked up to her room, followed by April who let her go up the stairs first, which meant Sterling couldn’t ogle her butt. She smiled, feeling April’s eyes on her back, wondering if she was stealing glimpses. Sterling swayed her hips with each step and if asked, she would blame it on jostling the basket. When she reached her bedroom, she put the laundry down on Blair’s bed, noting there were more of her clothes in it than Sterling’s, plus she kind of needed her own bed to be empty.</p><p>April sat down on Sterling’s bed, sighing softly when Sterling joined her after closing the door, which unfortunately didn’t come with a lock. Not that it was necessary because if anyone came up the stairs, Sterling was bound to hear them.</p><p>“Ezekiel knows I’m gay,” April whispered and when Sterling’s eyes widened, she added, “I didn’t tell him.”</p><p>“How do you feel about him knowing?”</p><p>Sterling took April’s hands in hers, caressing her knuckles with her thumbs in a slow circular motion while softening her expressions. She was there for April, no matter what, and Sterling knew her girlfriend was afraid to step out of the closet, even if it was just a little.</p><p>April’s throat bobbed. “I want to feel relieved,” she replied, smiling thinly while her eyes glazed over. “I want someone to know, other than your sister. And I believe Ezekiel will be supportive.”</p><p>“But you’re not ready,” Sterling guessed, freeing one hand to cup April’s jaw, catching the tear that slid down her cheek.</p><p>April nodded, quickly wiping at the next tear that escaped her eyes before Sterling had the chance to do it for her. “I…I was planning on coming out to my friends once I felt ready,” April explained, “which probably wouldn’t have happened until next year after I graduate.”</p><p>Sterling wrapped her arms around April’s waist, holding her close, resting her chin on top of April’s head while her petite girlfriend buried her face in her chest.</p><p>“I’m totally ruining our date, aren’t I?” April chuckled wetly.</p><p>“This is a date?” Sterling blurted out, instantly regretting she didn’t bite her tongue instead when April pulled away with a crestfallen look on her face. “I did ask you out,” Sterling admitted with a nod. “And nothing is ruined. You’re here, at my house, in my room, which is what I wanted.”</p><p>Something in April’s expressions shifted. She moved her index finger down Sterling’s cheek, across her neck, past her collarbone, all the way down to the first button of Sterling’s blouse. April tangled her hand in the cotton fabric, tugging while she leaned in, claiming Sterling’s lips with a soft moan, hushed by Sterling’s tongue begging for entrance.</p><p>Sterling sighed into the kiss, losing herself into the intoxicating desire of feeling April’s supple full lips press against hers. Sterling grabbed the back of April’s neck, pulling her impossibly closer, not wanting to leave a single inch between them. For a moment, she wasn’t in her room, sitting on her bed, but rather on a cloud high up in the sky, floating around with April whose touch made everything feel as light as a feather.</p><p>Somewhere along the way, Sterling’s hands strayed lower, under the hem of April’s shirt, nails scraping lightly at her lower back. Sterling felt encouraged by the way April bit her lip, which spurred her on to explore further, sliding her hands to April’s front, up to her ribs.</p><p>April, in turn, undid the first button of Sterling’s blouse, releasing a shuddering breath against Sterling’s lips when she reached for the second one. “Sterl…,” April whispered, swallowing as Sterling’s fingers grazed the underside of her bra.</p><p>“We can slow down if you want,” Sterling offered, retracting her hands, straightening her girlfriend’s shirt. She smiled sweetly when April nodded.</p><p>“I… I want you to take off my shirt,” April uttered, fingers stilling. “And I want to take off yours. Just…not here, not right now.”</p><p>April made a fair point, Sterling couldn’t argue with that. As much as she wanted to go just a bit further, she knew the timing wasn’t right, so Sterling resigned herself to kissing April as much as she could, which certainly wasn’t bad.</p><p>“I love you, April,” Sterling swore, littering her cheeks with kisses. “I love all of you, from your cute button of a nose, the dimples when you smile, the passion in your eyes, the softness of your touch, and the tenderness of your lips.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April preferred going home on foot the minute it became apparent Sterling needed to help her mother with something, which meant Blair was the one tasked with giving April a ride. But she couldn’t stoop to acting crude in front of Mr. and Mrs. Wesley, and Blair had already resigned herself to the situation with a deep sigh while snatching the keys up from the counter.</p><p>The feeling Mr. and Mrs. Wesley knew something stuck with April. She couldn’t shake the thought, especially not now that Mrs. Wesley asked Sterling to do chores instead of Blair. Perhaps it was a coincidence, but April didn’t quite believe in those. Her relationship with Sterling was written in the stars and so many other things depended heavily on fate. April considered texting Sterling as she got into the passenger’s seat of the car, but she didn’t want to bother her with her paranoia.</p><p>After what happened with her father, trust became much less of a given for April. She worried people had a hidden agenda, a secondary meaning to their actions. Why couldn’t Sterling give her a lift? April was invited over for dinner as Sterling’s friend, not Blair’s, and while Blair behaved herself, they clearly weren’t friends.</p><p>April’s mind drifted and when she regained her focus, she peered out of the window and frowned while Blair took a left turn where she was supposed to go right.</p><p>“You’re going the wrong way,” April commented. “This is not-”</p><p>“I know,” Blair interrupted, staring intently at the road ahead of her. “I just need to tank real quick.”</p><p>April slumped against the back of the seat, though with the tension in her shoulders, she probably appeared more rigid than relaxed. Not that any of that mattered, although, on the other hand, she didn’t want to come across as a frightened deer. She wasn’t scared per se, but for some unknown reason, her anxiety decided to push her around.</p><p>Several minutes went by with Blair blasting those horrid sounds she dared call music, before she pulled up at a gas station, true to her words. April had no idea why she initially assumed it was a lie and the more she thought about it, the more she realized Blair was very straightforward. If Blair thought someone’s shirt was ugly, she was bound to tell them, whether she hurt their feelings or not. Her candor was one of the few things April actually admired about the older twin.</p><p>While Blair filled up the tank, April wondered what Sterling was doing and if she was thinking about her too. April smiled while her most recent memory of kissing Sterling replayed in her head, stuck on a loop. She closed her eyes, sinking into the dreamy feeling until the car door slammed shut, rudely disturbing her peace.</p><p>“So you’re a lesbian,” Blair stated, fastening her seatbelt.</p><p>“Obviously,” April confirmed.</p><p>“You’re sure?”</p><p>April scoffed. “I crush hard on girls and only girls, and your sister is my soulmate. So yes, Blair, I’m sure,” she bit out, grinding her teeth.</p><p>Blair huffed. “No need to get all snippy with me, I’m just making conversation.”</p><p>April sighed, wondering if perhaps her reaction was more defensive than it should have been. She wasn’t fond of needing to justify that she was indeed a raging lesbian, a debate which she went over in her head a thousand times before, for the day where she would come out to her parents and be free. She was a lesbian and nothing could ever change that. God knew she used to pray when she was eleven, wishing to wake up and suddenly like boys instead of girls, but it never worked.</p><p>April made her peace with being queer a long time ago. She was into girls and God didn’t mind. If he did, he never would have given her a soulmate. With each kiss she shared with Sterling, April knew in her heart that it was right and that she could never be wrong for being a lesbian. She wasn’t going to burn in hell.</p><p>“How did you know?” Blair asked, turning the key in the engine. The motor hummed to life, though they didn’t move yet.</p><p>“It’s personal,” April whispered, clutching her fingers around the seatbelt, gripping it tightly.</p><p>This game of twenty questions or whatever it was supposed to be didn’t sit well with April. There was no need for them to talk on their drive to her house or to fill up the awkward silence now that Blair finally had the decency to not blast her music.</p><p>“All right,” Blair mumbled. “Do you have a gaydar?”</p><p>“No, I do not,” April sighed. If only she had one of those to make her life slightly easier. “When Sterling kissed me, I considered asking her if it meant she was into girls,” she shared with a chuckle, thinking how silly and unfounded her doubts were.</p><p>Blair snorted. “Okay, last question. And this is an important one,” she stated with a serious tone in her voice. “What’s your favorite ice cream topping?”</p><p>April bit back a sarcastic retort, telling herself it was better to get served a simple question rather than another personal one.</p><p>“I’m not too picky. Anything except whipped cream is fine.”</p><p>Blair gasped and slammed the brakes. “What!?” she yelled. “Whipped cream is a top tier ice cream topping and I bet if Sterling was covered in it, you’d dig right in.”</p><p>April’s jaw dropped, cheeks flushed at the implication, which wasn’t entirely wrong. “Well…,” she sighed, settling her nerves, “I suppose Sterling is particularly tasty.”</p><p>“Ew, gross,” Blair groaned, making a face. “That’s my sister, dude.”</p><p>“You brought it up,” April pointed out. “What’s with the curiosity anyway?” she pondered in afterthought, frowning.</p><p>Blair shrugged a shoulder. “Just getting to know you a little,” she answered, toying with the radio. “Why did you turn off my music?”</p><p>“You didn’t turn it back on after you tanked.”</p><p>“I didn’t? Huh…,” Blair muttered. She buried one of her hands in her hair, whispering something inaudible to herself.</p><p>April chewed her bottom lip. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“I’m great,” Blair laughed while her eyes shone with unshed tears. “We all have a midlife crisis someday, nothing new.”</p><p>“I was upset when I found out I’m a lesbian,” April shared, threading as carefully as she could. “I wanted to do more than hold Sterling’s hand and it confused me at first. I never told anyone this, but I used to pray, asking God to turn me straight,” she chuckled wetly, shaking her head at the memory.</p><p>Blair clutched the wheel tighter. “…Why are you telling me this?”</p><p>“Consider it a leap of faith.”</p><p>“I have a boyfriend,” Blair blurted out. “I’m not gay.”</p><p>“Okay,” April nodded, processing the interesting turn of tonight’s events. “I believe you.”</p><p>“Fuck you, April.”  </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Aw Blair... </p><p>Also, I don't like writing parents, can you tell? Hah. </p><p>The next update will probably be on Thursday.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I already wrote a large chunk of this chapter, and I'm going to be busy the next few days, so I was able to finish it early. </p><p>Disclaimer ~~~ don't read this at work ~~~~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sterling dug her spoon into her frozen yogurt, shoveling the sweet treat into her mouth before Bowser arrived. Having a personal set of keys was a great upgrade, although she might lose that privilege if Bowser caught Blair making out with Spencer in his office one more time. Sterling glanced at the star-struck couple, but they weren’t all over each other like they usually were and Blair kept pacing around.</p><p>Spencer halted Blair with a hand on her chest and kissed her on the cheek. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, caressing her jaw, casting his eyes down for a second when Blair pushed his hand away.</p><p>“I know you are, Spence,” Blair sighed, sparing a thin smile.</p><p>Sterling’s eyebrows creased together, though she decided not to butt in. Whatever was going on was between Blair and Spencer. Sterling felt like an intruder, being around for what was probably a private conversation.</p><p>“I’m free tonight,” Spencer said. “How does a movie and popcorn sound?”</p><p>Blair hummed, licking her lips. “Sounds like you’re paying.”</p><p>“Aight,” Spencer chuckled. “Fair enough.”</p><p>“You can kiss me now, but only because you’re hot and because I can’t stay mad at you.”</p><p>Sterling discarded her now empty cup in the bin, trying not to eavesdrop too much, but Blair hadn’t been the same since she took that gay test, which Sterling also took and confirmed they were both raging bisexuals. She was halfway ready to celebrate they had something in common again, but she held back her enthusiasm for Blair’s sake, who didn’t seem ready for a pride parade and all that jazz.</p><p>Last night, Blair confessed she lashed out at April for no reason other than personal frustration. Sterling texted her girlfriend later that night, who told her she didn’t take it to heart. Sometimes Blair got mad when she didn’t know how to deal with her feelings, Sterling knew that better than anyone, so she cut her sister some slack and ignored the fact Blair was unnecessarily rude toward April.</p><p>“Listen up, lovebirds,” Bowser spoke while he entered his office. “I’m seeing Yolanda in an hour and-”</p><p>Blair cupped her hands around her mouth. “Woot woot!” she shouted, grinning from ear to ear.</p><p>“Way to go, Bowser,” Sterling uttered, pumping her fist in the air.</p><p>“For the last time, it ain’t like that,” Bowser grumbled, tossing a file onto his desk.</p><p>Sterling exchanged a meaningful look with her sister. They both knew for a fact Bowser wished it would be exactly like that, but it was going to take time, even though Sterling overhead Terrance was no longer in the picture.</p><p>“Which bastard are we going after this weekend?” Blair asked, leaning her hip against the desk. “Ugh, I can’t wait for Friday to roll around the corner already,” she muttered. “School’s boring.”</p><p>“Hey, uh, about this weekend,” Sterling said, rubbing the back of her neck. “I need to take some time off,” she requested, pressing her teeth together. “I know it’s short notice, but I promise I’ll work twice as hard next week.”</p><p>Sterling wasn’t entirely sure yet why she couldn’t work this weekend, but April texted her like five minutes before she entered the shop, asking her to keep her calendar clear, without further details. Sterling assumed – and strongly hoped – April planned to go on a date with her. She could go for a do-over of the night they spent at the fun-zone, kissing each other instead of playing laser tag.</p><p>“Why don’t y’all both take the weekend off?” Bowser suggested, paging through his documents. “I’ve got this one.”</p><p>“Are you sure you won’t be lost without us?” Blair checked. “You might need my brilliant disguise and door-kicking talents.”</p><p>Sterling pulled out her phone, spamming her girlfriend with hearts and selfies she turned into memes, while in the background, her sister tried to convince Bowser he needed her to catch their next skip. Sterling smiled at April’s replies, which included dozens of hearts and kisses, but then April sent a picture of her wearing nothing but a green bikini, and Sterling shrieked so loud, she alerted Blair, Spencer, and Bowser, and cracked her screen as it fell onto the floor.</p><p>“Oh dear God,” Sterling breathed out, waving both of her hands in front of her face because it suddenly got very hot and she wasn’t entirely sure her lungs were cooperating.</p><p>Blair bent down, grabbing Sterling’s phone. “Oh shiii-,” Blair laughed, wisely swallowing the T when Sterling glared at her.</p><p>Blair glanced away, wrinkling her nose. “So that’s what a gay panic looks like,” she noted, holding Sterling’s phone by the corner with two fingers as if it was chock-full of germs.</p><p>Sterling tried to voice a response, but in the end, all she did was flail her arms like a penguin on the set of Happy Feet who forgot how to dance.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The hallway filled up with students, getting things from their lockers. April observed with little interest, eyes scanning the crowd while she leaned against her locker with her best friends, searching for her girlfriend, who possibly was still outside. Their lunch break wasn’t over yet and there was time to catch up with Sterling on the parking lot after school, but April couldn’t stand to wait any longer.</p><p>April looked up at Ezekiel, inhaling in the hopes it would help her feel steady even though her legs turned into jelly. “Yes,” she whispered, finding the strength to confirm his suspicion.</p><p>Ezekiel winked and smiled at April, but didn’t say anything.</p><p>April’s chest felt lighter and she managed to smile back, though not for long. When her eyes landed on Hannah B, she couldn’t help but notice her pouting while she stared down at her feet. Ezekiel being gay was great news for April, but she knew Hannah B had a crush on him and wasn’t likely to have reacted well.</p><p>“Can you give us a moment alone?” April requested, smiling at Ezekiel.</p><p>“Sure thing,” Ezekiel replied, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, disappearing from their sight.</p><p>“Are you okay, Han?” April asked, placing a hand on Hannah B’s lower back.</p><p>April changed her mind a second or two later and retracted her hand. She had to be mindful of her gestures to avoid coming across the wrong way. Sometimes, she couldn’t help it, such as when she grabbed Sterling’s arm at the debate. April was frustrated then and the moment Sterling looked at her hand funny, she had removed it as if burned. Back then, April was afraid Sterling could sense she wasn’t straight and perceived the touch as inappropriate. April didn’t want to make people uncomfortable by being too touchy-feely.</p><p>It cost her friendships in the past and now that Ezekiel knew the truth about her, April was on the cusp of telling Hannah B sometime soon. She couldn’t risk Hannah B reading into things the wrong way and the more April thought about it, the more she wondered if she made a terrible mistake by nicknaming Hannah B. Perhaps April had gone too soft, let her guard down too much.</p><p>“Spit it out, Hannah B,” April sighed audibly, immediately regretting the harshness in her voice.</p><p>Hannah B’s pout intensified. “I stepped on a ladybug,” she whispered, looking at April through wet lashes.</p><p>“O-oh,” April replied, blinking. “This isn’t about Ezekiel?”</p><p>Hannah B shook her head. “I’m happy for Ezekiel,” she answered with a smile that couldn’t be anything but genuine. “He’s gay, which means we can talk about cute boys together,” she stated, squealing.</p><p>April slowly swallowed and while it was a huge relief Hannah B seemed more than okay with Ezekiel not being straight, she wasn’t certain if Hannah B would be that elated when April came out as well. She couldn’t get past the idea of Hannah B thinking she wanted to get into her pants, which was false. April never had any such interest in Hannah B.</p><p>“I’ve always wanted a gay best friend,” Hannah B uttered, clapping her hands like she wasn’t sad a minute ago because she stepped on a ladybug.</p><p>“Oh, honey,” April chuckled at the irony. But then her smile faltered. “Me too,” she added, voice somewhat strained.</p><p>April caught a glimpse of Blair and as expected, she spotted Sterling right next to her. Sterling was stunning as always and once again, she was wearing black slacks with her white blouse tucked into them. April swore her girlfriend looked gayer by the day, which she didn’t mind one bit. Blair, on the other hand, resembled a dark cloud, predicting a storm. April wasn’t a fan of the older twin, but she genuinely felt bad for her, for struggling with her identity. And oddly enough, April almost wanted to hug Blair and tell her everything was going to be okay, but she knew better than to expose herself to a bolt of lightning.</p><p>“I have to go to the bathroom,” April excused herself, biting her lip for lying. “I’ll catch up with you later.”</p><p>April walked up to Sterling and bumped into her, shoving her arm with her shoulder.</p><p>“Watch where you’re going,” April demanded, crossing her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes.</p><p>A smile tugged at Sterling’s lips, but a split second later it was gone. “Ugh, you again,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “Go on without me,” she told her sister. “I’ll see you in class after I’ve dealt with this brat.”</p><p>April gasped. She knew Sterling didn’t mean any of it, not sincerely at least, but April didn’t appreciate being called a brat. She was not the spoiled little princess most of their peers believed her to be. Her upbringing was rough and she was only loved as someone she was not. April shut her eyes for a beat, telling her mind to stop digressing and digging into the past.</p><p>Sterling grabbed April by the arm and pulled with a gentle strength. There was a focused urge in the way Sterling tugged April along, but her touch didn’t feel bruising. Sterling kept going until they reached the janitor’s closet. She then pushed April inside, followed after her, and locked the door.</p><p>“Finally,” Sterling whispered, smiling while she turned on the light. “I’ve been wanting to ask you why you asked me to cancel any plans I might have had for this weekend.”</p><p>“I was wondering if you’d be interested in a sleepover at my place,” April shared, trailing her fingers down Sterling’s arm, flicking her eyes up. “We could hold hands,” April suggested, lowering her voice. “And cuddle,” she continued, pressing her lips to the underside of Sterling’s jaw. “And kiss,” April all but whispered, leaning forward on the tips of her toes to blow gently in Sterling’s ear.</p><p>Sterling moaned and stumbled against the wall behind her, pupils blown wide. “Kiss me,” she whined, grasping at April’s polo, tugging a little but not enough to pull her in.</p><p>April let out a delighted chuckle. “I don’t know, Sterl,” she hummed, licking her lips while she approached her girlfriend. “You sound out of breath and I don’t want you to get all winded before class,” she uttered, running the pad of her thumb across Sterling’s upper lip before doing the same with her bottom lip.</p><p>“Great, my soulmate’s a sex demon,” Sterling laughed lightly.</p><p>Hearing her say those words made April’s ears burn. Perhaps she was a bit of a demon, sure. But she was no sex demon, far from it, in fact. April hadn’t even lost her virginity yet, although she came close once in the back of Sterling’s car when they were making out, but they didn’t go that far. If she was honest, April didn’t want her first time to be in some vehicle in a parking lot. It wasn’t comfortable and it certainly wasn’t romantic.</p><p>“I’ll say yes to the sleepover,” Sterling announced, tongue darting out to wet her lips. “If you kiss me at least once because I’m dying here.”</p><p>April smiled at Sterling’s dramatic statement, though if she was fair, April couldn’t stand not kissing Sterling either and she wasn’t going anywhere until she stole Sterling’s breath at least once. April sighed happily when her mouth found Sterling’s, wrapping her arms around her neck and when Sterling placed her hands on April’s thighs, April didn’t protest when her one true soulmate lifted her up. Their lips disconnected for a brief moment as Sterling hoisted April higher while April snaked her legs around Sterling’s waist, and then they were kissing again.</p><p>Sterling spun around, pushing April up against the very wall she not long ago used to keep herself upright. April bit down on Sterling’s lip to regain some dominance, pleased when her actions elicited another moan from Sterling. And oh wow, April felt like moaning too, electricity coursed through her veins while her strong girlfriend carried her with ease.</p><p>April teased Sterling’s lips with her tongue, swallowing her shudders along with her own when their kiss deepened. Sterling felt warm and inviting, and April’s head spun as their tongues circled one another, wondering how Sterling managed to keep standing. April slowed down a bit, taking her time to taste her girlfriend’s lips, smiling into it at the knowledge she was making out with her soulmate. Sterling’s lips curved into a smile as well, which made this moment ten times better for April.</p><p>Her palms slid down Sterling’s front, inch by inch. April released a soft throaty moan when her hands came into contact with Sterling’s breasts, through the fabric of her blouse. Sterling moaned too, licking into April’s mouth, and then April cupped Sterling’s breasts, kneading them lightly with her fingers, delicately. April’s heart raced in her chest and she was suddenly very aware of Sterling’s hands on her ass, copping a feel, but it only spurred her on further.</p><p>April took Sterling’s lower lip in between her teeth while her touch grew more urgent, wishing Sterling’s blouse would magically disappear so she could have better access to her breasts, which were delightfully soft.</p><p>But then the bell rang and April wriggled until she got back her footing. She rummaged around for her pocket mirror, checking her face for anything that could give away what just happened in the janitor’s closet.</p><p>“I’ll see you at the sleepover,” Sterling winked, hand reaching for the door. </p><p>“Don’t get any funny ideas, Sterl,” April warned, straightening her polo, which had ridden up during their heated kiss. “And don’t forget your pajamas or you’ll have to sleep naked.”</p><p>“Your picture broke my phone!”</p><p>April tilted her head to the side. “What?”</p><p>“Bikini…you…hot,” Sterling uttered, cheeks red. “Bye!”</p><p>April chuckled, filing the information away for later. She had plenty of selfies of her in a bikini and she wasn’t opposed to taking one in her underwear, just for Sterling.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling emerged from the bathroom, teeth brushed vigorously, unbuttoning her shirt as she walked into her bedroom. She shut the door behind her before shrugging it off completely, padding over toward her closet to pick out a nice outfit and cute pajamas for her sleepover at April’s house. A million butterflies fluttered through Sterling’s stomach at the prospect of snuggling with her girlfriend and kissing her without having to think about her next class or someone walking in. The latter was possible, although surely they were bound to have some privacy in the middle of the night, and Sterling didn’t know about April, but she wasn’t planning on getting much sleep.</p><p>Even if April fell asleep at some point, Sterling was going to be wide awake, just admiring how pretty April was while wondering how on earth she got so lucky. Sterling felt like squealing the second April had invited her and April didn’t know, but after she left the janitor’s closet, Sterling pinched herself like five times and even asked her sister to pinch her, to confirm it was real life and not some fantasy from one of her dreams.</p><p>“Should I put on lingerie?” Sterling questioned, facing away from her closet to glance at her sister, who sat cross-legged on her bed.</p><p>“You might want to do more than that if tonight’s gonna be your big night,” Blair answered, wiggling her eyebrows.</p><p>Sterling’s eyes widened. “You think…?” she trailed off, and perhaps she should go back into the bathroom and shave her legs, even though she sort of already did that last night.</p><p>“She asked you to sleep with her,” Blair pointed out, somewhat out of context though not inaccurate. “And unlike with Luke, I doubt it’ll be all wham-bam thank you ma’am,” she commented, which wasn’t the nicest thing to say, but again not wrong. “Did you know girls can have multiple orgasms, especially if they sleep with a girl?”</p><p>Sterling opened and closed her mouth. “I don’t know what to do,” she confessed with a groan.</p><p>“Come to the master of sex,” Blair said, patting her mattress.</p><p>“Um, you haven’t slept with a girl either.”</p><p>“I was talking about Google, but thanks for the vote of confidence, you wanker.”</p><p>Sterling gasped. “Rude!”</p><p>Blair laughed. “Love you too, sis,” she replied, reaching under her bed. “Oh, by the way, you should watch Imagine Me &amp; You sometime and thank me later.”</p><p>Sterling hadn’t seen it yet, but she heard it was gay, so she was absolutely going to. There were other movies she wanted to give a watch as well, although first, she needed to finish the L-word. She plopped down next to her sister, staring while Blair retrieved something from underneath her bed.</p><p>Blair held up a paper bag. “I went shopping,” she grinned, holding it upside down, spilling the contents onto her bed.</p><p>There was a small bottle, which fit in Sterling’s hand, and upon closer inspection appeared to be lube, and a purple phallic-shaped item with rabbit ears on top. She gasped, staring at the vibrator, wondering why it was so big. Was that thing supposed to fit inside of her? It looked like it would hurt to push it all in. Luke’s penis was nice, but it didn’t have that much girth. Her fingers did more for her than he ever did, which wasn’t his fault because he couldn’t help it he didn’t have any experience or knowledge about the female orgasm.</p><p>“You went to a sex shop without me?” Sterling whispered, jaw going slack again.</p><p>It was a milestone they should have crossed together, as sisters. Sterling figured they had to wait until they were twenty-one to set foot in one of those, but apparently, that wasn’t the case unless Blair passed as an adult, like they did that time at the strip club.</p><p>“Mhmm,” Blair hummed. “Picked myself up some stuff too, but these are for you.”</p><p>“I don’t know how to use these,” Sterling responded, cheeks burning as if she were sitting in front of an open fire.</p><p>Sterling never owned any sex toys before and before April got her all hot and bothered at the debate, she never even touched herself. Masturbating felt <em>so</em> good, but Sterling didn’t need any lube or toys to climax when thinking about her girlfriend was more than enough to make her come up to four times before her clit became too sensitive to keep going.</p><p>“That’s what the video is for,” Blair explained, gesturing at her laptop poised at the edge of her bed. “Watch and learn, and don’t drool on my sheets.”</p><p>Sterling grabbed one of the pillows behind her, nestling it onto her lap, snuggling her arms comfortably on top while her eyes glued themselves to the screen. There was a woman in the video with long blonde curly hair, wearing a pink babydoll set, which suited her beautifully, and then a brunette appeared, wearing opal boxer shorts with a matching sports bra.</p><p>The women started out with a slow sensual kiss and oh okay, Sterling was definitely one-hundred percent bisexual. She licked her lips, hands scooting around the pillow, only to realize there was no popcorn or some other snack to munch on during this short movie.</p><p>Sterling leaned forward a little, getting a closer look when the brunette stepped into a harness and attached a rainbow-colored dildo, larger than the rabbit vibrator she received. The woman’s abs flexed as she positioned herself on top of the blonde.</p><p>“Damn,” Blair whistled. “She’s hot,” she commented, nodding her head at the brunette with the strap-on.</p><p>Sterling’s eyes shifted from the porn video to her sister, round and questioning.</p><p>Blair pressed pause, angling her body toward her sister. “Spencer is going back home tonight, I’m allowed to admire someone else’s looks,” she stated flatly.</p><p>Sterling’s first instinct was to say sorry, but she didn’t. Her second instinct was to tell Blair how much it sucked that Spencer was leaving and that therefore, they were thinking of ending things, but she didn’t say that either.</p><p>“I could cancel and stay with you,” Sterling offered.</p><p>“Nah, it’s not my first rodeo,” Blair dismissed, shaking her head. “I’ll be fine. You go and have sex with your girlfriend,” she winked. “And don’t forget the lube.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>TBH fans...I'm sure you've heard the news by now. Netflix canceled the show and that hurts. I feel your pain and I want more of our beloved characters, of the representation we all deserve. My heart goes out to the cast, who tirelessly invested their time and love into joining the watch parties, and acknowledging selfies and other tweets, as well as going live on Instagram. </p><p>I intend to keep writing, though it's possible I might be slower with my next update while I'm processing my feelings. I want to remind each of you to stay hydrated and be kind to yourself. If all you did today was get out of bed, that's okay. And if you didn't, that's okay too. You're allowed to take a mental health day. Together, we'll keep raising our voices to be heard. Hopefully, some other network will save TBH so we can have more of the chaotic Wesley twins and Stepril softness. </p><p>xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>April cut up the blueberries and the strawberries into tiny pieces, tossed them into the blender, and watched as the colors swirled. Aside from the smoothies, she made finger food and fixed two bowls of chips, one salty and the other spicy. There was ice cream in the freezer, in case of a sweet tooth situation, and a collection of toppings such as sprinkles and whipped cream. There was a bowl of fruit salad in the refrigerator, next to a plate with different kinds of cheese and salami, and a dip sauce April was taught how to make by her late grandmother Madeline on a rainy afternoon when April was nine.</p><p><em>Any woman worth her salt knows how to cook a fine meal</em>, her grandmother used to say. April smiled whenever she heard those words while wondering why her daddy never lifted a finger in the kitchen. It was such a peculiar thing to her young mind, how her mother cooked and cleaned while her father read the newspaper at the table or screamed at the television in the living room. But despite her questions and puzzled thoughts, April knew her elders were meant to be respected, and as such, politely nodded along.</p><p>“Should I add lemon?” April wondered as she poured the smoothies into two tall glasses.</p><p>April hadn’t had a sleepover with Sterling since the fifth grade and while she knew her preferences like the back of her hand then, she wasn’t sure if Sterling still preferred the same snacks she did six years ago. April wanted this night to be perfect, for anything less simply wouldn’t do. She went through the mental notes in her head, which mainly was providing enough options, asking Sterling on which side of her bed she wished to sleep, and preparing a spare toothbrush as well as pajamas, in case Sterling forgot hers.</p><p>“Where…,” April muttered, frowning while she rummaged through the drawers. “Where are the metal straws?” she mumbled, sighing as her detailed schedule unraveled itself.</p><p>April’s breathing quickened while she moved around, feeling as though she was going to forget something important. She glanced down at her outfit, checking she remembered to put her pajamas on, which she did. For tonight, she opted for a pair of grey leggings with little black hearts dotted on them and a black tank top, after having gone through about a third of her closet.</p><p>Her mind wandered briefly, back to the other pajamas she tried on. Perhaps April should change. What if her Calvin Klein boxer shorts with matching sports bra was the wrong choice? She felt comfortable in her clothes, but this night was supposed to be romantic because it was technically a date. Admittedly, there were no lit candles or rose petals or any of those things, considering she had to keep it under wraps that Sterling was so much more than just a friend. But despite the obstacles, April wanted this sleepover to be special.</p><p>“You seem nervous, sweetheart,” April’s mother spoke up, causing April to jump a little at her sudden presence next to her.</p><p>April quit pacing around and relaxed her hands at her sides.</p><p>“Are you feeling well?” her mother asked, brushing a strand of April’s hair behind her ear.</p><p>“I’m perfectly all right, mother,” April responded, swallowing around a tight smile.</p><p>Her mother tilted her head to the side, eyes crinkling at the corners while her lips curved into a kind smile. She almost seemed carefree, but the wrinkles in her skin and the red blots barely hidden underneath a layer of makeup betrayed how worn down she was. April never saw her mother age as fast as she did in the past two months, but she didn’t want to mention her father, out of concern of the mental state it would put her mother in.</p><p>“I must say I am surprised you and Sterling are friends again,” her mother commented with a tone that April could only decipher as curious.</p><p>“Um, same,” April nodded, smoothing her hands down the sides of her top. She mentally fumbled around to form a coherent sentence, one she could voice with confidence rather than as if someone were squeezing their fingers around her throat.</p><p>“You were quite upset all those years ago,” her mother noted with a weary sigh. “Are you certain you wish to associate yourself with that Wesley girl?”</p><p>“Sterling and I ignited our friendship after we received another A+. Ellen has been quite vocal of our talents when we combine our strengths,” April claimed, mind flooding with memories of the two of them partnering up. “And she’s made great points. Plus, teamwork makes the dream work,” she added without thinking, realizing too late that was what her father used to say.</p><p>Her mother padded over to the cupboard. “I will be in the family room,” she announced, grabbing one of their crystal champagne glasses which they kept for special occasions, such as when April’s father wanted to celebrate a Republican became president.</p><p>Her mother ogled the snacks. “Don’t eat too much or you’ll get a stomachache,” she warned, helping herself to a handful of chips before she walked out of the kitchen.</p><p>With a quiet exhale, April sagged against the countertop, flattening her palms on the cool marble. Tonight, her thoughts were all over the place and as a result, she didn’t pay proper attention. Indirectly hurting her mother could have easily been avoided if April suppressed her nerves to maintain awareness; though dancing around a topic that used to be frequently visited was no small challenge.</p><p>The doorbell rang, causing her to chuckle at the silly irony of being saved by the bell. April hoisted herself upright and somehow stumbled over her feet twice on her way to the front door. She inhaled what felt like the deepest breath known in humankind before reaching out to welcome her future inside.</p><p>There she was. The love of April’s life, the beat to her heart, the air in her lungs, the main character of her every dream both waking and sleeping, the muse of her artwork, the reason she got up in the morning and braved a new day, the lyrics to the song in her head, the creator of the butterflies in her stomach, and the soulmate she was blessed to have.</p><p>“Hello, Sterling,” April greeted with a smile that reached her eyes. “You are right on time,” she remarked praising, happy her girlfriend didn’t keep her waiting another minute or even a second.</p><p>“Cute jammies,” Sterling uttered, hands clutched behind her back.</p><p>April glanced down at her getup. “Thanks,” she responded, smiling. “I was aiming for lethal, but the night is still young for you to faint already,” she commented with a wink.</p><p>“I, uh, got you something,” Sterling shared, blushing. “It’s not much, but, yeah, here,” she said while revealing a small handful of daisies. “Pretty flowers for a pretty girl,” she smiled, holding them out.</p><p>It was corny, yet April couldn’t stop smiling as though she got handed a great treasure. She peeked around and when the coast seemed clear, she planted a kiss on Sterling’s cheek. “Thank you for the flowers,” April whispered, resisting the temptation to place one of them in Sterling’s hair.</p><p>“May I come in?” Sterling queried, shuffling from one foot onto the other. “Not that I mind the view, but it’s getting chilly,” she reasoned with a light laugh, rubbing her hands up and down her arms.</p><p>April looked at her girlfriend, really looked at her this time. Her black and grey outfit paled in comparison to Sterling’s crimson satin shorts that stopped mid-thigh, showing off her legs that went on for days, gorgeously tanned and a reminder of sunny vacations in Hawaii, sipping iced tea on the beach. April’s eyes raked higher, mouth dry at the thin top with spaghetti bands, made out of the same fabric as the shorts.</p><p>“I’ll get you a robe,” April offered, cringing at how squeaky her voice sounded.</p><p>Jesus H. Christ, the faster April covered Sterling with a robe, the better. On one hand, April could not deal with keeping her hands to herself for more than five minutes, if that, while they enjoyed the snacks she prepared, and on the other hand, she could only imagine what her mother would think or say if she saw Sterling practically showed up half-naked.</p><p>April turned around, hiding her grimace at the memory of Hannah B showing up in a babydoll once. Her parents were livid, drove Hannah B home, and told April to never dress like a baby hooker the way her best friend had. Hannah B’s getup was indeed inappropriate, though it was an exaggeration to compare her to a prostitute. Then again, April’s father would know more about their clothes than she did.</p><p>April reached blindly behind her for Sterling’s hand, tugging once she got a hold of her while holding on to the flowers with the other. “My mother’s home,” she whispered before her girlfriend could question her behavior.</p><p>“Is that why you’re in such a rush to take me to your room?” Sterling commented, and from the lightness in her voice, April assumed she was smiling.</p><p>As soon as she said those words, April let go of Sterling’s hand. Sterling was such a distraction and one day, April was going to expose herself as a result if she wasn’t cautious. She took the stairs two steps at a time and half-jogged toward the bathroom, grabbing her pink bathrobe.</p><p>“Hey, uh…,” Sterling uttered, chewing her lip, accepting the robe. “Can I borrow one of your shirts and a pair of sweats or leggings?”</p><p>“My heart and now my clothes,” April mused, smiling while she entered her bedroom.</p><p>April opened the drawer of the nightstand next to her bed and gently placed the flowers inside, on top of her sketchbook. Later, she would let them dry properly and put them with her other valuable memories in the safe she kept under her bed.</p><p>“What’s next?” April asked, catching Sterling still standing in the hall, beckoning her inside with a crooked finger.</p><p>Sterling obeyed the silent call and once they were both in April’s bedroom, Sterling closed the door and leaned against it. “A kiss,” she whispered, running her hands up April’s arms, starting at her wrists.</p><p>“Gosh,” Sterling breathed out, squeezing April’s biceps.</p><p>There was a twinkle in April’s eyes while her girlfriend set her skin aflame with goosebumps. If Sterling kept touching her, April wasn’t sure how long she could keep standing.</p><p>Sterling’s tongue darted out, wetting her lips. “You’re sexy.”</p><p>“Look into the mirror, honey,” April chuckled, eying Sterling’s pajamas, which was closer to lingerie than actual pajamas. </p><p>“Do you work out?”</p><p>“Is that meant to be a pickup line?” April questioned, tilting her head.</p><p>It would have been lame coming from literally anyone else, but from Sterling, it was more than enough for April to want to kiss her. She didn’t mind if her girlfriend happened to be terrible at flirting because it added to Sterling’s natural charm.</p><p>“No, honestly,” Sterling insisted, mapping her fingers around April’s upper arms.</p><p>April’s lips curved into a smirk. “Are my arms part of the reason why you think I have BDE?”</p><p>The internet was rather resourceful and after April couldn’t find what it meant in the dictionary, she searched for it online, needing to know at the time what had caused Sterling to blush so much. Once April discovered the slang her peers were so terribly fond of these days, her cheeks reddened possibly more than Sterling’s had.</p><p>Sterling’s eyes grew as wide as saucers. “You, err…,” she gulped, laughing, eyes darting around. “You looked up what it means?”</p><p>April closed the space between them. It was her turn now to run her hands up Sterling’s arms. “You called me daddy,” April recalled, whispering the words in her girlfriend’s ear, trapping her in place with her arms. “And you said it’s because I have big…dick…energy,” she hummed, having practiced those words out loud in front of the mirror, for the day she would confront Sterling and watch her squirm.</p><p>“Oh fuck,” Sterling yelped quietly, ducking underneath April’s arm. “Shit,” Sterling cursed. “Sorry!”</p><p>“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Sterling repeated. “I didn’t mean to curse…I…You said the words and I…”</p><p>April knew profanities were something to abhor, but she could only scold herself while she wished to hear Sterling say <em>fuck</em> again. It was wrong and April knew it, but her desire didn’t care. She longed for Sterling’s lips, to feel that word reverberate against hers and wrap her tongue around it, swallowing it down.</p><p>The door remained closed and there were no footsteps in the hall, though April knew she had to be careful, so she settled for a peck on Sterling’s lips. Sterling gasped one second and chased after April the next, stopping three inches from her face, a question in her eyes.</p><p>April cupped Sterling’s jaw and God knew how much she yearned, how it burned her up inside not to act on her feelings. “Not now,” April sighed, sliding her hand to the back of her girlfriend’s neck. “Later,” she promised, resting their foreheads together.</p><p>They stood in April’s bedroom like that for ten seconds, maybe twenty, just breathing in the air between them, neither of them saying a word while they reached for each other’s hands and laced their fingers.</p><p>April opened her closet, pointing at her neatly folded clothes. “Pick any kind of shirt and sweats you want,” she offered, smiling, but then she heard someone at her door.</p><p>Sterling’s head snapped in the direction of the door. “I’ll…hide?”</p><p>April nodded. “There,” she mouthed, pointing at her bed. “Under.”</p><p>Sterling tiptoed to April’s bed and in any other situation this could have been a dream come true, but tonight, in this one, it was a waking nightmare. April should have let Sterling get changed immediately, without teasing her first. But those <em>what-ifs</em> were too late now.</p><p>April sucked in a deep breath, composing herself as she went to open the door. “Mom, I-” she uttered, freezing in place when it wasn’t her mother on the other side.</p><p>“Hi,” April said, mentally telling her pulse to stop racing.</p><p>Sergeant Bilko ran into April’s bedroom, tail waggling back and forth. With a meow, he ducked under April’s bed. Sterling shrieked and at that point, April laughed and felt the tension leave her body.</p><p>“You can come out now,” April announced with a chuckle, closing her door.</p><p>Sterling shuffled out from underneath the bed. “A head’s up would have been nice,” she huffed, picking up Sergeant Bilko who began purring. “You know, something like, hey, Sterl, my cat is going to attack your face with kisses, so don’t freak out, it’s not a giant rat.”</p><p>“We all process our shock in our own way, babe,” April replied, resting a hand on her chest.</p><p>Sterling put Sergeant Bilko down on top of April’s bed. “I should probably get changed now,” Sterling commented, which was a good idea. “But first…payback.”</p><p>April’s eyebrows creased together. “Pay-”</p><p>Sterling lifted April up, pushed her back against the wall, and kissed her so deeply April felt her soul leave her body for a hot second. She reciprocated, moving her mouth in tandem with Sterling’s, nails scraping down the satin of Sterling’s top.</p><p>Half an hour later, they settled on the couch downstairs with the snacks displayed on the coffee table. April’s mother wished both of them a good night before excusing herself to her room, leaving them to their sleepover. Sterling’s scandalous pajamas had made place for April’s grey sweats and a faded navy shirt, and oh, her heart did summersaults in her chest at the sight.</p><p>If Sterling ever wanted to borrow clothes from her again, April certainly wouldn’t mind. She never pegged herself for the type of person who would be on board with exchanging clothes, yet here she was, thinking about a future where they would do things like this all of the time. There was an appeal to it, really, if she truly thought about wearing something that belonged to Sterling. April imagined herself in bed late at night, alone, curled up in one of Sterling’s hoodies.</p><p>“What?” Sterling questioned, smiling at April.</p><p>April unfolded a blanket, to stay nice and warm. “I’m thinking,” she sighed softly, covering both of them. “Seeing you in my clothes…,” she trailed off, returning Sterling’s beautiful smile with one of her own.</p><p>“You can wear mine some time, if you want,” Sterling offered, catching on quick. “Don’t tell Blair though,” she added with a chuckle followed by a groan, “or she’ll use it as an excuse to stretch out more of my clothes.”</p><p>April held an invisible key and locked it. “My lips are sealed,” she assured with a wink.</p><p>They fell into a blissful kind of silence then. There was a movie on the television, although it might have been a documentary. If April was honest, she focused more on whether Sterling liked the food she prepared, holding her breath the first time Sterling tried a piece of everything. There seemed to be no complaints, only faint moans, and the smacking of Sterling’s lips after she popped something into her mouth.</p><p>April sat cozily under the blanket, nestled warmly. She finally relaxed, until Sterling’s hand reached for hers, and April flinched at the contact.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Sterling whispered, lifting her hand out from underneath the blanket.</p><p>April rolled her lips in her mouth. “No, I’m sorry,” she responded, releasing a shaky breath. “It’s a silly habit,” she excused with a smile, waving it away.</p><p>With her mother upstairs and the blanket to act as a shield, April was okay with holding hands. She shouldn’t have jumped the way she did, but she couldn’t help herself. The fear of getting caught was so engraved in her mind she naturally deflected close contact when it happened out of the blue.</p><p>“I’d like to hold hands,” April confessed, swallowing the please that emerged from the back of her throat.</p><p>Sterling’s lips split into the prettiest smile and without another word of encouragement, her hand dove back under the blanket, reaching for April’s. This time, she was prepared and welcomed the touch.</p><p>April couldn’t for the life of her say what was happening in the movie or in the documentary right now. Someone could shut off the television entirely and she wouldn’t notice the difference. All she saw was Sterling; Sterling smiling at her while her eyes lit up with the warm brightness of a Christmas tree, Sterling running her fingers absentmindedly through her hair as she got lost in her thoughts, Sterling glancing down and blushing when she felt shy or adorably embarrassed, Sterling showing up in lingerie while holding herself with such innocence it was unfair, Sterling, Sterling, Sterling.</p><p>The gnawing of April’s stomach diverted her attention to the last chip in the bowl. Stretching her fingers, she reached out to grab it, only to watch it get stolen by her soulmate.</p><p>“Hey, I was planning on eating that,” April commented, staring her girlfriend down.</p><p>“You’re stuck with me,” Sterling said, bright and beautiful in her very existence. “So you better get used to it, babe,” she teased, licking her fingers clean.</p><p>Well, April couldn’t argue with that logic.</p><p>“I hope to be stuck with you forever,” April mused with a dreamy sigh, forgetting herself. “I can’t wait to marry you someday.”</p><p>Sterling’s jaw dropped, ripping April out of her romance-induced stupor. She shouldn’t have voiced her thoughts out loud, not this early in their relationship, soulmates or not. The risk of scaring Sterling away was too great, but April knew it was too late to take her words back. She spoke from the heart, in a carefree moment where the walls around her disappeared into thin air.</p><p>Tears shone in Sterling’s eyes. “I love you times a billion,” she exclaimed with a wet chuckle, wrapping her arms around April, holding her so close their heartbeats formed a melody of their own.</p><p>“I love you times a billion, too,” April breathed out, caressing Sterling’s hair.</p><p>Despite the emotions flowing from both of them, swirling around them, April respectfully tore herself away with the unspoken promise they would kiss later and hold each other even more. It was no easy task, mind you, though knowing they had all night helped April to keep her desires under wraps.</p><p>Sterling bit her lip. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” she uttered, clasping their hands together in between their bodies. “When I was under your bed, I noticed a metal box.”</p><p>“Oh that,” April noted, sparing a smile. “It’s a safe,” she clarified. “It’s where I keep…” She glanced at her girlfriend, swallowing her nerves.</p><p>“It’s where I keep things that matter,” April finished, caressing the back of her soulmate’s hand. “I’d put you in there if I could, but you’re ridiculously tall.”</p><p>Sterling chuckled, lips stretching into a smile. “Maybe I should get one of those,” she hummed, nodding. “You’re pretty small, I bet you’d fit.”</p><p>April freed her hand and used it to shove Sterling, shaking her head at her antics. In God’s name, April would ask Sterling for her hand in marriage someday, which much to her joy was legalized a few years ago. The day it happened, April sang her heart out in her room, but then her father walked in, grumbling and muttering about blasphemy and how all homosexuals would burn in hell, and she changed her tune and claimed she was in the middle of practicing for the school musical. April never had any interest to be on stage, in the spotlight, despite what others thought of her. But team Stevens always won, so two weeks later, April scored the lead role, and Hannah B who really wanted the part, cried her eyes out while April’s parents celebrated her talent.</p><p>“Are you okay, my love?” Sterling asked, stroking April’s jaw, just for a second.</p><p>April’s heart was the first to react, banging against its confinements of her ribcage. “Yes, baby, I’m fine,” she answered, giving her girlfriend’s hand a squeeze. “Some of my memories, I’d rather not keep at all,” she confessed with a heavy sigh.</p><p>“Will you talk about those with me someday?”</p><p>April nodded. “Someday.”</p><p>Tonight was too special to waste on the past. April didn’t want to soak up the time they had with teary stories of the mistakes she made and the things she wished her parents had done differently. The past was gone and one day, she would share every part of herself, let Sterling see the good and the bad, but not right now.</p><p>“I made smoothies,” April announced, suddenly recalling she hadn’t placed them on the coffee table yet. “And there’s a dip sauce you might like.”</p><p>Sterling gasped. “There’s dip and you let me eat all of this dry until now?”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear your complaints over you moaning at every bite,” April quipped with a sly grin.</p><p>Laughing as she went, April fetched the smoothies and the dip she made from scratch, along with chips of which she hoped to eat at least a few before Sterling finished the rest of them. Then again, April would happily let her girlfriend have it all, watching her enjoy each flavor. She found the metal straws and with a successful smile, emerged from the kitchen.</p><p>Sterling dipped her finger in the sauce, sucking it clean. “This tastes amazing, April!” she declared, immediately helping herself to more.</p><p>April blinked. “Should I get you a spoon or…?” she teased, looking at Sterling foregoing any sense of etiquette.</p><p>“Oh gosh, you must think me an animal,” Sterling giggled, retrieving her finger from the bowl. “I guess I kind of got carried away, didn’t I?”</p><p>April wrapped her fingers around Sterling’s wrist, held her gaze, and brought her finger to her lips. April’s tongue circled the single digit, and she meant for it to be an innocent enough gesture, but when Sterling let out a sound caught between a gasp and a moan, April knew she acted purely on desire.</p><p>April settled on the couch once more, clearing her throat. “My grandmother taught me how to make that dip,” she explained as if that diversion would excuse her behavior.</p><p>Sterling ogled April’s lips, nodding along to her words without looking into her eyes. Sterling didn’t tear away her gaze as she took a chip and dipped it into the sauce. April silently opened her mouth when Sterling offered the snack to her, feeling the pads of Sterling’s fingers brushing against her lips.</p><p>April had to force herself to pretend to look at the television, even though she was not before she devoured Sterling on the couch when her mother might decide to come and check up on them, to see how they were doing.</p><p>“I think the movie’s finished,” Sterling commented after a while, pointing at the screen where the credits rolled. “And we depleted the snacks.”</p><p>April arched a brow. “We?”</p><p>“What’s mine is yours and all that,” Sterling answered with a nod. “Ipso facto, we ate the snacks.”</p><p>April snorted, shaking her head at her dork of a girlfriend. “Let’s go to my room…it’s late,” she uttered, thinking of tasting her soulmate’s lips.</p><p>“You can go ahead without me,” April spoke, gathering the empty bowls and plates. “I’ll be right there.”</p><p>Sterling took one of the bowls and one of the plates. “I’ll help,” she responded, moving on to the kitchen.</p><p>To April, as Sterling rinsed the dishes and handed them to her so she could put them in the dishwasher, it felt as if this was what they had been doing for the past year. There was a comfortable easiness to it all, the way they worked together to clean everything up. It felt like less of a chore now, replaced instead by quality time, and April smiled at the realization of how much value she found in such a small detail.</p><p>With Sterling’s help, everything was in order within five minutes. They shared the bathroom, brushing their teeth, and refreshing their faces with water. April repeated the latter a second time, needing the extra ten seconds to catch her breath before crawling underneath her sheets with the love of her life.</p><p>“Which side--” April stopped in her tracks, finger at the light switch.</p><p>Sterling sprawled her arms and legs out, in the middle of the bed, dead center. Her fingers dug into the pillows, humming while she nuzzled her head in between them. “Your bed is way better than mine,” she declared, rolling onto her side. “And it smells like you,” she whispered, inhaling a deep breath.</p><p>“Scoot over,” April demanded, flicking off the lights.</p><p>“Why? You’re small, you don’t need much space.”</p><p>“Listen, you tall giraffe,” April replied, lost in the sound of Sterling’s laughter.</p><p>April climbed onto her bed, grabbing a hold of Sterling’s left wrist and then her right as well, pushing her down onto her back. Lights or no lights, April had no trouble finding Sterling’s lips with hers, claiming them with a feverish passion, finally getting what she waited for.</p><p>Sterling leaned up into the kiss, lips melting against April’s, moving at the pace she set. She felt the softness of Sterling’s lips, pressing against hers while her hands moved away from Sterling’s wrists. Their tongues met while their hands wandered. April shifted her weight on top of Sterling, licking her bottom lip, tracing every inch as her right leg slotted between Sterling’s. April gasped at the same time Sterling did and realizing where her right knee rested, April rolled onto her side, pulling Sterling along with her just enough not to break their kiss for too long.</p><p>Sterling ran one hand down April’s side, threading the other into her hair, kneading gently. April felt Sterling’s hand on her hip, fingers plucking the hem of her top, toying with it while April’s hand rested on Sterling’s stomach, and gosh, her skin was warm. It was a pleasant feeling, similar to sitting outside during the summer and feeling the sun on her skin, yet hotter somehow.</p><p>April bit Sterling’s lip, lightly, overcome with a strange spell of dizziness when Sterling’s hand wandered under her pajamas, sneaking toward her ribs. It tickled April, but it also made her very aware of what their kiss had spiraled into. She parted her lips from her girlfriend’s, swallowing as she rolled over onto her back, fingers touching the purity ring she wore every day.</p><p>Usually, April had a habit of taking it off once she got into bed and placing it on top of her nightstand, but tonight she got distracted. She swallowed again, toying with her ring, thinking about the commitment she made, the vow that meant a great deal to her. Her ring was a symbol of saving herself until marriage, of staying pure, but when she made that promise, she had no idea she would have a soulmate and fall deeply in love.</p><p>“Hey,” Sterling whispered, caressing April’s cheek with the back of her index finger, “what’s wrong?”</p><p>“I don’t know how I feel about sexual intercourse outside of marriage,” April admitted, pushing her ring with her thumb and her pointer finger. “I want to ravage you, I do, but not in that way. Not yet. At least, I don’t think so. Or maybe I do, I’m not sure.”</p><p>“We don’t have to have sex right now,” Sterling responded, smiling softly. “I’m more than happy to hold your hand.”</p><p>“You’re not a virgin,” April blurted out. “Which I don’t hold against you,” she added, although she was aware her actions in the past looked like she did. “You’re allowed to make your own choices.”</p><p>“But I wonder,” April pondered aloud, swallowing the lump in her throat that kept trying to choke her up. “Will I be enough if I decide to wait?”</p><p>April bit her lip, once again asking Sterling to make a sacrifice for her. April wanted to stay in the closet and keep their relationship a secret, so Sterling agreed to her wishes. April requested pretending to still be enemies at school, and Sterling followed her lead. What if it was too much? April didn’t hold Sterling’s hand at the lock-in and even though it was complicated, it was the one thing Sterling pleaded for April to do. The realization made April feel worse. She had no right to be insecure while Sterling waited for her to pull the strings one way or another.</p><p>April inhaled a shaky breath. “If you want to have sex-”</p><p>“I don’t,” Sterling cut in. She let out a nervous laugh. “I, uh, I’m actually not ready to go all the way either,” she voiced, running a hand through her hair, brushing it out of her face.</p><p>“I thought I was the one who sucked at communicating,” April noted with a bemused smile.</p><p>Underneath, her relief was huge. April was happy to learn they were on the same page, which reduced her doubts significantly. When Sterling gasped and threatened to launch a pillow fight, April felt her smile reach her soul, casting sunlight into the darkness she spent years pouring in there to bury her true self, to stay hidden in the shadows under the willow tree.</p><p>But now, much as the rare ink on her abdomen had, that darkness began to burst out in color.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The sleepover isn't over yet, but this chapter got long, and I figured you were all eager for an update. So, instead of having you all wait a few extra days, the rest will be continued in the next chapter. </p><p>With that said, I want to remind everyone I can't always update fast. Writing takes time and I have other responsibilities, which are more of a priority than this. Maybe I'll be able to finish the next chapter this weekend, but it might take longer, so be a little bit patient and don't stress me out. I know what it's like to be excited and it's great you want more, but once I feel rushed and start stressing, it makes me not want to write anymore. </p><p>I will be finishing this fanfic, so no worries. :-) </p><p> </p><p>Oh, and, about there not being smut in this chapter; I didn't tag it and I feel like April attached meaning to her vow, which she wouldn't break just like that. So yeah...chase me with a pitchfork later.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>~reminder that this fanfic is marked as mature~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I dare you to kiss me.”</p><p>April smiled that precious smile of hers. “That’s the third time, Sterl,” she sighed with a shake of her head, though her smile didn’t waver one bit.</p><p>Sterling smiled back and even though it was probably way past 2 a.m by now, she wasn’t sleepy at all, and so far her girlfriend appeared wide awake as well. Sterling told herself that once she caught April yawning, she would insist on getting some shuteye, even though for Sterling that simply meant admiring the view until her body forced her eyes closed. And so, with both of them still having energy to spare, for now, they played truth or dare, despite Sterling’s attempt at convincing her girlfriend to spin a bottle instead.</p><p>“You’re the one who keeps picking dare,” Sterling shot back. “Three times in a row now,” she recalled, holding up three fingers.</p><p>“You might have a point there,” April chuckled lightly, leaning forward.</p><p>Sterling grabbed a fistful of April’s top, smiling as the space between them grew smaller.</p><p>April’s tongue traced Sterling’s upper lip and when Sterling gasped into the feeling, April deepened their kiss, lips flitting against Sterling’s with accurate precision. She followed the rhythm April set, moved when she moved, dancing with her in a way that made Sterling blush and smile without disconnecting her lips from April’s.</p><p>But alas, all good things came to an end, although Sterling hoped April would be all over her again soon. When people warned Sterling about drugs, they never mentioned how intoxicating a person could be.</p><p>“Your turn,” April shuddered.</p><p>“Mhmm,” Sterling hummed, rubbing her hands together. “Truth.”</p><p>“Are you disappointed in me?” April questioned, and gosh, the vulnerability in her voice pulled at Sterling’s heartstrings.</p><p>April didn’t elaborate, but she didn’t need to. Sterling understood just fine what she was talking about.  </p><p>“I’m not, I’m really not,” Sterling answered, reaching out to hold hands. “Saying maybe is the same as saying no. Maybe isn’t consent, only a yes is, a meant yes that feels natural and is said without a shadow of a doubt,” she explained, in what she hoped made sense. “And I want to have sex with you someday,” she continued, “but it’s not something I want to rush. I’m actually like, really relieved you’re not ready either because I don’t want to let you down. I don’t want you to think I love you any less for not worshipping every inch of your body like that just yet.”</p><p>April’s mouth was agape, and for a couple of seconds, she didn’t say a word. Sterling wondered if her honesty was too much and she didn’t want to sound too insecure, but she couldn’t stop worrying from time to time, thinking of the recent past where April broke up with her because she was scared. And things were different now, with them being soulmates and all of that fun stuff, but Sterling knew hardly anything in life was guaranteed.</p><p>“You say all of that about consent yet you worry about letting me down?” April noted, smiling. “What would you have done if I was ready to take the next step?”</p><p>“Ah-ah,” Sterling responded, waving her finger back and forth. “It’s not your turn to ask a question anymore. Truth or dare?”</p><p>April’s smile widened. “Dare,” she whispered, nudging Sterling’s nose with hers.</p><p>April’s mouth was hot and oh so inviting, and Sterling felt she deserved an award for not getting swept up in the moment. Sterling didn’t taste April’s tongue like she wanted to and didn’t bite her lip, but she did kiss April back.</p><p>Sterling smiled into the contact of which she couldn’t get enough, more awake with each passing minute, thanks to her pretty girlfriend, who happened to be an amazing kisser. “I didn’t dare you yet,” she pointed out, sliding her arm around April, exhaling when April curled into her side.</p><p>April rested her head on Sterling’s shoulder, smiling right back at her. Sterling stroked her hand up and down April’s back and placed a soft kiss against her forehead. Lord almighty, the way Sterling loved this girl was surreal, no wonder they were soulmates. Every cell in April’s body called out to the ones in hers, like a powerful magnet, reeling her in.</p><p>“I dare you to kiss my neck,” Sterling decided, running her fingers lightly through April’s hair.</p><p>April turned, placing one hand on her pillow and the other on Sterling’s shoulder. Sterling reached hers up, gathering April’s soft locks, whimpering at the first touch of April’s lips where her shoulder met her neck. April trailed kisses up Sterling’s skin, tender and slow, bringing her mouth little by little closer to the underside of Sterling’s ear.</p><p>Sterling bit back a moan, although her cards were probably already on the table. Her entire body was hyperaware of April’s lips, kissing her pulse point, and for a second, she thought about April leaving a hickey, tangible proof of this night. But then Sterling’s focus shifted to April’s fingers, flexing against her shoulder, nails scraping at her skin just enough to evoke a whimper.</p><p>“God, April,” Sterling moaned as silently as she could.</p><p>April backed away, face hovering above Sterling’s. “You like that, baby?” April practically purred.</p><p>“Fuck,” Sterling whispered, burying a hand in her hair. “It’s not fair when you tease me,” she whined, circling her arms around April’s waist, holding her in place.</p><p>April leaned down, pecking Sterling’s lips. “Truth or dare?” April wriggled and leaned part of her weight onto her right elbow until Sterling realized her hands were somehow on April’s ass all of a sudden.</p><p>Sterling slid her hands higher, resting them on April’s lower back, underneath her top. “Truth,” Sterling picked, although she would rather choose dare and hear April demand a kiss, like really demand one, all bossy and hot and powerful.</p><p>“Okay, I need to know,” April whispered, drawing patterns on Sterling’s thigh with her finger. “How did your parents let you leave the house dressed in lingerie?” April questioned, staring into Sterling’s eyes.</p><p>Sterling chuckled. “Those are pajamas,” she corrected, but then she frowned. “I think,” she admitted. “And they didn’t, let me leave in those, I mean. Blair distracted them so I could sneak out and I sort of packed spare clothes, which are in my car.”</p><p>“I sure am relieved your mother didn’t open the door,” Sterling joked, laughing.</p><p>But April’s eyes widened significantly and when her finger froze, Sterling knew what she said wasn’t funny. She was supposed to keep their relationship a secret and there was no good excuse as to why she showed up for a sleepover, barely dressed. Lorna had something similar on during the lock-in at school, but that was different because she had a reputation as the biggest slut in Willingham, which Lorna was proud of.</p><p>“I promise I’ll wear more clothes next time,” Sterling vowed, crossing her heart. “If…if you want there to be a next time.”</p><p>April exhaled a breath. “I do,” she replied, grasping Sterling’s hand, intertwining their fingers.</p><p>“Truth or dare?”</p><p>“I’ll go with truth this time,” April hummed, kissing the back of Sterling’s hand.</p><p>Sterling half-expected her girlfriend to stick to boldly choosing dare, but perhaps truth was the one that took more guts. She knew April struggled with showing the depths of her soul, despite her insistence on people being honest. Sterling wanted to have a heart to heart rather than stick to boring basic questions like favorite colors or food, without putting April into a position where she felt uncomfortable.</p><p>“Who’s your celebrity crush?”</p><p>“Victoria Pedretti,” April responded within a heartbeat. “I’d watch anything if she’s in it.”</p><p>Sterling couldn’t disagree because she kind of watched the haunting series for that exact reason and Victoria’s appearance totally made up for the creepy ghosts and the jump scares. Plus, it was quality time with her sister, who lived for horror.</p><p>April shifted one of her legs, wriggling closer. “Truth or dare?”</p><p>“Hmm…dare.”</p><p>April moved away, sitting against the headboard. “I dare you to give me a lapdance,” she said, patting her lap.</p><p>Sterling’s eyes nearly bulged out, but she doubted her girlfriend was kidding. Oh dear Lord, she wasn’t sure how to give one of those, but there was no way on earth she would deny such a request from April. Sterling gulped in handfuls of air while she mentally prepared herself to perform the…dance.</p><p>It was a little awkward at first, positioning herself in front of her girlfriend, without any music to guide her. But it was late, and Sterling knew they had to keep quiet, so she settled on faintly humming a song she could move her body to. She crossed her arms over her chest, sliding her hands down her arms while April watched her. In the spur of the moment, Sterling grabbed April’s knees and wedged her legs apart, something she observed back at the strip club.</p><p>Sterling moved closer, running her hands down the front of her shirt, getting into the feeling, thinking how much easier this would be if they weren’t in bed. She kissed April’s cheek and judging from the smile on her face, Sterling was doing something right. She released a nervous chuckle, turning around to give her girlfriend a view of her back, hugging her arms around herself, swaying side to side.</p><p>With a shrill shriek, Sterling lost her balance when April pulled her down into her arms. Sterling fell, head-first into April’s lap and it wasn’t the softest landing, though she had no complaints.</p><p>“Hey,” Sterling whispered, smiling up at April.</p><p>April lowered her face. “You’re cute,” she murmured, kissing Sterling’s forehead.</p><p>Being cute wasn’t Sterling’s goal, so she had to set it straight, in like a queer way. “Hush and watch,” she reprimanded with a sultry tone, not mistaking the way she heard April whimper.</p><p>Sterling continued the performance she made up on the spot, remembering other details she saw at the strip club. She climbed onto April’s lap, bracketing her thighs with her knees. Sterling ran her hands through her hair, stretching her arms up, lowering them with a hearty chuckle when she felt April’s hands on her ass, squeezing. She responded to April’s touch, rolling her hips into her, getting more into it when April tightened her grip, which turned out to be a mistake when April moaned.</p><p>They both stopped. April’s hands dropped while Sterling shifted to sit next to her instead of on top of her.</p><p>Sterling didn’t say anything for a solid minute, feeling hot all over and ticklish in parts that shouldn’t be active tonight yet were because of her girlfriend. “Truth or dare?” she managed in between labored breaths.</p><p>“Truth.”</p><p>“Have you ever masturbated?” Sterling wondered, skin hot just from thinking about her girlfriend running a hand between her legs, pleasuring herself.</p><p>April was quiet longer than Sterling liked and she heard her breathe in and out every two seconds. It was definitely a personal question, one that might be too early for her girlfriend to answer. And maybe it was naughty, but it was all Sterling could think about right now. Well, that and a kiss developing into something so much more.</p><p>“You don’t have to answer,” Sterling prompted. “I can ask a different-”</p><p>“Yes,” April whispered, breath stuttering. “And no,” she added, a little louder, more affirmative.</p><p>“I’ve been in that mood before,” April explained. “And one time, I slipped my hand into my underwear and I was <em>so</em> wet-”</p><p>“Ohmygosh,” Sterling uttered, struggling to breathe for several seconds.</p><p>April put a hand on Sterling’s knee, rubbing circles with her thumb. “I’m sorry,” April whispered softly. “Is that too much?”</p><p>“Nonono,” Sterling responded, clearing her throat, chuckling. “It’s, uh, continue. Please, I want you to.”</p><p>April’s thumb stilled. “You know what it does to me when you say please.”</p><p>Sterling gulped at the promise of getting into trouble.</p><p>“As I was saying,” April continued after a beat. “I was <em>so </em>wet,” she repeated, and okay, she had to be doing that on purpose, right? “I felt it with my fingers, but I didn’t go further. I didn’t finger myself. I undressed, took a shower, put on fresh clothes, and went to sleep.”</p><p>Sterling couldn’t imagine the amount of willpower April had to muster to accomplish that, although she would find out tonight.</p><p>“Truth or-”</p><p>“Truth,” Sterling uttered, head filled with graphic images of April pushing her leggings down, underwear wet with <em>want</em>.</p><p>If April had at all noticed Sterling’s eagerness to move on, she didn’t say anything about it.</p><p>“Have you ever touched yourself?” April returned, and right after she did, Sterling’s face felt so hot she might have caught a fever.</p><p>Sterling spluttered and she knew it was what she deserved for putting April on the spot, but oh gosh, the memories that came with the truth were intense, and Sterling let out a small whine at the need that built up inside of her.</p><p>“Multiple times,” Sterling admitted, tongue thick in her mouth. “It all started when you grabbed my arm after the debate. You were so infuriated and hot, and it awoke something inside of me I never felt before, like a fire I needed to extinguish immediately. The buildup was intense, but it was nothing compared to my orgasm and all I could think about was you yelling at me.”</p><p>“Good to know,” April noted.</p><p>Sterling’s cheeks burned at her honest admission. “Truth or dare?”</p><p>April’s brow rose as she gave Sterling that lopsided smile of hers. “Dare.”</p><p>“I miss your lips,” Sterling sighed, smiling. “They’re too far away from mine. I dare you to fix that.”</p><p>April let out a chuckle. “God, I’m going to marry you someday,” she whispered under her breath, closing the gap between them.</p><p>Sterling fisted April’s top, pulling her as close as she could, kissing her like it was the last thing she would do. April planted her hands on Sterling’s hips, sighing and moaning softly in between kisses. Sterling’s heart thumped in her chest with the echo of April’s promise nestling itself in the chambers there, calling it home. With every touch of April’s lips, Sterling grew more convinced the butterflies inked on her abdomen tried to flutter away to latch on to April instead.</p><p>“There,” April said, fingers lingering. “That should suffice until our wedding day,” she hummed with that famous smile of hers, “which is tomorrow, right?”</p><p>Sterling chuckled, eyes full of mirth while she gently shoved her cute girlfriend. “Pack up right now and I’ll drive us to Vegas,” she responded, kissing April’s nose.</p><p>“Mhmm. Truth or dare?”</p><p>“Truth,” Sterling chose, gazing into April’s eyes.</p><p>“If I asked to see you without your shirt on, to touch you…,” April whispered. She glanced briefly at Sterling’s chest, lip quivering as she breathed in.</p><p>Sterling’s heart sped up. “Truth or dare?” she queried, struggling to contain the urge to pin April down and kiss her all over.</p><p>“You haven’t-,” April frowned. Her eyes swept down once more, just for a second. “Dare.”</p><p>“I dare you to take off your shirt,” Sterling uttered, breathing faster, more jagged. “Well, mine, but I’m wearing yours.”</p><p>April sat up. “Tell me to stop if it’s too much,” she pleaded, hooking her fingertips underneath the shirt Sterling had on.</p><p>“I will,” Sterling promised, sitting up as well.</p><p>April fully grasped Sterling’s shirt, lifting it inch by inch while her eyes followed. Sterling held her breath for half a minute, shuddering as her girlfriend’s fingers brushed over her skin, noticing the way April paused to drink in her now exposed abdomen, probably getting another glimpse of her tattoo.</p><p>Sterling raised her arms to make it easier for April, gasping faintly at the gush of wind hitting her bare chest once her shirt no longer covered her. Sterling waited for April to ball it up and toss it aside, but instead, April neatly folded the shirt and placed it on top of the nightstand.</p><p>“Unbelievable,” Sterling whispered, smiling to herself.</p><p>April sighed softly, shifting onto her knees. “There shall be no chaos in my castle,” she mused, kissing the corner of Sterling’s mouth, hands sliding down the sides of Sterling’s shoulders.</p><p>“Of course not, milady,” Sterling responded, turning her face to the side when April went to kiss the other corner of her mouth, smiling as their lips met. “My queen,” Sterling uttered, reverently.</p><p>April shook her head with a quiet chuckle. “Patience, my love.”</p><p>Sterling’s heart thudded in her chest and finding herself unable to speak for a moment there, she nodded. Gosh, being with April like this had to be what heaven was like because Sterling doubted there was something better up there.</p><p>April pushed Sterling down with little force, swinging one leg over her hips, sitting down like the queen she was. Sterling drank in April’s frame as her girlfriend leaned down, bringing their mouths together, slowly and sensual, with only a hint of tongue. Sterling whined when their kiss broke far too fast for her liking, but then April’s fingers mapped the expanse of her stomach, inching higher, and Sterling’s whines turned into shudders and moans.</p><p>“Soft,” April whispered, palming Sterling’s boobs in her warm hands.</p><p>“You’re so beautiful, Sterl,” April breathed, placing a kiss onto Sterling’s right breast and then her left. “So beautiful,” she repeated, breath catching in her words.</p><p>Sterling’s nipples stiffened when April ran her thumbs over the sensitive buds. She never had someone touch her like that, with such tender care, and interest, and Sterling almost wept at getting to witness more of this side of April.</p><p>April continued to murmur praises, pupils slightly blown while she traced faint patterns on Sterling’s skin, observing every part of her with unwavering desire, licking her lips every three minutes or so. April remained clothed and Sterling let her do her thing, unbothered by April’s decision, comfortable with the way things were, refraining from asking April to discard her top.</p><p>April released a deep sigh, shaking her head. “How are you so perfect?” she questioned with that winning smile of hers.</p><p>Sterling could ask her girlfriend the same thing. “You amaze me, too,” she spoke from her heart. “And you might have to pinch me, so I’ll know I’m not dreaming.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The sun rose and so did April, untangling her limbs from Sterling, whom she spent all night cuddling. Quick and quiet as a mouse, April tucked her soulmate in to keep her from getting cold without her and tiptoed out of her bed. She paused two feet away from her door, glancing over her shoulder, admiring her sleepy angel. Sterling’s hair was all mussed up, covering all sides of the pillow, but even so, she was absolutely breathtaking.</p><p>April was tempted to hop back into bed and spend every second she had left of this sleepover holding her soulmate, but her stomach knew she was awake and she remembered how Sterling got cranky in the morning if she missed out on a decent breakfast. Adorable as it would be to deal with a grumpy Sterling, April had a different mission in mind, one that had her sneaking down the steps at seven in the morning.</p><p>April made sure her top was tucked into her leggings, keeping her abdomen covered just in case her mother got up early, too. She rubbed her eyes, yawning while she stepped into the kitchen. Behind her, Sergeant Bilko meowed, his vocal greeting persisting as he bumped his head against April’s leg. With a chuckle, she crouched down to scratch his ears and his chin.</p><p>“Good morning, Sergeant B,” April cooed, kissing the top of his fluffy head. “I’m happy to see you too, but we can’t wake up our guest,” she hushed, getting back up.</p><p>Sergeant Bilko, as if understanding the need for silence, ran toward his bed and rolled onto his back, paws outstretched. April chuckled at his nice try for belly rubs, which had to wait. She took two eggs out of the refrigerator and put a pan onto the fire, breaking the shells against its side. While the eggs cooked, she grabbed a plate and a couple of ingredients she needed.  </p><p>“I got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine,” April sang quietly to herself, humming while she put the eggs, sunny-side up, on the plate. “I’ve got a love and I know that it’s all mine.”</p><p>“Oh, oh-wow,” April smiled, swaying her hips, waving the spatula around mid-air.</p><p>April hummed the rest of the song while she cut up oranges, squeezed them, and poured the juice into a tall glass. She popped the bread in the toaster, rummaging through the cupboards for the jar of peanut butter and jelly she kept in there. When all of the food was ready, she put it onto a platter and finished it with a handful of berries, and a short poem written onto a note.</p><p>The stairs creaked a bit as April ascended them, but the real challenge was balancing the platter without spilling any of the orange juice. She had only carried breakfast upstairs once before in her life, back in sixth grade, which ended with spilled milk and a broken cup, on mother’s day. With the memory resurfacing, April began to second guess her decision, unsure what she would say if her mother caught her. She hadn’t done this for any of her sleepovers with her friends; giving away the fact Sterling obviously was her girlfriend.</p><p>Sucking in a deep breath, April gathered a sliver of confidence, realizing her mother was likely to sleep for another two hours, at least. She entered her bedroom, closing the door behind her with her foot.</p><p>“Rise and shine, babe,” April said, setting the platter down on the side of her bed.</p><p>“’ M sleepy, daddy,” Sterling mumbled, burying her face into the pillow.</p><p>April arched a brow, approaching with half a grin. “We did stay up late,” she admitted, caressing Sterling’s hair, smiling when her soulmate cracked one of her eyes open.</p><p>“Hi there,” April chuckled lightly. “Good morning.”</p><p>Sterling blinked. “You smell wonderful,” she stated around a yawn, smacking her lips together twice.</p><p>“It’s the food, you baby dinosaur,” April replied, stealing a brief kiss.</p><p>Sterling gasped. “I’m not a baby dinosaur,” she pouted. “And don’t kiss me,” she added in a whisper, “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”</p><p>“Me neither,” April realized, having been too focused on one single task.</p><p>“Oh,” Sterling mumbled. “Well, in that case…may I have one more, please?”</p><p>April bit back a groan and while it wasn’t exactly the same as Sterling begging, it reminded April of when she did, enough to create a similar effect. “Yes, you may,” she granted, capturing her soulmate’s lips.</p><p>Sterling rubbed her hands together, ogling the platter. She wiggled her fingers, reaching out to the food, but then she stopped and whisked the note from where it was placed between the glass and the plate.</p><p>“Roses are red, violets are blue,” Sterling read, whispering, “Who needs sunshine when I can look at you?”</p><p>Sterling’s lips curved up into a blinding smile, adorned by the sparkle in her bright blue eyes. “You’re really cheesy,” she noted with a chuckle. “I love it and I love you,” she spoke, slowly curling her fingers around the piece of paper. “Come here so I can kiss you.”</p><p>April wasn’t going to deny such a request. “I love you times a billion,” she uttered, moving in for a peck, which developed into a languid kiss.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It was a quarter past two when Sterling pulled up on the driveway, wincing as she ran over the garden gnome she recently glued back together. So much for superglue, huh? She gathered the pieces and hid them in the trunk, deciding to deal with repairing it again later, although, at this point, she might be better off with buying a new one. Technically, Blair mowed it down the first time around, but they earned enough money from their job, and Sterling could easily spare a couple of bucks without asking her sister to pitch in.</p><p>Plus, Sterling pretty much walked on rainbows today. Everything was perfectly splendid and she had the best sleepover of her life, so nothing was going to get her down, unless April called and asked nicely, in which case Sterling would be more than willing to make an exception.</p><p>Sterling went up to her room where she found her sister, sitting on her bed, oddly enough chilling without her music that sometimes made Sterling’s ears ring a bit. Blair looked pale, which made Sterling notice the dark rims around her eyes, and she wondered how her sister managed to age a few years in the nineteen hours she was gone for.  </p><p>“Sterl?” Blair said while she closed her laptop. “What are you doing home? I thought you’d be gone until tonight.”</p><p>“Did the she-devil do something?” Blair quizzed, narrowing her eyes, cracking her knuckles.</p><p>Sterling let out a quiet exhale, ignoring the negative remark about her soulmate, simply because she knew her sister. “I know it’s early,” she nodded. “But I wanted to see how you’re doing,” she admitted, approaching Blair’s bed.</p><p>“You didn’t have to come home early for me,” Blair retorted, setting her laptop aside, creating space.</p><p>Sterling plopped down. “You’re my sister,” she stated, sparing a smile. “I wanted to.”</p><p>April hadn’t asked for an explanation when Sterling announced she was going home. They had a good sleepover, a great one, even, and as much as she would have enjoyed spending more time with April, Sterling needed to be there for her sister. Blair was going through some rough patches lately, and despite her trying to act all indifferent and like she had everything handled, Sterling knew the value of a proper heart to heart and a hug, and an extra scoop of chocolate ice cream with whipped cream and hot fudge on top.</p><p>Blair tugged at the sleeves of her sweatshirt, covering her hands up to her knuckles, poking her thumbs through the holes she must have cut in the cufflinks with a pair of scissors like she used to all the time when they were thirteen. Tears formed in the corners of Blair’s eyes and she wiped at them, chuckling wryly while Sterling put her arm around Blair’s shoulders.</p><p>“Spencer and I broke up,” Blair shared, and she smiled, but it was the same one as that time she tore a ligament in her shoulder and didn’t want their parents to worry about the pain she was in.</p><p>Sterling hugged her sister closer, and when Blair rested her head onto her shoulder, Sterling relaxed her head against hers, all the while caressing Blair’s arm, wishing she could heal her aching heart.</p><p>“He went back home,” Blair continued, sniffling a bit. “We talked a lot before he left and it just, gah, it was too complicated to keep dating each other. He’s going to college next semester where he’s going to meet tons of girls. Meanwhile, I’ll be a senior in high school and after that, who knows because I doubt I’ll be smart enough for college.”</p><p>“Are you kidding me?” Sterling gaped. She shifted, grabbing her sister by the elbows. “Blair, you’re a genius. I wouldn’t be such a good bounty hunter if I didn’t have your brains and brawn by my side.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Blair grinned with a genuine smile then. “I’m awesome.”</p><p>“F- yes you are!” Sterling confirmed, smiling.</p><p>“Aw,” Blair uttered, pressing a hand to her chest. “You almost swore for me.”</p><p>Sterling nodded. “That’s how much I love you.”</p><p>Blair wrapped her arms around Sterling’s neck, laughing as both of them tumbled down. After a concerned checkup from their parents due to their ruckus, they each settled on their own bed, cross-legged.</p><p>“So, how was it?” Blair asked, wriggling her eyebrows. “Did you get any sleep?”</p><p>“I gave April a lapdance.”</p><p>“Holy shit, dude!” Blair exclaimed, propelling herself forward, moving over to Sterling’s bed. “I’m so proud of you right now,” Blair whispered, wiping at non-existing tears. “And to think I thought about disowning you for your poor taste in people.”</p><p>Sterling guffawed, smacking her sister on the arm. “She’s my soulmate and I bet she tastes amazing,” she stated with a huff. “Not that I’d know for sure,” she mumbled, shoulders sagging.</p><p>“You didn’t get down and dirty?” Blair replied, frowning. “What about my research, all of the slides I showed you? I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into that, you know.”</p><p>“We just weren’t ready,” Sterling explained with a shake of her head and a smile. “It was a mutual decision, but then I got turned on, and now I sort of can’t stop thinking about making love to her.”</p><p>Sterling sighed, remembering she was long overdue for a shower. She sort of grabbed one over at April’s house, but she couldn’t risk April’s mother hearing her, and while she toyed with the fun idea of having April hear her, of catching her, it seemed impolite, so Sterling did the reasonable thing. She borrowed – more than likely stole – a pair of April’s underwear, while her ruined ones were balled up in her lingerie-like pajamas, which Sterling had yet to burn.</p><p>“She brought me breakfast in bed,” Sterling shared, blushing a deep shade of red. “And I think she really loves me, even more than Luke did.”</p><p>“Holy shit, this soulmate thing doesn’t miss, does it?”</p><p>Sterling was too busy being happy to complain about profanities. “It sure doesn’t.”</p><p>Blair’s expressions morphed from excitement into something gut-wrenching, like something inside of her just cracked and took away her joy. There were no tears in her eyes, but they weren’t sparkling either. Given the circumstances, it was more than fair if hearing about romantic gestures reminded her of heartbreak.</p><p>“Blair,” Sterling whispered, clasping her sister’s hand in hers. </p><p>“Seventy-eight thousand people in the whole wide world,” Blair muttered, sighing heavily. “What are the odds?”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sterling and April are soft for each other. <br/>And poor Blair...alone again. </p><p>My next update will probably be sometime next week.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Smile, stand tall and ignore whatever gossip there might be,</em> April repeated in her mind, echoing her mother’s sentiment. She smoothed the non-existing crinkles from her best Sunday dress, ignoring the way her stomach churned as she got out of the car. One hour, two maximum, and then April could put this behind her again until next week. But as tough as it was for her to put on a brave face in church, it was every bit as hard for her mother, bombarded with questions about her divorce from the local Stepford wives.</p><p>“Mrs. Creswell, how lovely to see you,” April greeted, plastering on the faux-smile that made her hate herself, but she had a reputation to uphold. “I hope your migraine has improved. Have you visited the doctor I recommended?”</p><p>“April, dear,” Mrs. Creswell replied, smiling sweetly. She took both of April’s hands in hers and gave them a soft squeeze. “My migraine has cleared up, yes,” Mrs. Creswell answered. “But enough about me, how are you holding up? I’ve been praying for you, we all have.”</p><p>April’s smile tightened. “You’re too kind,” she uttered, swallowing down the venom she tasted on her tongue, remembering to remain polite no matter what. “I am well, thank you for asking.”</p><p>April’s gaze traveled to her soulmate, shaking hands and voicing greetings as if there was no place she wished to be at more, and April found herself wondering how Sterling became so good at feigning such purity, others instantly believed she was a saint. April wished she knew how to accomplish the same, but she was stuck being second best, sighing at the twist in her gut of how she stole fellowship leader from Sterling.</p><p>It used to be such a big deal, a trophy April needed to have, no matter the cost. While she felt she deserved that position, Sterling earned it more. Her soulmate had a natural way with people that didn’t seem crafted together with blood and tears and left her exhausted afterward. April was different and forever tired of interactions with anyone outside of her inner circle.</p><p>“You okay?” Sterling whispered, blinking, placing a hand on April’s shoulder.</p><p>April pinched the bridge of her nose. “Sorry, what?” she questioned, surprised to find Mrs. Creswell was no longer standing near her.</p><p>“Are you okay? I said hello twice and it’s like you didn’t even see me,” Sterling explained, face scrunched up. “Do you want to go somewhere to talk later?”</p><p>Blair grabbed Sterling’s hand, the one that was on April’s shoulder, pulling her away. “Get moving, loser,” Blair grumbled, elbowing April when she walked past her. “Church’s starting.”</p><p>April whipped her head around. Fire burned through her veins, words at the ready to snap at the frustrating older Wesley twin, deflating when she caught her mother glancing her way from where she stood near the doors, with Mr. Wesley, Mrs. Wesley, and the Creswell’s.</p><p>“You got this,” April whispered under her breath, lifting up her chin.</p><p><em>“That poor girl</em>,” April heard when she entered the church. <em>“I bet she’s not marriage material,”</em> another whispered, <em>“the apple never falls far from the tree.”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Poison, all of them.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Stay away from that girl, you hear me? Nothing but trouble, like her father.”</em>
</p><p>April gripped the wood in front of her to steady herself. She thought she would have built a thicker skin for such comments by now, but today, she felt personally attacked. They weren’t gossiping as much about her father or even her mother, as they were about her, and the fact they insinuated she would grow up to be exactly like that monster wounded her deeply. His blood coursed through her veins and she carried his last name, but she was nothing like him.</p><p>April knew she wasn’t perfect. She made mistakes and she knew being a lesbian would have their tight knitted Christian community tear her to shreds and cast her out, though surely she wasn’t a monster? April was not her father’s daughter. She tried to cover her ears without placing her hands over them, wanting so badly to drown out the criticism and the despicable pity, but she heard it all while not catching a word of anything the pastor had to say.</p><p>When the service ended, April ran out. She kept going for another mile before skidding to a stop, leaning forward, hands on her knees, trying to breathe with all of her might. She knew fleeing made her a coward and could draw the wrong attention, but she had to get away.</p><p>“Dang, you’re fast. Don’t go shattering my record now.”</p><p>April jumped up. “Blair,” she realized, turning around to face the older twin. She peered past her, frowning at the lack of Sterling attached to her hip.</p><p>“Sterl got caught up,” Blair shared, leaning the underside of her right boot against the wall of the building next to them. “She wanted me to make sure you’re okay.”</p><p>April stood up straight, squaring her shoulders. “I’m fine.”</p><p>“Wanna know what I think?”</p><p>“No,” April answered, jaw tensing.</p><p>Blair snorted. “I think you’re too strong for your own good,” she told April anyway, shrugging a shoulder. “And you’re scared to be vulnerable,” Blair continued, “which I guess all of us are, but it can feel good to get it all out every once in a while, in whichever way you choose. Like for me, for example, I like to kick in doors and break stuff, really get the anger out.”</p><p>“Well, if I see my father, I’ll be sure to bring a baseball bat to his head,” April mumbled, scoffing. “He had no right ruining everything!” she yelled, balling up her fingers into fists, arms flexed down at her sides. “I hope he never returns. I hope he stays gone. I hop-”</p><p>Tears welled up in April’s eyes, choking her up. At the first sniffle, she moved her left fist, aiming for the wall, but she missed her mark, wrist caught in Blair’s grip.</p><p>Blair let go and a second later, April found herself in Blair’s arms, against all odds, unsure which one of them initiated the hug, but April didn’t care. She wound her arms tighter around the taller girl, letting her tears exist for a moment while Blair wiped her hair out of her face from where it stuck to her wet cheeks.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling’s eyes widened almost comically when she saw a gun pointed in their direction. The first bullet smashed the little side mirror into pieces of scrap, but the second one hit its target. Kicking her foot against the door, Blair jumped out of the car with a murderous look on her face, muttering a string of expletives so foul, Sterling took a minute longer to go after her so she could say a prayer first, to seek forgiveness for her sister’s outburst. </p><p>“What are you waiting for?” Blair called, waving a hand.</p><p>“Oh, hell,” Bowser mumbled, scrambling out of his seat. “I knew I shouldn’t have eaten no extra taco.”</p><p>Blair whipped around. “You had tacos without us?” she gasped, hand on her chest. “I thought we were friends, Bowsie-Bow.”</p><p>“Weren’t you with Yolanda?” Sterling remembered, eyes glinting when the pieces clicked together. “Were you two on a date?”</p><p>“Oh my God,” Blair chimed in. “Did you kiss?”</p><p>“Yes, I was with Yolanda, and no we weren’t on no date, so enough with all the yappin’.”</p><p>Sterling deflated at that, but she knew there was hope for them since Bowser finally made his apartment look like someone actually lived there instead of as if all of his belongings got lost in a fire. And Terrance was out of the picture, which had improved Bowser’s mood, well, a tad, like a teeny tiny little bit. But still, Yolanda was single and ready to mingle. All Bowser needed to do was take her out to dinner, dress nicely, and sweep her off of her feet.</p><p>With some help here and there from Blair and Sterling, those two would find their way back to each other in no time. She saw a spark between them when they interacted and they were obviously meant to be together. Besides, Sterling never had the chance to be a bridesmaid before because her parents got married before she was born, so this was her chance to finally attend a wedding and see if they were as magical as they appeared to be in the movies she saw.</p><p>Technically, Bowser already got married, but it wasn’t uncommon for people to enter a new marriage after a divorce. Sterling, personally, would never even consider a divorce because it wouldn’t feel right in regards to her beliefs, and she mainly frowned upon others getting one, although she understood that sometimes it was for the best, like with April’s parents. Sterling smiled at the thought of marrying her girlfriend someday in the future and she was positive it was going to happen because they were soulmates, and nothing was ever going to wreck their relationship.</p><p>In movies, brides were clothed in the most breathtaking of dresses, like an angel covered in a layer of snow while violins or a piano accompanied them as they walked up to their respective groom or bride. Oh, and the way they had a parent give them away brought Sterling to tears. It was pretty to watch on screen, but she knew it was going to be way better if she got to witness one in person, from someone she loved. And maybe Bowser didn’t know it yet, but he was family.</p><p>“Quit your piddlin’ and take the shot, Sterl!” Blair yelled, snapping Sterling out of her reverie.</p><p>“I might hit an innocent civilian!” Sterling responded, gun at the ready, keeping the safety lock on.</p><p>“Don’t shoot a civilian,” Bowser warned. “Y’all too trigger happy.”</p><p>“My finger ain’t even on the trigger,” Sterling commented, lowering her gun.</p><p>“Come ooooon, you guys!” Blair groaned, stomping her foot. “She’s getting away.”</p><p>Sterling’s feet ached from running for what felt like an endless time, which wouldn’t have happened if they’d had a spare tire to replace the one shot flat by their skip. But hey, if Blair struggled to keep up with Miss Quickie, Sterling wasn’t going to feel bad for being out of shape. It wasn’t her fault that bounty hunting usually involved a lot of sitting around, observing someone.</p><p>Sterling’s shoes pounded against the asphalt as if someone poured lead into them, though she swore she tried her best. In the back of her head, she heard a little voice tell her not to run with a gun like she used to be told not to run with scissors or a knife. She ignored it and dove into the last of her energy to catch their perp.</p><p>“Hold it right there, punk!” Blair yelled.</p><p>Sterling closed in on their skip, breathing hard. “Free…freeze,” she demanded, a hair short of wheezing.</p><p>“Move out of my way, twinkie,” the woman grumbled.</p><p>Sterling’s brows knitted together. “Twinkie?” she repeated, quietly, mainly to herself.</p><p>Without warning, the skip swung her fist at Sterling’s face. And unfortunately, she didn’t miss.</p><p>The shock of the impact made Sterling drop her gun. She lifted her hand up to her jaw, wincing at the way her skin stung. “Seriously?” she whimpered, shoved aside by the skip running away.</p><p>Blair picked up Sterling’s gun and swept their bounty off of her feet. “And that,” Blair uttered, propping it over her shoulder, “is how it’s done.”</p><p>“See, Bowser,” Blair said with a glint in her eyes. “You totally needed my good ol’ Wesley check to complete this mission.”</p><p>“Aight, G.I. Jane, you can put the gun down.”</p><p>Sterling rubbed her sore skin. “Can someone get me some ice?”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sketchbook cradled in her hands, folded against her chest, April stood in front of her locker with a tentative smile, waiting for her soulmate to walk through the door. They had less than fifteen minutes to spare until fellowship started, and she wanted to show Sterling the drawing she made of the two of them together. Depending on Sterling’s reaction, April might frame it for her later and add a poem, though there was a sea of time left before their one-year anniversary would come around, so there was no rush really.</p><p>April felt she could create something much more impressive and meaningful by then. The thought of getting to celebrate such milestones in their relationship someday made her stomach flutter. It was all new and thrilling and exciting to April, and Alex Danvers’ coming out story on Supergirl touched her heart and made her feel seen. April still couldn’t quite believe she actually got the girl, drawing confidence from the ink on her abdomen, wishing she didn’t have to hide her feelings in public, in the light.</p><p>Last night, April couldn’t stop thinking while she mapped her tattoo. How could being gay be considered a sin when fate itself bestowed a female soulmate upon her? The vast majority of people lived their lives, never meeting such a special person, such as her parents for example, but she, the closeted lesbian, had a soulmate. God himself gave April that gift, which was proof of his support, and based on that fact, it was wrong for anyone to disagree with her identity.</p><p>She wondered if Naomi and Ruth were soulmates, too. Ruth told Naomi, ‘<em>where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.</em>’ They were always together and Sterling was convinced they cleaved, which perhaps wasn’t such a loose interpretation after all. April smiled to herself at the memory of Sterling hinting she liked girls, in that adorable passionate way of hers, getting crossed with the apostle Paul due to his homophobic claims.</p><p>April’s breath hitched when Sterling entered the school, though not for the reason she liked. April slipped her sketchbook into her purse, fingers trembling ever so slightly as she pushed the strap up her shoulder, glancing around before she headed Sterling’s way.</p><p>April had half a heart to drag Sterling along with her as she kept going, not slowing down until she reached the bathroom, which thankfully appeared to be empty. April set her purse aside, crossing and uncrossing her arms while Sterling entered.</p><p>“Hi,” Sterling said with a wave of her hand.</p><p>“What happened to your jaw, Sterl?”</p><p>Sterling wrung her hands together. “If anyone asks, I slipped on a wet floor,” she uttered, barely meeting April’s eyes.</p><p>April’s fingers ghosted over the purple mark, careful not to hurt her soulmate. “Well, I’m asking,” she stated, sucking in a deep breath. “And don’t even think about lying.”</p><p>“I- I wasn’t, I wouldn’t lie to you, April. You’re my soulmate. You’re like, the beat to my heart,” Sterling smiled all sweetly, but it didn’t change the situation at hand.</p><p>April swallowed. Her shoulders were tense and rigid as she awaited an explanation. If anyone put a hand on the love of her life, she was going to end them.</p><p>“There was a small incident last night, just a minor complication, really,” Sterling revealed, shifting her weight from one leg onto the other. “I was chasing a skip and she punched me in the face.”</p><p>“My God, Sterl,” April whispered, burying her fingers in her hair. “I told you what you’re doing is dangerous. You could have ended up with a broken nose or a broken jaw.”</p><p>“Babe, stop fussing,” Sterling pleaded with a soft groan. “I’m fine. It’ll heal in no time, you’ll see.”</p><p>“Your face is all purple, pink, and blue,” April uttered, gripping the sink.</p><p>“Well, I am bisexual,” Sterling commented with a dry chuckle, followed by a wince.</p><p>“I could strangle you right now,” April whispered through gritted teeth. “What if something worse happened?”</p><p>“It didn’t though.”</p><p>April’s lungs worked against every breath she inhaled as if someone poked holes through them to make it hurt. “You could’ve…,” she swallowed the rest and turned on the tap to splash water into her face, to cover the tears threatening to roll down her cheeks unbidden.</p><p>The thought of Sterling going after a criminal and dying in the process was too much for April to handle. It was the worst-case scenario, but not an impossible one. And she didn’t want to come across all dramatic and hysteric, but April would be lying if she said it didn’t scare her how Sterling placed herself in harm’s way as if her job was as easy as delivering newspapers. Sterling acted as though she was invincible yet here she was, bruised, <em>hurt</em>. And with that, April felt her fear seep into reality.</p><p>“I’ll wear protection next time,” Sterling spoke, “and I don’t mean it in a sarcastic way or anything. I’ll be more careful, I promise.”</p><p>“And,” Sterling added, cupping April’s face in her hands, “I’ll think about quitting bounty hunting when we graduate next year, so we can concentrate on college and on us.”</p><p>April had no intention of forcing Sterling to stop, but she sincerely prayed Sterling would pick a safer way to earn money, soon rather than later.</p><p>They stayed in the bathroom for another five minutes, which April spent touching up Sterling’s make-up and avoiding her lips, afraid kissing would only bring Sterling pain.</p><p>“Big news, y’all,” Ellen said when they shuffled into the room.</p><p>April sat down on the couch on the right in between her best friends, while Sterling moved to the empty spot on the floor next to her sister, who wasn’t all bad.</p><p>“In two weeks from now, y’all will be admiring the Saint Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City, New York,” Ellen announced with a bright smile. “We’re going on a field trip, ain’t it exciting?”</p><p>“New York City!” Blair hollered, hands cupped around her mouth. “Whoop whoop!”</p><p>“New York, here we come,” Sterling chimed in.</p><p>April perked up from her seat. “How will we be traveling there?”</p><p>“Excellent question, April,” Ellen praised. “Always thinking quickly on your feet, I like that,” she said while revealing pamphlets and paperwork. “We will take a bus to the airport and hop on a plane. We’ll be leaving Thursday at eight sharp and we’ll be back Saturday afternoon, wouldn’t want to miss church.”</p><p>April accepted the papers and the pamphlet Ellen handed her with a muted smile. Missing church for once wouldn’t have been such a terrible thing, although the rumors had to cease eventually. And she overheard Lorna say Franklin’s parents were seeing a divorce attorney, which, if true, would shift some of the negative energy onto his family. Not that April wished it upon anyone to go through such turmoil, so she hoped the news was false, for Franklin’s sake.  </p><p>“Now, make sure y’all’s parents sign your permission slip,” Ellen reminded everyone.</p><p>“Duuuude,” Blair grinned, sharing a smile with her sister, “two days in the city that never sleeps.”</p><p>April observed the pair as they sat in silence, staring at each other for half a minute, give or take before Sterling giggled and smacked Blair’s arm. The whole quiet conversation thing between them had always puzzled April, to communicate fully without words. She admired them for their thicker than blood connection and the fact they had the gift to interact telepathically was nothing short of incredible. Oh how April wished for a glimpse into Sterling’s thoughts sometimes, but then Sterling’s smile turned her way with words of love written in her eyes, and April knew they were tethered as well.</p><p>Faux animosity be darned, April returned the gesture. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm excited about the field trip, which I've been waiting to write and here we are. Hehe. <br/>You'll see ;)</p><p>Also, action scenes? Not my thing so I'll leave the bounty hunting mostly to the show. </p><p>I have some busy days ahead of me, but I'm aiming to have the next chapter finished this weekend.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“All aboard!” Ellen said into the megaphone. “Let’s put some pep in our step and show our smile on this beautiful sunny day!”</p><p>Ellen stood next to a yellow school bus, which reminded Sterling of elementary until carpooling became a popular choice. Ellen proudly sported her chaperone pin, unlike the volunteer – or victim, depending on the way someone looked at it – who had it attached to his shirt upside down and crossed his arms. Sterling wasn’t sure why Coach Esposito was one of their guardians to visit a cathedral, although she guessed he was used to traveling and maybe meant to be their guide in New York.</p><p>“Nobody should be that chipper at seven-thirty in the morning,” Blair muttered as she lifted her suitcase out of the trunk of the car. “Dang this thing is heavy,” she groaned, putting it down.</p><p>“Going to New York is something worth smiling about though,” Sterling considered, grabbing her suitcase.</p><p>“You’re right it’s going to be epic,” Blair relented with a grin. “Ooh, you know what we should do? We should ditch the group and go our own way, explore the city, live life in the fast lane. Have a real adventure. Seize this opportunity while we can.”</p><p>“And get grounded for a month when we get back home and sleep outside in the tent?” Sterling pointed out, not too keen on the consequences. Plus, this time their mother couldn’t cover for their absence and say they were unwell, and lying was like really bad.</p><p>To Sterling, the field trip was a chance to spend more time with April and find hiding spots where they could kiss. In the two weeks that went by since Ellen announced they were going to New York, they only kissed like seven times, and one of those was more of a peck, really. The first was when Sterling fibbed and told her girlfriend she thought she saw her forget her sketchbook in fellowship. April went to check and Sterling followed her, which lead to a kiss after a small grumble from April, worrying about the fading bruise on Sterling’s jaw.</p><p>The second and the third happened in the janitor’s closet in between classes. April initiated them, much to Sterling’s joy. It was all hot and passionate, but way too short. She was halfway ready to skip Spanish, but April didn’t want to ruin her attendance record. Plus, it would have been too suspicious for both of them to be absent at the exact same time. The fourth, fifth, and sixth kiss took place when Sterling gave April a ride home, pulled aside at a rest stop, and made out with her in the backseat of her car. And the seventh, well, that one didn’t even last two seconds. It was shared when they passed each other in the bathroom.</p><p>So obviously, Sterling desperately needed this field trip to be with her girlfriend.</p><p>Blair dragged her suitcase along. “Why does life have to be so unfair?” she moaned as she approached the bus. “We’re only young once. Soon we’ll be old with responsibilities and stuff, celebrating our 30<sup>th</sup> birthday, wondering where the time and our wrinkle-free skin went, and whether we should adopt another cat or not.”</p><p>“I know, right?” Sterling whispered, inhaling a deep breath. “I can’t believe we’ll turn eighteen next year, but I can’t wait to be old enough to vote though.”</p><p>“Me too and I’d like to see a woman become president someday.”</p><p>“Oh my gosh, it’s like you’ve read my mind,” Sterling agreed with a smile.</p><p>“You can so tell we’re twins. We must have telepathically shared a womb.”</p><p>Sterling wanted to hold her sister’s hand, but she really needed both of them to carry her luggage. They stored away their suitcases, Blair with some reluctance, and got onto the bus, claiming one of the seats somewhere in the back.</p><p>Blair slouched against the back of the seat with a deep sigh, positioned her right elbow against the window, and pulled up her right knee, shoe resting onto the seat in a way that would have earned her a scolding from their mother for not sitting like a lady. And according to Blair, if anyone had a problem with that, the issue lied within the observer not knowing how to chill.</p><p>Sterling didn’t comment on her sister’s posture because frankly, it was more comfortable to let loose sometimes and it was no bother. They finally had a chance to relax without their parents watching over their shoulders, which was why they declined their offer when their parents suggested they could drive them to the airport. Sterling felt pretty indifferent about how she would get there, but she knew Blair couldn’t tolerate being in a small confined space with their parents for forty-five minutes without the urge to open the door and jump out onto the road.</p><p>Blair pushed an earphone in her right ear with a huff just as Ezekiel and Hannah B sat down in front of them. Sterling sighed quietly to herself, watching as April got on the bus as well, kind of wanting to sit next to her and hold her hand. But Sterling knew she couldn’t do that. While their parents believed they restored their friendship, they were still enemies at school because April asked for time to tell her friends that they got along with each other. Besides, Blair could get all grumpy if Sterling ditched her to sit with April, so with everything considered, it was best not to.</p><p>“Uuugh, I’m starving,” Blair whined, rubbing her stomach.</p><p>“I know, you only ate like four pancakes this morning,” Sterling nodded. “And you didn’t even use any maple syrup.”</p><p>“Right?” Blair agreed. “This field trip better be worth the rush cause my stomach isn’t liking it so far.”</p><p>“I have gummy bears,” Hannah B spoke up, turning around in her seat. “Do you want one?” she asked, holding out a plastic bag.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Ezekiel commented, glaring at Hannah B.</p><p>“Offering gummy bears,” Hannah B stated, plain and innocent. “Did I not say that out loud?”</p><p>Sterling covered her mouth with her hand, chuckling silently against her palm. Her gaze drifted toward April, nose buried in a book, absentmindedly tucking her loose hair behind her ear like she was wrapped up in another world, away from the others chattering about, as if she somehow found a way to mute the noise. Sterling loved seeing her girlfriend at ease, sitting in such a relaxed position, she may as well be on a couch, and maybe April enjoyed leaving Atlanta for two days as much as Sterling did.</p><p>Hannah B jostled the bag. “Gummies?” she repeated, extending her offer once more, missing Ezekiel rolling his eyes and muttering to himself.</p><p>“Um, sure,” Blair said, frowning. “Thanks?” she uttered, taking a handful of the candy from Hannah B.</p><p>“Gummy bears are my favorite,” Hannah B shared, fishing around in the bag. “Especially red ones.”</p><p>“Oh my God, I love the red ones!” Blair exclaimed, which was one-hundred percent true because whenever there were gummy bears in their house, she ate the red ones first, and Sterling had to be quick as a cat to hide a few before Blair got to them. “But my number one candy will always be sour patch kids.”</p><p>Hannah B wriggled her nose. “What do those taste like?”</p><p>Ezekiel scoffed. “Girl, are you for real? It’s sour candy. Get a clue.”</p><p>“Don’t be rude to her,” Blair spoke up, surprising both Ezekiel and Sterling.</p><p>Blair went and kicked the back of the seat, which was far less unexpected, but a little uncalled for. Sterling wasn’t sure what had gotten into Blair to behave that way. And in doing so, Ezekiel wasn’t the only one getting jostled a little. With a loud huff, Ezekiel got up and went to join April while Hannah B leaned onto the back of the seat, eyes fixated on Blair without a trace of annoyance.</p><p>“I have some sour patch kids in my suitcase,” Blair said, munching on a red gummy bear. “When we arrive in New York, I’ll knock your flavor palette right out of the park,” she told Hannah B with a promising smile.</p><p>“Some,” Sterling noted with a snort, knowing full well the bottom layer of her sister’s suitcase was nothing but candy because Blair panicked over the possibility they wouldn’t sell sour patch kids in New York, and she couldn’t live like fifty hours without them.</p><p>“Yeah, some,” Blair confirmed, shrugging. “Not a lot. Shove it, Sterl.”</p><p>Sterling gasped. “Rude!”</p><p>Despite Blair being in a mood, Sterling smiled at the fact Hannah B’s gesture opened the door to a possible friendship. If Hannah B became friends with Blair and with Sterling, it was only a matter of time before Ezekiel and April would follow, or so Sterling hoped.</p><p>“My mom packed lunch,” Hannah B shared, opening up a lunchbox. “Do you want one of my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?” she asked, holding it out to Blair.</p><p>“We’re not supposed to-” Sterling commented, sighing when her sister accepted the food. “Eat on the bus,” she finished in a deflated whisper because of course, Blair didn’t care.</p><p>“Pb &amp; j sandwiches are my favorite,” Blair hummed, biting into her sandwich, licking her lips. “I owe you one.”</p><p>“I can’t eat them. I’m allergic to nuts,” Hannah B sighed, eyes flitting down. “My mom keeps forgetting because she drinks a lot.”</p><p>Sterling blinked at Hannah B’s blatant honesty and she caught April palming her forehead while Ezekiel rolled his eyes.</p><p>“I’ll get you something to eat at the airport,” Blair offered.</p><p>There was a dull ache in Sterling’s stomach as it dawned on her everyone’s family had issues. April’s father beat women and her parents got divorced, Luke mentioned his parents argued all the time, Franklin’s parents were in couple’s therapy to save their marriage, Hannah B’s mother was an alcoholic who should go to rehab, and Sterling’s parents were actually her aunt and her uncle.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April clutched her boarding pass tightly in her hand. Everyone around her whispered how happy they were to get off the stuffy bus and onto a plane instead. Well, the view was more impressive, she had to give them that much. But on the other hand, being down there on the road didn’t make her heart shoot up in her throat the way being on a plane did – unless Blair was the one driving, in which case April did feel as though it would be the death of her.</p><p>This field trip was easily the hundredth time she found herself catching a plane, but regardless, April still felt her stomach twist into a dozen knots every time it took off, and she could tell today wouldn’t be any different. Her family had a private plane for Pete’s sake. She needed to get over the crushing thought that she wouldn’t be able to breathe at all or that the pilot would lose control and crash them into a ravine.</p><p>April sucked in fistfuls of air while she followed the directions of Ellen’s pointer finger, assigning her a seat. She was already scooting to go sit down when April noticed Sterling sat in the same row, next to Blair who had claimed the spot next to the window. That was how April found herself in the middle, with Sterling on her left and Blair on her outer left, and Hannah B on her right, and Ezekiel on her outer right, trapped between her best friends and her sworn enemies.</p><p>Not that it mattered much. April had bigger fish to fry than Ezekiel sighing, Hannah B trying to have a conversation with Blair about food, and Blair frowning at her as if she wanted to pick April’s brain to figure out why she didn’t move over to a different row. April could sit literally anywhere, even in the cockpit, and it wouldn’t change a thing of how much she hated being on a plane. Not that others would understand when she often boasted about her father’s jet.</p><p>“1…2…3…4,” April mouthed, inhaling through her nose.</p><p>It was only a two-hour flight. April could manage two hours. If she put it in perspective, one hundred twenty minutes didn’t sound so hard. Yet, she felt her throat threatening to close up with each breath while her nails dug themselves into her jeans. How could she still struggle when she spent many hours on a plane every summer since she was a toddler? She wanted to laugh at how irrational her fear was, but more than anything, she wished to overcome her anxiety.</p><p>Sterling shifted next to her, wriggling her arms out of her jacket. With a soft smile and a tender glint in her eyes, she shrugged it off and used it as a blanket, covering April’s left leg and hand.</p><p>“Do you mind?” Sterling questioned. “These seats are kind of small.”</p><p>April exhaled an audible sigh. “Whatever, Sterling, I don’t care,” she answered, welcoming the touch of Sterling’s hand underneath the jacket.</p><p>April intertwined their fingers and her breathing relaxed significantly when Sterling caressed the back of her thumb with the pad of hers. April eased her grip on her right leg, focusing on the comfort of her soulmate, whose empathy warmed her heart and reminded her they were in this together.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ellen switched on the megaphone. “There’s been a slight mix-up, y’all,” she announced with a hint of laughter.</p><p>“If the next words out of her mouth are that we’ll be sleeping outside in a tent, we should get in a taxi and get a room somewhere,” Blair mumbled. “I’m thinking three to four stars with a Jacuzzi and room service.”</p><p>“I didn’t bring my bathing suit,” Sterling whispered, pouting.</p><p>“Me neither, but we could buy one. Why else do you think I put my bear in my suitcase?”</p><p>“Sentimental attachment?” Sterling guessed, pulling up her shoulders. “I don’t know. It’s your favorite stuffed animal.”</p><p>“If you tell anyone I still sleep with a stuffed animal, I’ll kill you in your sleep,” Blair grumbled under her breath. “But also, I’d kill myself because I can’t live without you and I don’t want you to be alone in heaven.”</p><p>Sterling smiled at her sister. “That’s so thoughtful. And I can’t live without you either,” she responded, holding her hand. “And I won’t tell anyone. My lips are sealed and I’ve thrown away the key in like, the ocean, where the sharks and all those other scary sea creatures swim around.”</p><p>“Oh my God, you don’t even go near the ocean,” Blair noted with a silent gasp.</p><p>Sterling nodded. “Nobody knows what’s at the bottom.”</p><p>“Probably a shit ton of plastic because that’s the real horror if you ask me.”</p><p>“Listen carefully, SOWA!” Ellen shouted, fumbling with the megaphone to pull a piece of paper out of her pocket.</p><p>Sterling shared a curious yet very confused frown with Blair, mouthing “SOWA?” at the same time.</p><p>“SOWA?” Coach Esposito asked, staring at Ellen as if she had grown two extra heads.</p><p>“Students of Willingham Academy,” Ellen clarified with a radiant smile.</p><p>“Oh,” Sterling whispered.</p><p>Blair huffed. “Why didn’t she say that in the first place?”</p><p>“As I was saying, there’s been a mix-up,” Ellen continued, glancing at the paper in her hand. “I thought I reserved rooms with single beds, but it turns out y’all will have to sleep together.”</p><p>About half of the students cheered while the other half looked positively mortified. Oh, dear Lord, those permission slips would have never been signed if everyone’s parents had been made aware of the error.</p><p>“Y’all will be split up with a partner,” Ellen explained. “No shenanigans, of course, so no boys and girls in one room.”</p><p>That added sentiment turned the cheering half of the students into the booing ones while the others seemed relieved.</p><p>Ellen started naming duos along with which floor they would be on and which room they would be in, going as far as to not let any boys sleep on the same floor as the girls. “April and Hannah B,” she called. “Room 204. Sterling and Blair, room 205. Lorna and Hannah G, room -”</p><p>“Do you think we’ll find chocolates on our pillow?” Blair asked, nudging Sterling to get moving.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April arrived on the second floor of the hotel with her suitcase in one hand and the key to her room in the other, with her best friend in tow. She preferred single beds, although she had sleepovers with Hannah B before, and the error could have been much worse, so with everything considered, the arrangement was fine. April walked past the Wesley twins, eyes flitting briefly in Sterling’s direction, heart thudding at the fact she would be sleeping right next door, separated by a single wall.</p><p>Perhaps April could sneak out tonight for a minute to visit her neighbors and give Sterling a kiss before going back to her room to sleep next to Hannah B, wishing she was with Sterling instead. Oh, how April yearned to hold her soulmate in her arms, to wake up next to her again and memorize every inch of her face.</p><p>“I’m so sick and tired of you, Sterl!” Blair shouted, dropping her suitcase.</p><p>Sterling jumped back. “Hey, watch out for my feet!”</p><p>“I’m like, legit mad right now,” Blair said, pressing her index finger and her thumb together. “I can’t stand to look at you tonight.”</p><p>“What?” Sterling mouthed, staggering a step.</p><p>April blinked at their odd argument. She never witnessed those two fight before, if it could be called that. They seemed fine on the bus and there was nothing out of the ordinary on the plane either. Blair showed signs of rage issues before, just never aimed at Sterling, not with April nearby at least.</p><p>“You think you’re so special,” Blair scoffed. “Well, guess what? Our parents aren’t here to treat you like their favorite princess. You’re no better than me.”</p><p>Sterling looked like she was about to cry then. “I never said I’m better than you.”</p><p>Blair stomped forward. “I’m not sharing a room with you,” she grumbled at Sterling one second, and the next, she took the keys right out of April’s hand. “We’re switching,” Blair stated firmly. “And since I can’t stand you either,” she huffed at April, “you’re sharing with Sterling now and I’ll share with Hannah B.”</p><p>“I… but,” April spluttered, eyes flitting back and forth between Sterling and Blair.</p><p>But then Sterling’s mouth shaped into an O, and Blair winked while using the key to open the door of the room April initially had been assigned to, and she realized what the scene was really about. Inhaling slowly, she gathered her things and walked over to Sterling, who had yet to move.</p><p>“Looks like we’re stuck together,” April sighed. “Again.”</p><p>Sterling fumbled with the keys. “Really, you again?” she responded, faux frustration lost in her dreamy smile and dazzling eyes.</p><p>It didn’t matter to April, though. Nobody was there watching them and her best friend accepted the switcheroo without any complaints or questions. Not that it was in any way shocking sweet Hannah B acted like a puppy when nobody ever defied Blair’s anger. That girl had ticking time bomb written all over her and April couldn’t have been more relieved Blair wasn’t genuinely crossed with Sterling.</p><p>“Your sister is not subtle,” April chuckled, in the privacy of their hotel room.</p><p>Sterling grabbed April by the lapels of her jacket, pressed her against the door, and kissed her with a faint whimper that made April weak in the knees. She shuddered into the contact, heart beating fast while she put her hands on Sterling’s back, pulling her closer.</p><p>April felt tears slide down her cheeks or perhaps they were Sterling’s, or a mixture of both while she smiled into the long-overdue kiss they both clearly needed and wanted.</p><p>Sterling backed away an inch or so, whispering, “Are you wearing cherry chapstick?”</p><p>“My lips were dry,” April answered in earnest. “And I was hoping for a kiss good night.”</p><p>“You’re going to get a kiss good night, a kiss good morning, another kiss good night, and a kiss good morning again, roomie.”</p><p>April smiled and settled her hands on Sterling’s hips. “I think I might like your sister after all.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you think of the field trip so far. :-)</p><p>The next update will probably be next weekend, so stay tuned.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just want to say that I appreciate the people who always leave a comment. <br/>It often makes me smile to read them and seeing familiar names pop up. </p><p>So as a thank you, here's an early update. :-)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sterling hadn’t even begun unpacking yet when some random student knocked on her door, to let her know everyone was asked to meet up in the lobby downstairs, per Ellen’s request. One hour was nowhere close to enough time because Sterling had yet to open the zipper…of her suitcase.</p><p>With a sigh, she observed April slipping her arms into the sleeves of her leather jacket, hiding those incredible biceps Sterling squeezed while they kissed, and God, she would rather spend this entire vacation locked in her room with April and forget all about New York and the cathedral which was supposed to be magnificent, but could never live up to how breathtaking April was.  </p><p>April, who leaned on her tippy toes and kissed Sterling on the cheek before heading out, April who looked hot in leather while simultaneously being the cutest human being on the planet, April who casually reapplied her chapstick with the audacity to maintain eye-contact while doing it, April whose mouth was all over Sterling’s until that knock at their door ruined Sterling’s thoughts of a different set of lips.</p><p>April, April, April.</p><p>“I need water,” Sterling whispered to herself as she went down to the lobby.</p><p>“-surprise, it’s karaoke time!” Sterling caught Ellen say while she joined the others.</p><p>Sterling slipped her hands into the pockets of her hoodie. She followed Ellen and the rest of the Willingham Academy gang to what turned out to be a bar with a stage front and center, all set up with a big screen and microphones. Okay, getting water clearly wasn’t going to be a problem, although Sterling doubted a bunch of seventeen-year-old teenagers were allowed to be there.</p><p>“Miss Johnson,” Luke said and oh, Luke was here too?</p><p>Sterling hadn’t even noticed him getting on the bus, boarding the plane, or arriving at the hotel. If she was perfectly honest, lately, she wasn’t aware of his presence at all. She was so wrapped up in her own world with her sister and her girlfriend that she hadn’t spent any time with Luke in a while now. And Sterling felt kind of bad because they were supposed to be friends, and she didn’t even ask Luke how things were at home, with his parents.</p><p>“We’re not twenty-one,” Luke reminded Ellen, “and my parents wouldn’t let me drink.”</p><p>“Oh Lord Jesus, no,” Ellen responded. “We’re here to have fun,” she explained, smiling at coach Esposito who looked the other way. “There won’t be any alcohol consumption on our watch.”</p><p>“Indeed there shall not,” April chimed in. Her presence was so grand it was easy to forget how petite she was. “As fellowship leader and a loyal disciple of God, I shall personally see to it no misconduct occurs.”</p><p>“Ugh,” Blair groaned, reaching out to Sterling through their twin vision, “can you hook up with her already so she’ll finally relax for once?”</p><p>“I think it’s adorable how much she cares,” Sterling countered, although she would love to help her girlfriend relax, in whichever way April wanted her to.</p><p>“We are so lucky you’re here,” Ezekiel told April, patting her shoulder.</p><p>“Very lucky,” Hannah B followed. “I don’t know what we would do without you.”</p><p>April gave her friends a tightlipped smile. “Did you bring the breath mints I told you to buy?” she asked Ezekiel before turning to Hannah B, saying “did you pack your EpiPen? If not, I have one.”</p><p>Sterling walked over to the bar with some reluctance, but she couldn’t stare at April up close for much longer before Hannah B and Ezekiel would notice. Now that she was finally close to sleeping with April, in a totally soft and cuddly kind of way, Sterling didn’t want to risk annoying her by making it seem like she wanted to rush April to tell her friends that they were friends (and so much more).</p><p>“I’ll have a Pepsi,” Blair said to the bartender, occupying the seat next to Sterling. “And give her the same,” Blair added, nodding her head at Sterling while she pulled out her wallet.</p><p>Sterling grabbed a coaster and toyed with the edges while the bartender got the two Pepsis Blair ordered. The silence between them wasn’t what Sterling wanted nor what she expected. She glanced at her sister from the corner of her eye, noticing how Blair observed the bartender. Sterling shifted her gaze and had to do a slight double-take at the woman smiling at both of them.</p><p>The bartender had a gorgeous tan, which was visible in the tank top she had on, and Sterling was positive she worked out, judging from the abs flexing underneath the thin fabric. She quickly tore her eyes away and imagined April getting all worked up and grabbing her arm, and God, Sterling needed to feel April touch her.</p><p>“Two Pepsis,” the bartender uttered, setting the glasses down atop the bar. “No charge.”</p><p>“Um, Raven Reyes, is it?” Blair read, staring at her name tag, practically spitting her name out. She dug into her wallet and slid a twenty-dollar bill over the counter with a forced smile. “I’m flattered, but I’m seventeen and she’s taken.”</p><p>“Sisters!” Sterling blurted out, unsure why she did that.</p><p>Maybe she wasn’t as ready with people knowing she was bisexual as she thought she was. Sterling didn’t want the stranger to assume anything and it would be super gross if anyone thought she was an item with Blair, but not the first time because they weren’t identical so sometimes people mistook their sisterly love for something else.</p><p>“Hi, flattered,” Raven responded to Blair, tossing a towel over her shoulder. “Hi, taken,” she greeted Sterling, at which point Blair’s grumpy attitude made place for a genuine smile.</p><p>“I’m Raven, but locals call me Ray,” the bartender shared. “And my gesture was meant as a warm welcome and understanding students might wanna spend their money elsewhere.”</p><p>“I’m, err…,” Blair trailed off.</p><p>“She’s Blair, I’m Sterling,” Sterling informed the bartender. “Thank you for the drinks,” she uttered out of sheer politeness and a sense of gratitude.</p><p>The bartender moved on to serve other customers and Blair awkwardly tapped her fingers against her glass, whispering something along the lines of, ‘<em>fuck</em> <em>she’s hot</em>.’</p><p>“About earlier,” Sterling started. “I appreciate what you did, but you should’ve told me about your plan.”</p><p>“Nah,” Blair replied, shaking her head. “It was more fun and believable my way.”</p><p>“I was worried you hated me until you winked at me,” Sterling admitted, chewing her lip.</p><p>“Oh my gosh,” Blair whispered, pulling Sterling off of her seat and into her arms. “I’m so sorry, Sterl. I thought you knew I was faking it from the start. I could never hate you. You’re my whole universe.”</p><p>Sterling sighed softly into the hug. “I love you so much, sis.”</p><p>“Awe, you two made up!” Hannah B cooed near them.</p><p>Blair and Sterling jumped apart, and Sterling gulped at the thought of Hannah B asking to undo the switch. Maybe physically shoving Blair would help to avoid that outcome, but Sterling couldn’t even pretend to be angry at her twin. It was too hard to glare at someone she spent her whole life with, especially now that Blair did her a solid by giving her some privacy with April.</p><p>“Yeah, I couldn’t stay mad at her,” Blair acknowledged with a nod. “But I’m keeping our room because you give me food and she gives me headaches,” she informed Hannah B, laughing.</p><p>Hannah B smiled. “Will you duet with me?” she asked, pointing at the stage where Lorna reached the end of ‘<em>Like a virgin</em>.’</p><p>“I might need something stronger than Pepsi for that,” Blair answered, taking a sip from her drink.</p><p>Hannah B’s lips curled into a pout. “I’ll ask someone else.”</p><p>“I’ll sing if I get to pick the song.”</p><p>Sterling bit back a laugh at Blair losing her balance when Hannah B in her sweet excitement tugged at her hand. And of course, like the supportive sister she was, Sterling turned around, leaning against the bar to watch Blair perform with their new friend. It wasn’t official yet, but Sterling had a good feeling they would all become friends.</p><p>“When you were here before, couldn’t look you in the eye,” Blair sang with a raw crack in her voice that quieted down most of the chatter at the bar. “You’re just like an angel,” she went on, turning a quarter, facing Hannah B, “your skin makes me cry.”</p><p>“You float like a feather, in a beautiful world,” Hannah B filled in, moving her free hand up and down like waves. “I wish I was special. You’re so hmm hmm special.”</p><p>Sterling chuckled at the visible relief on Ellen’s face Hannah B didn’t curse as they did in the song, although Sterling wondered if the word fuck was really such a bad thing. There were worse things to say and it was a part of karaoke. But mostly, she thought about her sister nailing the song.</p><p>“But I’m a creep,” Blair and Hannah B sang together. “I’m a weirdo.”</p><p>Some people gasped and Sterling found herself doing the same, blown away by the talent and how perfect their voices sounded blended together. She unlocked her phone, catching what she could on video, as evidence and in case Blair wanted to post a piece on TikTok.</p><p>Sterling wiped at a lone tear, so proud of her sister for getting up on that stage and touching everyone with her heartfelt rendition of an already powerful song.</p><p>April leaned over the bar. “Your sister is a good person when she wants to be,” she commented, flagging the bartender down.</p><p>“She’s always a good person,” Sterling corrected, tracing her finger over the rim of her glass. “She’s just been hurt one too many times,” she sighed sadly, watching her sister grip the cord of her microphone.</p><p>“I get it. Trust takes time,” April hummed. “Yes, hi,” she said to the bartender, “a diet coke, please.”</p><p>“Are you going to sing something tonight?”</p><p>“I would rather strip naked,” April answered, calm and neutral.</p><p>Sterling coughed up droplets of her Pepsi. “If…um…,” she whispered, turning bright red, “if you want to do that in our room later…I won’t stop you.”</p><p>April chuckled. The sound was all light and airy and beautiful. “You’re cute when you’re nervous,” she commented, paying for her drink and taking it with her. “I’ll see you later tonight, roomie,” she winked.</p><p>Sterling was left sitting there, gaping for a solid second or two, but her girlfriend wasn’t going to get away with that so easily. If the mountain refused to come to Muhammad, then Muhammad had to go to the mountain, so if April wasn’t going to perform on stage, Sterling would.</p><p>With her head held high while her heart did loops, Sterling chose for ‘<em>A thousand years’</em> and searched for April’s eyes in the crowd. April placed her apparently already empty glass atop the bar and said something to the bartender, who responded with a smile.</p><p>Sterling nearly missed her cue on the monitor, distracted by her girlfriend’s laughter. She was happy to see April was having a good night and when she looked around at the others, Sterling saw Luke giving her a thumbs-up, and she noticed Blair chatting with Hannah B while they shared a bag of chips.</p><p>“Heart beats fast,” Sterling began a bit shakily because it sure did. “Colors and promises. How to be brave, how can I love when I’m afraid to fall. But watching you stand alone, all of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.”</p><p>“Sterling Wesley in the house!” Blair hollered.</p><p>Sterling caught April smiling at her and she accidentally forgot to sing a few lines. With a blush, Sterling cleared her throat and went on. “I have loved you for a thousand years. I’ll love you for a thousand more.”</p><p>Sterling placed her left hand on her stomach and to others, it probably looked like she was trying to control her breathing, but she knew April would understand the meaning behind her gesture. They were soulmates. Sterling was going to love April for so much longer than a thousand years.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April sat on the edge of the bed, pleased with the sleeping arrangements. She crossed her right leg over her left, hands placed behind her, and watched as Sterling emerged from the bathroom in a shirt and pajama bottoms, similar to what April had on. She drank Sterling in from head to toe, admiring her long legs, smiling at the twirl Sterling did, chuckling when she stumbled.</p><p>“The song you sang tonight was quite pretty,” April complimented as she got under the sheets.</p><p>Sterling joined her, scooting close. “I wish I could have seen you up there.”</p><p>“I was afraid to sing in front of everyone,” April admitted, only doing so in private when nobody else was around. “But if it helps, I can give you a thousand kisses and I’ll sing at our wedding,” she added with a chuckle.</p><p>Sterling’s lips curled up into a smile. “How do you feel about hitchhiking to Vegas?”</p><p>April exhaled softly, sighing out a smile. “I love you.”</p><p>“I love you, too. I really, truly, deeply do.”</p><p>April’s heart skipped a beat while she stared into Sterling’s eyes, sending thoughts of gratitude out into the universe for getting to share a room with her. This time, April didn’t have to worry about someone walking in. The door was locked and everyone else was in their respective rooms. She could breathe without choking up whenever she heard something.</p><p>April connected her lips with Sterling’s, laughing when Sterling whispered, “one.”</p><p>Sterling was a dork and the fact she was happy to be with her made April’s heart swell. She could feel Sterling’s love for her wrap around her like a warm blanket, safe and comforted in a way that reminded April of home. Months ago, the idea of someone looking at her the way Sterling did seemed impossible. April still had to convince herself she was worthy and deserving to be on the receiving end of desire and a feeling that went much deeper.</p><p>April took Sterling’s wrists in her hands and pinned them next to the pillow, leaning down to capture her lips in a kiss that made April’s head spin. She whimpered upon feeling Sterling’s tongue beg for entrance, teasing her, driving her crazy. April shifted on top of her soulmate, bracketing her hips with her thighs while she parted her lips, shuddering as her tongue met Sterling’s in a slow and sensual kiss.</p><p>Her abdomen tickled as if the butterflies tattooed on April’s skin came to life for a moment, fluttering alongside those she felt on the inside of her stomach. The feeling grew stronger, more pleasant, and exhilarating the longer her mouth drew quiet moans from Sterling’s, and April loved every split second, searing this memory into her brain, writing it into her heart. She licked Sterling’s upper lip and moved on to her bottom lip, pulling it back with her teeth, experimenting.</p><p>“April,” Sterling whispered like a prayer. She shrugged her hands free and cupped the back of April’s neck, drawing her into a kiss that quickly grew heated.</p><p>April surrendered herself fully to the feeling, simultaneously grinding her hips against Sterling’s. Their tongues danced in a beat that matched April’s heart. She was surprised it hadn’t leapt from her chest yet because the fact Sterling couldn’t keep her hands to herself drove her to the end of her wits in the best imaginable way. Sterling’s fingers kneaded April’s shoulders and she moaned at the pressure being just right. She felt her soulmate’s hands slide lower, down her back, and to the side of her hips.</p><p>“Mhmm, Sterling,” April breathed out, soaking in the warmth of Sterling’s thumbs brushing her skin where her shirt had ridden up just a little.</p><p>Sterling’s hands wandered under April’s shirt, slowing to a stop at the edge of her ribs. “Is this okay?” Sterling checked, staring into April’s eyes.</p><p>“Yes,” April answered, reconnecting their lips.</p><p>“Soft,” Sterling murmured, nail scraping around April’s belly button. “Perfect,” Sterling hummed, shifting underneath April. “Mine,” Sterling declared in a low possessive growl April never heard her use before.</p><p>April’s breath stuttered when Sterling latched her lips onto her neck, alternating between kissing her and biting her while Sterling’s hands stayed low. And Jesus Christ, April couldn’t take much more of this. In her mind, she pictured herself tossing her purity ring into a lake somewhere and devour Sterling right after, but there were other firsts April had yet to experience, so she knew she had to clear her head and try one of those instead.</p><p>“Yours,” April confirmed, smiling when it resulted in a moan, which Sterling stifled by biting down on April’s shoulder.</p><p>“Easy there, tiger,” April chuckled, grasping Sterling’s chin between her fingers. “Let’s stick to one mark, shall we?” April mused, eyes flitting toward Sterling’s stomach.</p><p>Sterling’s cheeks reddened. “I can’t seem to help myself around you,” she sighed, caressing April’s lower back. “I just…it’s…,” Sterling whispered, running her fingers up April’s ribcage, stopping mere inches away from her boobs, “you’re so beautiful and you’re on top of me, and all I want to do is touch you.”</p><p>“So touch me,” April challenged. She felt her soulmate’s fingers still and repeated, “Touch me.”</p><p>In addition to her sentiment, April grabbed one of Sterling’s hands and guided it higher to show her she wanted this to happen. April closed her eyes and sucked in a short breath when Sterling’s thumb brushed over her nipple. Sterling grew more confident after that, using both of her hands, palming April’s boobs. It felt good and familiar, despite the touch being new. Sterling was warm and seemed to know exactly what she was doing, stroking April’s skin in a way that elicited a reaction from her body.</p><p>“Can I take off your shirt?” Sterling asked, licking her lips just as April’s eyes fluttered open. “I’ll take off mine, too,” Sterling offered, “if that’s okay because if it’s too much, we can totally, like, cuddle and watch tv or go to sleep.”</p><p>“You can take it off,” April decided, smiling down at the love of her life. “I want you to. I want to feel your hands and your lips on my breasts and-” She swallowed right after Sterling gulped, wondering if she said too much.</p><p>“A-and?” Sterling prompted, grasping the hem of April’s shirt.</p><p>“Your tongue,” April confessed, leaning back, lifting her arms up.</p><p>Sterling righted herself, clearing her throat as she did so. “Your wish is my command,” she winked, taking off April’s shirt first and hers next.</p><p>At least, Sterling tried to take off hers next. She gawked at April’s naked chest, getting her arms stuck in her short sleeves in the process, which was equal parts impressive and amusing.</p><p>“Come here, you klutz,” April uttered, reaching her hands out to help her dork of a soulmate.</p><p>“I love your boobs,” Sterling blurted out. “And, um, you in general,” she added, chewing her lip.</p><p>April shook her head, but she was all smiles. “Likewise, babe.”</p><p>The night went on with neither one of them wearing a shirt, exchanging lingering kisses while their hands wandered. April rolled over onto her back, clutching the sheets when Sterling’s tongue teased her nipple, using one of her hands to cup her other breast. Sterling shifted, repositioning herself, leg sliding between April’s and she didn’t know if Sterling did it on purpose or not, but she didn’t want her to stop.</p><p>Sterling’s knee provided friction and April basked in the feeling, dragging her nails lightly down Sterling’s back, leaving marks that disappeared almost immediately after they appeared. April had an overwhelming urge to cant her hips upward to create more pressure where her body seemed to want it most, but she focused on regulating her breathing and ignored the flame ignited by Sterling’s mouth on her bare chest.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>A sliver of sunlight made it past the closed curtains and Sterling blinked at the brightness. She lifted her left hand to her face, rubbing her eyes until she could focus without being blinded. It had to be early, still. There was a car honking down the street outside and some muted traffic noise, though other than that, it was fairly quiet. She turned her head to the right, breath catching at the sight of her girlfriend, half-covered by the sheet.</p><p>The tattoo on April’s abdomen was partially visible, showing off the extraordinary mark that was once black ink until it had burst out into color. Sterling swore the butterflies were more vibrant than the last time she saw them, as if they progressed along with their relationship, promising to outsell Picasso by the time they sealed their love for one another in marriage. The thought of holding April’s hand and sliding a ring onto her finger filled Sterling’s heart with pure joy. There was nothing in the world she wanted more than a future where she could call April her wife.</p><p>They were still young and in high school, although that didn’t stop Sterling from dreaming about that magical day. She smiled at April, whose hair was spread all over the pillow, and proved messes could be beautiful. One of her hands was draped lazily across her waist while the other rested palm up next to her pillow.</p><p>“I can’t believe you’re real,” Sterling whispered, propping herself up on her elbow so she could admire her girlfriend better. “If this is a dream, don’t pinch me,” she mused with a hushed chuckle.</p><p>Sterling really, really, really wanted to take a picture and use it as her lock screen on her phone, but she would never do that without April’s consent, and she didn’t want to wake her up to ask. Not when April looked so peaceful and dreamy and soft and too fast asleep to be disturbed.</p><p>Slowly, Sterling extended her fingers, caressing April’s cheek, which was perfectly rosy. Sterling leaned in and fluttered her lips against her girlfriend’s forehead, then her nose, and finally her cheeks, before hesitating to simply kiss her. April had to wake up eventually, so Sterling decided to wait a bit longer and let her roommate get her rest.</p><p>Sterling brought her hands together and folded her fingers. “Hello, God, it’s me again. Don’t worry, this time I’m not here to ask for anything. I want to take a moment to express my sincere gratitude. Thank you for blessing me with a soulmate. I love her so much and I should have known from the beginning that you had a plan. Thank you for taking a chance on us. It means a lot to me and I promise I won’t waste this opportunity. I’ll do right by her. Amen.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is going to get gayer, folks.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The students crowded in front of the cathedral, each one taller than April, except for Franklin, who was pretty much the same size and didn’t obstruct her view. With her Polaroid camera at the ready, April waited for the others to stand in a semi-circle –- something one would think they would remember how to do considering they were taught such things in pre-school –- so she could snap the perfect shot of the entrance and add it to her box of memories later.</p><p>What April wished to capture more than anything was the smile on her soulmate’s face this morning when she woke up and caught Sterling staring at her. It made April feel a little naked at first and when it dawned on her she was still topless and exposed by the sunlight pouring in through the windows, she almost hid under the sheets, but then Sterling leaned in to kiss her, breasts pressed up against hers, and suddenly April couldn’t think straight.</p><p>Unfortunately, she could only take pictures with her mind, for now. April had to be very careful to keep her relationship with Sterling under wraps and if she were to collect photographs of Sterling, her parents might find out. April’s mother could look at her camera as soon as she came home and if not, the guy who would develop the photos might tell people he saw something suspicious. The risk was too high, though even now, as Sterling stood twelve feet away from her, with her hair half up and half down, wearing a baby blue dress with spaghetti strings which stopped right above her knees, as if she was attending a wedding, April felt tempted to capture a glimpse of her anyway.</p><p>“These doors are the main entrance of the cathedral and as y’all can see, they’re decorated with relief sculptures,” Ellen explained, gesturing at the six people on the doors, three on the left and three on the right. “The first one is St. Joseph, patron of the church, husband of Mary, Jesus’ mother. Right next to him y’all can see St. Patrick, the patron of this church. He was a fifth-century Romano-British Christian missionary and bishop in Ireland. Then, here in the middle, there’s St. Isaac Jogues, the first priest in New York. He was a French missionary and a martyr. And St. Frances Xavier Cabrini, mother of the immigrant. She was the founder of the Missionary Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, an organization that helped Italians migrate to America. Mother Cabrini and her sisters took in orphans and foundlings, and opened a day school.”</p><p>“Impressive,” April whispered, glancing through the pamphlet Ezekiel held open for her to read along.</p><p>April wrung herself between two of her peers, whom she didn’t bother looking at, taking a picture of the doors.</p><p>“Here,” Ellen continued, “we have St. Kateri Tekakwitha, Lily of the Mohawks. And last, but certainly not least, Mother Elizabeth Seton, daughter of New York. Each door is sixteen and a half by five and a half feet and weighs no less than nine thousand two hundred pounds, so y’all be careful not to get stuck between them because our school’s insurance might not cover that,” she shared with a chuckle.</p><p>“This is not a joke, kids,” Coach Esposito added. “It’s in the fine prints of the permission slips your parents signed.”</p><p>April frowned. “Wait, what?” she muttered as the tour went on.</p><p>“The Saint Patrick’s Cathedral is a neo-gothic church, and its first brick was placed in 1858,” Ellen said as they walked through the bronze doors. “These gorgeous stained glass windows were made in Boston, England, and France,” she continued onward, pointing at them. </p><p>April shifted her Polaroid camera, awed by the exquisite art inside the cathedral, although Sterling wasn’t the only breathtaking sight to catch her eye. April gave in to temptation by taking a picture of the others as a group, masking the fact she did it to get one of Sterling, although judging from the wink her soulmate gave her, Sterling saw right through April’s plan.</p><p>“I guess we shouldn’t touch any of the art, huh?” Blair said, directing her comment at Ellen and Coach Esposito.</p><p>April nearly dropped her camera when Blair shot a dirty grin her way. God, that girl was a bit of a demon sometimes, the kind who knew she had a naughty side and enjoyed tormenting others. But April owed Blair for trading rooms, so she let her poke away, this once.</p><p>“Touching art would be bad,” Sterling chimed in with a twinkle in her eyes. “People usually just nail it against the wall.”</p><p>In an attempt to keep her jaw from dropping, April bit her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. Dear God, they were in the house of the Lord! This was absolutely not the time or the place to voice such provocative thoughts. The sinful smile that appeared on Sterling’s face made April imagine Sterling pinning her against the wall, ravaging her, which worsened the already bad situation.</p><p>How was April supposed to concentrate with the Wesley twins teasing her? It wasn’t new coming from Blair, but Sterling used to get all blinky and spluttery and turn fifty shades of red, and April was by no means ready to switch places despite the fact her heart stuttered in her chest. The desire toward her soulmate, which burned inside of her, lured her toward challenging Sterling to turn her words into actions, but April reminded herself all she needed was deep breaths and patience, lots of patience.</p><p>“The Saint Patrick’s Cathedral is a national historic landmark,” Ellen shared. “And a New York City landmark.”</p><p>“Hey,” Hannah B whispered a while later after Ellen explained everything there was to find in the pamphlet, “do you maybe want to light a candle?”</p><p>“It says on the plaque you need to donate a dollar for each candle,” Ezekiel noted, bobbing his head at the stand with a few dozen candles, of which seven were burning.</p><p>“Oh,” Hannah B sighed, pouting. “I don’t have that much money. My mom gave me forty dollars.”</p><p>“Jesus…,” April mouthed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “You don’t have to pay for all of these candles, only for the ones you light. It’s called reading comprehension.”</p><p>“Either you’re terrible at math,” Ezekiel commented to Hannah B, “or you’ve lost way too many people.”</p><p>“Oh okay,” Hannah B replied, retrieving her wallet from her purse. “I only need seven candles.”</p><p>“Seven?” April questioned, frown settling on her face.</p><p>To the last of April’s knowledge, Hannah B lost six family members, and she suddenly felt terrible for her crass reaction in regards to her best friend misunderstanding how much it would cost to light a candle. April shouldn’t be harsh whenever Hannah B showed how naïve she was, but she often found she couldn’t help herself. Hannah B’s innocence angered April sometimes because she still seemed utterly carefree and unaware of the harshness of the world, while April struggled to find her place within their community.</p><p>And it was wrong of her to take her frustrations out on her friends. It wasn’t Hannah B’s fault that she still had her childlike wonder and awe in the way she perceived things, while April had her pink-colored glasses trampled on a long time ago. She needed to stop being such a mean friend before her friends realized they were better off without her.</p><p>Hannah B nodded sadly. “My hamster died,” she answered, lighting the first candle. “Hammy liked carrots,” she explained with a smile that was barely there as she went on to the second candle. “And he liked to hide in my hoodie,” she chuckled lightly, tugging at the sleeves of the light-grey hoodie she had on.</p><p>“Hammy?” Ezekiel asked.</p><p>“Hammy,” Hannah B confirmed. “Named after Hammy from Over the Hedge.”</p><p>“Girl, that’s a squirrel.”</p><p>“Leave her alone, jackass,” Blair interrupted, shoving her shoulder into Ezekiel’s.</p><p>Ezekiel gasped, as did April.</p><p>“We are inside the cathe-”</p><p>Blair cut April off with a sharp glare and for a second, April thought the older twin was going to punch her, but no such thing happened.</p><p>Ezekiel crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re acting strange,” he flat out told Blair, and he had a point.</p><p>April questioned Blair’s behavior as well, just not out loud. The answer didn’t particularly matter and April didn’t want to meddle in Blair’s business because Blair was someone she didn’t want to be enemies with, although it was unsure whether they ever stopped being enemies in the first place. Either way, April knew her place and knew when to keep her mouth shut.</p><p>“Whatever, dude,” Blair scoffed, “at least I’m not the one being an ass to one of my friends, so if anyone needs to take a long hard look into the mirror and rethink their behavior, it’s you and little miss stuck-up.”</p><p>Well, so much for April trying to avoid getting hit by shrapnel, though Blair was right to put her in her place. April felt ashamed of the way she acted, but she couldn’t get an apology past her lips. She was embarrassed enough.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling clasped her purse into her right hand and bounded into the gift shop her sister spotted as they walked along 5<sup>th</sup> Avenue, a mile and a half away from the Saint Patrick’s Cathedral. Their tour ended an hour ago and with very minimal pleading, they convinced Miss Johnson and Coach Esposito to let them explore the city so they could buy souvenirs, and meet up at the hotel in three hours.</p><p>April, strangely, wasn’t thrilled about the news to wander around however they liked, so Sterling didn’t even get the chance to pretend as if they were accidentally going the same way to shop. April claimed it was dangerous for unsupervised teenagers to roam New York City, but they were nearly eighteen and about to be seniors in high school next year, and Sterling and Blair were trained bounty hunters, so how dangerous could it be?</p><p>Besides, Sterling went to Nandina with her sister once, back when they were still sixteen, and nobody got hurt. Not physically, at least. So in a nutshell, discovering a brand new city during a field trip was totally safe, unless she somehow fell forward and scraped her bare knees, though Sterling was sure she had a band-aid in her suitcase somewhere, in the emergency kit her mother made her pack.</p><p>“I wish April was here,” Sterling admitted. “Nobody in this city knows us. I bet I could hold her hand and it wouldn’t matter,” she reasoned, thinking of how friends did that sort of thing as well, which somehow back at home became wrong as they grew older.</p><p>“Ew,” Blair mumbled, yanking her hand free. “Don’t hold my hand, wishing it’s hers. I can’t believe you’d use me like that.”</p><p>“You used my shoulder as a pillow on the plane.”</p><p>“Mhmm, true,” Blair nodded. “I guess we’re even, but I’m totally doing that on our way back, too.”</p><p>“As you should,” Sterling agreed. “It’s important to rest.”</p><p>Sterling stopped in front of a rack filled with various key chains, ranging from yellow cabs, big apples, and the statue of liberty, to slogans such as <em>‘I love NY’</em>. She tinkered with them while she wondered what to get for her girlfriend. She wanted something small yet meaningful, like a necklace or a bracelet, but those could raise questions, so she had to find something more inconspicuous, like an innocent key chain April could pass off as a small souvenir she got for herself.</p><p>“How is sharing a room with Hannah B going?” Sterling asked, spinning the rack.</p><p>“She’s a cuddler. She kind of rolled over to me after she fell asleep and I thought about kicking her out of the bed, but I was too comfy, so it was whatever,” Blair answered, shrugging a shoulder. “Oh, and, Bee smells nice. Who knew snuggling could be so <em>not</em> gross.”</p><p>There was a lot to unpack from that. Blair was the kind of person to kick people for far less than invading her personal space and she moved around during her sleep too much to appreciate having someone cuddle up to her, which Sterling knew for a fact because more times than not, she got hit with the back of Blair’s hand, and once Blair even struck her nose with her foot and her ridiculously athletic genes. Not on purpose, but still, Blair wasn’t the snuggling type.</p><p>Sterling raised a brow. “Bee?” she queried, focusing on that part first.</p><p>“Mhmm, she has this lemony shampoo, and her hair’s way softer than mine.”</p><p>“Um…kay,” Sterling whispered.</p><p>“I gave her a massage because she mentioned something about her back hurting and I wanted to help her feel better,” Blair continued with the nonchalance of a weatherman explaining the map on the screen to let people know whether it was going to be a t-shirt or a sweater kind of day. “The gift shop in the lobby sells a ton of essential oils.”</p><p>Sterling’s jaw dropped. “There’s a gift shop in the lobby of our hotel?”</p><p>Either their supervisors hadn’t noticed or they were happy to get a break from chaperoning unless it was door number three and they were currently out on a date. According to rumors, Coach Esposito had children, but Miss Johnson was definitely single and likely owned multiple cats, which was sad. Ellen was a little neurotic and intense, but very optimistic and kind, so she deserved a happily ever after, and if she happened to find one with Coach Esposito, then good for her.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s close to the elevator, on the right.”</p><p>“And, erm, about that massage…,” Sterling backtracked, pretending to check out the shelf next to the rack in front of her, ogling the snow globes.</p><p>“Oh, I went with vanilla,” Blair responded, picking up a souvenir and studying it up close. “I can give you a massage when we’re home if you want. According to Bee, I’m quite good at it. In fact, she asked me if I want to do it again.”</p><p>Sterling never understood how literal screaming on the inside could be until now. God almighty, she might as well buy a dictionary, look up clueless, and write her sister’s name right next to it because if there was ever an accurate definition for that word, she was looking right at it. Although Hannah B was particularly innocent and naïve, so Sterling needed to rethink her thoughts before drawing conclusions.</p><p>“It sounds like you two are getting along.”</p><p>Blair hummed. “Should I buy a mug, socks, or a shirt?” she asked, holding an <em>‘I love New York’</em> t-shirt in front of her body, which was at least three sizes too big.</p><p>“Hmm, probably not the shirt unless you want to do the matching thing,” Sterling considered, looking through the t-shirts to find one in her size. “And we should get something for mom and dad.”</p><p>“We could get them a postcard,” Blair suggested while she put the oversized t-shirt back.</p><p>“I feel bad mom and dad gave us fifty dollars each,” Sterling confessed, hoping to bring home a slightly more impressive gift than a thick piece of paper with a lovely picture printed on the front. “Dad’s still applying for jobs and we make enough money on our own.”</p><p>“Fine,” Blair groaned. “One postcard each.”</p><p>“You can’t stay mad at them forever.”</p><p>“Watch me.”</p><p>Sterling sighed. “April is right, you are a firecracker,” she muttered, which April told her at the cathedral after Blair apparently told April what was what.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The key chain fit into the palm of April’s hand. She closed her fingers around the souvenir and looked up at Sterling, who smiled down at her as if she didn’t make April worry like crazy earlier today when she arrived at the hotel nine minutes late. Five hundred and forty seconds of imagining Sterling and Blair got abducted or ended up at the hospital due to an accident. April came close to locating every single hospital in and near New York and calling them up to ask if they saw a sweet teenager with blonde hair and a grumpy one with brown hair.</p><p>April’s eyebrows knitted together. “Lady Liberty?”</p><p>“It’s how I see you, in the future,” Sterling explained, covering April’s fingers with hers, “when you’re free and able to step into the light, like how she’s holding a torch. And I’m not saying it has to be next year or even the one after that. I just really hope you’ll find your liberty someday, for yourself, for your happiness.”</p><p>April’s eyes watered at the symbolism. Staying mad at Sterling while she was being thoughtful was impossible and then there was that smile of hers, reflected in her bright blue eyes under the light of their hotel room. April succumbed to her soulmate’s intoxicating smile and kissed her.</p><p>April pulled Sterling closer, stumbling toward the bed when someone knocked on the door. It was locked and deep down, April knew that, but the sound made her forget long enough for her to jump back.</p><p>“Sterl,” April gasped, touching her fingers to her lips. “Baby, I’m so-”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Sterling whispered, leaning forward, kissing April’s forehead, “I know.”</p><p>The person who rudely interrupted their moment and by doing so broke curfew, turned out to be Blair because of course, apparently spending the entire afternoon with her sister wasn’t enough. April approached the door and that was when she noticed the figure standing next to Blair.</p><p>“Hey,” Blair said, grinning from ear to ear, and knowing the older twin, she was up to something mischievous. “Bee and I are going to explore the city, and you two should totally come with us.”</p><p><em>Bee</em>? What in tarnation was going on with the Grinch of Willingham Academy and April’s best friend? First Blair defended Hannah B and now she had a nickname for her? April wondered if this was the first red flag to tell her Hannah B would stop being her friend to hang out with Blair instead, and April could imagine Hannah B connecting with people who were nice to her, unlike April had been. But Blair was not an easy person to get along with. In fact, for as long as April could remember, the only friends Blair had were technically Sterling’s.</p><p>“You’re going outside?” Sterling asked her sister, staring at her through widened eyes. “Past curfew without permission?”</p><p>April wasn’t keen on breaking the rules either. She didn’t want to get in trouble by getting caught and even if they didn’t, God would know of their disobedience.</p><p>“We’re in New York,” Blair responded. “Come on, Sterl. We’ll have pizza and everything.”</p><p>Sterling’s lips curled up. “You know I can’t say no to pizza,” she uttered. “I’m in,” she chuckled, embracing a hug from Blair.</p><p>“I don’t think this is a good idea,” April spoke up. “We are not allowed to leave the perimeter of the hotel at this time, especially not without a chaperone. Furthermore,-”</p><p>“Jesus fucking Christ, April,” Blair groaned, drawing an undignified gasp from April, “would it kill you to live for once?”</p><p>“Language, Blair,” Sterling reprimanded in a mere whisper.</p><p>“Please come with us,” Hannah B pleaded, tugging at April’s arm, “we probably won’t even do anything illegal.”</p><p>Sterling batted her eyelashes with a mouthed <em>‘please’ </em>and April felt a pull inside of her. The kind where she would follow her soulmate to the ends of the earth. If Sterling was going, it seemed only natural April would as well.</p><p>“I expected this from Blair,” April commented on their way to the elevator, raising a brow. “But you…Han,” she sighed, shaking her head. “You’re not a rebel.”</p><p>“I could be a rebel,” Hannah B countered. “Blair said Ellen said Jesus used to be a rebel, too. And I don’t understand why you’re here if this is wrong?”</p><p>April pressed her lips together. Her best friend wasn’t always oblivious, but now was the wrong time for her to gain some perspective. “To keep an eye on you, of course,” she answered, lifting her chin. “And as fellowship leader, I have to make sure all three of you return safely to the hotel.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hehehe.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Go, go, go!” Sterling laughed as soon as the doors of the elevator slid open.</p><p>Blair clicked the button of the ground floor several times, which was necessary because Sterling heard a door being unlocked further down the hall. She wasn’t ready for her adventure to end just when she warmed up to the idea of spending some time alone in the city with her sister, her girlfriend, and Hannah B who would be too oblivious to notice the spark between April and her. Sterling would bet all of the money she made bounty hunting Hannah B wouldn’t be able to tell they were together.</p><p>The four of them giggled when the elevator went down, but Sterling saw how April gripped the edges of the sleeves of her blouse and how her chest barely expanded at all before it deflated again, and how she shifted from one foot onto the other as though she couldn’t figure out what to do with her own body.</p><p>“I feel bad we didn’t invite Ezekiel,” Hannah B whispered, wringing her fingers.</p><p>“You can hang out with him some other time,” Blair replied, putting her hand on Hannah B’s shoulder, squeezing once, “this is a girls’ night out.”</p><p>Sterling held her breath when the doors swooshed open, releasing it when the lobby appeared to be empty. “So far so good,” she mused with a smile.</p><p>Blair lifted her right hand and curled her fingers into a fist. She blocked their path while glancing left and right, and then brought her arm down. It felt as if they were out bounty hunting and Blair was ready to kick down a door any minute now.</p><p>As they made a dash for the exit, Sterling grabbed Blair’s hand and April’s, and Blair used her free hand to get a hold of Hannah B’s. April didn’t shake herself free while the four of them ran outside, out onto the sidewalk, and kept going until they reached the end of the street.</p><p>Sterling felt adrenaline course through her veins and she loved every second, sharing in the laughter as it bubbled up from her chest, joined by April, who kept biting her lower lip to hide her beautiful smile. But Sterling knew it was there and catching glimpses of her girlfriend did wickedly wonderful things to her heart, and she really wanted to pull her into a kiss as soon as possible before she became too weak in the knees to keep walking.</p><p>Blair was the first to break their chain, using her hands to flag down a cab. “Yo, taxi!” she yelled with a smile so big, Sterling was happy she hadn’t rejected her sister’s idea.</p><p>This night felt like something Sterling would tell her grandchildren about someday while April would warn them about the hazards and why they shouldn’t copy what they did. Obviously, she was right because April was the wise one, the voice of reason, whereas Sterling was a bit more on the impulsive side and less inclined to consider the consequences.</p><p>Sterling pictured April on a couch by her side, snuggling underneath a quilt they knitted together, one half with perfect stitches while the other half had gaps from where Sterling dropped one. Their grandkids would sit on the floor, with a cup of homemade hot cocoa in their hands, with tiny marshmallows floating on top, which Sterling wasn’t supposed to add because April cautioned her too much sugar would keep them up past their bedtime.</p><p>Sterling imagined a fireplace keeping them all warm while snow painted the landscape outside. There were lights in their house and a Christmas tree with miss-matched decorations because the children made some at school, and they were sticky with glue and glitter but meant more than the balls Sterling bought at the store. Socks hung above the fireplace, each one with a name embroidered on them, filled with chocolates and candy canes. There were no presents under the tree, simply because April adored their grandchildren so much, she bought way too many, and they had to park their car outside so they could use their garage to store the gifts.</p><p>Their children – twin girls – sat next to their other halves and listened to their stories for the fortieth Christmas in a row, smiling at one another. Blair’s children – twin boys, Sterling guessed but definitely twins – were there as well, just like every year because it was a family tradition. Before the night’s end, they would sing songs and stare out of the window to look at the snowman they built together, with the youngest grandchild proudly announcing it was five whole inches bigger than the one they made last year. And when April smiled with her wrinkled face and greying hair, Sterling fell in love all over again.   </p><p>“Ahem,” Blair said, clearing her throat loudly. “Earth to Sterling.”</p><p>Sterling blinked. “Hm, yes?” she mumbled, bringing her focus back to the present. “Oh,” she whispered, spotting the cab.</p><p>They squeezed together in the backseat, designed for three people, but April was small so they all managed to fit. Plus, it gave Sterling the perfect excuse for April to sit on her lap, which wasn’t legal, but the driver didn’t seem to care and April voiced no complaints either. Sterling wound her arms around her girlfriend’s waist, under the guise of providing her with a seatbelt, which was a perfectly valid excuse to protect precious cargo.</p><p>“Whoa,” Hannah B breathed out, staring out of the window, not in the slightest paying attention to the gay activity near her. “Look at all the lights, isn’t it pretty?”</p><p>“Totally,” Blair agreed. “Maybe I should go to college here or like, live here.”</p><p>“Me too,” Hannah B mumbled, pressing her nose up against the window.</p><p>“Where to, ladies?” the taxi driver asked.</p><p>“Someplace that sells pizza,” Blair answered. “And take whatever road is the most scenic.”</p><p>“First time in New York?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Blair confirmed.</p><p>“In that case, I recommend Coney Island,” the driver suggested. “There’s no place better for teenagers.”</p><p>“We’re twenty-one, mister,” Blair scoffed, lying easily as if she believed it was the truth.</p><p>Hannah B gasped. “You’re twenty-one?”</p><p>The driver rubbed his beard. “My bad, miss,” he told Blair with a chuckle.</p><p>Blair face-palmed. “Thanks a lot, Bee,” she groaned.</p><p>Hannah B smiled sincerely. “You’re welcome.”</p><p>Sterling burst out in laughter, followed by April, and in a matter of seconds, all four of them were laughing, although Hannah B probably didn’t know why.</p><p>During their ride to Coney Island, April caressed Sterling’s hands with her thumbs, stopping now and then to glance at Hannah B, continuing as Hannah B kept staring out of the window to take in the scenery. Sterling held April closer, breathing her in, loving the subtle notes of lavender of the perfume she had on.</p><p>“Yummy, yummy, I want food in my tummy,” Blair sang, rubbing her hands together when they got out of the cab.</p><p>Hannah B giggled. “You’re adorable.”</p><p>“Am not,” Blair huffed. “Shush.”</p><p>“You sang in your sleep last night.”</p><p>Sterling raised a brow. “What did she sing?”</p><p>“She sang-”</p><p>“Shut up,” Blair warned Hannah B, grumbling, “or I’ll shut you up.”</p><p>“But,” Hannah B tried, sighing when Blair glared at her.</p><p>April walked ahead of them and opened the door of the pizza place. Sterling smiled and winked at her girlfriend, nodding at her to thank her for the gesture. Blair said nothing as she entered, while Hannah B verbally thanked April for the polite gesture. Sterling told herself April did it for her but had to do it for the others as well so it wouldn’t be obvious. April was a lot smoother than Sterling was when she tried to slide over the hood of her car to open the door for April. That was not one of Sterling’s brightest moments, but at least she made an attempt to be chivalrous, so it had to count for something.</p><p>They found an empty table with two soft benches in the back next to the window. The smell of freshly baked pizza in the air made Sterling’s mouth water. She licked her lips, practically tasting the first bite. Mentally, she already put her order together – a Hawaiian pizza with a side order of garlic bread because yum and a glass of lemonade – and frowned when Blair moved to sit across from her.</p><p>“Close to the window,” Blair said as if she read Sterling’s thoughts.</p><p>Hannah B brushed her hair behind her ear. “Can I sit next to you?” she asked Blair, pointing at the free space on her left.</p><p>“Course,” Blair answered with a smile. “You can sit wherever you want, Bee.”</p><p>Sterling tried not to look too happy when April occupied the last seat, right next to her, but she definitely was because, despite the fact they shared a hotel room, it was hard to be away from her girlfriend. Sterling wanted to hold April’s hand like all of the time or hug her or put her hand on her thigh, just anything that meant she could touch her.</p><p>The waiter rolled over to their table on skates. “Hiya, my name’s Harley and I’ll be serving y’all tonight,” she uttered, clicking her pen. “Can I get ya a drink?” she asked, tapping her notepad. “Oh, here’s yer menu,” she said, revealing one from underneath her notepad. “We’ve got beer, wine, soda,” she listed. “But I recommend absinthe, that one’s got a real kick.”</p><p>“We can’t drink alcohol,” Sterling replied, all too well remembering the time she did.</p><p>It didn’t taste gross or anything, but they were minors and Sterling had a strong feeling April wouldn’t like her drinking, and they couldn’t risk going back to the hotel drunk.</p><p>“I’ll have lemonade,” Blair said. “And, um, bring me some of that absent stuff you mentioned.”</p><p>“Blair,” Sterling whispered, staring at her sister with an indignant look on her face.</p><p>“What? I’m curious,” Blair responded, shrugging. “It’s not like I’ll drink a whole bottle, just a shot.”</p><p>“I do not approve of this,” April declared, straightening her back.</p><p>“Make it two,” Blair told the waiter.</p><p>“Lemonade, please,” Hannah B ordered.</p><p>“Same,” April chimed in.</p><p>“Me too,” Sterling added with a nod.</p><p>“Four lemonades and two shots of absinthe coming right up,” the waiter announced, jotting it down. “I’ll be back real soon so y’all can order food,” she said, and with that, she left to get their drinks.</p><p>Sterling rapped her fingers onto the table. “So…,” she coughed, shifting a bit until her thigh touched April’s, “I guess we do pass for twenty-one, huh?”</p><p>“I know right?” Blair grinned. “It’s totally awesome.”</p><p>“Two shots?” April bit out. “As if one isn’t bad enough-”</p><p>“One of them is for you,” Blair interrupted, “to help you relax.”</p><p>“Firstly, how dare you cut me off,” April replied, and Sterling knew April was kind of mad right now, but she was so adorable getting all intense. “Secondly, I would never.”</p><p>“Relax? Yeah, I can tell,” Blair countered, laughing.</p><p>“You are insufferable,” April muttered, releasing a deep sigh.</p><p>“Aw, you too.”</p><p>Sterling pursed her lips together and kicked Blair’s shin under the table, jumping up when it wasn’t her sister but Hannah B who yelped. Oh my, Sterling thought her aim was excellent because she was a great shot, but apparently, directions failed her tonight.</p><p>April frowned. “Han, are you okay?”</p><p>“Someone kicked me,” Hannah B whimpered.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Sterling apologized, wincing. “I didn’t mean to kick you. My leg, uh, got away from me.”</p><p>Sterling shrieked when she felt Blair kick her, right against her knee. “Hey,” Sterling complained through their twin vision. “Don’t use your athletic genes against me.”</p><p>“Oops, my leg must’ve gotten away from me.”</p><p>“Quit being mean to my girlfriend,” Sterling requested, leaving their special communication to focus back on the present.</p><p>Hannah B lifted her leg onto the seat. “It was right there,” she shared, touching her shin.</p><p>“Right here?” Blair murmured, rubbing the palm of her hand down Hannah B’s leg. “I’ll get you some ice,” Blair said with a kind smile after Hannah B nodded.</p><p>“Don’t stop rubbing me,” Hannah B requested. “It feels good,” she hummed, moaning quietly.</p><p>Sterling’s jaw dropped, so she quickly bit her lip. Meanwhile, April gaped at her friend. Sterling tried to distract herself by reading the menu, sliding it to the middle of the table so April could follow along, and ignore the weird situation.</p><p>“I, err, G-God,” Blair spluttered, and when Sterling looked up, Blair’s face was red. “I need to use the restroom. You can, um, go ahead and order for me.”</p><p>Sterling pondered if she could get away with canceling the alcohol before Blair got back without Hannah B selling her out, but that girl wasn’t capable of lying, so probably not. Besides, two shots was like a really small amount, barely half a glass. And Sterling could drink the second one so it would only be about a spoonful or three each, which was fine. How much of a kick could absinthe have anyway?</p><p>Twenty minutes later, when their pizzas and a plate of garlic bread arrived at their table, Sterling was about to find out. She took one of the small shot glasses and lifted it up in the air.</p><p>“Cheers,” Blair commented.</p><p>“Wait, wait,” Sterling rushed out. “We should take a sip first, in case it’s disgusting.”</p><p>Blair nodded. “Right.”</p><p>Sterling stared at the green liquid with questionable eyes. It looked like poison, actual poison. Although it also reminded her of Jello, if someone melted it or something, and there was nothing disgusting about that. Maybe this absinthe stuff went great with pizza, too. Plus, she was all for experiencing new things and broadening her horizon and all that jazz.</p><p>“Mhmm, tastes like black licorice,” Blair noted, smacking her lips together. “It’s a bit bitter, but I like it.”</p><p>“Can I have a sip?” Hannah B asked, glancing at Blair’s glass.</p><p>Convinced it probably wasn’t horrible; Sterling brought the liquid to her lips. Her sister was right, it did taste kind of bitter and it did remind her of black licorice, but there was something else in there as well that she couldn’t put her finger on.</p><p>“Ooh, you should try this,” Hannah B said to April, emptying the rest of Blair’s drink.</p><p>“That’s some sip, Bee,” Blair stated with an even tone in her voice. “Is there anything else you want to take from me?”</p><p>“I know that’s not a question, but the answer is yes.”</p><p>“I don’t care how cute your pout is, you’re not getting the last of my sour patch kids,” Blair responded with a huff.</p><p>Sterling held out her glass to her girlfriend. “I wouldn’t mind,” she offered. “I mean if you wanna. My lips touched this glass, so you might be grossed-”</p><p>Sterling smiled as April whisked the drink out of her hands, happy to know she wasn’t that uptight about their beliefs after all. Not that Sterling thought it was wrong April was such a good Christian who followed the rules, but seeing her girlfriend making choices that weren’t fed to them since they were toddlers parroting lines from the bible increased the love she felt for April.</p><p>And it was just one drink.</p><p>But then two because they ordered another round.</p><p>“Your eyes are p-pretty,” Sterling hiccupped.</p><p>Blair laughed. “Either you’re flirting with your reflection in the glass or with that guy with the sunglasses outside.”</p><p>Sterling squinted her eyes because it wasn’t her reflection, but April’s, and she thought they were facing one another. With a sigh, Sterling grabbed the pitcher of water April thought about ordering and lifted it up to her mouth.</p><p>“Uh, sure, Sterl,” Blair commented, “help yourself.”</p><p>Half of the water sloshed down Sterling’s chin and soaked her shirt. “Do you think they sell towels?” she wondered, putting the pitcher back down. “Hey, miss waitress!” she called out.</p><p>Hannah B dropped her head onto Blair’s shoulder. “How many twins do you have?” Hannah B questioned. “Are there three Sterling’s?”</p><p>“Okay…,” Blair mumbled. “Check, please!” she shouted, raising her hand.</p><p>“Lightweights,” April huffed.</p><p>“Um, yeah, you’ve been trying to cut your pizza for the past five minutes,” Blair responded.</p><p>April pulled up her shoulders and dropped them. “So?”</p><p>“Your plate’s empty.”</p><p>Blair leaned her shoulders against the back of her seat, hands tucked into the pockets of her black skinny jeans, except for her thumbs. Her checkered black and green flannel shirt hung open, exposing the black tank top she had on underneath, and a silver crescent moon necklace that was definitely new because Sterling had never seen it before.</p><p>“I got this,” Blair said, pushing her black beanie higher while her other hand went to her back pocket, pulling out her wallet.</p><p>“Okay, sugar daddy,” April commented with a light laugh and a shake of her head.</p><p>Blair grinned. “You know it,” she responded, adding a tip.</p><p>“Ooh, what about dessert?” Sterling suggested. “We could order a large bowl of ice cream and split it.”</p><p>“I can’t believe I forgot dessert,” Blair gasped, bringing a hand to her chest. “Speaking of splitting it, how about a banana split?”</p><p>“Without nuts, obviously,” Blair added, “because I’m all for saving the bees,” she winked at Hannah B.</p><p>Hannah B smiled and shoved Blair. “Stop,” Hannah B whispered, laughing when Blair pushed back.</p><p>Sterling shared a look with April, wishing she could telepathically interact with her to voice her excitement about Blair and Hannah B becoming friends, and also to ask April if she sensed a bit of a gay vibe, too. And to tell April she had pretty eyes.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April sat on a bench, breathing in the fresh air as she glanced up at the stars dotting the sky, which were like the ones she saw back at home, yet completely different somehow. Here in New York, she felt more relaxed and able to enjoy the little things that usually failed to brighten her day. At home, it didn’t matter what the sky looked like and whether the moon was out or not, which tonight it was, partially. The weight that rested on her shoulders and filled her shoes and lungs with lead didn’t board the plane with her.</p><p>She was cautious regardless, of course. A new city or not, April wasn’t out, so she had to be mindful of her actions, as always. The alcohol she drank tonight lowered her inhibitions, though it wasn’t strong enough to shake her principles, which were ingrained in her since she was a child. She would have to be pretty stupid to accidentally out herself, throwing all caution to the wind.</p><p>“Hey,” Sterling whispered, joining April on the bench. “Blair and Hannah B are getting cotton candy,” Sterling shared, “and then we’ll go explore Coney Island, but there’s a line so they’ll probably take a while to meet up with us.”</p><p>April flexed her fingers, exhaling a smile when her soulmate met her hand halfway. “Someday, I’ll have a heart tattooed on my ribcage along with your name,” she mused, voicing her thoughts as they appeared in her head.</p><p>“Why wait?” Sterling countered with a chuckle. “We’re in New York and I have lots of cash to spare because who needs savings when you’re young anyway?”</p><p>April rolled her lips into her mouth. It was true they weren’t home and they currently weren’t being supervised. Her phone hadn’t rung once since they left the hotel, concluding their absence went under the radar, as it should considering they were supposed to be asleep, safely tucked under their sheets behind a locked door. And nobody in New York knew April Stevens, which meant no shop owner could snitch to her parents to inform them of her purchase.</p><p>“Well,” April uttered, considering her words. “There is no time like the present, so why not?”</p><p>Sterling’s eyes grew so wide they practically bulged out of her skull. “I was kidding, babe,” she replied, shifting until her front faced April. “You’re really being serious?” Sterling questioned, tilting her head to the side. “Do you think this is the alcohol talking?”</p><p>April’s lips curled up. “I’m only drunk on you, baby,” she whispered, cupping her soulmate’s jaw.</p><p>For a split second, April forgot they were in public, with her best friend and Sterling’s moody twin soon to return to their side. April caught herself and lowered her hand before she gave in to the temptation to kiss her soulmate underneath the stars.</p><p>Sterling squealed and flung her arms forward, gripping April by the elbows in a way that was far too enthusiastic for someone who just received a reminder of how deeply in the closet her girlfriend was. April couldn’t do much else than accept what was happening and accept the embrace.</p><p>“This is wonderful news!” Sterling exclaimed, and April decided the headache from Sterling’s volume was worth it. “Do you know what this means?” she continued, smiling from ear to ear as she broke their hug. “It means we can both get one!”</p><p>“Factually, we already have one,” April pointed out.</p><p>“Yes, but I mean like, by choice,” Sterling explained, folding one leg onto the bench and swinging her other one back and forth. “I’d love to have your initials tattooed on my heart. Well, not <em>on</em> my heart, not inside my body because that’s obviously impossible and super dangerous. I mean on my chest, under my boob.”</p><p>“You want to tattoo A.S on your chest?” April commented, frowning. “Ass?”</p><p>Sterling opened and closed her mouth. “Sounds fitting, no?”</p><p>April guffawed. “I’m gonna kill you,” she laughed, smacking her soulmate on the arm.</p><p>Sterling jumped up from the bench. “I love my ass!” she declared with a grand smile.</p><p>April shook her head but smiled back regardless. Such profanity would not fly on any other night, under any circumstances, but tonight she couldn’t bring herself to care, and she started it, which wasn’t a prime example of proper manners.</p><p>Sterling twirled around, giddy and dorky, and perfectly imperfect. April didn’t want to stop looking at her. She wasn’t sure if she could when even the moon was drawn to Sterling, shining its light onto her, catching the edges of her smile with each spin. Sterling was no ballerina or balanced, for that matter, and when she sang <em>‘I love my ass’ </em>to tease April some more, it served as a reminder she couldn’t carry a tune either. But, God, April felt it in her bones how much she wanted Sterling to be her wife someday.</p><p>Someday, somewhere in the future, they could build a life together, out of the shadows. Someday, when Sterling danced, April could join her, and quite possibly get her toes stepped on, but she wouldn’t want it any other way.</p><p>“I love my ass,” Sterling continued on, wriggling her hips from side to side.</p><p>April bit her lip. Gosh, that last drink was one too many, wasn’t it?</p><p>“Loving your self-confidence, sis,” Blair grinned as she showed up with Hannah B, side by side with cotton candy larger than their heads.</p><p>April quietly cleared her throat to compose herself instead of looking like the smitten puppy she was, thanks to Sterling wrapping her fingers right around her heart.</p><p>“Shall we go explore?” Sterling asked, holding her hands out in the direction of the attractions at Coney Island as if she unveiled a statue and wanted everyone to see.</p><p>Blair ripped a piece from her cotton candy. “Mhmm,” she mumbled around the mouthful.</p><p>Sterling linked her arm with Blair’s and used the other to wave April over. She stared at Sterling until she saw Hannah B joining the chain, which gave April enough assurance it was a friendly gesture rather than a romantic one. They were just four girls on a night out, after all. There was nothing out of the ordinary and if she eagerly reached for Sterling’s arm, it was only because April was ready to get moving.</p><p>A kiosk with the letters Luna Park Ink on it stood out and for a second, April wondered whether she should set her idea into motion. While she was serious and wished to have Sterling’s name tattooed on her chest – cliché as it was to get someone’s name inked on her body – April wasn’t keen on explaining her actions to Blair and Hannah B, especially not to Hannah B, who was completely into the unknown.</p><p>April saw an arcade and over there, next to a game of Whac-a-mole, two women in their mid to late twenties, held each other as they locked lips. It wasn’t a peck or a kiss on the cheek gone wrong, but a full-blown kiss with tongue. People passed them by as they would other strangers, without a word, though some spared a smile. April had never seen anything like it in her entire life, except on screen, between actors. She found herself staring and she knew it was rude of her, but she couldn’t look away from what could be a glimpse into her future.</p><p>Perhaps, one day, she could kiss Sterling in public and it wouldn’t matter. April would happily settle for a peck if it meant she could be herself and follow her heart, although their heavily Christian-based community where everyone knew what you had for dinner last night and why you were two minutes late to church on Sunday would never approve of her <em>preferences</em>.</p><p>In retrospect, moving to a different city might offer some resemblance of a solution, and if Blair wasn’t sticking around in Atlanta, odds were Sterling wouldn’t either. April would always be a Christian at heart, for her beliefs were important to her. But she was also a lesbian, one with a soulmate and a high level of repulsion toward men.</p><p>“I wanna go in that one!” Blair exclaimed, pointing her sticky finger at the Cyclone, known as the mother of all rollercoasters. She plucked another piece from her cotton candy and stuffed the pink sugared treat in her mouth. “What do y’all say?”</p><p>“I think I ate too much pizza,” Hannah B said, rubbing her stomach.</p><p>“Sounds impossible, but okay,” Blair hummed. “Sterl? April?”</p><p>April stared at the older twin, wondering how she was still hungry. That girl had to have quite the metabolism to eat so much yet remain unfulfilled. April wished she could eat anything she wanted without gaining weight, but unfortunately, she wasn’t blessed that way.</p><p>“Like you even have to ask,” Sterling answered, rubbing her hands together.</p><p>“I’ll pass,” April decided. “Han and I shall wait for you.”</p><p>“Race ya!” Blair announced with a laugh.</p><p>“Hey, no fair!” Sterling yelled while her sister made a run for it. “We’re supposed to be inseparable, you athletic traitor!”</p><p>Hannah B chuckled as the twins hurried toward the rollercoaster. “Blair is cool,” she whispered, moving to go sit down. “Are we going to share a table with Blair and Sterling at school now?”</p><p>April blinked. “I’m not certain,” she answered, sitting down. “This night out doesn’t mean anything,” she defended, not ready to thin the lines and openly declare a friendship. “You know what they say. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”</p><p>The words stung, but this illusion of New York wasn’t going to last. Quite soon, they would be home again, where everything would return to the way it was. April would no longer fall asleep next to her soulmate, kiss her every day – well, maybe in between classes in the janitor’s closet or in Sterling’s car – and get along with her in public.</p><p>“Enemies don’t smile at each other like that,” Hannah B noted, though she said it so plainly, it sounded as if she had no idea how accurate her words were. “I like spending time with Blair,” she moved on. “She notices me.”</p><p>April opened and closed her mouth, but she wasn’t sure what to say. There was a twinge of sadness in her best friend’s voice, and she knew she didn’t always treat Hannah B with kindness, something April regretted more lately. But she could work on that.</p><p>“Perhaps sharing a table isn’t the end of the world,” April hummed. “Though you’ll be sorry if it is,” she added with a chuckle, gently nudging her best friend’s side with her elbow.</p><p>Hannah B scanned April’s face. “You’re different.”</p><p>April shifted. “Different how?”</p><p>“Your aura looks happy,” Hannah B commented, and perhaps April should take her best friend more seriously because in the past when she was sad, Hannah B noticed.</p><p>“I needed to get away from home,” April confessed. “This field trip is the breather I waited for.”</p><p>“Have you heard from your dad?”</p><p>“No, he…,” April pressed her lips together. “He stopped reaching out, as he should considering I do not care to communicate with a homewrecker.”</p><p>“I’m sorry about what happened,” Hannah B uttered with a gentle look in her eyes. “It must be hard to lose a parent and I know he didn’t die, but-”</p><p>“You’re right,” April nodded. “It’s painful.”</p><p>“Do you want a hug?”</p><p>“No,” April sighed out, gaze landing on the rollercoaster. “I’ll be okay,” she spoke in earnest, smiling as screams filled the air and her ears caught Sterling’s. Next to her laugh and the way her tongue curled around the word <em>‘please,’</em> this could make it into the top three favorite sounds April ever heard.</p><p>One day, however, even better ones would surpass those, April was sure. She had yet to hear Sterling say <em>‘I do’</em> on their wedding day and hear the voice of their firstborn child, the only person in the universe she could ever imagine loving even more than her soulmate, which she had no doubt Sterling would as well.</p><p>“My life may not be perfectly rosy,” April admitted, nodding to herself. “But I’m happy.”</p><p>“Duuuuudeeee!” Blair laughed as she came back. “Did you see us?”</p><p>“Did you see how fast we went?” Sterling chimed in. “It was all zoom – zoom,” she explained with ninja moves, waving her arms around. “And I screamed so loud! I don’t think I’ll ever scream louder.”</p><p>“We’ll see,” April whispered near Sterling. “The night’s still young. We have plenty left to discover,” April added, masking the rising blush in her cheeks with a cough. “…In Coney Island, I mean.”</p><p>“Oh, okay,” Sterling nodded, calm and unblinking. “Challenge accepted.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sterling dashed inside from the minute the door was unlocked. She flicked on the lights and exhaled a deep breath now that they were back without getting caught. Not that she was super worried about it or anything, but she knew it would stress out her girlfriend if they hadn’t pulled it off.</p><p>“My shirt is still a bit damp,” Sterling noted with a slight shiver as she took in the warmth of their room. She hadn’t realized until now just how chilly it was outside to be walking around with wet clothes due to her excitement. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”</p><p>Last Sterling checked, when a taxi picked them up at Coney Island, it was half-past eleven, so she guessed it was roughly midnight now, but she wanted to freshen up before crawling under the sheets, in case she spilled more than water down the front of her shirt or smelled bad.</p><p>“Perhaps we can both take one,” April hummed, running a hand through her hair.</p><p>“Um, there’s only one….” Sterling’s eyes widened while she looked at her girlfriend who gave her that cheeky lopsided smile. “To-together?” she stammered, and she wasn’t sure why her voice came out squeaky because it wasn’t like she was nervous or anything.</p><p>April saw her naked before and vice versa, just never from the waist down, only from the waist up. Okay, so maybe that was why Sterling’s vocal cords decided to betray her on the last night she had with April at the hotel. On top of that, Sterling was kind of kidding when she told April earlier she accepted her challenge. And while the walls didn’t strike Sterling as paper-thin, she was pretty sure they weren’t scream-proof.</p><p>Oh god, they would see each other naked, completely nude, with every tiny scar and hair exposed. Sterling breathed a sigh of relief at the thought she shaved recently and her underwear wasn’t some laughable pair of undies with hearts on it or anything equally ridiculous, but simultaneously, her heart shot up in her throat as she wondered what this meant. Could this be the night where they would go all the way? If so, Sterling wasn’t sure where to start and she doubted it was the right time.</p><p>They drank alcohol, both of them, and Sterling didn’t want April to regret it in the morning because she knew how much waiting until marriage meant to April, even if she mentioned she was somewhere on the fence. Absinthe was quite strong and most of it had probably left their system already, or at least Sterling thought so because she felt fine, but she didn’t want to leave anything up to chance.</p><p>What she had with April was too important to risk. Sterling could survive a few more years relying on her fingers and her vibrator because she knew it would be worth it in the end. But if April felt ready to take their relationship to that kind of level, they could communicate about it, soberly.</p><p>“You, uh, want to shower together?” Sterling repeated with more skepticism in her voice than she intended there to be. “And then go to sleep?”</p><p>April let out a chuckle. “That’s the idea, my love,” she answered, sauntering toward the bathroom.</p><p>“So, just a shower?” Sterling checked while she followed after her girlfriend. She gulped when April took off her purity ring. “O-or not,” Sterling managed, mouth suddenly dry.</p><p>April laughed lightly. “Breathe, baby,” she whispered, placing her hand against Sterling’s chest. “I would like to shower with you, if I may,” April explained while she stepped away. “And nothing more.”</p><p>“Oh,” Sterling breathed out, chest deflating. “That’s a pity,” she recovered with a chuckle. “I was hoping you’d ravish me.”</p><p>April grasped the hem of her shirt and smiled. “Not yet,” she winked before she began to undress.</p><p>Sterling’s jaw dropped. She gaped at her girlfriend exposing more skin with each item of clothing she dropped onto the floor, almost forgetting she was supposed to take off her clothes too. Sterling felt as though she witnessed a rare treat not meant for her eyes, yet it was. There was no doubt April’s slow pace was deliberate, driven from the desire of wanting Sterling to see her, to really look at her.</p><p>So Sterling did. While she got naked, her gaze remained fixated on her girlfriend, following the curve of her hips as April shimmied out of her pants, gasping as Sterling remembered all of those tight skirts hugging April’s butt, which had graced her figure before that lucky pair of jeans had.</p><p>It wasn’t long until they were dressed down to their underwear. April pushed one strap of her blush pink bra down her shoulder and then the other, cupped a hand behind her neck and rolled her head, humming a melody. Her bra matched her panties and Sterling snapped a mental picture before the silky material wound up on the floor.</p><p>“Born in a hurry, always late,” April sang in a mere whisper while she padded toward the shower, bare-footed and stunning, so <em>fucking</em> stunning. “Haven’t been early since…,” she trailed off while regulating the water. “Mhmm mhmm mhmm, I’m alright with a slow burn.”</p><p>Sterling placed a hand on her abdomen and looked up. “Thank you,” she breathed out with a smile, glancing down at her ink.</p><p>Gosh, the sight of April, singing and smiling tempted Sterling to steal her away and start a new adventure. They could grab a cab to Las Vegas or a plane, get married, and be done with hiding. Tonight, she saw men kissing men and women kissing women, and she wanted to have that with April. Sterling prayed really hard for a life where April would feel safe to come out.</p><p>“I wanted to kiss you tonight, in Coney Island,” Sterling blurted out as she stepped into the shower. “I’m surprised I survived keeping my lips away from yours when you were all I could think about.”</p><p>April lifted up her arms. “I struggled as well,” she sighed softly, placing her hands on the back of Sterling’s neck. “But,” April tacked on, bringing her body closer, “there is no time like the present.”</p><p>“I really adore your lips,” Sterling confessed, kissing her girlfriend on the cheek. “Both of them,” she whispered in her ear.</p><p>“Sterl!” April gasped, pulling back a few inches with a pretty blush spreading down her face.</p><p>Sterling snaked her arms around April’s waist and spun her, so her back rested against Sterling’s front. “I love how short you are,” she mused, placing her chin atop her girlfriend’s head, hugging her close. “And I love how soft your skin feels. It’s even better than my favorite blanket, like, way better, like a thousand plus one times better. And your voice, God, April, I could listen to you sing or talk forever and a day, and like several days after that.”</p><p>April let out a hearty chuckle. “I see you’re in a flattering mood tonight,” she whispered, twisting until they were eye to eye.</p><p>Well, sort of because Sterling caught April glancing at her boobs before she looked up to meet her eyes, but Sterling didn’t mind one bit. Her girlfriend was allowed to steal as many glimpses of her as she wanted, for as long as she wanted, even if it took all night. Sleep was overrated anyway, although Sterling did want to get some cuddles and wrap her arms around April until dawn.</p><p>Sterling held up her right hand. “I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,” she mused with a smile. “Amen.”</p><p>“How are you so adorable?” April uttered, leaning up on her tippy toes, pressing her lips to Sterling’s.</p><p>“How are you so beautiful?”</p><p>Sterling ran her hands down April’s body, fingers briefly touching the side of her soft boobs before moving on to her ribs, her belly button, the outlines of her tattoo on her abdomen, and her hips. Sterling stopped there and noticed a small mark where April’s skin wasn’t smooth.</p><p>“How’d you get this?” Sterling asked, touching the scar with the tip of her finger.</p><p>“Ski trip gone wrong,” April sighed.</p><p>“Does it hurt?”</p><p>“No, most days I forget it’s there.”</p><p>Sterling dropped down on one knee. “Can I?” she questioned, caressing the scar with her thumb. “Kiss your hip,” she clarified when April sucked in an audible breath.</p><p>Sterling suddenly realized how close her face was to April’s vagina and perhaps she hadn’t thought this entirely through, and Sterling kind of forgot how to breathe because everything blurred out of focus, and then she forgot how to produce words from her mouth or sound in general.</p><p>“Are you okay, baby?” April crouched down and cupped Sterling’s jaw.</p><p>“Uhuh,” Sterling answered, clearing her throat. “I’m totally gay. Okay! I’m totally okay.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When April was informed they were leaving the hotel in an hour, what she should have done was stay in her room, even though her luggage was already right next to the door, good to go. Instead, she went downstairs to the bar to get a glass of water, along with her best friends, who had nothing left to pack either.</p><p>“I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed again,” Ezekiel stated with a deep sigh. “This whole sharing a bed thing was beyond gross. When I tell you I was shocked, <em>shocked</em>.”</p><p>“The grossest,” April agreed, though truthfully it was a beautiful experience and she felt blessed she was able to hold her soulmate at night while it lasted.</p><p>“I don’t mind sharing,” Hannah B said. “I don’t like sleeping alone.”</p><p>“I’m surprised Blair hasn’t killed you in your sleep,” Ezekiel uttered.</p><p>Hannah B rested her chin in the palm of her hand. “You don’t know her,” she replied softly, looking past her friends. “She’s-”</p><p>“Always in a mood and most likely to explode for no reason?”</p><p>April sighed quietly to herself, once again disagreeing with Ezekiel. Blair was no angel, not by a long stretch, but she wasn’t as bad as people made her out to be. And Hannah B, shockingly, made a great point. Ezekiel didn’t know Blair any more than he knew the future and April was no expert either, though she knew Blair was more than a firecracker, and despite their minor argument on their night out, April had a genuine good time.</p><p>If Hannah B wished to be friends with Blair, April wanted to help get Ezekiel used to the idea, which he might if she set an example by keeping an open mind. April opened her mouth to form an eloquent opinion on the matter when she was abruptly stopped by someone joining them at their table.</p><p>“Hey, guys,” Luke said, occupying the seat next to April.</p><p>Ezekiel looked Luke up and down. “Are you lost?” he scoffed.</p><p>“Hello, Luke,” April greeted. “Did you get any shuteye last night?”</p><p>“Not really, no. I miss my mom and I thought we were leaving right now, but Coach Esposito said there’s still an hour left to get our things. If I had known we had another hour, I probably would have folded my clothes before putting them in my suitcase.”</p><p>“What’s stopping you from folding them now?” Ezekiel commented.</p><p>April didn’t want Luke to sit with them either, but on the other hand, she missed interacting with a fellow Star Wars fan, and they got along nicely before Luke got on her nerves when he asked her out a second time after she said no the first time. Perhaps April needed the move past that. She gave him the wrong idea when she flirted with him at the lock-in, so it wasn’t entirely his fault he thought he had a chance.</p><p>“Maybe we can play a game so the time goes by faster,” Luke suggested. “We can ask each other questions.”</p><p>“Ooh, I have a question,” Hannah B reacted. “Is it a sin to eat two pieces of candy when you said you’d only eat one?”</p><p>“I don’t think that counts as gluttony,” Ezekiel answered. “You’re practically a saint. Don’t worry about it, girl.”</p><p>“It depends to whom the candy belonged,” April reasoned. “If it wasn’t yours, a confession shall suffice to receive forgiveness.”</p><p>“I did tell her I’m sorry,” Hannah B shared.</p><p>April reached out to squeeze her best friend’s hand and gave her a sympathetic smile. The worst thing Hannah B would ever do was accidentally swat a fly. And while Blair seemed reluctant to share her sour patch kids, April had no doubt the moody twin had a soft side and caved as soon as she saw Hannah B’s pout.</p><p>“I have a good question,” Luke said. “If you could date anyone from Willingham, who would you pick?”</p><p>“Boy, bye,” Ezekiel huffed, dismissing the question with a roll of his eyes.</p><p>April’s eyebrows creased together. “I’m not answering that,” she stated.</p><p>Hannah B smiled. “Blair,” she hummed. “I would date Blair.”</p><p>There were signs her best friend was interested in Blair, but April ignored them and blamed it on circumstances, such as the alcohol and Hannah B’s naïve nature.</p><p>“You’re into girls?” Luke replied, once again putting his nose where it didn’t belong.</p><p>“No, I’m into people.”</p><p>Luke’s nose wrinkled. “Blair is a girl.”</p><p>“And she’s people,” Hannah B declared.</p><p>Ezekiel let out a gasp. “You’re pansexual?” he queried, smiling from ear to ear. “I love that for you.”</p><p>Luke, unable to read the room and realize it was time for him to walk away, butted in. “I think you’re into the wrong twin,” he said to Hannah B, chuckling.</p><p>April’s muscles tensed. If Luke used his second-rated brain, even if only for the bare minimum, he would realize the best time to stop talking was a minute ago, and the second-best time was right now. April didn’t like where his comment was going and frankly, it wasn’t his place to discuss someone else’s sexuality.</p><p>Hannah B tilted her head to the side. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Blair likes guys,” Luke answered, although that statement was inaccurate. He didn’t know, however, which was a good thing given his loose tongue. “Sterling is the one who likes girls.”</p><p>Oomph, there it was. He had no right to share that information. No right whatsoever. Outing someone was not okay, regardless of whichever reason drove him to open his mouth. It was deeply wrong and downright sad if this was his way to act as though Sterling didn’t break up with him for being about as interesting as licking envelopes. Any respect and shred of sympathy April had left for Luke promptly vanished.</p><p>“But Sterling is with April,” Luke added with his casual ignorance and utter lack of awareness.</p><p>At that exact moment, April found her world upside down. Her secret was exposed, thrown out without caution. She felt as though the walls closed in on her with a dozen eyes burning through her skull, glancing at a truth they weren’t meant to see. Her hands found one another under the table, nails digging into her skin, muscles tense while she tried to think of an escape. She couldn’t come out of the closet, not while she still lived at home and had another year to survive at high school after this one.</p><p>It was too soon. This had to be a nightmare, but no matter how much she pinched herself, nothing changed. April heard Luke’s words on repeat, a faint echo in the back of her mind yet so loud it warranted a headache. She dissected them piece by piece, but April realized, in the mere three seconds that went by, that she couldn’t debate herself out of this one.</p><p>Hannah B’s jaw dropped. “You’re dating Sterling??” she exclaimed, and her shocking surprise carried past their table it seemed, as Ellen, who was getting her steps in, abruptly stopped not even four feet away from them, staring as though April had grown a second head.</p><p>April’s throat tightened. She couldn’t shake her head to deny the allegation or nod to confirm its truth. Her eyes stung and she knew she had to leave. She needed to run, fast and far, and away from it all. Maybe hitchhike out of the country entirely.</p><p>The chair fell to the floor as April shoved it back. She walked the first two paces and then picked up speed without looking where she was going, due to her tears blurring her vision. She covered her face with her hands as best as she could and made it into the lobby.</p><p>April flinched when someone grabbed her arm.</p><p>“Oh shoot, sorry,” Blair said, holding up her hands. “You walked by and you seem hella upset,” she explained, lowering her hands. “What’s wrong, April?” she asked, slowly reaching out, wiping at one of April’s tears.</p><p>April’s bottom lip quivered. “Luke…,” she answered, using her sleeve to dry her eyes. “Luke outed me,” she whimpered, curling her fingers tightly against the palms of her hands, trembling while she fought desperately not to fall apart.</p><p>Ezekiel knew April was a lesbian, but she hadn’t told him about Sterling yet, and after having been <em>so</em> careful to stay in the closet, she wasn’t at all prepared to be thrown out, to have the truth about her identity laid bare. Word would spread fast and she couldn’t lose the only parent she had left in her life. She could get kicked out onto the streets for this or worse.</p><p>Blair’s eyes narrowed into thin slits, nostrils flaring. “I’m going to kill him,” she grumbled, grinding her teeth.</p><p>“No, Blair, please don’t,” April whispered, wincing at the thought. “I don’t want you to make a scene.”</p><p>“Yeah, no, of course not,” Blair nodded. “Would you like me to stay with you?”</p><p>April pressed the button of the elevator and shook her head. Blair’s offer was kind, but she wasn’t the twin April needed to see right now.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Darn, Blair was right postcards sufficed as a souvenir because Sterling couldn’t close the zipper of her suitcase. How much hands-on baggage was she allowed on the plane exactly? Perhaps she could stuff some of her shirts in her purse and whatever kind of bag she could find in the gift shop downstairs. That ought to do the trick.</p><p>Sterling grunted while she tugged at the zipper, but it refused to budge. “Ugh,” she groaned, falling down on top of her suitcase. “Where’s my girlfriend when I need her?” she exclaimed, smiling to herself as she thought about April’s muscled arms and the way they flexed when she-</p><p>“I’m right here.”</p><p>Sterling scrambled up. “April!” she responded, somewhat out of breath while she turned around. “Speak of the devil,” she mused with a chuckle.</p><p>Sterling expected her girlfriend to chide her in a playful manner for her innocent remark, but her amusement vanished quicker than snow did in the sun when she saw April’s eyes were rimmed red and the remnant of a tear lingered on her cheek.</p><p>“April…,” Sterling whispered, frowning while she approached. “Babe, what happened?”</p><p>April’s shoulders rose as she inhaled audibly. “I was at the bar with my friends when Luke joined us. He told them we are in a relationship and I think…I fear Ellen heard as well,” she explained while fresh tears escaped her eyes. “He outed me.”</p><p>Sterling’s jaw dropped. Her mind raced to process the new facts, wondering what had gotten into Luke to do such a thing.</p><p>“I don’t understand,” April uttered, and well, that made two of them. “How did Luke even…,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I don’t…”</p><p>“I told Luke I have feelings for you,” Sterling remembered, rubbing her left hand down her right arm. “He must have connected the dots,” she guessed, never having outright told him any details, but he must have figured it out.</p><p>April’s eye twitched. “It was you?”</p><p>“All I told him was that I have feelings for you, but that was before-”</p><p>“How could you, Sterl?” April said with a crack in her voice. “Do you have any idea how much this can ruin my life? You know my parents are bigots. I thought we had an understanding.”</p><p>“We do!” Sterling replied, reaching out to grasp her girlfriend’s hand, tearing up when April moved away from her. “April, please,” Sterling whispered, swallowing as the distance between them grew. “I can explain. It’s not what you think. Let me explain.”</p><p>April’s jaw tightened. “I don’t know what to think,” she responded, casting her eyes away. “I…I think I need to be alone right now.”</p><p>Tears welled up in Sterling’s eyes, watching April leave. Sterling couldn’t quite fathom what just happened. Five minutes ago, she was packing and getting ready to go back home after she had the best trip of her life and now she wasn’t sure if her girlfriend still wanted to be her girlfriend.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“There you are, April,” Ellen sighed, jogging up the steps. “I want to have a word with you.”</p><p>April forced a smile onto her face. “As you wish,” she responded, though she would rather lock herself into a room alone somewhere and scream into a pillow until she collapsed due to exhaustion.</p><p>Ellen kept on walking, so April followed her. All the while, she tried to lift up her chin, but her eyes kept finding the floor instead. There was no doubt on her mind Ellen intended to discuss the incident and the consequences April would be forced to deal with.</p><p>Ellen stopped in front of a door and unlocked it with a key. “Go on,” she encouraged, and her voice was neutral, but that was simply the calm before the storm, April was sure.</p><p>Due to a lack of chairs present in the room, April sat down on the edge of the neatly made bed. She would smooth out the wrinkles on the sheets before she left, which she hoped was soon. Every second between those four walls, waiting for the verdict, was two too many.</p><p>When Ellen didn’t speak first, or at least not fast enough for April’s liking, she took it upon herself to bring up the subject. It didn’t help how Ellen paced in front of her, exactly seven steps to one side before she walked back, stopped for a second, and walked seven steps to the other side.</p><p>“Are you going to call my mother?” April swallowed. “What Luke said isn’t – it’s not – it’s…,” she tried, fumbling to fib when it used to come to her naturally in the past, but she grew tired of lying all the time, and Luke spilled her truth for her.</p><p>Ellen quit walking then. “I know how you feel, sweetie,” she said, and it sounded a nauseating amount like pity.</p><p>“You don’t,” April disagreed, struggling to hold in her tears. “Nobody understands how hard it is to…to…”</p><p>Jesus Henry Christ, April was supposed to be a master debater, well on her way to get that trophy next year, but now she couldn’t even finish her sentences.</p><p>“I’m a lesbian,” Ellen shared out of nowhere.</p><p>April’s lips parted in a silent gasp, frowning one minute and eyes filled with a dozen questions the next. “Are you saying you won’t call my mother?” she checked, shivering slightly.</p><p>“No. Lord, heavens, no, April. Your secret is safe with me and if you ever want to talk, you can come knockin’ on my door,” Ellen answered, and she sounded sincere. “But don’t you go running off to Coney Island again,” she added with a chuckle and a wink. “You kids gave me quite a fright.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Surprise :-)</p><p>But also...oops.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sterling poked her head around the seat when she heard April’s voice among the mumbled conversations happening all around the plane. She could close her eyes and spot April in a crowd of dozens because Sterling recognized her girlfriend’s voice anywhere. April didn’t say much and mainly stared at the floor, which was unbecoming for her.</p><p>“Oh, dear, I must have mixed up the tickets,” Ellen announced with an air of chaos and a chuckle, though if her error was anything like the one she made with their hotel arrangements, it wouldn’t be a problem. “You’ll have to sit with Blair and Sterling,” she informed April while she handed her a ticket, “I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”</p><p>April arched a brow. “Are you now?” she replied in a hushed manner yet loud enough for Sterling to overhear. April accepted the ticket with a tight-lipped smile. “I suppose this shall suffice. You are our chaperone, after all.”</p><p>Sterling ducked her head when April walked past Ellen, headed her way. Despite her quick stealth, Sterling probably got caught looking, but she wasn’t spying. She was just observing, in a non-staring kind of way, purely out of interest to see what her girlfriend was up to. Sterling tried to get a read on Hannah B and Ezekiel, who sat four rows away from hers, on the left, but they were deeply immersed in a conversation and paid her no mind whatsoever.</p><p>Sterling wasn’t entirely sure if she should talk to them and try to explain, or if that would make everything even worse for April. Sterling simply wanted to fix the problem, but it wasn’t easy at all. She had no idea if Ezekiel and Hannah B were supportive or if they ended their friendship with April, although Ezekiel pretty much had rainbows shooting out of his ass. His general vibe in the way he carried himself reminded Sterling of RuPaul for some reason. They both made a pouty duck face when they had an opinion on something and Sterling would be thoroughly shocked if Ezekiel came out as straight someday.</p><p>April cleared her throat. She wrung her hands together, smiled, pursed her lips, and then smiled again like she couldn’t make up her mind. “Is this seat taken?” she asked, pointing at the empty one next to Sterling.</p><p>Well, obviously not, but Sterling understood why April was all fidgety, even though she did her best to hide it because Sterling knew her. She knew April’s chest rose a bit faster and in a more shallow way than usual whenever she was nervous, and how she carefully picked an opening to start a conversation as though she turned the words over in her head ever since they left the hotel.</p><p>“Oh, shoot,” Blair murmured. “I need to pee,” she huffed while she got up from the spot right next to the window.</p><p>“You hate using the toilet on a plane,” Sterling recalled through their twin vision.</p><p>“You drank my last bottle of water because you’re dehydrated from crying. Just talk to her.”</p><p>“What if she wants to break up with me?” Sterling gulped. Thanks to her sister’s slow scooting she had a few extra seconds to prepare and to breathe, for which she was grateful, but not even ten more seconds or ten more days could help her process the thought of April dumping her.</p><p>“She’s your soulmate,” Blair pointed out. “God literally wants you two to be together, Sterl.”</p><p>Blair was right. April was her soulmate, which had to be a positive sign Sterling wasn’t going to lose her this time. And what good was a relationship anyway if they couldn’t survive a storm here and there? They had two hours before their plane touched down, which gave Sterling enough time to explain she hadn’t sold April out.</p><p>Sterling let out a quiet exhale. “Hey,” she whispered, chancing a smile at April.</p><p>“Hi,” April responded, sparing a smile of her own.</p><p>“What was that about? Earlier, with Ellen,” Sterling wondered, staring at the ticket in April’s hand, which could have been given to anyone. Ellen made mistakes before, but this felt intentional.</p><p>“Oh, um, nothing,” April answered in a flighty manner. “Can we talk?”</p><p>It didn’t sound like nothing, but Sterling shook it away. “Yes, please,” she nodded, twisting in her seat so she could face April better.</p><p>“I-” April sighed.</p><p>“I-” Sterling said simultaneously.</p><p>April chuckled lightly. “You can go first.”</p><p>“I spoke with Luke, erm, earlier,” Sterling shared fidgeting with her fingers. “It won’t happen again and I know it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. I’m really sorry.”</p><p>Luke hadn’t meant to out anyone. He didn’t think his actions through and he hadn’t done what he did out of malice or jealousy or any of those things, and Sterling believed him, but she didn’t want to mend things with April by defending Luke. It was just a really unfortunate situation, and Sterling shouldn’t have told Luke she had feelings for April. By sharing her feelings, Luke observed the two of them more, and Sterling guessed it was hard to miss the love between April and her when someone bothered to look.</p><p>“It’s not your fault,” April expressed with a soft smile while she reached out to hold Sterling’s hand. April squeezed, smile faltering. “I shouldn’t have blamed you for his actions. I was scared, still am. My emotions got the best of me and I almost made the worst mistake of my life…again.”</p><p>Sterling felt a lump build inside her throat and swallowed. “I know you’re scared and sometimes I am too, but you’re not alone, April,” she whispered, caressing the back of her girlfriend’s hand. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to come out now because I don’t mind being in the shadows with you. And if you want me to deny we’re together, if you want me to tell your friends Luke has it all wrong then I will.”</p><p>“Ideally, I would have preferred letting them know about us myself, but I do want them to know. You need not lie to them for me. In fact, I’ve decided you can hold my hand in front of Ezekiel and Hannah B.”</p><p>Sterling’s lips parted. Her eyes watered, but she wasn’t sad or upset this time. The knowledge her girlfriend was okay with her holding her hand for her best friends to see felt like a huge leap in their relationship. This meant Sterling no longer had to keep her pinky an inch away from April’s, desperate to touch her when the four of them had a meeting, brushing April’s skin to collect whichever crumb she could.</p><p>“If…if you want,” April added, retrieving her hand. “If it’s too much…”</p><p>Sterling quickly went after April’s hand but stopped when she realized they were on the plane, and while they were rows away from everyone else, it seemed – huh, Ellen really did mess up their tickets – Sterling didn’t want to take the risk without April’s consent.</p><p>“I want to,” Sterling exclaimed. “God, April, I really want to,” she moaned, beyond tempted to cross the distance between them and claim April’s lips with hers.</p><p>“So five more minutes then?” Blair spoke awkwardly, using their twin telepathy to reach Sterling.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The ride to her house from school lasted all but ten minutes, yet to April, it felt much longer than the time she spent flying back from New York. She gave Hannah B a tight smile and a muted thanks for the lift, though aside from that, April hadn’t spoken a word to her. She didn’t much feel like interacting and she was quite tired. Hannah B, on the other hand, tried to have a conversation, but it all sounded blurry in April’s head, as if it were background chatter in a crowded room twisting into a cocktail with too many ingredients to be able to list a single one of them.</p><p>“Should I pick you up on Monday or-” Hannah B asked, but the rest of what she said got drowned out when April shut the door.</p><p>April pulled her luggage along, sore from the weight she had to carry inside, the kind that didn’t consist of clothes or anything material. She breathed in while she twisted the key in the lock, reminding herself she made her peace with Sterling, thanks to Ellen’s blessed heart pushing her in the right direction. April needed that spark of hope to counter her fear word traveled or was bound to.</p><p>Hidden things never remained so.</p><p>“Oh good, you are home,” April’s mother said. “How was your field trip? Did you have a good time?”</p><p>“It was…,” April rolled her lips in her mouth. “Educational.”</p><p>April headed for the stairs in the hopes her answer sufficed for now. It was quite a journey, surely her mother knew she needed rest. That was all she needed, simply a moment to recover. April could properly address the topic later when she was in a better headspace.</p><p>“I need you to take out the garbage and empty the dishwasher.”</p><p>April released a deep sigh. “Can’t I do it in an hour?” she blurted out, putting her suitcase down. “I’m-”</p><p>Every muscle in her body tensed, eyes round and frightened while April remembered her place. She was taught to be obedient and polite, so if her mother asked her to get something done, it wasn’t a question but a demand. Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth, throat tight as she braced herself for the shockwave now that she didn’t pay attention to the fence in front of her.</p><p>The last time April rebelled to request she get things done at her pace, her father sent her to her room without supper. All in all, it wasn’t that bad, but in lieu of recent events, she couldn’t deal with a conflict with her mother being added to the pile. April reached her limit and while Sterling swore up and down Luke learned his lesson and wouldn’t tell anyone else, April wasn’t convinced.</p><p>Luke wasn’t her only concern. Hannah B knew and could expose her, although April felt she needed to give her best friend a bit more credit than assuming she was too naïve to keep a secret. Ezekiel came out a while ago and Hannah B hadn’t spilled the beans to anyone.</p><p>“Okay, sweetheart,” April’s mother uttered with a gentleness that brought April to the brink of tears.</p><p>Despite her mother’s understanding, April’s automatic reaction was to flinch. She had to blink a couple of times to ensure she heard her mother correctly. What was deemed disobedient in the past, appeared to be of no issue now. Her father would have berated her, if not for her unwillingness to see to the tasks immediately, then for her snappy tone.</p><p>“Thanks, mom,” April managed to say after a prolonged silence. “I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too,” April’s mother retorted as she picked up the basket April failed to notice before. “If you have any laundry, leave it on the table,” her mother instructed.</p><p>“I do have some,” April uttered with a nod. “And, mom,” she called out before her mother walked away, “how about I make us something to eat tonight?”</p><p>“Well, alright, sweetheart. I’ll take care of dessert.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling hoisted her suitcase up on her bed with a quiet groan. She kind of wanted to go back to New York, to the hotel room she shared with her beautiful girlfriend, where they could be together at night. It was strange she wouldn’t have April’s body next to hers tonight.</p><p>“How was your last night at the hotel?” Sterling questioned, smiling at the memory of Coney Island. “Did you get any sleep?”</p><p>“Bee and I didn’t get much sleep, but I don’t mind.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“We stayed up like half of the night talking, which is weird because I’m not much of a talker and she’s usually super quiet because she’s kind of a wallflower or shy or whatever, but it just happened naturally. Time literally flew by and we talked about all sorts of things, like how she can’t watch Bambi because it makes her sad. And then we got to talking about hunting, and she totally agreed with me how cruel and unnecessary it is to kill animals for sport. She’s a lot smarter than people give her credit for. Like, she has this layer, underneath her naïve appearance, but she’s not used to expressing her opinion – which is a shame because she has a lovely voice and could make reading from the phone book sound like poetry. Poetry, Sterl – and I told her she should speak her mind more often. But anyway, New York was great, and Bee’s a good roommate. If we somehow all end up going to the same college, I wouldn’t mind sharing a room with her again.”</p><p>“Wha…,” Sterling whispered, moving her eyes side to side while it dawned on her. “Um…Oh. Wait, do you like her?”</p><p>“Who wouldn’t?” Blair replied, tugging at the zipper from her suitcase. “She’s really sweet, she’s practically an angel.”</p><p>“No, like…<em>like</em> – like her,” Sterling clarified, mouthing each word very clearly this time.</p><p>With a sigh, Blair turned her back toward her bed. “Okay, don’t freak out,” she uttered, holding up her hands.</p><p>Sterling frowned. “Why would I freak out?” she questioned, thinking how it was no secret they were both interested in girls, although Blair was still stuck in a place of uncertainty to the last of Sterling’s knowledge.</p><p>“She kissed me.”</p><p>Sterling’s eyes went round. “I thought you said sweet isn’t your type!?” she exclaimed, voice raised purely on account of her surprise.</p><p>“She…kissed…me,” Blair repeated, slower. “We were talking and laughing, and I pushed her, and then she pushed back and she kissed me.”</p><p>“Oh, God,” Sterling gasped, moving over to sit on her sister’s bed, tugging at her hand for Blair to sit too. “Then what happened?” Sterling asked, staring directly at her sister, all the while holding her breath.</p><p>“Not much, really,” Blair sighed. She ran a hand through her hair and pushed it to the other side. “She caught me off guard, so I didn’t kiss her back. I just told her I needed to think and then we played some fruit ninja on my phone,” she explained with a shrug of her shoulder. “I think it’s hot she made the first move though, didn’t know she had it in her.”</p><p>Sterling opened and closed her mouth, but decided to give it a rest for now. On the inside, however, she screamed at the thought of her sister dating Hannah B, and the double dates they could have. That trip to Coney Island could have taken a different turn if Hannah B had kissed Blair sooner because they did look chummy. Sterling smiled and perhaps a prayer wouldn’t hurt to help those two dummies get there.</p><p>“Sometimes people surprise us,” Sterling voiced in an afterthought.</p><p>Sterling sure was shocked when April locked the door to kiss her back all those moons ago. They were enemies then, so Sterling believed April would get like really mad and hate her even more, but instead they became soulmates.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Get in, loser.”</p><p>April sighed at the older twin. She could walk home or catch a ride with her mother. There was no need for her to get in a car with Blair, who quite frankly, was a road maniac. April saw Blair drive plenty of times to know she shouldn’t have a driver’s license, but despite her reasonable reservations, April obliged.</p><p>“Yes?” April ventured, arching a brow while she fastened her seatbelt.</p><p>“Remember when you mentioned the baseball bat?”</p><p>April’s heart jumped into her throat. “I was kidding,” she clarified, which she thought was obvious because she wasn’t physically violent.</p><p>The worst April had done in regards to lashing out aside from with her words was by grabbing someone’s arm, though she always let go as soon as her actions dawned on her. She got angry at Sterling at the debate and there were other situations before that one where April wrapped her fingers around someone’s arm or wrist, but never with the intention to leave a mark. Her father might have been on board with beating up people, but April wasn’t.</p><p>She hated what he did and while she wanted to scream at him, April would never use a baseball bat or any other weapon to express her anger. Despite the vile insults people flung at her, mostly behind her back, she wouldn’t stoop that low.</p><p>“I’m not a monster,” April spoke up, swallowing down the bad taste in her mouth. “I’m <em>nothing</em> like him,” she all but spat, resenting the idea in its entirety.</p><p>“I know,” Blair nodded, at which April relaxed slightly. “And I know you have a lot of anger and stuff,” Blair uttered while she unlocked her car. “But I need you to bottle it up for like half an hour longer and then you can let it all out.”</p><p>“Our destination better not be a cliff,” April warned, fingers gripping the seatbelt as if her life depended on it because it just might. “I’ve taken enough leaps this year,” she added with a nervous chuckle.</p><p>Blair twisted the keys, grinning as the engine hummed to life. “I use humor as a defense mechanism, too,” she shared, fastening her seatbelt.</p><p>April gasped at the way Blair dissected her vulnerability, seeing right through her. “Well,” April replied, holding herself together, “I would joke about your attempt at driving, but you said half an hour, so frankly there isn’t time.”</p><p>“You have some nerve dissing me while I’m behind the wheel,” Blair scoffed, but then she smiled. “That cliff sounds tempting now.”</p><p>“And for the record,” Blair added, “I have zero parking tickets and only like two tickets for speeding.”</p><p>April arched a brow. “I feel safer already.”</p><p>Blair huffed out a laugh. “You’re such an insufferable bitch,” she commented, toying with the radio, and April considered calling her out for her bad language, but Blair sounded amused and April didn’t want to ruin whatever this was supposed to be.</p><p>Half an hour later, Blair guided April inside of a poorly lit building where yellow wallpaper peeled off the walls. There was a lingering scent of beer and wine, and April was about to book it when they walked up to the front desk, where she saw a gun and a baseball bat.</p><p>“Here,” Blair said as she handed April the baseball bat. “And you’ll need one of these, too,” Blair added, retrieving a pair of goggles from behind the desk.</p><p>“Why did you bring me here?”</p><p>Blair waved her hand. “You’ll see,” she answered, fetching another pair of goggles.</p><p>April squeezed her fingers around the cold metal base of the bat while she followed Blair through the narrow hall, into a back room. The lights there were no brighter than the rest and the wallpaper was the same, but what caught April’s eye the most was the short tables of varying sizes, with glasses and vases placed on top of them.</p><p>“Go on,” Blair encouraged, “let it all out.”</p><p>April tapped the side of a vase in front of her like she would if she prepared to pot a golf ball and took a tentative swing, tensing as the glass cracked.</p><p>“Hmm,” Blair hummed. “Come here, I’ll show you.”</p><p>Blair moved to stand behind April and covered her hands with hers. “Take a deep breath in,” Blair instructed. “Loosen your hips, relax.”</p><p>April sucked in a breath, though her body refused to let go of the tension in her shoulders.</p><p>“This is a safe space, April,” Blair whispered. “You can let go.”</p><p>April gripped the baseball bat to the point of aching and swung it at full force, screaming while the vase splintered upon impact. She moved on to the next one and the one after that, clearing the entire table, smashing everything to bits before approaching the next table.</p><p>“I hate you!” April yelled. Tears filled her eyes, but she didn’t care. “You’re not my father anymore! Why did your marriage mean so little to you? How could you?”</p><p>“That’s it,” Blair said while she squeezed April’s shoulder, “just breathe.”</p><p>“Go to hell!” April screamed.</p><p>April didn’t stop until she finished destroying everything. Her chest heaved as she dropped the bat and took off her safety goggles.</p><p>“Better?” Blair inquired.</p><p>April nodded. “Thank you, Blair,” she breathed out, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. “For what it’s worth, you’ve got a friend in me.”</p><p>“I’m not that desperate for a friend,” Blair quipped.</p><p>April chuckled and shook her head. “Shut up,” she responded with a smile. “You like me. I can tell.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Blair sighed, reaching out a hand. Her eyes softened considerably so as she tucked a stray lock of April’s hair behind her ear. “I guess I do,” Blair confessed, staring intently, eyes flicking down to April’s lips.</p><p>April gulped. “Blair…,” she whispered, stepping back, catching the older twin’s hand.</p><p>“Oh my God, you should see your face right now,” Blair laughed, pulling her hand away. “I was kidding.”</p><p>“Great, my sister in law is a demon.”</p><p>“True,” Blair agreed, throwing her arm around April’s shoulders, “but don’t look at me. You’re the nerd who wants to be friends and who quoted a cheesy song.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hehehe ;)</p><p>I'm just messing with y'all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Mom, dad, I’m bisexual. There, I said it – it, it’s out.”</p><p>Sterling wrung the cap of her pen. “So, um, yup,” she concluded in a whisper, after which she bit her bottom lip and slowly released it from between her teeth. </p><p>She gripped her pen and moved it back and forth between her pointer finger and her middle finger. Sterling felt her heartbeat accelerate, worsened by her attempt to level her breathing. Maybe her approach wasn’t the right one. It sounded better in her head, before she spoke, although it pretty much carried the essence of what she wanted to share.</p><p>“No,” Sterling sighed. She pinched the bridge of her nose, eyes shut for a second. “Scratch that,” she mumbled, bringing her pen down to her notebook. “Okay, focus.”</p><p>Sterling lifted her chin. “I can do this,” she told her reflection in her bathroom mirror. “I <em>want</em> to do this,” she nodded while a careful smile graced her face.</p><p>“Mom…dad, I need to tell you something,” Sterling practiced, repeating the lines she wrote down before church today.</p><p>Sterling missed a sounding board, someone to help her get it together the way she would prepare for a debate, but her girlfriend wasn’t aware she planned on coming out. She sort of didn’t get the chance to talk to April because Blair mentioned she would invite April to hang out, just the two of them, for some friendly bonding as Blair had called it, which was a good thing. Sterling wanted her two favorite people in the whole wide world to get along and she loved her sister for putting in the effort.</p><p>She could inform April later, of course, and Sterling imagined she would be supportive of her decision. Sterling needed her parents to know what was in her heart, but she would stick to letting them know she was bisexual, without mentioning she and April were together. That part was private and Sterling wouldn’t disclose that information without April’s explicit consent. No, this was Sterling’s journey and she really needed her parents to be okay with it because she wanted to marry April someday.</p><p>They were soulmates. April was always going to be the one, forever and ever, on earth and later in heaven. But Sterling didn’t want to resort to mentioning such things to defend her sexuality because there was nothing wrong with being gay. And it would break her heart if her parents couldn’t accept that.</p><p>Sterling picked up her phone and sent her sister a text, to ask where she was and to tell her she needed her. Facing her parents on her own seemed fine before, but for some silly reason, her hands were all sweaty and she felt a little light-headed. Sterling laughed at the irony of how much she wanted to scream her feelings for April off of the rooftops before, and now here she was, sweating buckets just to tell the people who raised her she was bisexual.</p><p>“I’ve been so stupid,” Sterling told her mirror, shaking her head with a wry chuckle. “April was right, this is scary.”</p><p>Sterling’s phone buzzed. ‘I’m on my way,” she read after unlocking it, “dropping your chipmunk off now.”</p><p>“What…,” Sterling whispered with a frown. “Chipmunk?”</p><p>Frowning deeper, Sterling typed out a response to ask for an explanation, and when Blair blamed it on April’s cheeks, Sterling couldn’t do anything but agree. April was beyond a shadow of a doubt so adorable she was to die for.</p><p>Sterling burst out laughing when Blair sent her a picture of Dave from Alvin and the chipmunks yelling ‘Aaaaaapril’ instead of ‘Aaaaaalvin.’ Okay, Sterling saw why that was kind of accurate and chipmunks were adorable and so was April, so the math panned out. Sterling wondered if she should change her girlfriend’s name in her contacts to add a chipmunk emoji, although she didn’t think her phone had one of those, but she had a squirrel and that was basically the same animal anyway.</p><p>By the time Blair came home, Sterling had almost forgotten why she was so nervous. With a deep sigh, she fell into her sister’s open arms.</p><p>“I’m scared,” Sterling whispered, gulping in air, but she was positive she wanted to go through with this. “And not first grade Halloween scared when Mrs. Applebroix lost her dentures and we thought she turned into a zombie and wanted to eat us, or fifth grade scared when I got my first kiss with Luke and vomited all over his shoes because I ate too much candy and I thought he was going to break up with me.”</p><p>Blair chuckled dryly. “You puking on him totally made up for you having your first kiss two years before I got mine,” she uttered while patting Sterling’s back.   </p><p>“I’m scared like…the thought of never seeing you again kind of scared,” Sterling confessed with a shuddering breath. She felt her sister hugging her tighter and did the same, thankful Blair came to her rescue when she was kidnapped by that lunatic.</p><p>“But I’m also excited,” Sterling added. “Does that make sense?”</p><p>“Yeah, it does,” Blair nodded. “New things are scary and thrilling, and it’s this crazy whirlwind of emotions that kind of sweeps you up and you’re not sure if you’re going to land right, but if you let it, you just might end up right where you’re supposed to be.”</p><p>“Exactly, that’s what I meant,” Sterling expressed with a smile. “Ugh, you totally get me. Please never leave me.”</p><p>“I would never,” Blair stated, placing a hand on her heart. “You’re everything to me. You’re practically my soul sister. It’s like the universe wanted us to be twins so bad, we found a way to communicate telepathically. I’ll be with you until I die, which will be like a minute before you do.”</p><p>“No way, you were born first so I get to die first,” Sterling huffed.</p><p>“I entered this world without you and now you expect me to watch you die too?”</p><p>“Die together when we’re a hundred years old?” Sterling offered, holding out her hand.</p><p>Blair nodded. “I can live with that,” she answered, shaking Sterling’s hand.</p><p>“I’ll have to survive coming out first though,” Sterling commented with a chuckle.</p><p>After practicing her words one last time and emptying a glass of water, Sterling gathered her parents in the family room. She stood in front of the couch, with Blair by her side, present to offer her moral support. Sterling slowly breathed in and out, rehearsing her lines mentally while she hoped for the best.</p><p>“I like boys,” Sterling started with a certain nod. That much was obvious and easy to share. “A-and,” she continued, holding her sister’s hand, exchanging a meaningful look with her. “I like girls.”</p><p>“And- and before you say anything,” Sterling blurted out in a quick rush, “I was born this way and just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I can still marry a guy or choose to only be with guys because I can’t ignore who I am any more than you can suppress the need to breathe.”</p><p>“I’m bisexual,” Sterling reaffirmed.</p><p>Sterling squeezed Blair’s hand so tightly it surprised her Blair didn’t tell her to loosen up. It had to hurt, considering it did for Sterling, but her sister was her anchor right now and she needed to remain tethered. She had to hold on, to keep herself upright.</p><p>Meanwhile, her parents looked at one another, almost as though they could communicate telepathically, but it was just that silent interacting thing couples did when they were together for many, many years. It was a bit gross, although elderly people in love had a certain charm, and Sterling smiled warmly at the fact her parents still had that spark in their eyes like they just fell in love for the first time.</p><p>“We know, sweetheart,” her mother announced with a soft sigh. “Dana called.”</p><p>“Your mother and I know you’re seeing that Stevens girl,” her father said. “Now, her family might have made mistakes, but she’s a good girl, real polite and smart, too. And we don’t judge people based on their relatives.”</p><p>“You know!?” Sterling responded, wide-eyed. “But…but that was so many weeks ago and you didn’t say…Why didn’t you tell me? How are you so calm? Aren’t you mad or disappointed or…or wishing you didn’t adopt me?”</p><p>“If they disown you, they’ll have to disown me too,” Blair hushed while she grabbed Sterling’s hand tightly in hers, “I have your back, sis.”</p><p>Sterling responded with a smile and a soft squeeze.</p><p>“Oh, honey, we would never wish such a thing,” their mother sighed while she reached out. “And you could never disappoint us, neither one of you,” she said as she pulled Sterling and Blair into her arms.</p><p>“We love you no matter what,” their father chimed in. “It don’t matter if you want to marry a man or a woman, or wear one of dem suits, as long as I can walk you down the aisle.”</p><p>“Hey, uh, since you’re so chipper and all,” Blair spoke up. “Guess what?”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April’s fingers danced against the cotton fabric of her blouse while she thought about the soulmate mark on her abdomen. It was peculiar, how it appeared magically, and frankly put painfully as well, and why it was such a rare phenomenon. She had no idea why some were deemed worthy enough while the majority wasn’t, although she wouldn’t call herself worthy. It was a blessing, of that she was sure, but April realized she never spoke much of it with Sterling, and she certainly never brought it up to her friends.</p><p>Hannah B hummed a melody while she unpacked her lunch as if it was Friday with the weekend right around the corner, instead of Monday with the school week ahead of them. Ezekiel, on the other hand, checked out a new guy who transferred from Boston, smack dab in the middle of the year. The guy was introduced this morning, but April was sketching Sterling, so she didn’t catch his name.</p><p>“You haven’t said much since we left New York,” Ezekiel noted, shifting his gaze toward April. “I saw Ellen was looking for you,” he added with a grimace. “Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>“I’m fine,” April reassured her friend. “Ellen…supports me. She’s an ally.”</p><p>“You know where to find me if there’s anything on your mind.”</p><p>“I’m going to invite Sterling and Blair to sit with us,” April announced, and that was the only warning she gave her best friends before waving the twins over.</p><p>Hannah B fell silent and looked up. “Do I have something between my teeth?” she asked, pressing them together.</p><p>“No, girl,” Ezekiel answered with a smile. “You look fabulous.”</p><p>Hannah B’s lips curled up. “They’re coming,” she all but squealed. “What should I say?”</p><p>Ezekiel grinned. “I can’t believe y’all want to bang our former enemies.”</p><p>“I never hated Blair,” Hannah B responded. “I thought she was too scary and intimidating to approach, but then we spooned in New York and-”</p><p>“Hold up. You’re telling me the Grinch spooned with you? Girl, that’s gay. I bet she wants to travel south next.”</p><p>Hannah B wrinkled her eyebrows. “To Brazil?”</p><p>April shook her head at Ezekiel. “She’s not entirely wrong,” April reasoned, but her attention drifted away from the topic when Sterling waved back at her, gosh what a cute doofus.</p><p>April’s heart danced loops inside her chest as her soulmate got up from her usual table to walk over to hers. “Be quiet and behave,” she insisted in a harsh whisper. “I mean you, Ezekiel. Do not embarrass me or I will send out photos of you at that Harry Styles concert getting your stomach signed last summer when you claimed you were at the theater to watch the Sweeney Todd play.”</p><p>Ezekiel gasped. “You swore you’d take that to the grave and I saw Sweeney Todd the next night,” he muttered, zipping his mouth shut with his fingers.</p><p>“Hey, Sterling,” April greeted, smiling up at her soulmate. “Hey, demon,” she addressed Blair, smile faltering slightly at the memory of Blair tricking her, though not disappearing entirely.</p><p>In those few breathless seconds after breaking glass with a baseball bat, when Blair tucked her hair behind her ear, April believed the older twin had hidden feelings for her. It was a shocking discovery that sent her reeling and in hindsight, she should have known Blair was simply messing with her. But before Blair started laughing and confessed she was kidding, April feared the whole ordeal would cause a rift between the twins. Thankfully, it was nothing more than a misplaced joke.</p><p>April couldn’t begin to think what she would have done if Blair had been serious. God no that would have been horrible. April hated the thought of being caught in a tug war between Blair and Sterling, one which wouldn’t end well. Luckily, that wasn’t happening.</p><p>Blair snorted. “Hey, loser,” she retorted while Sterling frowned.</p><p>“Hi,” Hannah B sighed dreamily, staring up at Blair.</p><p>“Oh, hey, Bee,” Blair said, plopping down in front of Hannah B, “want some of my grapes?”</p><p>“Um, hey – hi,” Sterling finally spoke, moving toward April, pausing two feet away from her. “Hello,” Sterling mumbled, eyes flitting at the empty space next to her sister and the one next to April.</p><p>April inhaled as deeply and as quietly as she could, slowly releasing the breath from her lungs. “I saved you a seat,” she told Sterling, patting the space next to her.</p><p>Sterling broke out of her stupor and moved to sit next to April with a sweet smile on her face, but despite April vocalizing she was welcome at her table, Sterling didn’t make the first move to hold hands. Her posture was rigid, tense, while she stared straight ahead, except for the brief glances in April’s direction that didn’t seem to last more than a second at a time if that.</p><p>April understood, however. It wouldn’t be the first time for her to be all in only to scramble back because she changed her mind. That wasn’t the case today, but she didn’t blame Sterling for walking on eggshells, for worrying her lower lip between her teeth.</p><p>“Have you ever been to Brazil?” Hannah B asked Blair.</p><p>“Brazil?” Blair responded. “No, why?”</p><p>“Girl, hush,” Ezekiel muttered at Hannah B. “So, Blair,” Ezekiel coughed when Blair looked at him weirdly, “what do you think of the new guy?”</p><p>“Looks like an outcast,” Blair answered, sparing the new guy a glance. “I wonder why he transferred here. I think I’ll go welcome him later.”</p><p>“I can go with you,” Hannah B offered. “We could show him around.”</p><p>“Sure why not,” Blair nodded. “I like your nail polish by the way. Pink suits you.”</p><p>April moved to sit a bit closer to her soulmate while their friends talked. At the start of this year, she couldn’t have imagined this ever happening. But here they were and it was as real as the ink on her skin and the breath in her lungs.</p><p>April reached for Sterling’s hand and didn’t let go until their lunch break was over. It was subtle, under the table, although April noticed Ezekiel winking at her, and instead of it triggering April’s flight response, she smiled at their new normal.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling lied on top of her stomach on her bed, elbows propped up, wriggling her legs back and forth while she was entranced by The Gravity Between Us. The words seemed to float away from the pages and swirled through her head, sucking her into the book. Maybe it was the fact she never read a story about a woman falling in love with another woman before, or maybe it was the fact April handed it to her with a fluttering kiss on her cheek and the knowledge April’s fingers touched every page.</p><p>In the background, there was a muted harmony of drums and electric guitars, which came from the Walkman Blair purchased at a pawn shop somewhere. She mouthed along to the music while moving her drumsticks against her pillow. Sterling didn’t see the purpose of buying those when Blair didn’t have any drums, but Blair set her mind to it and bought them anyway.</p><p>The music quieted further when Sterling heard something else. She closed her book, got out of bed, and stirred Blair’s shoulder.</p><p>With a deep sigh, Blair put her Walkman and her drumsticks aside. “What?”</p><p>Sterling tilted her head to the side, hearing the noise again. “Do you hear something?”</p><p>“Yes, I heard you say <em>‘do you hear something’</em>,” Blair answered in a dry tone, shrugging a shoulder. “It’s probably a raccoon, digging through our garba-” she stopped when something hit their window. “Or not,” she backtracked, getting up from her bed.</p><p>Sterling followed suit and grabbed her pillow. With a nod, Blair unlocked the window and pushed it up. The noise turned out to be pebbles because one of them missed Sterling’s face by a hair. She tossed her pillow onto the ground, ready to give the rude person throwing them an earful, halting when she saw them.</p><p>“Is that…?” Sterling whispered, frowning.</p><p>“Hannah,” Blair filled in.</p><p>“Hi, Blair!” Hannah B shouted.</p><p>“Oh, hey, Bee!” Blair yelled back. She propped her elbows up on the ledge. “What, uh…,” she said while toying with a lock of her hair. “What’ cha doing here?”</p><p>“I wrote something for you!”</p><p>Hannah B unfolded a chair and positioned herself on it with her guitar. Meanwhile, Sterling grasped the back of Blair’s shirt to keep her from leaning too far out of the window, while also staring down at Hannah B and perking her ears.</p><p>“Wait,” Blair mumbled, “is she serious? Oh shoot, yep, there she goes.”</p><p>Hannah B strummed her guitar and then she sang.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You look so pretty up there</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can’t help but sit here and stare</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Missing the warmth of your skin</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh New York what a trip it’s been</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But last night I saw you in my dream</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eating banana split ice cream</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I’ve been meaning to ask thee</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will you take a chance on me?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I’ve liked you for a while</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You have such a beautiful smile</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your eyes have this spark</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The kind that lights up the dark </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope you know that it does </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I’ve noticed because </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You look so pretty up there</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can’t help but sit here and stare</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Hey, I know that sound,” Blair stated with a grin. “It’s the one from 10 things I hate about you.”</p><p>“Oh, you’re right,” Sterling remembered, nodding. “You made me watch it like a dozen times because you said it’s the best movie ever made.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re welcome for that by the way,” Blair retorted.</p><p>“Damn,” Blair sighed, breathing out. “I told Bee a lot of stuff I like, back in New York. I didn’t think she’d remember, but she must have.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I want to kiss you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And hold you tight</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What I’m saying is true</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because this feels right</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I think about you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Every night and day</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know this is new</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And if you need time it’s okay</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh I like you </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I don’t know if you’re gay</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I didn’t quite think this through</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But just let me say…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>You look so pretty up there</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Can’t help but sit here and stare</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Missing the warmth of your skin</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh New York what a trip it’s been</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But last night I saw you in my dream</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eating banana split ice cream</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I’ve been meaning to ask thee</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will you go out on a date with me?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sterling smiled at the highly romantic gesture. She wanted to shake her sister and squeal at her to tell Hannah B yes, but she had no idea if Blair liked Hannah B like that, although Sterling did sense a strong gay vibe. Plus Blair was fickle when it came down to romance, but she did melt at those grand gestures in movies, so perhaps this was just perfect. </p><p>Hannah B lowered her guitar. “In case it wasn’t obvious yet, I like you!” she shouted. “And that’s why I kissed you when we shared a bed!”</p><p>Blair’s cheeks burned bright red. “Um,” she whispered, clearing her throat before facing Sterling, “do you think there’s a chance mom and dad fell asleep in front of the tv and didn’t catch any of that?”</p><p>Sterling cringed. She had forgotten all about their parents until now. “Not unless that’s Dana poking her head through the curtains instead of mom,” she answered with a bated breath. “Good thing you came out, huh?”</p><p>“I think a little bit too much came out here, Sterl. I bet mom thinks you forked April.”</p><p>Sterling gasped. “I did not fork her.”</p><p>“I need to text Bee and tell her to leave,” Blair sighed while she snatched up her phone. “I can’t deal with this with mom and dad looking over my shoulder.”</p><p>Sterling cleared her throat. “Hey, Blair.”</p><p>Blair tapped away on her phone. “Mhmm?” she hummed without looking up.</p><p>“Do you have feelings for Hannah?”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fun fact, I originally wrote a completely different song. But I couldn’t find a matching melody, so I chose a song and wrote new lyrics. That part of the chapter took me longer than the rest, I think. </p><p><a>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CopIPkfNqxM</a>  The lyrics are based on this song, in case you're curious.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Grab a blanket before you read this chapter. </p><p>~Warning; violence.~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Bowser gave a speech about hygiene and the importance of wearing the proper attire to serve yogurt, Sterling was pretty sure he was talking to Blair directly, and that it included not bringing rats inside the shop. Sterling frowned as her sister put the caged creature down on the counter, hoping she didn’t find it in an alley somewhere or stole it from a lab, although the latter was a perfectly reasonable excuse to save a rat.</p><p>“Almost home, little buddy,” Blair whispered with a wink.</p><p>“Are you trying to get grounded?” Sterling commented with a sigh. “You know mom hates rodents because they carry diseases.”</p><p>“Relax, Sterl,” Blair responded while she opened the door of the cage. She reached inside for the tiny critter with a smile on her face and then held up a cute little ball of light-grey fur covered with bits of hay. “It’s just a hamster and I didn’t adopt him for myself.”</p><p>Sterling gasped. “Is it Bowser’s birthday?” she questioned because she had no idea when his birthday was and his nephew might have told Blair before they split up, and Sterling should have gotten a notification or something so she wasn’t empty-handed.</p><p>Ooh, maybe she could buy him a coupon or something like that online. Sterling could think of several things Bowser needed to make his apartment homier, like a fresh coat of paint, some new furniture, a hamper so he could use that instead of throwing his dirty laundry in a carton box, pots and pans, and sheets that didn’t look like he got them at a hospital somewhere or recycled his curtains.</p><p>“Bowser doesn’t have a birthday,” Blair answered. “Old people don’t celebrate being one year closer to death,” she said while she put the hamster back in his cage.</p><p>“Huh,” Sterling whispered, blinking twice.</p><p>They had known Bowser for eight months, so either his birthday already happened and he didn’t say anything or it was coming up soon. Sterling could ask Yolanda, she would know, and then Sterling could arrange a spa day for two so Bowser would work up the courage to ask Yolanda out. With a bit of scheming and help from Blair, Bowser and Yolanda would finally be together.</p><p>“It’s a gift for Bee,” Blair shared, chewing her lip. “What she did last night took a lot of guts and if I’m being honest, I do like her. At first, I thought she was just sweet and soft, but she’s more than that, and anyone who has the balls to show up at my window and publicly declare they’re into me, deserves a chance. So, um, yeah, I’m going to ask her out.”</p><p>“Oh my gosh, Blair!” Sterling shouted, smiling from ear to ear.</p><p>After Hannah B’s grand gesture last night, Sterling worried Blair was frustrated or angry. And it didn’t help their parents brought Hannah B’s concert up at breakfast this morning, though they dropped it fast when Blair stuck to non-verbal responses like shrugging her shoulder and rolling her eyes.</p><p>“You’ll have to go bounty hunting without me,” Blair announced. “But you can text me if you need help and I’ll totally be there.”</p><p>“I’ll be fine on my own,” Sterling replied without missing a beat. “It’s an easy skip. You go get your girl.”</p><p>There was no way Sterling was going to ruin another one of Blair’s dates because she still felt guilty about the time she didn’t show up when Blair had a date with Miles. And Sterling didn’t want to give her sister an excuse not to go. Bounty hunting was something she could totally do solo. She hadn’t before, but the skip Bowser trusted to them was a shoplifter in his late seventies, so Sterling could catch him in her sleep if she wanted to.</p><p>“Bee’s not my girl, shut up,” Blair stated with a laugh and a blush. “Unless she wants to be,” she added, “then maybe, I guess.”</p><p>Sterling barely contained a squeal, but she did hug her sister. “Have fun and be back at midnight, before you turn into a pumpkin.”</p><p>Blair chuckled at that and shoved Sterling. “Be safe,” Blair said as she snatched up the cage.</p><p>“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Sterling winked, giggling. “Don’t lose track of time!” she called after Blair as she headed out the door.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April twirled a lock of her hair around her finger, smiling to herself while her other hand moved swiftly across the canvas in front of her. Painting wasn’t something she usually did unless it was for a project, but she wanted to surprise her girlfriend, and what better way to do that than recreate their tattoo, the ink that bound them together as soulmates?</p><p>She dipped her paintbrush in the white paint she purchased yesterday after school and mixed it with blue, for one of the butterfly’s wings. The movement of each stroke brought April a sense of inner peace and she felt as though she became one with her materials as if they were an extension of her. She didn’t need to check the mark on her abdomen to replicate every detail, knowing it all too well.</p><p>Her progress was interrupted when her phone rang, but she smiled nonetheless when her screen lit up with Sterling’s name. April put her paintbrush down and picked up her phone, aimed away from her canvas.</p><p>“Hola, Carolina,” April said when Sterling’s face appeared.</p><p>“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Sterling responded with a dreamy smile. “I miss you.”</p><p>“I miss you, too.”</p><p>“I miss your soft lips,” Sterling whispered.</p><p>April pressed her lips to her screen, chuckling when Sterling whined, although April felt the same. “We could go to the fun zone tomorrow,” she suggested.</p><p>“I’d love to,” Sterling agreed. “It’s a date,” she hummed, pressing her own lips to the screen. “Do you think that kid won that poop emoji by now?”</p><p>“I hope he did because I’m not letting him ruin another near kiss,” April stated, caught in the twinkle in her soulmate’s eyes.</p><p>Sterling gasped. “You would have kissed me in public?” she inquired, blinking.</p><p>April probably wouldn’t have, but the tension between them back then did wicked things to her heart and almost made her forget they weren’t alone. “Someday, I want to,” she admitted with a soft sigh. “But I’d like to hold your hand tomorrow,” she added, “if…if that’s okay.”</p><p>“You can do that,” Sterling nodded. “I, um, I came out to my parents.”</p><p>April’s eyes widened minutely. “How did they take the news?” she asked, holding her breath, ready to dash out of the door and give Sterling a hug if she needed one.</p><p>“They already knew. Dana told them and they kept it a secret because they wanted me to tell them when I felt comfortable, and then Blair came out too, and they hugged us and told us they love us no matter what,” Sterling answered, wiping away a tear that had formed in the corner of her eye.</p><p>April felt like she was about to cry as well. “I’m so happy for you, baby,” she spoke in earnest, relieved Sterling received such a warm reaction.</p><p>“There’s one more thing,” Sterling uttered, chewing her bottom lip. “You were right, they know about us, but they like you and they said you can come over any time you want.”</p><p>April slowly worked her jaw, unsure what to do with that knowledge. She wasn’t quite prepared to share her relationship with Sterling with Sterling’s parents, but she suspected they knew, and now it turned out they did. April wasn’t ready to face Mr. and Mrs. Wesley as their daughter’s girlfriend, not yet at least.</p><p>“What are you doing tonight?” Sterling questioned.</p><p>April breathed out, thankful for the change of topic. “Well,” she sighed, “while you are out there playing 007,” she smiled despite her constant worrying for Sterling’s safety, “I’ll be watching a movie.”</p><p>It was a lie, but April didn’t want to ruin the surprise. She couldn’t tell Sterling about the painting and the night was still young, so perhaps April would end up watching a film after all.</p><p>“Playing?” Sterling gasped, holding a hand against her chest. “The name’s Bond, Sterling Bond,” she mused, winking. “And no mission is impossible for me.”</p><p>April couldn’t contain her smile if she tried. “Is that so?” she replied, arching a brow. “Remind me, love, how did sliding over the hood of the car work out for you?”</p><p>“Oh gosh, I should, err, go to, um…work. I love you! See you at the fun zone tomorrow!”</p><p>“I’ll be there at seven,” April promised, crossing her heart with her finger. “And I love you more.”</p><p>“I love you most,” Sterling smiled.</p><p>“I love you more than-” April whispered, sighing when Sterling hung up.</p><p>April put her phone down and brought her attention back to her canvas to resume her work, but her attempt quickly faltered when she heard a commotion downstairs. With a frown on her face, she walked out of her room and knelt down next to the staircase at the top of the stairs.</p><p>“- and I told you to move.”</p><p>April’s eyes went round. She knew that voice all too well and that tone that predicted nothing good.</p><p>“You shouldn’t be here, John,” April’s mother huffed, putting her hands on her sides. “I thought we had an agreement.”</p><p>“I should sell this place.”</p><p>“You can’t put us out on the street.”</p><p>“And why the hell not, Laura?” he sneered in response. “You spat on our vows and kicked me out on the street.”</p><p>“You slept with another woman. How do you think that made me feel?”</p><p>“That prostitute meant nothing to me. I made a mistake. Don’t pretend you’re perfect, you screwed up as much as I did, but I stuck by your side because that’s what a good husband does.”</p><p>April couldn’t listen to another minute of her parents arguing. She made her way downstairs, even though she had no desire to see her father or interact with him in the slightest.</p><p>“Hey, little Padawan,” her father greeted her with a smile as if everything was fine when it wasn’t.</p><p>“Hey, dad,” April managed, forcing the words out. “Why are you…home?” she questioned, although it was no longer his and he needed to leave.</p><p>“I forgot some things in my office,” he answered, smile dropping. “This isn’t over yet, you hear me?” he directed at April’s mother before stomping off in the direction of his office.</p><p>April watched as her father collected paperwork and put it in a briefcase, after which he opened a safe filled with money and a gun. She didn’t stray from her mother’s side, frowning when her father left while muttering something about unfinished business he needed to take care of. But then, right before he shut the door, she saw a look on his face she never saw before, something so malicious she tasted copper on her tongue.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling parked her car on the side of the street near the park, where her skip sped off on a stolen motorized wheelchair. “That’s cheating!” she yelled while she climbed out of her car.</p><p>She grabbed her gun at first, but put it back because running with a gun was dangerous. Sterling groaned as she pursued her skip on foot, realizing she was in a surprisingly bad shape for a teenage bounty hunter. She hated running more than she hated doing chores because in a matter of seconds, her lungs burned and her legs begged her to stop.</p><p>In the darkness and the poor lights, Sterling lost her skip. She sighed while she turned around to go back, jumping at a silhouette stepping out from behind a tree.</p><p>“Jesus,” Sterling whispered, catching her breath. “Um, hello?” she called out, hands on her knees while the stranger approached her. “Do you need help?”</p><p>Sterling strained her eyes, staggering when the figure became visible underneath a light post. With a start, she knew she made a mistake leaving her car unprotected. Tonight was meant to be a piece of cake, so she didn’t bother wearing a vest or keeping her gun on her person.</p><p>Mr. Stevens raised his gun. “Where’s the other brat?” he asked, peering around while he kept his gun pointed at Sterling.</p><p>“That’s none of your business,” Sterling stated, glaring at him. </p><p>“You and that miserable sister of yours ruined my life.”</p><p>“You did that yourself, sir,” Sterling countered respectfully.</p><p>“I wanted to kill her first,” John said with such a calm tone it was eerie. “Guess I’ll have to start with you,” he concluded, cocking his gun.</p><p>Sterling swallowed at his threat. “I wouldn’t do that,” she tried while she thought about running toward the pond as fast as she could and jump into the water, but it would be too cold and she wasn’t that quick. “You’re a free man. Murder will get you imprisoned.”</p><p>“You and that other bitch won’t be there to catch me,” Mr. Stevens sneered.</p><p>“Language!” Sterling reprimanded.</p><p>It almost made her laugh how she commented on that when she had bigger fish to fry, but it was really bad to say such things. Sterling wanted to pray, but she didn’t have time to. This was it for her, the end of a short line because she felt in her gut Mr. Stevens was going to pull that trigger, regardless of what she said to make him change his mind. Revenge was a virus and he was infected beyond recovery.</p><p>“Any last words?” Mr. Stevens taunted.</p><p>Sterling had far too many words left unsaid, but none of them were meant for his ears. She wanted to tell her sister she would always be with her, watching over her from above, counting the days until they could reunite, and that Blair could borrow her bras as much as she wanted. Sterling wanted to tell her parents that she couldn’t have asked for a better mom and dad, and ask them to please be patient with Blair because Sterling knew Blair was trying even when it didn’t look like she was.</p><p>Sterling wanted to tell Bowser and Yolanda and her friends that death wasn’t the end and that this wasn’t goodbye. Sterling wanted to ask Hannah B to give Blair all of the hugs she couldn’t anymore and to be there for her even when Blair pushed everyone away because of her pain. Sterling wanted,<em> needed</em>, to tell April to not be afraid, to love fiercely and live fully. Sterling wanted April to go on with her life instead of living in the past, in a world of ghosts.</p><p>Sterling wanted to tell April she loved her beyond measure and that she would wait for her in heaven, to hold her hand and walk through God’s garden. Sterling wanted to encourage April to chase her dreams and have the family she spoke so fondly about. Sterling needed to tell Blair that just because she was gone didn’t mean she no longer had a sister, needed her to twin swear April was family.</p><p>“Yes,” Sterling told Mr. Stevens after some thought, “I feel sorry for you.”</p><p>Sterling closed her eyes and when she did, memories flashed through her head. She remembered meeting April for the first time and telling her she liked her necklace, remembered her parents fussing over a scrape on her knee when she was five and patching her up with a band-aid decorated with tigers, remembered Blair sharing her ice cream after she dropped hers, and so much more. But Sterling also saw things that hadn’t happened yet, glimpses of the future she hoped to have.</p><p>She saw a white wedding and April was so stunning, so breathtaking it made Sterling cry. She saw herself taking April’s hand in hers, sliding a ring around her finger, promising to love her forever. Sterling gripped tighter, not wanting it to end, but each vision was like a slide, moving so rapidly it felt like a movie stuck on fast-forward and she didn’t have the remote to make it stop.</p><p>When Sterling opened her eyes, she no longer faced Mr. Stevens. He was still there, but April blocked the path between Sterling’s chest and the barrel of the gun.</p><p>Mr. Stevens lowered his gun. “Move out of the way, sweetheart,” he requested, sighing deeply. “I don’t want to hurt you.”</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere,” April spoke, puffing out her chest. “If you want to shoot her, you’ll have to shoot me first.”</p><p>Sterling’s voice caught in her throat. The thought of dying felt scary, but this was worse. No, no, no, what was April doing? She was supposed to be at home, in her room, snuggling with her cat underneath a blanket, watching a movie.</p><p>“You’re willing to die for her?” Mr. Stevens scoffed at April.</p><p>“I love her,” April exclaimed, keeping her body in front of Sterling’s. “She’s my…my soulmate,” April shared, voice wavering yet carrying through the air. “I won’t let you harm her.”</p><p>“That breaks my heart,” John Stevens stated while he lifted his gun once more. “I didn’t raise you to live in sin. You’re no daughter of mine no more,” he concluded in a harsh tone and then he did the most unspeakable thing, he pulled the trigger.</p><p>The shot rang through the air with a deafening boom. Sterling never heard such a heart-stopping sound, but then April screamed. Sterling’s girlfriend, whom she loved to infinity and so far beyond, literally went and caught a bullet for her. No, no, no, April wasn’t supposed to be there! This couldn’t be happening. Sterling needed to wake up from this nightmare.</p><p>April clutched her left shoulder with her right hand, face pale while blood oozed past her fingers. She opened her mouth as if to speak, cut off when her father struck her with another shot. It all happened so fast, Sterling didn’t see where it hit her. But there was blood, so much blood. And then April stumbled to the ground, eyes fluttered shut.</p><p>Sterling gasped for air like she was never going to remember how to breathe and dropped to her knees. Tears sprung from her eyes as she looked up at the person who should have loved and protected his baby girl unconditionally, finding nothing but hatred in his. He even smiled, like he awaited praise or something equally disturbing for gunning down his child. <em>His</em> daughter!</p><p>Sterling wanted to yell at him, curse him to the depths of hell, and force him to undo what he did somehow. She wanted to claw his eyes out and wipe that stupid grin off of his face. She wanted to spit on him and kick him and punch him until her knuckles were red and raw, and not stop until the cops dragged her away.</p><p>But she couldn’t. Sterling couldn’t talk, couldn’t tear herself away from April as her hands desperately reached out. April lay limp onto the cobblestones and appeared much smaller than she was like she wasn’t going to wake up ever again, caught in an eternal sleep. And for a moment, Sterling feared April went to heaven early.</p><p>But then, ever so slowly, one of her fingers twitched.</p><p>Sterling saw John aiming to finish what he started and without hesitation, she moved to shield April with her body. As expected, another shot went off. Only, this time, it wasn’t Mr. Stevens pulling the trigger.</p><p>“Son of a bitch!” John yelled, nursing his wounded hand, bending down with the other toward the ground where he dropped his gun. “You’re going to pay for that,” he spat at the person behind him.</p><p>Mrs. Stevens cocked her gun. “Go ahead, John. Pick it up so I can shoot you again for firing your weapon at my child,” she responded with a quivering lip and tear-stricken cheeks, but her hand never wavered an inch. “You’re going to hell for this, but first, you will rot in prison and everyone will know what you’ve done. And nobody will love you because you shot the only person who did.”</p><p>“Sterling, dear,” Mrs. Stevens uttered, voice much gentler now. “I need you to call 911.”</p><p>Sterling’s hands shook uncontrollably while she dialed 911 to request an ambulance. When an operator picked up, all she did was scream her soulmate was dying.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Don't come after me with pitchforks just yet. <br/>Also, April's mother wasn't named on the show, so her name is Laura now. </p><p>~Think happy thoughts.~</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>~ This chapter isn't fluff, so it might hurt ~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A gentle breeze blew through April’s hair as she walked through the street she grew up on. There weren’t any cars, except for parked ones, covered in yellow, orange, and red leaves. They weren’t in mint condition or drivable for that matter. One of them had no wheels and another had its motor taken out of the hood. It was as though the entire neighborhood had evacuated, but there was no fire or anything signaling immediate danger. </p><p>April hugged her arms around herself when the wind picked up, gripping the sleeves of her flannel shirt, to no avail. This was not the day to be outside without an extra layer of clothes. A shudder ran down her spine when a snowflake touched her nose. She looked up, gasping at the snow twirling down and she could’ve sworn it was autumn instead of winter or was it spring?</p><p>April wasn’t sure how she had gotten here, but she knew she had to go home. The cold wrapped around her bones as a layer of snow began to bury her feet further with each step. At the end of the street, close to her house, she saw a little girl without a jacket or a hat to keep her warm. April worried the child got lost, so she picked up her pace, but as soon as she did, the girl started running.</p><p>April wanted to tell the girl she meant no harm, but she couldn’t speak. She opened her mouth and uttered half of the dictionary, but none of her words made a sound, not even a little. She felt her jaw working, but her voice didn’t. So April began to run as well, despite the snow turning her hands blue, closing the distance between them.</p><p>She put her hand on the little girl’s shoulder while softening her face to appear as kind as possible. The girl whipped her head around, ponytail sweeping over April’s hand. April stared down at the child’s green eyes, guessing she was five or six years old, or seven maybe. Either way, she needed to get both of them someplace warm before the hypothermia settled in.</p><p>“I’m April,” April mouthed, cursing her inability to whisper, to make herself understood. “What’s your name?” she tried without any sound. “April,” she repeated, holding her hands to her chest, and then bringing them near the girl, “and you?”</p><p>“You can’t be here,” the girl said, eyebrows knitted together. “You have to go back.”</p><p>April frowned as well and when her words still didn’t come, she tilted her head to the side. Go back where exactly? And why weren’t there any other people? And how did the snow build so quickly? She couldn’t fathom what happened.</p><p>“Hurry before it’s too late!” the girl yelled, pointing her finger at the street behind April.</p><p>April turned to catch a glimpse, to see if she missed anything important, and when she looked back, the girl was gone.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“I was chasing my skip and then he stole one of those motorized wheelchairs that are actually like super-fast, and he went into the park, so I parked there and I left my gun in the car to run after him, but then he was gone and Mr. Stevens was there with a gun pointed at me, asking if I had any last words because he lost his mind and wanted revenge because he blames us for what happened, and it’s not our fault, but he thinks it is, and I thought I was going to die and then April showed up, and-” Sterling rambled, sobbing over the phone.</p><p>She wasn’t done explaining, but her chest hurt and she couldn’t breathe. Sterling gasped for air while she clutched her phone, but it wasn’t the lifeline she needed. She needed her sister to help her through this pain and to tell her everything was going to be okay and that April wasn’t going to die because she was tough as nails and nothing in the world was capable of breaking her. April had to be okay. She had to. She couldn’t leave like this, not when their entire future was at their fingertips.</p><p>They were supposed to go to the fun zone tomorrow, on a date because even though they were soulmates and girlfriends, they still went on dates. They were about to reach a huge milestone together by holding hands in a public place. It was such a giant leap for April and Sterling wished she had told her how brave she was, how April didn’t need to catch two<em> goddamn </em>bullets for her to prove her courage. Why did April have to be such a brave idiot? So stupidly wonderful she didn’t blink to exchange Sterling’s life for hers.</p><p>“Theresbloodeverywhere,” Sterling whimpered.</p><p>“Whoa, Sterl, slow down,” Blair spoke. “I’m going to count to four and we’re going to breathe in together, okay? And then I’m going to count to four again, and you’ll breathe out with me. Ready?”</p><p>“I can’t breathe. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” Sterling whispered, shaking her head. “Everything hurts and it won’t stop hurting because it can’t stop hurting and I don’t want to breathe, I want April to open her eyes.”</p><p>“You can breathe. I promise you that you can. I’m right here.”</p><p>“But you’re not! You’re not here! Your hands aren’t covered in her blood! I need you and you’re not here!” Sterling screamed into her phone, regretting the harshness of her tone immediately. It wasn’t her sister’s fault that this happened and she encouraged Blair to go after Hannah B instead of going bounty hunting together like they usually did.</p><p>“O-one,” Sterling whispered, inhaling while her sister counted the rest of the way to four.</p><p>“Slow breaths,” Blair coaxed, and hearing her voice helped, but it wasn’t enough for Sterling.</p><p>“April sho-showed up at the park a-and her dad shot her because he wanted to sh-shoot me,” Sterling hiccupped through her tears, “but she said he’d have to shoot her f-first an-and he did, and there’s s-so much b-blood and the ambulance is ta-taking forever, a-and she’s dying and I d-don’t want to lose h-her!”</p><p>It was quiet for a few seconds, except for the ambulance wailing in the distance, getting closer to the park. What took so long? Sterling felt like she called 911 hours ago to get help and surely the park wasn’t that far away from the hospital because it was like five minutes out and they didn’t have to worry about traffic.</p><p>“I’ll meet up with you at the hospital,” Blair replied on the other end of the line.</p><p>“I c-can’t lo-lose her!” Sterling screamed. “I love h-her!” she yelled, ignoring the fact Mr. and Mrs. Stevens heard her loud and clear, including a few bystanders who must have heard the gunshots and came to check it out.</p><p>Sterling didn’t care about anyone’s lousy opinion, especially not Mr. Stevens muttering slurs. The only thing in the world that mattered right now was April and getting her the care she needed before she bled out on Sterling’s shoes. There was still a chance to save her, there had to be. April was too young to die. She was meant to be a great lawyer someday or become president or anything that made a difference really.</p><p>“You ca-can’t take h-her,” Sterling whispered up at the sky. “Please d-don’t take her a-away from m-me,” she begged God, praying with all of her heart he listened.</p><p>“It’s going to be okay, Sterl,” Blair spoke calmly. And how just how? How could she be so relaxed? “I’m on my way.”</p><p>Sterling hung up and clutched April’s right hand in both of hers. The ambulance arrived and Sterling didn’t let go. While the medical personnel placed April on a gurney, Sterling saw a cop slapping cuffs around Mr. Steven’s wrists.  She glared at him while her eyes brimmed with fresh tears.</p><p>“Sterling, dear,” Mrs. Stevens cried as she clutched her upper left arm with her right hand. “When my darling angel wakes up, tell her I’m sorry and that I love-”</p><p>Mrs. Stevens collapsed right in front of Sterling’s eyes, out of nowhere.</p><p>“Mrs. Stevens!” Sterling yelled, drawing the attention of the doctors. “I-I don’t know w-what hap-happened! She d-didn’t get s-shot!”</p><p>The world faded in and out as Sterling got in the back of the ambulance, hand slippery with blood but she didn’t let go of April. Sterling held a finger under her girlfriend’s nose to check if she was still breathing, meanwhile, on the drive to the hospital, she picked up pieces of the things the medical personnel said.</p><p>“Miss,” one of the doctors said to Sterling when they arrived, “we need you to let go now.”</p><p>“No,” Sterling replied, swallowing.</p><p>“Miss,” another doctor tried. “We’ll take care of her from here. We can’t do that unless you let us do our job.”</p><p>Sterling wriggled her fingers, wishing to feel April squeeze them, but she didn’t. Why couldn’t she stay with her? What if April opened her eyes and Sterling wasn’t there and April thought she abandoned her?</p><p>“Hey, I’m nurse Browne,” a woman spoke gently while she approached. “But you can call me Claire,” she offered with a kind smile. “Why don’t we go find a quiet place to talk, hm?”</p><p>“I c-can’t,” Sterling croaked, afraid that if she let go of April, she would never feel the warmth of her skin again.</p><p>“Sterl!” Blair called out.</p><p>Sterling placed a kiss on April’s forehead, silently pleading for her not to die. Sterling knew she had to let go, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t bear the idea of April in some room, on a cold metal table, getting surgery she might not survive yet needed to save her life.</p><p>Blair grabbed Sterling’s wrist and pried her away from April. Sterling’s bones were too weary to resist the pull. She was just so exhausted from struggling to breathe. Sterling turned around and then everything went black. The last thing she remembered before she came to was her sister catching her in her arms.</p><p>“When I get my hands on that asshole, he’ll be drinking his food through a straw,” Blair grumbled between gritted teeth. “Can I borrow your phone, Bee? My battery’s almost empty and I need to call my parents, let them know we haven’t been abducted.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April opened her eyes with a groan. The lights were too bright and this wasn’t her home or her bed. Her shoulder hurt and her stomach begged her not to move. Memories flashed through her head, little snippets of trying to keep Sterling safe, but none of them showed if she succeeded or not.</p><p>What if Sterling got shot as well? April had no idea what happened to her soulmate. What if she failed? She should have done more, wrestle the gun from her father’s hands, make him empty the chamber.</p><p>“Sterling,” April croaked out. She meant to shout her name, but her throat hurt and she barely managed an octave above a whisper.</p><p>“Breathe, April,” Blair’s voice said from somewhere close by. “Breathe. She’s okay. She fell asleep next to you.”</p><p>April turned her head to the right, gritting her teeth from the effort, and then the left, where she found her soulmate indeed asleep. Thank God.</p><p>Blair sat in an armchair, in the corner of the room. She blew over a plastic cup and took a sip while she made eye-contact with April.</p><p>“Hello,” April greeted the older twin.</p><p>“Hey, kid,” Blair whispered, and April appreciated her hushed volume.</p><p>“What happened to <em>‘hey, loser’</em>?” April questioned with a strained smile, finding it somewhat painful to move even in the slightest.</p><p>Blair blew over her cup again and took another sip. It was then it became visible how dark the edges around her eyes were and how parts of her black nail polish had peeled away from her nails. Her cheeks were covered in red blotches, in strong contrast with the rest of her pale skin.</p><p>“You’re many things but a loser ain’t one of them,” Blair answered. “You saved my sister’s life. I’ll fucking love you forever for that,” she uttered in a hushed tone, sniffling, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweater.</p><p>April smiled on the inside, but on the outside, she had to relax her face. “You love me,” she replied, and she sounded tired, though she counted on Blair knowing her well enough to understand she was teasing her. “Can I have that in writing?” April added, sparing a smile despite the pain.</p><p>Blair let out a dry chuckle, almost as though her lungs were filled with dust. “Shut up. You should be resting,” she muttered, grinning for a moment. “I’m going to tell Bee you woke up,” she announced with a sigh, getting out of the armchair.</p><p>“Hannah is here?”</p><p>“Yeah, she, um, she’s in the cafeteria,” Blair answered, rubbing the back of her neck. “We were on a date when Sterling called, so erm, we came here together. The hospital staff said only one person could stay with you, but…”</p><p>“Sterling didn’t want to leave my side and you didn’t want to leave hers,” April filled in.</p><p>Blair nodded and reached for the door. </p><p>“Hey, Blair,” April said before the older twin left. “How long was I out for?”</p><p>Blair rolled her lips into her mouth. “Twenty-six hours,” she whispered, gripping the door handle. “The doctors weren’t sure if you’d pull through, but Sterling’s right, you’re a badass.”</p><p>“Language,” April sighed, although she wasn’t that bothered by such silly details right now.</p><p>“Fine, you’re a bad behind then, whatever. Pick your bone with Sterling later,” Blair grinned. “I’ll let the nurse know you’re awake,” she said, and then she left the room.</p><p>April wriggled her fingers one by one and slowly extended her arm, ignoring the objection her muscles made. She stroked Sterling’s hair, fingers combing gently through her messy locks, mindful not to tug at any knots.</p><p>Being at the hospital was not how April imagined spending her weekend, but Sterling was safe, she was breathing and asleep, and unharmed, and that was all April wanted. She did feel guilty for having to miss their date. They were supposed to meet up at the fun zone tonight and she wasn’t one to break promises, though she didn’t do it on purpose and she knew it technically wasn’t her fault.</p><p>Sterling stirred underneath April’s fingers and a few seconds later, she came to. As soon as she did, Sterling began to cry, and then April did as well.</p><p>“I love you,” Sterling whispered, pressing her lips against April’s.</p><p>“I love you too.”</p><p>“I was so worried you wouldn’t…,” Sterling trailed off. “I would have been more than happy to hold your hand, you know? You didn’t have to catch a bullet for me.”</p><p>“You’re my soulmate,” April responded, sorry for scaring Sterling but not sorry for saving her life.</p><p>Sterling moved to stand and wiped her tears with the palms of her hands. “So, uh, your personal stuff is bagged up because that’s what they do here apparently when they bring in a patient and there’s blood on your purity ring, and I know how important it is for you, so I can clean it for you later,” she said in one breath. “Your clothes are kind of totally ruined, but I think you look every bit as beautiful in your hospital gown, and I can bring you new clothes or have someone else bring them.”</p><p>“I don’t want my ring back,” April stated with a short smile, adoring her soulmate’s nervous little ramble. “Life’s too short,” she mused, grabbing Sterling’s hand, caressing her knuckles, “I didn’t come out of one closet to lock myself up in another one.”</p><p>April imagined the news would spread one way or another. She was done with regrets, done with living a lie out of fear. Hatred existed, whether the world knew she was a lesbian or not, and she wanted to be herself.</p><p>“Sterl, my love, what happened?” April asked, sorry for bringing it up, but she needed to know. “After I got shot,” she clarified.</p><p>“Your father, he, um, he shot you…twice,” Sterling answered, swallowing audibly. “And your mother arrived. I’m not sure why she was there because I’m not even sure why you were there because I thought you were at home, and then you weren’t, and…and…,” she paused and wiped her cheeks with her palms, catching the tears that escaped her. “Your mother shot him, but it’s only like a mild hand injury, and then she told me to call 911 so I did. Your mother was pretty awesome out there. I don’t think either one of us would have made it without her.”</p><p>“The doctors got the bullets out,” Sterling added. “They said none of your organs were hit and they gave you some blood because you lost a bunch. Did you know we have the same blood type?”</p><p>“My mother…?” April whispered while she processed the information.</p><p>April realized her mother must have followed her out the door after she went after her father. She remembered leaving in a hurry without an explanation or looking back. April didn’t even try justifying why she went out at night or where on earth she was going. When she saw that disturbing look on her father’s face, her instincts kicked in and propelled her forward. If she searched her memory very carefully, April heard her mother talking to her, but she didn’t absorb any of her words.</p><p>Sterling cast her eyes down for a second. “She told me to tell you that she loves you and that she’s sorry.”</p><p>“Where is she?” April questioned, breathing faster when her soulmate looked away. “Sterling? Where’s my mom?”</p><p>Sterling chewed her lower lip, followed by a deep sigh. “Your mom, she uh...,” she answered through wet lashes. “Her heart went into cardiac arrest and she…she slipped into a coma. I’m so sorry, April.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As you might have seen, I changed the chapter count. <br/>There will be one more. </p><p>Comments and kudos are appreciated :-)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy reading :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sterling chewed her lip while she stared at the half-eaten lunch and it was better than nothing, but it wasn’t enough. The portions they served at the hospital weren’t all that large to begin with and she very specifically heard April’s nurse say April needed to take good care of her body to build up her strength.</p><p>“Mhmm, turkey,” Sterling hummed. She picked up the fork and poked the food, and sure it wasn’t worth a Michelin star or anything, but it couldn’t be worse than the dry and slightly burned turkey her mother made every year for thanksgiving.</p><p>April glanced up at the ceiling. “I’m not hungry,” she stated with a sigh.</p><p>“But…,” Sterling whispered, sighing as well.</p><p>Sterling looked up from the plate when her sister walked in and shook her head.</p><p>“Whoa, you didn’t finish your lunch?” Blair said to April, eyebrows raised. “I didn’t know you were so chill about wasting food,” Blair went on. “That’s a lot to toss in the garbage.”</p><p>“I know what you’re doing,” April responded, sighing once more. “And if you care so much about waste, eat it yourself because as I told Sterling, I’m not hungry.”</p><p>“April, please,” Sterling uttered, clasping her hand in hers. “Please?”</p><p>April clenched her jaw and said nothing. Sterling tried to convince her girlfriend to eat a few more bites, to no avail. She even went to get a cup of chocolate pudding, which the hospital staff kept behind their desk for special cases, but it didn’t help.</p><p>Sterling knew it wasn’t easy to think about food right now. Without Blair and her parents coaxing her, Sterling wouldn’t have eaten much either. But she had to, just like April had to because hungry or not, she couldn’t function properly without the necessary vitamins. April just happened to be stubborn and it hurt Sterling how saying please failed. It never did before. That word was meant to be April’s weakness, to have her succumb to Sterling’s wishes. And right now all she wanted was for her girlfriend to get better.</p><p>There was a knock on the door and then the nurse walked in.</p><p>“Hello, girls,” Nurse Browne greeted, kind as always. “I’m here to redress your bandages,” she told April, and with that announcement, Blair left the room.</p><p>“You can wait outside,” Nurse Browne said to Sterling, “it won’t take more than ten minutes.”</p><p>“No,” April spoke up, breaking her silence. “My girlfriend stays.”</p><p>Sterling’s heart fluttered and with tears in her eyes, she caressed April’s hand.</p><p>“If…if you want to,” April added, voice softening.</p><p>“I want to,” Sterling nodded. “Can I?” she asked the nurse.</p><p>“Of course,” Nurse Browne answered.</p><p>Sterling stayed, but when the nurse changed the bandages, she had to glance away. Seeing April’s wounds made it all too real how close Sterling came to losing her. April’s ink no longer looked the same. One of the butterflies was gone where the second bullet struck, replaced by stitches.</p><p>The nurse finished her job, urged April to eat the rest of her food, and left.</p><p>“I want to see my mother,” April whispered. “I need you to help me out of this bed,” she requested, flattening her palms on the mattress like she was going to get up whether Sterling agreed to or not.</p><p>“Nurse Browne said you’re supposed to rest,” Sterling reminded her girlfriend. “I don’t think-”</p><p>“Sterl, please,” April interrupted, lip quivering. “She might not make it. This could be my last chance to see her.”</p><p>Sterling couldn’t say much against that, and she knew that if it were her mother, she would feel the same way. But she didn’t want April to rip her stitches or exhaust herself too much when she was kind of grounded to stay in bed. Sterling thought about offering to go check on April’s mother herself, but she knew that wasn’t the same, and it really had to be April. Plus, Sterling would never forgive herself if she denied her girlfriend the chance to visit her comatose mother, and if Mrs. Stevens suddenly passed away before April could.</p><p>“I’ll go get Blair to give me a hand,” Sterling replied, rubbing her arm. “You’re very tiny, but I don’t want to accidentally drop you. Stay put until I get back, okay?”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” April winked, smiling.</p><p>On her way out, Sterling’s heart did a summersault, happy to see her girlfriend crack a smile. She found her sister wandering the hall, headed toward the cafeteria.</p><p>“Hey, um, I need your help,” Sterling said, “April wants to see her mother.”</p><p>Sterling rubbed her stomach when she felt her skin prickle and when she lifted up her shirt to investigate; she noticed her tattoo no longer looked the way it did since the night of her seventeenth birthday.</p><p>Blair frowned. “What are you doing?”</p><p>“It…it’s gone,” Sterling concluded with a gasp. “I had another butterfly right here,” she whispered, tapping her index finger against her abdomen, touching a blank patch of her skin.</p><p>“Isn’t that where April got-” Blair rushed, but she cut herself off, cleared her throat, and averted her eyes. “Okay, let’s move your brave idiot.”</p><p>Sterling lowered her shirt. “We need a wheelchair. It’ll be easier to move her. I don’t want to jostle her too much.”</p><p>“Um…here,” Blair said, grabbing one from the hall.</p><p>“Are you sure we’re allowed to take that one?”</p><p>“We’re not even allowed to get April out of bed,” Blair pointed out. “And we’re only going to borrow it, which is totally different from stealing.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Sterling agreed. “But we should hurry before Nurse Browne sees us.”</p><p>“We’re trained bounty hunters, stealth is our thing,” Blair replied right before she ran over Sterling’s toes.</p><p>Sterling stepped back with her hands on her hips.</p><p>“I didn’t see you there,” Blair mumbled, moving on the April’s room, where April very much had not stayed put.</p><p>Sterling rushed to her girlfriend’s side when she saw her scooting toward the edge of the bed and used a pillow to shove her back for her own safety because she was gentle like that.</p><p>“We’re here, we’re queer,” Blair announced with a grin while she positioned the wheelchair next to the bed. “What, it’s true?” she shrugged when both Sterling and April looked at her. “Oh, and,” Blair added, glancing at April, “if you could subtly ask Bee if she thinks I’m a good kisser, I’d appreciate it, shortstop.”</p><p>“Shortstop?” April gasped. “Listen, you beanstalk, when I’m better I’ll-”</p><p>“Okay,” Sterling interrupted, clapping her hands together. “Are you ready, babe?”</p><p>Once April sat in the wheelchair, Sterling pushed her forward despite her girlfriend saying she had it handled, just to roll over Blair’s toes to repay the favor. The smile on April’s face after made Sterling’s day a lot better.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April rolled inside her mother’s room and stilled.</p><p>“Ms. Johnson?” April uttered, blinking as she took in the scene in front of her very eyes. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“Why, visiting your mother, of course,” Ellen answered with a smile.</p><p>“Yes,” April noted, clearing her throat. “But why?”</p><p>“Laura and I went to Willingham together,” Ellen shared. “I – Oh Gosh, you want some time alone with her, don’t you? I’ll get out of your way, don’t mind me.”</p><p>“No, no,” April rushed. “Stay. I’m happy she hasn’t been alone,” she spoke sincerely, even though she still didn’t quite understand. “Were you two close?” she wondered out loud.</p><p>“I loved her, but God knows I was too scared to tell her,” Ellen replied with a wet chuckle, and April hadn’t realized until that moment how Ellen’s cheeks were covered in runny mascara.</p><p>April rolled her wheelchair closer. “What was my mother like?” she inquired, watching as Ellen held her mother’s hand, and it was strange, yet comforting.</p><p>“She was quite the free spirit, always rebelling,” Ellen laughed lightly. “And I couldn’t say hi without tripping over my own two feet. Laura refused to wear the school uniform, but she had so much heart and cared so deeply about others. When I failed my classes because I was in love with her and I couldn’t concentrate, she tutored me. She’d smile at me when I got an A+ and it made me love her more.”</p><p>April wasn’t entirely certain how to react to that kind of information. She hadn’t seen it coming, not at all. Her mother never spoke much of her past and April didn’t think she had any friends. She had no idea her mother used to tutor people or that she was a rebel. Her mother was always so obedient, nodding along to her father’s wishes. But April also used to think her mother was a bigot, like her father, and that was far from true.</p><p>Her mother was the one who saved Sterling when April’s attempt went horribly wrong. No matter how much Blair sang her praises, April considered her mother to be the true hero. Her plan wasn’t much of a plan at all. She put herself in danger because she believed her father would never harm her. April thought speaking up would have been enough to stop him. Then again, if she had brought a gun like her mother did, April didn’t think she would have pulled the trigger.</p><p>“You told me you’re a lesbian,” April recalled. “Did you ever…come out?”</p><p>“Your mother was the first person I told,” Ellen revealed, smiling softly when April gasped. “She’s a saint, you know,” Ellen continued. “I was a mess back then, but Laura sat me down and told me there was nothing wrong with me, that I wasn’t broken for loving differently.”</p><p>April felt tears well up in her eyes while she imagined her mother saying those words, wishing they would be directed at her someday. She didn’t feel broken or like there was something wrong with her, not since she accepted herself as a lesbian anyway, but she very much craved her mother’s loving support.</p><p>“Laura introduced me to one of her friends,” Ellen said, looking down for a second. “Her name was Abigail. She didn’t go to Willingham, but I was as smitten as a kitten snug in a rug. I told her I wanted to marry her, but she told me it ain’t legal. Women weren’t allowed to marry each other back then.”</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“I proposed in the summer of 2015 and she said yes,” Ellen answered, smiling briefly, but then her eyes turned glassy. “On the morning of our wedding, she was gone. She left a note, said she changed her mind and couldn’t marry me. She’s married to a woman named Isabel now.”</p><p>April’s eyebrows creased together. “That’s awful,” she responded, which was an understatement. “I’m so sorry you were treated that way.”</p><p>“Your mother visited me that day,” Ellen shared. “She made sure I got out of bed, showered, ate, and put on clean clothes. When I heard what happened, I put my tub of ice cream aside and came straight here, in my sweats.”</p><p>April tilted her head to the side, though the movement caused her shoulder to ache. “How did you hear what happened?” she questioned, holding her breath while she imagined the rumor mill poisoning the truth.</p><p>“Oh, I’m Laura’s emergency contact,” Ellen answered as if it was common knowledge. “The hospital called me.”</p><p>“I feel like I don’t know her,” April confessed, taking her mother’s other hand. “Do you think she’ll wake up?”</p><p>“We gotta keep the faith, April,” Ellen replied all chipper, and she was right. “I’ll give you a moment with her, to get my steps in. You should talk to her, I bet she’s listening.”</p><p>“Hey, Ms. Johnson,” April called out after her. “Did you ever end up telling her how you felt?”</p><p>“It’s lunchtime, isn’t it? I should go eat,” Ellen murmured, staring at the floor on her way to the door. “I’ll swing by your house later to feed Sergeant Bilko. He’s a hungry little fella, ain’t he?”</p><p>“Don’t fall for his cute little face,” April chuckled, filing away the information that aside from being her mother’s emergency contact, Ellen seemed to have a spare key to their house. It was a lot to take in, but April was happy someone took care of her cat. “He’ll eat half his weight and act like he’s starving and hasn’t been fed in days.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Ellen’s gay?” Blair spluttered, lowering the bottle in her hand, dabbing a tissue at the water that dribbled down her chin with the other. “Holy...,” she said, lowering her voice, “shirt.”</p><p>“I know right?” Sterling whispered, eyes wide. “I thought she was an ally. I didn’t think she was a lesbian.”</p><p>“I get the feeling we shouldn’t have waited right outside the door,” Blair sighed, rubbing the back of her neck.</p><p>Sterling grimaced because her sister had a point, but she had no idea Ellen was in there until she heard April talk to her, and by then it was sort of already too late. Sterling didn’t eavesdrop on purpose and the fact Ellen was a lesbian explained why she mixed up the plane tickets when they returned from New York.</p><p>When Ellen exited Mrs. Stevens’ room, Sterling pretended to look at a chart Blair took from the nurses’ station.</p><p>“Look what I found,” Hannah B said while she approached them. “We can listen to our hearts,” she uttered, waving around a stethoscope.</p><p>“Oooh, do me first,” Blair grinned, unbuttoning the top two buttons of her flannel shirt.</p><p>Sterling gasped at her sister. “Are you wearing one of my bras again?” she noticed, crossing her arms. “Take it off!”</p><p>“Ugh fine,” Blair grumbled. “Bee, a hand?”</p><p>Hannah B fumbled with the stethoscope. “Really?”</p><p>“Really?” Sterling echoed. “Out here when there’s an empty bed like two rooms down the hall?”</p><p>Blair whisked the stethoscope out of Hannah B’s hands. “Come on, Bee,” Blair said, grabbing Hannah B’s hand, “let’s listen to each other’s heart in there.”</p><p>Sterling mentioned an empty bed, but she never claimed the room in its entirety was empty. Not everyone had a singles room like April and while she hated the idea of April ever being all alone in there, Sterling knew her girlfriend wasn’t keen on a random roommate who might snore or have annoying visitors coming over.</p><p>“Hey, girl, hey!”</p><p>Sterling spun around. “Ezekiel,” she greeted, smiling at the bouquet of flowers in his hands. “What took you so long?” she asked, poking out her tongue.</p><p>“Tell me about it,” Ezekiel groaned, pulling Sterling into a hug, which was new, but she welcomed the gesture. “My mom made me go to church first,” Ezekiel shared with a sigh.</p><p>Sterling’s eyes went round. “Oh…,” she whispered, suddenly remembering numerous texts from her mother, reminding her not to be late for church. “Um, so, yeah, I sort of totally forgot.”</p><p>“Nobody blames you, hun,” Ezekiel reassured, patting Sterling’s shoulder, “if I had a soulmate, I wouldn’t leave their side for nothing either.”</p><p>“Soulm… – you know,” Sterling realized, nodding slowly. “Did you guess or…?”</p><p>“April texted me,” Ezekiel answered, “I told her she better not die before inviting me to y’all’s wedding.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“I like your tattoo,” Nurse Browne said when she cleaned April’s wound. “It looks special, want to tell me the meaning behind it?” she asked, and it was the first time she brought it up.</p><p>“I’ll tell you if you tell me why you’re trying to distract me,” April suggested.  </p><p>“You’re a clever young woman,” the nurse complimented with a smile. “Since your mother is currently unable to take care of you, we’ve contacted your next of kin.”</p><p>April’s eyebrows creased together. “I don’t have a next of kin,” she commented in an affirmative tone, despite the strange news.</p><p>The only relatives her parents had were her grandparents, but they were all gone. Her mother was all April had left and she wasn’t sure if she was going to wake up. She had no other family left, not a single one. Thanks to John, April was close to being an orphan and the only next of kin she could think of was one of John’s friends, though April hardly knew those men, and she would rather be stuck in a home somewhere until she aged out of the system than live with one of those douchebags.</p><p>“Your uncle and his husband are on their way,” the nurse informed April.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” April rushed, blinking rapidly. “My who and what now?”</p><p>“Your uncle,” the nurse repeated, now frowning as well. “Your father’s brother,” she clarified with a kind smile.</p><p>“I…,” April whispered, throat dry. “I didn’t know John had a brother an-and a brother in law,” she added hoarsely while her eyes began to prick and it dawned on her why she didn’t.</p><p>If April had a gay uncle, then it made sense why she never heard a word about his existence. Tears brimmed in her eyes at the knowledge her family completely erased him. She never saw a photograph or heard her grandparents mention another child before they died. There was no unfamiliar face at their funeral, nobody she could point at with the question of who they were.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Hannah B sat down in Blair’s lap and Sterling smiled at the two of them. Since Nurse Browne mentioned April was going to be released from the hospital soon, Sterling couldn’t stop thinking about double dates. Ever since they went to Coney Island together, she wanted to hang out with April, Blair, and Hannah B again. They had such a great time and this time, Sterling could hold April’s hand way more and possibly even kiss her.</p><p>Ezekiel pulled up a chair next to April. Meanwhile, Sterling crawled under the sheets of her girlfriend’s one-person hospital bed, careful not to squish her or irritate her still-healing wounds. If the nurse walked in, she would get scolded for sure or maybe even banned to the hall, but Sterling already did this last night because April had asked her to and she couldn’t say no to her.</p><p>April lifted her good arm and drew Sterling closer.</p><p>Sterling’s insides turned to jelly when April kissed her on the nose and then pecked her lips, right in front of their friends. April was so brave and sweet and beautiful, and Sterling loved her to pieces.</p><p>“Girl, you’ll never guess who I ran into last night,” Ezekiel shared with a cheeky giggle. “Okay, so, I went to this hamburger joint to get a milkshake and fries, and Jennings is there, taking my order, right? But I forgot my wallet and told him I’d have to run home to get it, and he says it’s on him. I told him I’ll pay him back first thing before Fellowship and before I knew what happened, he writes down his number and tells me to pay him back with dinner next weekend, and I’m like…did you just ask me out? And he said yes.”</p><p>Sterling’s jaw dropped because wow, Willingham sure had a bunch of gay students, and Ellen, who was like a chaotic yet cool gay aunt slash guardian meets fairy godmother.</p><p>“Oh my God, dude,” Blair uttered, gasping and then grinning. “Do you like him though?”</p><p>“Does Hannah B think you’re a good kisser?” Ezekiel countered. “Girl, yes, of course, I said yes. My mother raised no fool.”</p><p>“You told him!?” Blair shouted at April, jaw slack. “That was supposed to be private. Ugh, I swear, if you weren’t in the hospital I’d…,” Blair grumbled, making a face. “Don’t smile at me, loser.”</p><p>April blew an air kiss. “Love you too,” she chuckled, winking at Blair.</p><p>“I didn’t say Blair’s a good kisser,” Hannah B perked up, “I said she’s a great kisser because she does that thing with her tongue-”</p><p>“Bee!” Blair interrupted, cheeks bright red. “Shush,” she muttered, avoiding eye-contact with the others.</p><p>“Make me,” Hannah B dared.</p><p>A flicker passed through Blair’s eyes. “That can be arranged,” she hummed, tangling her hand in Hannah B’s hair.</p><p>“You guys…,” April groaned, rolling her eyes when Ezekiel corrected her by saying, “gays.”</p><p>“Come on,” April whined, “not in front of my salad.”</p><p>Sterling laughed at their antics and she felt like someone had to pinch her because somehow, she ended up with two new friends who already felt like family in a very similar way to Blair being her sister. It didn’t seem real and yet it was, and Sterling couldn’t fathom how she got so lucky to have all of these wonderful people in her life.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April adjusted her bed to sit up straighter and smoothed the crinkles of her hospital gown as much as she could. She tied her hair in a neat ponytail while she practiced saying hello with a smile, but it didn’t stop the unusual fluttering in her stomach. Today was the day where she would get to go home and while she missed her cat, her house was otherwise empty, and she had no idea when, if at all, her mother would wake up.</p><p>Her stitches itched, but Nurse Browne showed April how she could change her own bandages from now on, although Sterling eagerly volunteered to do it for her. April had no issue with that, except her soulmate grew quite pale whenever she saw her wounds as though she could faint at any time. April wasn’t too fond of the reminder of that terrible night either, but she survived and she came out of the closet, and that was the part she chose to focus on the most.</p><p>“April, sweetie,” Nurse Browne said while she entered the room. “Your uncle is here.”</p><p>April nodded. “Okay,” she breathed out, unsure why she was so anxious to meet him.</p><p>So far, April learned her uncle was gay, considering the nurse mentioned a husband, which meant it was very unlikely for him to have an issue with her being a lesbian. But aside from that, he was a complete and total stranger, and what if he didn’t like her? What if he came here to erase his name as her next of kin?</p><p>April flinched when a man walked in. She gripped the sheets and for a moment, her brain convinced her that man wasn’t her uncle at all. He looked just like her father when she was ten. His hair was the same and his height was maybe five inches shorter than John’s.</p><p>April reached for her phone to text Sterling to come to her room, for support, but then another man entered and he looked nothing like her father at all, and he carried a toddler on his hip with chestnut hair divided into two braids. April put her phone aside, deciding to wait a bit longer before calling the cavalry.</p><p>“Hi there, April,” the John look-a-like said, but his voice had a softer vibrato and sounded warmer than John’s. “I’m your uncle Paul,” he introduced himself, “but everyone calls me Paulie.”</p><p>“Um…hi,” April managed, cracking a smile. “Paulie,” she added, wringing her hands together, unsure if she needed to add uncle or not.</p><p>“This is my husband, Kevin,” Paul continued, bobbing his head at the other man, who set the toddler down, “and this is your cousin, Juniper. June, baby, this is April. Can you say hello to her?”</p><p>The little girl stretched her arms up and smiled when Kevin lifted her onto the bed.</p><p>“Careful, baby,” Paul cautioned. “April has a booboo.”</p><p>April watched the child curiously and placed her at around three or four years old.</p><p>“Hi,” Juniper said to April, “I can count to ten.”</p><p>“Oh my,” April whispered, smiling at her cousin while she tried not to think of how she looked like she could be her sister. “That’s impressive. You must be very smart.”</p><p>“I have a dollhouse,” Juniper shared. “And a dog.”</p><p>“What’s your dog’s name?”</p><p>“He’s Charlie and he likes belly rubs and treats, and he’s big as a house.”</p><p>“Have you eaten anything yet?” Kevin asked April.</p><p>“Yes, sir,” April answered with a polite smile. “I ate lunch not long ago.”</p><p>“You don’t have to call me sir,” Kevin responded, smiling as well. “Kevin is fine.”</p><p>“We’ll stop by your house on the way, so you can pack your clothes,” Paul said suddenly. “You can take your time. We don’t have to be at the airport until five.”</p><p>“A-airport?” April questioned, frowning.</p><p>“Yes,” her uncle confirmed. “We live in Seattle. There are great schools over there, you’ll fit right in.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, so you might have noticed I added one more chapter. <br/>(Blame the ghost in the comments. They were curious about Ellen's story and I guess I aim to please sometimes.) </p><p>The next chapter is most likely definitely the final one.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seattle was known as the emerald city, with plenty of forests to get lost in and escape the rest of the world for a while. There were worse places to live, without a doubt, but to April, anywhere too far away from Sterling resembled the opposite of home.</p><p>A four-hour plane ride, Kevin had shared, which meant the commute was too big to go back and forth. April felt the information sink into her body as though it were lead, weighing her down. Half an hour ago, she was anxious in a good way to meet the family she never knew she had. But now she had this pit in her stomach and the idea of getting in a taxi, watching her soulmate grow shorter while she stared out of the back window of the vehicle as they drove away, destroyed her.</p><p>April wanted to be strong for her mother instead of making things harder by refusing to adapt, but moving two-thousand and six-hundred miles away was too much. The announcement alone was enough to trigger her flight response, to have Sterling and Blair sneak her out of the hospital and hide her somewhere, though logically, April knew that was a truly awful plan. And she was not a coward. She could fight this, the way she was taught to handle her battles.</p><p>“With all due respect…Paulie,” April spoke, raising her chin slightly, “as much as I appreciate your kind gesture of opening your doors to me,” she acknowledged, understanding she wasn’t the only one asked to be flexible in this manner, “I cannot move to Seattle. My life is right here, in Atlanta.”</p><p>“I wish we could stay in Atlanta a while,” Paul said, shaking his head with a pitiful smile. “Unfortunately, I have to work first thing tomorrow morning and June has school.”</p><p>“I can’t leave my soulmate or my friends,” April countered. “There has to be another way.”</p><p>“She has a soulmate,” Kevin whispered to Paul, but not quietly enough.</p><p>Paul nodded. “This complicates things,” he concluded with a sigh. “But she’s almost a senior. She doesn’t have to move in with us permanently.”</p><p>April swallowed because while it was true she would be a senior in a couple of months, she wasn’t prepared to say goodbye to Sterling for that long. And sure, admittedly they could spend time together during the summer vacation, but it wasn’t ideal. April wasn’t ready to let go for several weeks, see Sterling for a month or two, and then be forced to miss her again for several months until April finally turned eighteen.</p><p>Besides, her mother could wake up from her coma any day and when she did, April didn’t want to be on the other side of the country. Plus, it was silly to enroll in a new school when she was so close to graduating. Good school or not, it wouldn’t be Willingham and maybe her community wasn’t perfect, but this was her home. April wasn’t going anywhere unless they dragged her away, which sounded dramatic, but ever since that night at the park, nothing could tear her away from Sterling’s side, not even the internal homophobia April bottled up for years to hide her identity.</p><p>“I know you might not understand, but this isn’t some high school crush I’ll eventually get over,” April strengthened her defense. “Sterling is my soulmate. When she turned seventeen, ink appeared on our skin. It’s a rare phenomenon you might not have heard of, but I assure you it’s real.”</p><p>Paul and Kevin exchanged a smile with one another before Paul moved to stand next to April.</p><p>“We understand,” Paul uttered, smiling brighter. He rolled up his sleeve and held out his wrist where an anchor was tattooed, covered with flowers. “Kevin is my soulmate.”</p><p>“Emancipation!” April blurted out. Her timing was poor, but her idea wasn’t. “I could get emancipated, stay home,” she suggested with a pleading yet hopeful smile.</p><p>Paul shared another meaningful look with his husband. “I’ll have a word with the doctors to discuss a solution,” he informed April, patting her shoulder, frowning when she flinched. “Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, is that your injured shoulder?”</p><p>“I thought it was her other shoulder,” Kevin filled in. “Didn’t that sweet nurse say…?”</p><p>“It’s nothing,” April uttered with a tight-lipped smile. “Phantom pain, I guess,” she chuckled, though that wasn’t the reason why.</p><p>“We’ll be back soon,” April’s uncle promised. “Do you mind watching June?”</p><p>“I stay,” Juniper declared while she played with April’s hair. “My daddy and baba adopted me,” Juniper talked animatedly after her fathers left the room. “Will they adopted you too?”</p><p>“I’m your cousin, June bug.”</p><p>“What’s a cousin?”</p><p>“Mhmm, that’s a good question,” April smiled, booping the toddler’s nose with her finger. “It’s kind of like a sister, but with different parents.”</p><p>“You can have my room.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s very sweet of you, June bug,” April responded, delighted by her tiny cousin, yet not enough to change her mind about wanting to stay in Atlanta. “But then where would you sleep?”</p><p>“In the kitchen with Charlie and the cookie jar.”</p><p>“The cookie jar, hm?” April noted with a chuckle. “Sounds like you have an ulterior motive to give me your room.”</p><p>“Ultysis,” Juniper grinned, revealing two small teeth with a gap between them.</p><p>“Ulterior,” April repeated, a little slower this time. “It’s a very big word.”</p><p>“I’m a big girl,” Juniper huffed while she stood upright in the bed.</p><p>April held her cousin’s hand to ensure she didn’t fall and as those petite fingers wrapped around her thumb, she wondered if her uncle and his husband left their cute toddler with her on purpose. She wasn’t willing to move to Seattle, but she did want to smuggle Juniper home with her and introduce her to Sergeant Bilko.  </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sterling knocked twice before she entered April’s room, out of courtesy instead of storming in like usual, in case the uncle was there and thought she was a rude girl without any etiquette. Sterling saw April with a much tinier carbon copy of herself curled up on her lap, and the sight had her in awe, but what Sterling noticed the most was the lack of color on April’s face.</p><p>“Babe?” Sterling prompted with a frown. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”</p><p>Blair walked in as well and sighed deeply. “Hey, little nugget,” she whispered to the toddler. “I’m Blair. What’s your name?”</p><p>“Juniper,” the little girl answered, rubbing her eyes.</p><p>Blair stretched out her arms, scooping up Juniper. “Let’s go meet April’s friends,” Blair suggested to the sleepy girl. “One of them has gummy bears and I bet she’ll give you some if you say please.”</p><p>“Gummies!” Juniper squealed, kicking her legs back and forth.</p><p>“Don’t feed her too much sugar,” April cautioned. “I don’t want her getting a tummy ache.”</p><p>“Yes, mom,” Blair scoffed. “Your mini-me is adorable, by the way.”</p><p>“She’s not my mini-me,” April protested.</p><p>Sterling sighed dreamily at her girlfriend. “I love you,” she whispered, kissing April’s forehead, “you’re perfect.”</p><p>“Sooo…,” Sterling drawled once it was just the two of them. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“He looks like him,” April answered, swallowing audibly. “My uncle,” she clarified, grasping Sterling’s hand, “he looks like…my father. My uncle is a friendly man, or at least he seems to be, but when I see him I see my father and I can’t…” April’s eyes grew wet. “I can’t live with him. I can’t move to Seattle. I can’t wake up every morning and see his face. The idea, it…it scares me. And I know they’re not one and the same, and I’m not judging him on his appearance, I just…Am I crazy?”</p><p>“What?” Sterling whispered, shaking her head. “April, no, you’re not crazy,” she assured, caressing her girlfriend’s hand. “You went through a very traumatizing experience. Your fear is absolutely valid and not something to brush aside like it’s nothing.”</p><p>“Wait,” Sterling blinked. “Seattle?” she repeated with a frown. “You’re moving to Seattle?”</p><p>Sterling worked her jaw. She had so many questions about the whole Seattle thing, but she needed to focus on April’s health first. The fact April’s uncle looked like John was disturbing, though not his fault. But still, it didn’t take a doctor or a medical degree of any kind to understand something like that was bound to have repercussions.</p><p>“I’m worried about you, April,” Sterling shared in earnest. “I don’t think your recovery ends when your wounds heal, not your physical wounds at least. I feel like you’re hurt on the inside too and I’m not saying you have ptsd because obviously, I wouldn’t know because I’m not a doctor or a therapist, but I’m also like not…not saying it,” she explained to the best of her abilities, in a bit of a stunted way due to being caught off guard.</p><p>In hindsight, Sterling should have known what happened would leave more than visible scars. But they hadn’t talked much about that night at the park because it was a painful subject she wasn’t fond of bringing up either. And maybe she made a mistake by not checking if her girlfriend wanted or needed to vent.</p><p>“I’m not a soldier, Sterl,” April replied with a dry chuckle. “I’m sure it’s fine. It might be a harmless reflex.”</p><p>Sterling sighed. “April…”</p><p>“I’ll let Nurse Browne know.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Sterling hummed, kissing April’s forehead.</p><p>Sterling’s eyes widened when April’s uncle walked in and in a split second, her mind jumped right back to that night at the park where John pointed his gun at her. Wow, no wonder April was whiter than her sheet. But the closer Sterling looked at the man, the more she noticed differences between him and John. That man was definitely shorter by nearly half a head and there were specks of gold in his eyes. Oh, and his smile didn’t look like he killed bunnies for sport, unlike John who had this evil ‘I will feast on your blood’ kind of smile.</p><p>“I may have found a solution,” April’s uncle said.</p><p>April entwined her fingers with Sterling’s. “Yes?” April inquired and the hope in her voice made Sterling want to hold her and never let go.</p><p>“The solution found us, Pookie,” another man spoke as he entered.</p><p>Sterling snorted and quickly covered her mouth. “Sorry,” she mumbled, meanwhile April bit back a smile Sterling saw in her eyes anyway.</p><p>“Which solution have you found, Poo – Paulie?” April questioned, jabbing Sterling’s side with the tip of her finger when Sterling laughed.</p><p>Sterling squirmed because it tickled, but she couldn’t un-hear John’s doppelganger’s nickname was Pookie, and just hearing it again in her head made her laugh all over again.</p><p>“You’re unbelievable,” April muttered. “Paulie, Kevin,” she said with a sigh, “this piece of work is my soulmate, Sterling.”</p><p>“Hey!” Sterling gasped and for a second she felt tempted to joke about letting them take April to Seattle, but she decided the topic was too sensitive for that. “Nice to meet you,” Sterling said with a smile purely out of politeness and pookieness. “So, um, in case you were wondering where your daughter is, she’s with my very responsible sister, who has babysat…living beings…before.”</p><p>Dogs were technically living beings, right?</p><p>“Moody teenager with a bone to pick with my brother?” Paulie responded. “I believe we’ve met.”</p><p>Sterling winced. “I’m sorry, sir,” she whispered while she hoped Blair used her words instead of her fists, but April’s uncle wasn’t walking around with an ice pack and she didn’t hear any shouting, so it was probably fine.</p><p>“It’s quite alright,” Paulie uttered before turning to April. “There is one more person willing to be your temporary guardian,” he informed April, who instantly smiled.</p><p>“I can stay in Atlanta?” April checked, sharing a smile with Sterling when Paulie nodded. “W-who is it…?” April inquired, which was a good question.</p><p>“Your mother’s emergency contact,” Paulie answered, “she overheard us speaking with Nurse Browne and volunteered. If you consent to this solution, I’ll happily arrange the paperwork.”</p><p>“We only want what’s best for you, April,” Kevin added. “And my husband and I want to apologize for the fright we might have caused.”</p><p>“You haven’t done anything wrong,” April responded. “It’s not your fault you happen to live in Seattle. As for your solution, I accept, if it’s no trouble for Ellen.”</p><p>Sterling was so happy her girlfriend wasn’t going anywhere that she couldn’t contain herself and kissed April on the lips. She tried to keep it brief because they weren’t alone, but then Sterling felt April’s hand on the back of her neck, holding her close, so she more than willingly obliged to kiss April some more. Sterling wasn’t sure how much time went by and it didn’t matter to her, but she did pull away when she heard Blair clearing her throat.</p><p>“So, Bee loves kids,” Blair announced. “I have to admit your mini-me might be the cutest kid in the world,” she told April, while Paulie and Kevin thanked her.</p><p>“She’s not my mini-me,” April groaned once more. “She’s my cousin.”</p><p>“But she looks just like you,” Blair countered. “Back me up here, Sterl.”</p><p>“Are you saying you think my girlfriend is the cutest in the world?” Sterling mused with a chuckle.</p><p>“What? No…no, that’s not…,” Blair huffed.</p><p>“Hmm,” April hummed, eyes twinkling while she grinned. “So from everything you told me…,” she said to Blair, “I got the impression that you love me and that you think I’m cute.”</p><p>“It’s not fair when you team up against me,” Blair replied, handing the toddler back to her parents. “If you need me, text me,” she informed Sterling, “Bowser wants to see me.”</p><p>Sterling gripped her sister’s arm. “You’re going bounty hunting?” she asked through their twin telepathy.</p><p>Blair shook her head. “Not today, he just wants to talk about stuff,” she answered, shrugging a shoulder.</p><p>Sterling shifted her focus when her sister left and smiled at the toddler chewing on a gummy bear, surprised how similar the tiny girl was to April like they could be sisters. Sterling wondered if it was just because Paulie looked so much like John or if the Stevens family had some huge secret, too. Although she supposed the fact April had a gay uncle she never knew was the big surprise the Stevens family kept buried.</p><p>Sometimes coincidences happened. But if April ever went somewhere with Juniper, Sterling bet people would tell her that her sister was cute or that they would assume April was a teen mom. That last thought was crazy though, April was too young to have a kid. But the whole mini-me comment Blair didn’t let go of stuck with Sterling as well and she kind of had a bunch of questions for Paulie and Kevin how they went about having a child, but she didn’t want to be rude.</p><p>Sterling filed her curiosity away for another day, for when she and April might need it, sometime after college.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April couldn’t wait to go home and sleep in her bed, but when she arrived and passed the threshold, she couldn’t push herself further inside. Her feet refused to move another step forward and when she tried harder, her chest hurt. She shut her eyes, breathing in, but instead of tranquility, she found discomfort. Her home wasn’t the same without her mother present and when she looked at the door, she feared her father might enter any moment to finish what he started.</p><p>Logically, April knew he was in prison now and the odds of him getting out were slim, but she also knew that this would be the first place he would check if he somehow escaped or bribed a reckless guard. So rather than staying in a house tainted by the man who used to treat her like a princess, April put Sergeant Bilko in his carrier, and took him along with a suitcase full of clothes with her, to their new temporary home.</p><p>“I know this isn’t what we agreed upon,” April said, shuffling from one leg onto the other, putting her cat’s cage down to give her injured shoulder a break from the weight. “I can’t go home, not yet. Is it okay if I stay here?”</p><p>Ellen’s eyebrows knitted together. She had one arm stuck in her jacket and a purse dangled from the other as if she was about to head out and meet April at her house like she had said she would.</p><p>“Yes, of course, sweetheart,” Ellen replied, opening her door wider. She reached out for Sergeant Bilko. “I’ll put some clean sheets on my bed. You’ll need your rest.”</p><p>April tilted her head to the side. “Your bed?” she whispered, eyes widening. “You don’t have a guestroom.”</p><p>Gosh, she should have never assumed Ellen had a spare bedroom when she lived in an apartment. Ellen mentioned before her place was tiny, but April thought that by tiny she meant cozy with just enough space to receive a guest. Perhaps she didn’t think this through and maybe she could sleep in her own bed without having a nightmare. Her front door had an extra lock and she could buy more tomorrow, or have someone over to replace the lock altogether and add security for the windows.</p><p>“I’ll sleep on the couch,” Ellen said while she let Sergeant Bilko loose.</p><p>“I can sleep on the couch,” April suggested. “A blanket and a pillow are all I need.”</p><p>“Pish posh, I’m your guardian and you’re still healing,” Ellen pointed out. “You need my bed more than I do and I fall asleep on my couch most nights anyway.”</p><p>“You’re too kind,” April smiled. “How can I ever repay you?” she pondered out loud.</p><p>“It’s my pleasure to help you. You don’t owe me a single thing.”</p><p>April considered buying a box of chocolates for Ellen, but it seemed like such a silly gift and not nearly enough to express her gratitude to the woman who sat by her mother’s bedside every day and continued to do so, and opened her doors when April struggled to go home.</p><p>April sat down on the couch for a minute, overwhelmed by everything that happened in the last twenty-four hours. She wiped her tears away the second they escaped her eyes, but those bastards kept coming. Her cat jumped up on the couch, butting her arm, and then Ellen moved to sit with her as well, and April hated how she couldn’t stop crying.</p><p>She had to get it together and go home as soon as possible. April could call someone in the morning and have an alarm installed and a motion detector on the driveway. She could install a couple of locks on her bedroom door as well and request the police call her in the events John happens to no longer be in prison for whatever reason.</p><p>“Take your time, sweetheart,” Ellen hushed, holding out a box of tissues. “Let it all out,” she whispered, caressing April’s back.</p><p>When April realized the touch didn’t make her flinch, while her uncle’s had, she cried harder.</p><p>April reached for a tissue and dabbed her eyes. “I’m not okay,” she admitted, partially to herself and partially to her current guardian. “I think I’m broken.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, this wasn't the last chapter after all. The next one will be the last.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is it, folks. This is the final chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ugh!” Blair grumbled while she threw her pillow across the room. “You suck!”</p><p>Sterling sat up. “Are you talking to me or your pillow?”</p><p>“I hope that bastard rots in prison and catches food poisoning or something,” Blair huffed while she stomped through their bedroom. She picked up her pillow and tossed it to the other side. “This is all because of him!”</p><p>Sterling slid her legs off her bed. “What happened?” she questioned, frowning while she put a hand on her sister’s shoulder.</p><p>“Bowser booted us,” Blair muttered, “said we can’t chase skips anymore because it’s too dangerous or whatever. He fired us. Can you believe that?”</p><p>Sterling’s lips parted. “I’m sorry,” she uttered, casting her eyes down for a second. “I know how much our job meant to you.”</p><p>“We have to convince him he’s making a mistake,” Blair insisted. “If we go see him together, we can tell him he needs us. We have to-”</p><p>“I’m done bounty hunting,” Sterling blurted out.</p><p>Blair staggered back, cheeks growing pale. She stared at Sterling like she had grown a second head or spouted the biggest nonsense ever.</p><p>Sterling knew this wasn’t what her sister wanted to hear, but her heart was no longer in bounty hunting and while she liked chasing kips, and the adrenaline rush of it all, she had her doubts about quitting before. April worried about her safety, rightfully so, as last month proved, and Sterling felt it was time to pick something she wouldn’t have to hide from her parents. Something common, like waiting tables or delivering newspapers, which wasn’t exciting by any means, but wouldn’t result in bruises or the occasional cut.</p><p>Besides, Sterling had big plans for college and if she wanted to get there, she needed the best grades she could get, which meant more studying and less free time. She couldn’t continue chasing skips at night forever, especially not on school nights.</p><p>“I should have told you sooner,” Sterling confessed. “I just…I can’t anymore. And I understand if you kind of hate me now for springing this on you.”</p><p>Sterling wanted to support her sister and she would in any way possible, but she wasn’t interested in getting her job as a bounty hunter back, not yet anyway. But she could totally vouch for Blair.</p><p>“Hate you?” Blair huffed. “I’m not happy we can’t kick ass together anymore and I might be mad at you later, but I don’t hate you. I almost lost you…twice. Nothing you do can make me hate you. I love you more than anyone in the world.”</p><p>Sterling blinked away a tear. “I love you more than anyone, too,” she whispered, pulling her sister into a bone-crushing hug.</p><p>“More than April?”</p><p>“Yes,” Sterling sighed, “but don’t tell her I said that.”</p><p>“My lips are sealed, sis,” Blair replied, zipping her mouth shut with her fingers, smiling.</p><p>Sterling narrowed her eyes, not entirely convinced her sister wouldn’t throw it at April the first chance she got just to tease unless she invoked their sacred twin swear.</p><p>“Girls!” their father called out from downstairs. “Ms. Johnson is on the phone for y’all!”</p><p>“Ms. Johnson?” Sterling and Blair whispered at the same time, frowning at one another.</p><p>“What if something happened with April?” Sterling said while she scrambled toward the door. “She could’ve ripped her stitches or fallen down the stairs or maybe it’s her mother or-”</p><p>“Breathe, Sterl,” Blair urged.</p><p>“Right…air,” Sterling nodded.</p><p>Sterling made her way down the stairs while her mind raced with all the possible scenarios why Ellen found it necessary to call, but none of them turned out to be accurate when ten minutes later, Sterling packed her pajamas. Going on a sleepover, in Ellen’s apartment of all places, was not how Sterling imagined her night ending. And she definitely didn’t think Blair would tag along, but her sister kind of had to.</p><p>When Ellen told Sterling on the phone how she thought April would sleep better with Sterling there, she had to ask permission from her parents first, and her mother said she could on two conditions. Hence, Blair had to keep an eye on Sterling or whatever.</p><p>Sterling chewed her lip for most of the drive and she used to think Ellen was pretty oblivious, but Ms. Johnson was the one who called to sound the alarm April really wasn’t okay, so maybe not. Sterling wished she hadn’t left her girlfriend’s side at all. She should have gone with her when April went home.</p><p>The elevator in the building was rather small. It only took two steps to get from one side to the other, but there was no way she was taking the stairs. She preferred getting up there with her lungs still intact and by walking the remaining steps instead of crawling toward the door.</p><p>“Fifth floor…,” Sterling recalled while her index finger slid over the buttons to press the right one.</p><p>When the doors swished open, Sterling found herself running because she was so close to April now, and suddenly she felt like she couldn’t get there fast enough. Quicker than taking the stairs though, no doubt. She curled her fingers into a fist and rapped her knuckles against the wooden door.</p><p>“Hi there, Sterling,” Ellen greeted with a big smile. “Where’s your sister?” she asked, leaning her head out of the door, peering out into the hall.</p><p>“She’s taking the stairs,” Sterling answered, although she wasn’t sure why on earth her sister decided sore legs topped squeezing into the elevator.</p><p>“Oh, getting her steps in, is she?” Ellen noted. “Come on in, I’ll leave the door open.”</p><p>Sterling entered the apartment and whereas Bowser’s place was messy and lacked decoration, Ellen’s place was the opposite. The counter in the kitchen was spotless, plants hung from the windows, and there were paintings all over the walls. Everything was immaculate, except for one pillow on the couch which was covered in pet hairs. Sterling soon found the guilty one when Sergeant Bilko brushed past her leg.</p><p>“I’m here!” Blair announced loudly and out of breath. “I…may have…under – wow – underestimated…those effin…stairs,” she panted with her hands on her knees.</p><p>“I take the stairs every day,” Ellen announced. “We can take them together tomorrow.”</p><p>“Great…,” Blair murmured. “Can’t wait.”</p><p>“You know,” Sterling commented, “there’s a perfectly fine eleva-”</p><p>“Sterl?”</p><p>Sterling spun around on the heel of her foot. “April,” she responded, smiling at her girlfriend while she met her halfway for a hug. “I got you, babe,” she whispered in April’s ear, caressing her back, “I’m here. I got you.”</p><p>“I feel ridiculous,” April chuckled when she cried. “I’ve always been in control and now I’m not. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’ve never felt so…so…I don’t know…helpless.”</p><p>Sterling took April’s hands in hers. “We’ll figure it out together,” Sterling promised with a kind smile.</p><p>“Together,” April repeated, nodding.</p><p>“Together,” Sterling swore, kissing both of April’s hands.</p><p>No matter what life tossed their way, Sterling was ready to face it with April, now and always.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April wasn’t sure what was the most awkward. The fact that it was silent while they were awake like neither one of them knew what to say or where to begin, or the fact that she was snuggled up between Sterling and Blair. But then Blair ran her fingers through April’s hair and that took the crown.</p><p>April furrowed her brows. “Why are you combing your fingers through my hair?” she questioned when Blair continued on with her strange motion, indicating there wasn’t anything stuck in her hair, unlike that time at school where April had a Dorito in her hair.</p><p>“It relaxes me,” Blair hummed. “Does it bother you?”</p><p>“I suppose not,” April whispered, shifting her gaze from the older twin to her soulmate.</p><p>“Hi,” Sterling smiled. “Are you comfy?”</p><p>“As comfy as one can be in the middle of a sandwich.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry,” Sterling uttered, pressing her teeth together, “am I squeezing you too much?”</p><p>April wasn’t sure how she ended up between those inseparable dummies, though she assumed it was a part of Sterling protecting her and roping her sister along. Then again, technically it was Mrs. Wesley who insisted on Blair to accompany Sterling. April’s future mother-in-law was also the reason why the bedroom door was open and why April saw Ellen’s shadow creeping close every ten minutes or so, before disappearing again.</p><p>Despite the taken measurements, April was more than grateful Ellen arranged this odd little sleepover. She did feel less jumpy with Sterling by her side and after the month she spent at the hospital with Sterling close to her every night, April couldn’t imagine sleeping alone. Starting tomorrow night, she would have to of course, but lately, it made a lot of sense to her why Blair was so attached to Sterling’s hip. April worried the past weeks created a codependency that bordered on unhealthy, although it was entirely possible it was purely circumstantial and therefore temporary.</p><p>“So that Juniper kid is your family, huh?” Blair mumbled around a yawn as if she refused to fall asleep first. “How old is she?”</p><p>“Three,” April answered, though she didn’t see how that was in any way relevant. “And she is my cousin, not my mini-me,” she reminded the older twin with a huff. “I believe I would know if I birthed any children, which I did not.”</p><p>“You’re in a snippy mood,” Blair commented, withdrawing her fingers from April’s hair.</p><p>“Blair!” Sterling whisper-shouted.</p><p>April slowly exhaled. As much as Blair annoyed her sometimes, she was right. April did bite and she hadn’t meant to.</p><p>“My uncle and his husband adopted Juniper,” April shared. “At least…,” she added in afterthought, “that’s what June bug told me.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Blair hummed, squinting her eyes. “Don’t you think it’s odd-”</p><p>“Blaaaiiirr,” Sterling groaned, propping herself up on her elbow.</p><p>Blair mirrored Sterling and then they simply stared at each other in silence while seconds ticked by. April watched their expressions shift from furrowed brows to a wriggle of their nose and a slight curve of their lips.</p><p>“Fine,” Blair mumbled, sighing.</p><p>“Children that young don’t lie,” April reasoned, and while she didn’t give the resemblance between Juniper and her much thought before, the fact the older twin couldn’t shut up about it made her question the odds.</p><p>Juniper did look a lot like April, so much so she could dig up an old photograph of herself, hold it right next to the toddler and not spot a difference. Initially, she assumed her uncle was Juniper’s biological father, but Juniper’s statement proved that wasn’t the case. April did hear everyone presumably had a doppelganger somewhere in the world, but it remained curious. Although it was possible Juniper interpreted things wrong and that Paulie was her biological father after all.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Blair said, “forget I said anything.”</p><p>“Soo…,” Sterling drawled. “Who wants a bedtime story?”</p><p>“Oh lord,” April whispered, shutting her eyes for a moment.</p><p>“I’d sing a song but I don’t think you’d like me to.”</p><p>“I’ll sing one,” Blair offered.</p><p>“Screaming isn’t singing,” Sterling huffed.</p><p>“I recorded a song in a studio. I’m basically a professional,” Blair claimed, “which you would’ve known if you were there.”</p><p>“If I was there you wouldn’t have recorded a song at all, so you’re welcome.”</p><p>“You two are unbelievable,” April sighed. “If you’re going to bicker for a bit, you may as well do it in silence.”</p><p>“Shhhh,” Blair whispered, pressing a finger against April’s lips, “the grown-ups are talking.”</p><p>“I will push you out of this bed, don’t tempt me.”</p><p>“Hush little baby,” Blair laughed while she sang. “Don’t – ow,” she uttered, rubbing her shoulder which April punched. “Hey, guess what Sterling told me.”</p><p>“Blair, no,” Sterling spoke up.</p><p>“Blair, yes,” April countered. “Do tell.”</p><p>“Once upon a time…,” Blair began with a grin on her face. “Your soulmate told me….”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The butter sizzled in the pan and once it melted, Sterling filled the ladle with dough and poured it out to bake the first of many perfectly golden brown pancakes, like the ones from the picture in the cookbook. She got up super early to buy the ingredients and while she had no experience with food beyond eating it, the book said it was very easy.</p><p>It didn’t say anything about the flour that clung to her clothes and the mess she made on the counter, but she could clean all of that before Ellen fainted at the sight of her spotless kitchen no longer being clean. Plus, Sterling got coffee from Starbucks, the one with sugar, soya milk, and a little bit of caramel that she heard Ellen talking about once, a few weeks back. And it wasn’t bribery, except that it kind of was.</p><p>But mainly, Sterling wanted to do something nice for Ms. Johnson that doubled as an excuse to make breakfast in bed for April, something Sterling had wished to do for ages now. In hindsight, she could have purchased breakfast, but making it herself had ‘I love you’ written all over it while breakfast from a shop somewhere was less personal.</p><p>While her first pancake baked, Sterling grabbed a slice of bread and used her fingers to make a smiley face. She popped the bread in the toaster and rushed to the pan to flip her pancake before it burned. Sterling held her breath as she poked the pancake, fearing she ruined it because people said the first one usually wound up in the garbage, even when someone was a great baker, but she exhaled when the dough was nicely golden brown.</p><p>It didn’t stick to the pan and Sterling managed to flip it over without it breaking. With a smile, she went through the cupboards to grab four plates and four glasses.</p><p>“I thought love was only true in fairy tales,” Sterling sang while she shook her hips and busted moves with her arms. “Meant for someone else but not for me,” she continued, humming pieces.</p><p>Sterling lifted the pan and slid the pancake onto a plate before putting it down and pouring fresh batter onto the hot surface. “Na na na…all my dreeeaaams,” she sang as she got more into the song.</p><p>“And then I saw her face!” Sterling smiled, but then winced at her volume. “Now I’m a believer,” she whispered, bopping her head to the beat. “Not a tra-”</p><p>“Good morning.”</p><p>Sterling dropped the ladle and jumped up. “El- Miss Johnson, hi…hi, good morning,” she replied, ducking down to pick up the ladle and rinse it in the sink. “I’ll, um, clean…,” she trailed off, blinking when Ellen grabbed a bucket and a mop.</p><p>While Sterling baked pancakes and spilled some of the batter here and there, Ellen cleaned everything to the point where someone could eat off of the floor.</p><p>“I’m going to the hospital,” Ellen said after she put the bucket and the mop away. “You girls take care and call me if you need anything.”</p><p>“Will do, Miss Johnson,” Sterling responded with a nod. “But, um, before you go…I got you coffee from Starbucks,” she revealed while she held out the cup, hoping it hadn’t gone cold.</p><p>“You’re a saint,” Ellen smiled, accepting the cup before she left.</p><p>Sterling opened a carton of orange juice and filled up three glasses, putting the fourth back in the cupboard. She considered making fresh juice, but she had no idea how many oranges it took, and she didn’t want to push her luck. It was kind of a miracle she hadn’t burned any of the pancakes or the toast.</p><p>“Mhmm, morning,” Blair spoke, dragging her feet into the kitchen. “You woke up…hwah… early,” she mumbled around a yawn.</p><p>Sterling flipped the pancake on the pan by tossing it up in the air and grinned when she caught it. “I slept great,” she said with a smile because sharing a bed with her two favorite people in the world felt surreal yet it happened.</p><p>“How was your sleep?” Sterling questioned, facing her sister.</p><p>“Oh, would you look at the time,” Blair said with a light gasp while she stared at her bare wrist. “I have to go do important things that need to be done that I’m going to do so they’re done so I don’t have to do them later because they’ll be done.”</p><p>Sterling opened her mouth, but she wasn’t sure what to say because her mind hadn’t quite processed Blair’s words yet and before she had a chance to form any words at all, her sister shut the door behind her, leaving her all alone in Ellen’s apartment. Well, alone with April, who was in the shower, unaware Ms. Johnson and Blair left.</p><p>April entered the kitchen just when Sterling finished cooking, padding in with fuzzy bunny slippers that looked about two sizes too big and likely belonged to Ellen or April’s mother.</p><p>“Ellen’s not here and Blair left,” Sterling announced. “She said something about things she had to do and… do and do…do.”</p><p>April wrinkled her nose. “Do do do?”</p><p>“Baby shark,” Sterling whispered, humming the rest in her head.</p><p>April chuckled while she closed the space between them. “Are you saying it’s just us?” she questioned, caressing the back of her index finger down the slope of Sterling’s jaw.</p><p>“Y-yes,” Sterling responded, leaning her head down to minimize the distance. “And I made you breakfast…pancakes and toast.”</p><p>“Did you now?” April hummed, kissing Sterling’s neck. “It smells delicious in here,” April moaned, fingers skating up Sterling’s arms, winding hers around Sterling’s neck. “I wish I could wake up like this every morning,” April sighed dreamily, smiling.</p><p>“Someday you will,” Sterling replied, smiling as well. “We’ll have this and so much more, babe.”</p><p>“Call me old-fashioned, but I wouldn’t mind a domestic wife.”</p><p>“Breakfast in bed every day it is, wifey,” Sterling promised with a chuckle.</p><p>April’s eyes softened and Sterling found herself melting just by looking at them, drinking in how beautiful her soulmate was. April’s hair was a bit damp from the shower and a few forgotten droplets had made their way down her shoulders, causing her to shudder. And when she did, she arched her back, pressing herself closer against Sterling.</p><p>“Mhmm, wifey,” April whispered, smiling brighter.</p><p>Sterling cupped April’s butt and hoisted her up the counter. “Looks like my breakfast is ready, too,” Sterling mused with a chuckle.</p><p>April guffawed. “Stop,” she laughed, slapping Sterling lightly on her arm, “you’re terrible.”</p><p>Sterling pouted but smiled when April grasped her chin between her thumb and her index finger while gazing into her eyes like tomorrow didn’t exist. April started leaning in and so did Sterling, meeting each other somewhere in the middle.</p><p>April’s tongue tasted like peppermint when their kiss deepened and when Sterling inhaled, she smelled the coconut shampoo her girlfriend must have used in the shower.</p><p>“Delicious,” Sterling breathed out, licking her lips when their kiss broke. “May I have some more, please?”</p><p>“As much as you want, Twist,” April answered with a teasing smile.</p><p>Sterling carefully snaked her arms around April’s waist and helped her down from the counter to dance with her because, for some reason, Sterling really wanted to twirl April around and catch her in her arms. And when Sterling caught her girlfriend, she kissed her like today was the beginning of their happily ever after.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>April tugged at the lapels of her leather jacket while she took in her surroundings. The various lights were beautiful in the dark and in the distance she heard the clacking of wooden balls. She pushed her sleeve up and glanced at her watch, noting it was a minute before seven, right on time then.</p><p>“Hey, April!” Sterling called out, waving her arms back and forth. “We’re over here!”</p><p>April flung her arms around Sterling’s neck the second she reached her. “My mother woke up,” April cried, crushing her soulmate tighter, despite her body warning her to take it easy. “Nurse Browne said they’ll keep her for another week, for observation, and then she gets to come home. My mother is coming home soon.”</p><p>“That’s wonderful news, babe,” Sterling responded while she caressed April’s back, “I’m so happy for you.”</p><p>“She’s going to be okay,” April whispered, still slightly in disbelief and waiting for someone to pinch her to let her know she wasn’t dreaming like the other times where she suddenly woke up and realized it was all in her head.</p><p>“I’m happy for you, shortstop,” Blair smiled, patting April’s head.</p><p>April shoved the grinning twin aside. “Don’t mess up my hair, beanstalk,” she warned with a light huff.</p><p>“Can I hug you or does it hurt?” Hannah B asked, chewing her lip.</p><p>“You can hug me,” April answered, opening her arms. “But not too tight, my stomach is a bit sore.”</p><p>“What?” Sterling gasped. “You just hugged the wind out of my lungs!” she protested with crossed arms. “You have to take better care of yourself, babe.”</p><p>April leaned up on her tippy toes to kiss her soulmate’s pouting lips, genuinely confused when Sterling gaped at her until it dawned on her they were in a public place.</p><p>“Oh,” April whispered, touching her fingers to her lips. “Do you not want me to in pub-”</p><p>Sterling placed a hand on the back of April’s neck, leaned down, and captured her lips in a warm kiss. It was sweet and soft and April forget about everything else for a while, solely focused on her soulmate. Nobody interrupted their moment and when they parted, April noticed their friends stood around them in a circle, shielding them from curious eyes.</p><p>Such precautions were unnecessary, but April didn’t blame them for being careful and seeking to avoid incidents. Strangers were unpredictable and homophobes were capable of terrible deeds toward those they didn’t approve of.</p><p>“We’re about to play laser tag,” Blair announced. “You game?”</p><p>“Sure, why not,” April agreed.</p><p>April held Sterling’s hand and when her soulmate smiled at her, April felt strengthened in her recent decisions. Her upcoming senior year was bound to look much different than her junior year. There would be no more closet. No more hiding her relationship with Sterling at Willingham. April also intended to get a job to pay for dates and the therapist Nurse Browne referred her to, and to create a buffer in case she didn’t get a scholarship.</p><p>It was a lot, but with the support of her soulmate and her friends, April knew she would come out stronger in the end. Together, they could build an alliance for queer students and bring awareness because April doubted those silly goons she was about to play laser tag with were the only gay kids at school. Oh, she also wanted to take down the patriarchy of prom, which was flawed and terribly outdated. Their school had the archaic tradition where boys had to ask out girls and where at the end a prom king and a prom queen were crowned.</p><p>April did want that crown, but not if Sterling wasn’t up there on the stage with her. To hell with tradition. April fully planned on wearing her finest suit and charm her soulmate with the best promposal in the history of promposals. Okay, some traditions weren't all that awful. Not the romantic ones anyway.</p><p>“Hey,” Sterling said, poking April’s cheek with the tip of her finger, which was her way of nudging April’s side. “Penny for your thoughts?” Sterling asked, poking once more, going for April’s other cheek this time.</p><p>April swatted her soulmate’s hand away. “I was thinking about the future,” she hummed, leaning up to kiss the underside of Sterling’s jaw.</p><p>Sterling’s eyes filled with awe. “Do you daydream about the family we’ll have, too?” she whispered, smiling brightly. “I keep seeing you next to me when we’re old,” she confessed with a blush. “We have daughters and they’re twins, and we have grandchildren, and Blair has twins too, and we’re all together for Christmas. You knitted this big blanket for some reason and I helped, but my stitches aren’t as good as yours. I guess maybe you have more experience with stitches, huh?”</p><p>April’s jaw dropped. “Sterling Pearl Wesley,” she laughed while Sterling ducked her head. “Making jokes now, are we?” April noted with a shake of her head. “I might have to reconsider marrying you someday.”</p><p>“You’re right, that was way too soon,” Sterling nodded, sucking her teeth. “So, um, what are you doing this summer?”</p><p>“Hmm, this summer…,” April whispered. “Spend time with you,” she answered naturally. “You..,” she added with a wink.</p><p>“Don’t forget to wear protection, kids,” Blair grinned.</p><p>“And kill your sister, apparently,” April sighed, glaring at the eavesdropper. “I think that pretty much sums it up.”</p><p>“Oooh, ooh, ooh,” Hannah B cooed. “We should go on a road trip!”</p><p>“Heck yeah, road trip!” Blair chimed in. “I’ll drive and-”</p><p>“Um,” Sterling interrupted, wincing. “I’m trying to grow old with my soulmate so I kind of need to avoid cliff diving.”</p><p>“At least I keep my eyes on the road,” Blair countered with a huff.</p><p>“You ran over all of mom’s garden gnomes last week.”</p><p>“Ladies, ladies,” Ezekiel cut in while he positioned his body between the twins. “Jennings can drive, he has a van.”</p><p>“My mom bought it for me,” Jennings shared.</p><p>“Shocking,” Blair muttered. “I mean…good for you, dude. That’s neat and stuff, but don’t bring her with you.”</p><p>“No parents,” Sterling agreed.</p><p>“No parents,” Jennings repeated, nodding before turning to face Blair, fist mid-air. “We cool?”</p><p>Blair bumped Jennings’ fist with hers. “Yeah, dude,” Blair responded, grinning. “So long as you don’t crush Ezekiel’s heart I won’t have to crush your face. Welcome to the club by the way. Are you bi?”</p><p>“Pan,” Jennings corrected. “And, uh, I’m not a guy. I like painting my nails and sometimes I wear a skirt when I’m home alone, but I’m not a girl either. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching since we broke up and I learned a bunch of stuff about myself. And I’m like… non-binary.”</p><p>“Oh,” Blair whispered. “What are your pronouns?”</p><p>“They and them.”</p><p>Hannah B blinked. “I don’t get it.”</p><p>“I’ll explain later,” Ezekiel told Hannah B, patting her shoulder. “I’m proud of you,” he said to Jennings, “and I didn’t mean to misgender you earlier.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Jennings replied, “I hadn’t told you yet, but y’all seem chill and my mom said I should be myself.”</p><p>“Your mother’s right,” Blair nodded. “Being yourself is the best you can be.”</p><p>“I’ll toast to that,” Sterling spoke up. “With…with a non-alcoholic drink,” she added while her eyes flitted between April and the others.</p><p>April didn’t necessarily mind if Sterling wished to drink alcohol, as long as she did so in moderation. There were worse sins than sipping wine during dinner or emptying a plastic cup filled with cheap beer. If April could get her hands on a drink, she wouldn’t pass up the opportunity. It might help her with her sanity in the same way her mother often nursed a glass when life was rough.</p><p>The conversation moved back to the road trip, which was apparently a thing that was officially happening. April listened while her friends and the love of her life discussed the idea. It didn’t matter to her where they were going as long as they were going there together. When they mentioned camping, her skin curled, but sleeping in a tent with Sterling was still infinitely better than sleeping alone in her bed. And with some luck, Blair would get eaten by a bear.</p><p>“Who’s ready to play some laser tag?” Sterling asked the group, rubbing her hands together, winking at April.</p><p>A smile tugged at April’s lips because she had a strong suspicion she knew exactly what her soulmate wanted to do in those dark halls. There were good corners in there, perfect for kissing without being spotted, and she didn’t apply chapstick tonight for nothing.</p><p>“You’re going down, losers,” Blair laughed while she intertwined her fingers with Hannah B’s.</p><p>“Puh-lease,” Ezekiel responded, “I’m a pro.”</p><p>“Last duo standing wins bragging rights,” Blair suggested, “and they get to choose the destination of our road trip.”</p><p>April held out her right hand, palm down. “Sterl and I are the best team,” she voiced, strong and confident. “No offense,” she added, shrugging at Blair.</p><p>“She’s right,” Sterling chimed in, putting her hand on top of April’s. “I’m sorry, but she is,” Sterling said to Blair, but the older twin didn’t seem fazed in the slightest.</p><p>“I think me and Ezekiel are the best team,” Hannah B uttered.</p><p>“Your project didn’t get an A-plus,” April reminded her best friend while Ezekiel pointed out it was <em>‘Ezekiel and me’</em> rather than <em>‘me and Ezekiel.’</em></p><p>“Hey!” Blair objected. “You’re in my team, Bee.”</p><p>“Oh,” Hannah B whispered, eyebrows crinkling. “Are we going to win?”</p><p>Blair face-palmed and shook her head. “You’re lucky your lips are divine or I just might team up with someone else.”</p><p>Hannah B smiled. “Which lips?” she asked with a straight face.</p><p>“Oh for the love of God, don’t answer that,” April groaned.</p><p>Blair cracked a grin. “Lips works in the plural sense,” she winked, looking Hannah B up and down.</p><p>They didn’t get to play laser tag. Instead, April quietly and discreetly removed herself from the conversation with Sterling and snuck away to kiss in the backseat of Sterling’s car. </p><p>Sterling locked the doors and turned on the radio after they climbed inside the vehicle, which blocked out most of the noise from their surroundings.</p><p>April pulled Sterling close and noticed her slowing down when her back met the seat. There was a hesitation in Sterling’s eyes and each movement took a beat longer than it did in the past. She placed a hand on April’s shoulder, but then removed it immediately and bit her lip.</p><p>“Sterl,” April whispered, reaching up to touch her soulmate’s face. “You need not worry about hurting me,” she assured Sterling while she guided her hand under her shirt.</p><p>Sterling’s fingers stilled near April’s wound. “You…,” Sterling said, gulping audibly. “You almost died, April.”</p><p>“But I didn’t,” April reminded her soulmate with a soft smile. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, my love.”</p><p>“That’s what scares me. And I know you survived…physically because you’re not really okay like mentally, and I know we’re soulmates, but I don’t want you to do something dangerous like that ever again.”</p><p>“You’re my ride or die,” April shared from the bottom of her heart.</p><p>“Have I ever told you that you’re really stubborn?”</p><p>April chuckled. “It’s a fait accompli, baby.”</p><p>“You know what else is a done deal?” Sterling responded, stroking April’s hair. “The fact that I’m going to marry you someday and that it’ll be the longest wedding in history because I have a lot to say to you, like half of my vows are going to be me gushing about how amazing you are.”</p><p>“Oh is that so?” April hummed while she pulled Sterling down on top of her, meeting her lips in a languid kiss.</p><p>Sterling came up for air after a while, cheeks flushed. “I…wow,” she whispered, blinking, “what were we talking about?”</p><p>“Our future,” April answered, smiling up at her soulmate.</p><p>“I like the sound of that,” Sterling responded, closing the distance, “but there’s this particular sound that I like even more.”</p><p>April licked her lips. “A particular sound?” she questioned, eyes glinting when Sterling stared at her lips.</p><p>“I love you,” Sterling sighed. “Can I marry you yet?”</p><p>April shook her head, smiling. “I believe we have a game of laser tag to win,” she mused, “Las Vegas sounds like a lovely destination for our road trip.”</p><p>“Let’s nail those…um benches.”</p><p>“Hey, Sterl,” April said while her soulmate reached for the door. “I love you, too.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, this has been quite the journey. I spent so many weeks working on this fanfic and it's not easy to let it go. When I had this idea, I never expected it to become so long. Originally, when I started outlining my fanfic, I planned to write 12 or 13 chapters. Another fact is that the field trip was a sudden idea that I added. </p><p>Some more random facts;<br/>Blair was supposed to stay together with Spencer, but I get a gay vibe from her so I broke them up to make Banana happen. <br/>April's mother was going to die and April was going to get the news when she woke up at the hospital, but I changed my mind at the last minute because it was too cruel. <br/>Blair is actually my favorite character and it's a bummer her point of view wasn't included, but I didn't want to randomly start adding it in the middle of my fic. <br/>The reason why Sterling is a disaster in the kitchen yet bakes great pancakes is because I'm the same. My pancakes are the bomb diggity. </p><p>Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and the rest of the story. If you've read this far -- I'm curious, what was your favorite scene in the story? :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can't get this ship out of my head, so here we are. I decided to fuse my idea with a continuation of where the first season ended. </p><p>Let me know what you think :-)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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